Nantucket Romance 3-in-1 Bundle (60 page)
She’d never enjoyed winter on the island. With the winds blowing in off the ocean, it was impossible to keep a warm house. She mentally put another check in the pro column for visiting her dad in Maryland. There were many checks in the column already. Increasingly, she felt the need to escape. And soon.
Lucas’s sandals shuffled to a stop somewhere behind her. His presence pulled her shoulder muscles tight, pushed the air from her lungs.
“Did you ask him to come?” Lucas said.
Kate pivoted. “No.” She hated that he thought it. Did he think last night meant nothing? She wouldn’t have slept with him if she were in love with Bryan.
Surely he knows that.
Lucas took a sip of his coffee from the oversized Nantucket mug. It looked small in his hands.
Kate had to tell him what she’d decided, but getting the words out was harder than she imagined.
Strange, when I planned to leave him all along
. When he’d planned for her to leave all along. It shouldn’t come as any surprise now that there was no point in her staying.
Except for your feelings.
She brushed the thought away, zooming in on the logical reasons that had added checks to her pro column.
“We need to talk,” she said. It was a start. A slow one, maybe, but easing into it seemed kinder.
“Go ahead.” He held the mug in front of him, a fragile barrier between them. His feet were braced as if for a blow.
She hated that she would deliver it. “I’m leaving the island.” She measured his reaction and came away with nothing. “Now that the word is out about . . . our marriage, there’s no reason for me to stay.”
Kate chest pounded with the force of her heartbeats, walloping her ribs like a prizefighter. She waited for his response—and got nothing but silence.
“I need to get away.” She filled the gap. “I’m too accessible here, anyway, to the press. I think if I go away somewhere, this will die down more quickly.”
It occurred to her that she was leaving Lucas to deal with the press, with all the locals and their questioning glances. She was sorry for that, but staying wouldn’t make it easier. People would talk even if she stayed.
She wished she could interpret his expression, but the light from the kitchen silhouetted him. She kept talking. “If there’s nothing left of my career when this is over, maybe I can open another counseling service.” She tried to sound upbeat, but the words fell flat. She imagined driving away, leaving Lucas behind. Never seeing him again. Her throat closed off.
“Are you going back to him?”
It took Kate a moment to realize what Lucas was asking. “No.” She shook her head emphatically. “Bryan is—It’s over between us.” Hadn’t Lucas heard her telling Bryan to leave?
“He doesn’t seem to think so.”
“I don’t have feelings for him anymore. I wouldn’t have—”
Slept with you if I did.
If she finished the thought, it would raise the subject she wanted to avoid.
“Wouldn’t have . . . ?”
Her mind went back to the night before, returning like a de- hydrated woman to a spring of fresh water. Kate knew she’d never wipe the moments from the slate of her memory. She crossed her arms, hugging her waist.
“I’m going to stay with my dad awhile,” she said, avoiding his question. “In Maryland. Hopefully the scandal will fade quickly.”
He walked toward her, and she tensed with each step. But he stopped an arm’s length away. She could see his face now, lit by the light seeping through the window behind her.
“You could stay here . . .”
Did he know how tempting it was, with him looking at her that way? His eyes burning a path straight to her heart? It was the first time either of them had hinted at making the marriage permanent. It took courage for him to verbalize the idea that had floated between them for days. The night before, they’d silently brought the idea to life, but now that he said it aloud, it had a pull stronger than a riptide.
Kate tore her eyes away.
Be strong. Think with your head, not your heart. Think of your parents. Think of what you’ve learned from all your experience.
“You know it wouldn’t work, Lucas,” She said. “And even if you don’t know it, I do.” She felt him watching her and wanted to run now, far away.
“What was last night?”
The edge of hurt in his voice broke her. No matter what, no matter that she was leaving, no matter that it was over, she wouldn’t leave him thinking it meant nothing. She wouldn’t cheapen something so special.
She was touching his face before she knew what she was doing. “Oh, Lucas. Last night was—it meant so much.” The words jammed her throat. Her eyes burned.
He turned away, leaving her hand to fall on empty space.
Lucas walked away, putting space between them. Kate’s touch had too much power. He would be lost if she touched him again. How could she leave if she felt anywhere near what he did? The thought of being without her ripped him in half, worse in some ways than Emily’s death. That loss had been no one’s choice, something that just happened. If Kate left him, it would be of her own choosing.
But maybe she didn’t feel the way he did. He knew she had feelings, but maybe the depth of his love was . . . unrequited. Such a proper term for such a painful feeling.
“Lucas?” His name on her lips reminded him of the night before. She’d said his name over and over. Would he ever forget the sound of it? The heady way it made him feel to have her as his own?
He needed to change her mind.
If she would only give me a chance.
He faced her again, and now that he saw her watery eyes, he wanted to be close to her again, holding her. But he couldn’t think with her in his arms.
“Stay here, Kate. There’s something between us; won’t you stay long enough to figure out what it is?”
She wet her lips and swallowed. “I told you about my parents—about their differences and how miserable they were. What I didn’t tell you was how it ripped my mom apart when they divorced.”
She looked out the window, and the daylight lit half her face. “Even though it was her choice, she couldn’t be without him. She started drinking.” Kate gave a wry smile. “Of course, I didn’t understand it at the time. But I know now she was using the alcohol to escape reality. And the reality was, she couldn’t live with my dad and she couldn’t live without him. She was miserable either way. What kind of hope is there in that?”
“We’re not your parents, Kate.”
“We’re
just like
my parents. Opposites in every way. I don’t think I could’ve found someone less compatible. I should’ve followed my own advice and distanced myself before there were—feelings.”
She made it sound so rational. Like you could tuck unwanted emotions in a box and toss them. “That’s crazy,” Lucas said. “Love isn’t some item on a checklist.”
Her fingers clutched the curtain, and she wouldn’t look at him. He’d expected an argument. He’d expected her to rationalize why her way was best. He would find a counterargument to everything she said.
“I’ll make reservations on the ferry as soon as I can,” she said. “Possibly today. I’ll have to send for my things.”
Lucas felt like she’d punched him in the gut. She wasn’t going to defend her decision? Wasn’t going to give him a chance to convince her? He couldn’t believe it was happening so quickly. Not after the night before, when he’d felt like a surfer riding the crest of a dream wave. Now he’d crashed headfirst into the rocks.
She checked her watch. “I want to talk to your family before I go. I owe them an apology.”
It was his heart she’d broken, not his family’s.
Say something. Say something to stop her before her plans set in her mind.
“You’re in the middle of a crisis. Wait until things settle down. Don’t make a rash decision.” It was something she would say, something she could relate to.
Her eyes darkened with her frown. “It’s not rash, Lucas. I planned to leave from the beginning, remember?”
Nobody said good-byes were easy.
—Excerpt from
Finding Mr. Right-for-You
by Dr. Kate
Kate knocked on the Wrights’ door, then clasped her shaking hands behind her back. Lucas had offered to accompany her, but she needed to face his family on her own. This was her fault, not his.
The door opened, and Susan’s welcoming smile drooped. Kate watched the woman rise to her full height, watched her narrow chin notch upward. Regardless of how the woman responded, Kate was going to apologize to the family. Then she was going to have a heart-to-heart with Susan.
“Kate.” Her name was a sour ball on the woman’s tongue. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to your family. Can I come in?”
Susan waffled in the doorway, clearly torn between opening the door wider and slamming it in Kate’s face. Finally, she stepped back.
Kate followed Susan through the foyer and into the kitchen where Roy was putting a pan of dinner rolls into the oven. The smell of pot roast and garlic filled the air, and Kate’s stomach growled in response. Jamie was on a stool at the kitchen island, a book propped open on the Formica counter. They both turned at her entry.
“Hi, Kate,” Jamie said, a genuine smile on her face, and maybe a touch of pity in her eyes.
Roy shut the oven door and turned, offering her a nod and a reserved smile. Kate noticed his hands trembling for the first time and recognized it as a Parkinson’s symptom. Guilt pricked her hard. As if the Wrights didn’t have enough grief, she had made things worse.
“Is Brody around?” Kate asked. He was back from college for the weekend, and she hoped he hadn’t left already.
“He went for a walk,” Roy said. “Have a seat, Kate.”
“No, thanks,” Kate said. “I won’t stay. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am.”
“I should think so,” Susan said.
“Give her a chance.” Roy pinned his wife with a look. “Go ahead, Kate.”
Where should I start?
There had been so much deception, and now the entire family was being publicly embarrassed. “I’m sure you’re aware that my original fiancé backed out of the wedding on our wedding day. I can’t begin to tell you how devastated I was. When Lucas offered to stand in, I thought it was crazy at first.”
Kate tucked her hair behind her ears. “And then it began to seem like the only sane solution. With my book releasing the same day, I realized it would sink like an anchor if my wedding didn’t go off as planned, and with all the media there to cover it—well, I guess I took the coward’s way out.”
Susan crossed her arms. Roy leaned his elbows on the island beside Jamie and studied Kate, the leathery lines around his eyes deepening.
“I never expected the truth to get leaked to the press. Lucas and I were going to divorce quietly after a year—we had it all planned. Obviously, everything’s changed now.”
Kate’s throat was dry as desert sand. She wet her lips. “I take full responsibility, and I’m sorry for the embarrassment I’ve caused. I’m leaving the island this afternoon, but I wanted to let you know that you’ve become very special to me.”
Jamie’s eyes turned glassy and she blinked rapidly. Roy’s face had softened, and Kate’s own eyes burned. Even Susan seemed to lose some of her starch. That might change by the time Kate was finished.
Memories of the past few months flew through Kate’s head at digital speed. The first time she’d met the Wrights, when she and Lucas had returned from their honeymoon. The time they’d come to watch her on
Dr. Phil
. All the walks with Susan. They were the family Kate never had, and she’d miss them. Even Susan.
Her throat thickened. “Thanks for opening your home to me. It was truly an honor to become part of your family, even if only for a little while.”
Jamie jumped up and hugged her. “I’ll miss you, Kate.”
Kate returned the embrace. “Me too, Jamie. You’re the sister I never had.”
When they parted, Roy embraced her. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”
Kate wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and spoke around her closed throat. “It’s for the best. Thanks for all those home-cooked meals.”
There was a moment of awkwardness as she faced Susan. “Can I have a word with you in private, Susan?” Kate asked.
Susan gave a short nod, her styled hair bouncing, and Kate followed her into the foyer. The woman turned to her and crossed her arms over her chest. The overhead light was harsh on the woman’s face, making her appear older than her years.
Kate tempered her words with grace. “I wanted to talk to you about my mom.”
Susan’s jaw went slack; then she pressed her rosy lips together and looked away. “Lucas shouldn’t have told you.”
Kate shrugged. “I asked him why you didn’t like me, and he felt he owed me an explanation.”
“I don’t want to talk about this with—”
“You don’t have to say a word; just let me say my piece. Please.” It was the last time Kate would see her anyway. The woman needed to hear the truth from someone, and if her own family wouldn’t say it, Kate would.