My Only (30 page)

I saw Aaron and Maya. He gave me a wave, which I returned. To my surprise, I saw Casey at the dance. He was with Clare Matthews. They looked good together. I thought about saying hel o, just to see where we stood as friends, but he never looked at me.

Knowing I could keep her out until after midnight was awesome. The dance would end at eleven, but at ten I asked if she wanted to leave. Two hours of a high school dance seemed like enough. Olivia agreed.

The night had cooled off, so I ran the heat in her car on high. Now that we had left the dance, I didn’t know where we should go or what we should do. I drove us around the high school campus and parked near the stadium. Olivia leaned over the center console and kissed me. We didn’t stop kissing until the heat of the car and the heat of our bodies grew to be too much.

“Come on,” she said as she pul ed the keys from the ignition. She grabbed her shawl, then popped open the door.

“Livie, it’s kind of cold, and—” Stopping when I realized she couldn’t hear me anyway, I got out, shoving my hands in my pockets and raising my shoulders to brace against the chil in the air. She was digging around in the trunk.

“My grandpa makes me keep al this stuff in case of emergency,” she said as she straightened. She had a bundle of blankets in her arms. “Can you close that?” She nodded toward the trunk.

I shut it then asked, “What are you doing?”

“You’l see,” she said. Without waiting for me, she headed toward the stadium. We stopped at the wire fencing. There was a little spot where the fence had been peeled back. It was just big enough for someone my size to squeeze through, but we’d have to crawl.

She squatted down, shoved the blankets through, and then got onto her hands and knees. “Liv, your dress!”

“Hold the fence up so it doesn’t snag.”

I did as she instructed. I wasn’t sure how I’d explain a ripped dress to her grandparents. She’d pul ed her dress up a bit, so her knees were bare as she slipped through.

From the other side, she said, “Your turn.”

“Liv, I don’t know about this. It’s real y—”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s cold. That’s what the blankets are for. Now get over here, please.” When I was on the other side, I swiped at my knees. The ground wasn’t muddy, so most of the dirt came off my dress pants easily. “What are we doing?” I asked again.

She took my hand and led me out onto the field. The lights were off, so there wasn’t much to see. I knew the field wel , though, so I could tel we were somewhere along the thirty-yard line when she stopped. We weren’t in the center of the field, more toward the visitor’s side, when she dropped the blankets.

She looked up at the sky. “It’s so pretty tonight.”

I didn’t look up. I looked at her. There was nothing more beautiful in the world than her right now. “Liv,” I said as a chil ran through me. If I was getting cold, she must have been, too.

She spread the blanket on the ground. “Sit.” She said, pointing, so I sat. Draping a blanket over my shoulders then swinging another blanket over hers, Olivia stood right in front of me. I couldn’t help but reach out and touch her legs. She moved closer and sat down on my lap.

Extending her blanket, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. We were in a cocoon of warmth. Now I thought her plan was bril iant. The blankets and body heat made it feel like we were snug inside one of our bedrooms, but our surroundings were so much more intimate somehow.

“The dance promised fun under the stars,” she whispered, “so it’s only appropriate that we have some.” I didn’t know if she was talking about having some stars above us or some fun. Either way, she was right. Natural y, the closeness of our bodies drew us together and the light kisses I began with gave way to heavier caresses and touches. Those gave way quickly as wel and soon we were merged together.

I was total y in the moment. The portion of my mind that normal y would’ve been worried about everything else quieted, and soon I found myself absorbed in the feel and sensation of Olivia.

I was so captivated by her, that even after we had stil ed and were pressed together, just listening to the sounds of each other’s body, I was unaware of anything outside the little bubble we’d created.

“Al right, lovebirds, break it up.”

Neither of us noticed the beam of light that bobbed closer to us until it was too late. My stomach knotted when I heard the voice.

Olivia gasped and we both looked up. We weren’t naked, but we did have to adjust our clothing.

At first, Olivia thought it was funny that a security guard found us. I didn’t think it was, but I wasn’t incredibly remorseful about what we’d been caught doing until the guard mentioned police and trespassing.

The guard made us stand outside the stadium by Olivia’s car for a half hour before a lone squad car pul ed up. Olivia was tightly wrapped in a blanket. I added the one we’d been sitting on when I noticed how badly she was shivering. Mine was bunched up on the hood of the car. I was too nervous to be cold.

The cop knew me on sight. Not that I’d ever been in trouble before, but because he was an old friend of my father’s. He studied me for a moment.

“It’s usual y Aaron we find doing this sort of thing,” he said casual y as he looked me up and down. He probably took note of my disheveled appearance before turning to look at my girlfriend.

The guard fil ed him in on finding us. It took another forty-five minutes before Officer Davis let us go. Because we were both eighteen and because he knew my father, he didn’t make a big deal about it. He was sure to let us know that if he wanted to, he could arrest us for trespassing.

He must’ve gotten a kick out of the two of us getting caught like that. I wondered if he’d cal my dad. It didn’t real y matter. I knew my father wouldn’t punish me or anything, but I worried about him cal ing Olivia’s grandparents. They’d be pissed.

As it turned out, they didn’t need a cal from the cops. When we arrived at her house, it was almost two in the morning. A ful hour and a half past her curfew. Olivia was pale as her grandmother pul ed her into the house, leaving me out on the porch. Mr. Cartwright looked tired as he stood to the side, hand braced against the open door.

From outside, I couldn’t see what was going on, but I heard Olivia try to explain to her grandma. I looked up at Mr. Cartwright and did my best to sound confident. “I’m sorry, sir, I just—”

“Goodnight, Adam,” Mrs. Cartwright said from inside the house.

“But . . .” I didn’t go on because I decided no excuse would be good enough for them at this point.

“We said twelve thirty. You brought her back at two. I asked you
not
to indulge her, and you bring her back in such a state that I don’t even have to wonder if you did or didn’t. Do you have any idea how sensitive her condition is to the cold? Do you—?” Mr. Cartwright interrupted his wife. “Go in and get her warmed up. Let the boy go home.” As Olivia’s grandmother backed away from the door, I swal owed hard and looked at her grandfather. Again, I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep her out too late, we just—”

He shook his head. “I don’t need to know what you were up to, son. Olivia’s got a mind of her own and when it’s set there’s no changing it, but right now it’s time for you to go home. She’l settle down,” he said, then added, “in time.” I was up until four in the morning, waiting for some sign of how Olivia was doing. Her light came on around three, and at three fifty-five, I received a text.
I’m sorry. I had a good time. Gma is flipping out, but I kinda think it’s worth it.

I had a good time, too, but I feel bad. She’s so pissed.

She’ll get over it. Besides, she’s not so pissed that she took my phone.

That didn’t make me feel much better.
Do you think I can see you tomorrow?
Are you feeling okay?

I feel fine. We should be able to see each other tomorrow. She can’t keep me inside. I’m not a baby. Besides, we have gpa on our side.

It was late, and I knew she needed to sleep, so I decided to worry about it in the morning.
Good night, Livie. I love you.

I love you too, Ad!
The text made me beam.

But the next day I found out that Mrs. Cartwright
could
keep her inside al day. Via texts, Olivia told me she fine, but her grandma was trying to prove a point.

The point was proven again and again. By the time Monday rol ed around, I hadn’t seen her at al , except for a glimpse in the window. I headed off to North Carolina with my dad and brother, worried about whether I’d ever be al owed to see my girlfriend again.

It wasn’t until the Saturday after my trip when I saw Olivia again. By that time, it had been a week, and I was going crazy. My phone buzzed and beeped on my nightstand. I sat up in bed and stretched. When I picked up my phone, I saw it was nearly midnight.

I’m sneaking out to see you. Open your front door in 2 mins.

It took a ful thirty seconds for the words to sink in, but when they did, I hopped out of bed and went to the window. The street was barely il uminated. Only the street lamp a few houses down and porch lights broke through the black of night. Olivia’s room was dark, just like the rest of her house, but movement on the porch caught my attention.

Damn! She was already out of the house. Wasting no more time, I tore out of my room, down the stairs, and to the front door. I opened it just as her feet hit the top step to my house. Moving out, I took her by the waist and brought her to me. I shut the door when we were both safely inside.

It was so good to see her, but it was even better to feel her. I pressed her back against the foyer wal and bent down to kiss her. The positioning was awkward because the coat hooks were right behind her. Everything kept fal ing down, but I didn’t stop kissing her.

Final y, she placed her hands on my chest and pushed gently. Reluctantly, I stood up straight, but didn’t take my eyes off of her. She kicked off her shoes and then as she stepped away from the wal , I kissed her again. Aaron, returning to his room, a bowl of cereal in his hand, stopped in the foyer and gave us a look. I couldn’t read his expression, but it seemed like perhaps he was amused that Olivia was here so late. The air around us seemed too tense for amusement. It was the first time al three of us were together.

“Hey, Aaron,” Olivia said, breaking the tense silence.

“What’s up?” he said, his tone was casual, almost as if they’d never even had a relationship. Maybe it was better that way.

“Nothing,” she said. “Except potential y getting in serious trouble for sneaking over here.” His eyes moved from her to me. The edges of his lips pul ed downward as he jutted out his bottom lip and nodded his head. What was that?

Pride? “Nice,” he said.

Aaron moved to the stairs and I waited until I heard his bedroom door close before saying, “That was . . . pleasant.” She shrugged. “I don’t like to hold grudges.”

Kissing her once more, I could’ve made out with her forever downstairs in my little foyer, but again, she careful y pressed me back. I bit my bottom lip as I backed away. When I focused on her—not my want of her—I realized she was a little paler than usual. Her breathing was heavy, and as she took a step toward the stairs, her legs wobbled.

I took her arm and we climbed the stairs slowly. Once in my room, behind a closed door, she sat down on my bed. Olivia held a hand to her chest, and tried to give me a grin.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Just wanted to see you.” She thought she was comforting me, but she wasn’t. She was short of breath from the walk to my house.

Perhaps making out with her in the foyer had been too much, but it seemed absurd that she’d be like this just from kissing.

Sitting down next to her, I ran my hand through her hair and said. “Something’s wrong.”

“No. There’s nothing wrong, I’m fine,” she said. “My grandma’s freaking out.”

“Stil ?”

Olivia shook her head. “Not about the dance. I fainted on Wednesday, and—”

“Why didn’t you tel me?” I stood up quickly as my mind raced with worry.

She encircled my wrist with both hands and pul ed me down onto the bed. Once I was sitting, she laid her hand flat on my chest and pressed until I was lying down. Olivia took the covers at the foot of the bed and drew them up over us as she lay back. Her head rested in the crook of my shoulder as her leg hitched over mine.

“I didn’t want to worry you. You would’ve wanted to see me, and Grandma wouldn’t have let you.” She sounded like she was breathing better now.

I hated the thought of her passing out. I hated how pale she was. I hated that even now, resting against me, she held a hand to her heart. I wondered if she was in pain. She would probably never tel me. “You have to have that surgery.”

“I don’t want to.”

I pushed her hair back from her face and made sure she was looking right into my eyes when I said, “I don’t care. I’m starting to see your grandma’s point about you not knowing the limitations of your body.”

She sat up, bracing al her weight onto one arm as she looked down at me. “You two talk about me behind my back? What? Do you two get together and discuss my medical file or something?” She was struggling for breath. “Thank God Grampa is on my side!” Now she sat al the way up, swinging her feet over the side of the bed like she was preparing to leave. I gently held her by her shoulders, keeping her seated on the bed, and bringing her back against me. One of my arms slipped around her waist and the other around her upper chest. I hugged her, resting my chin on her shoulder. “I’m just worried about you,” I whispered. “This is scary.”