My Only - Alex & Jamie (25 page)

They still hadn’t classified their relationship. Jamie felt like things were moving at warp speed. When she had mentioned to Alex last night on the phone how fast this all felt to her he had just said that since, technically, they had gotten engaged the first night they met and
still
weren’t married, he thought they should actually speed things up a bit.

She smiled now as she thought about it. That was one of her favorite things about Alex. Even though on the outside Jamie never let anyone see her sweat, on the inside she had a tendency to stress about things and worry. But no matter what the situation, Alex could always make her smile. Even if he wasn’t here.

Would that change if they took the next step? Sex always changed things, right? It made things complicated. So what if everything got more complicated? What would she do then?

She laid her head on the steering wheel. Why was she overthinking this? She wanted Alex. Alex wanted her. They were two consenting adults. End of story.

Decision made, she put her key in the ignition and turned it.

--- ~ ---

Alex paced back and forth in his front room. Jamie had called over an hour ago and asked if she could stop by. She had sounded strange on the phone but he hadn’t questioned her about it, figuring he would ask her what was wrong when she got here. This was the first time she was coming over in a non-nursing capacity and he didn’t want to say anything that would cause her to change her mind.

But, it only took about ten minutes to get to his house from hers and she still wasn’t here. That’s it, he was calling her. Just as he pulled out his phone he heard a light knock on his door.

When he opened it he saw Jamie turning as if she was going to leave. She looked back at him like she had just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“Going somewhere?” he asked.

“No…yes…no,” she stammered.

“Jamie, is everything okay?” He stepped out onto his porch and the cold air hit him like a slap in the face.

“Yes,” she said but didn’t move from the middle of his porch.

He stepped to her and pulled her into a hug, she was shivering,

“How long have you been standing out here?” he said as he ran his hands up and down her back trying to warm her up through her coat.

“A while,” she said into his chest.

“Do you want to come inside?” He couldn’t hear her muffled answer but he felt her head nod up and down against him.

He moved them inside and after he shut the door and took her jacket he asked, “Do you want some coffee or tea?”

“Tea would be good,” she said, nervously looking down as she rubbed her hands together, warming them up.

They walked into the kitchen and Jamie sat silently as he fixed her a cup of tea.

Alex waited while she took several sips before asking, “So any reason you almost became a human Popsicle out on my porch?”

“Joey’s spending the night at Hazel’s,” Jamie blurted out.

“Oh, okay. I’m sure he’ll have fun,” Alex said, hoping that would help put her mind at ease.

“Yeah, they're making sheet forts, he’s having a great time,” Jamie said as if that was beside the point.

“Good. That’s good,” he replied, not really clear on what she was so upset about. “So why were you standing on my porch freezing?”

“I thought since Joey’s having a sleepover...” She took another drink of tea, the way some people would down a shot of tequila or vodka for liquid courage, then continued, “...maybe we could, too.”

“Okay,” he said still not following. Then her meaning hit him like a bolt of lightning, “Oh, a
sleepover
.”

Her lips were pursed together tightly and her eyes widened. She nodded her head.

“God, you are so damn cute.” Alex just couldn’t get over how adorable she was. He smiled and she didn’t look like she appreciated it.

“I’m not trying to be cute,” she said, clearly frustrated.

“I know.” He scooted his chair back. “Come here,” he gently commanded.

He saw her hands shaking as they wrapped gently around her cup of tea. She took a few deep breaths. Her eyes traveled across the table and up until they met his, they were filled with both excitement and uncertainty.

Alex smiled. Now all of her strange behavior made a lot more sense. Alex knew what a big step this was for her. He had no idea if anything was going to happen between them tonight. Right now, he honestly didn’t care. The simple fact that she wanted to be with him meant more to him than any sex he’d ever had in his entire life.

He waited patiently for her to make her decision, to see if she trusted him and trusted herself with him. He could tell she was still weighing the pros and cons.

He watched her as she sat in front of him. Wisps of her golden brown hair fell from her ponytail, softly framing her face. Her honey-colored eyes glittered in the soft light filtering in from the fire in the front room. Her skin still had a rose blush to it, from the cold, highlighting her perfect features. She had the kind of beauty that inspired artists to paint pictures, write sonnets, and sing love songs. Jamie was a living, breathing muse.

“You really have no idea how unbelievably beautiful you are, do you?” His gravelly tone was filled with reverence.

He saw in her eyes the moment her decision was made. Taking a deep breath she stood and walked around the table to stand in front of him.

He patted his knee, the expression on his face leaving little doubt that the gesture was an invitation. She moved and sat with her legs draped over his.

He wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in the crook of her neck. He inhaled deeply and the clean-fresh-citrus smell that was uniquely hers filled his nostrils. It was intoxicating. God, he loved how she smelled.

He pulled her close to him, the hand that still had a cast resting on her thigh as his other ran up and down her back. She felt so right in his arms. Slowly, he felt the tension drain from her. Although her body was starting to relax, he knew that her mind was probably racing.

“Jamie,” he whispered gently. When she didn't respond right away, he squeezed her knee lightly.

She lifted her gaze to meet his. He saw desire there, but also nervousness and hesitation.

“Nothing has to happen tonight,” he assured her with a smile. “We can keep this sleepover PG.”

She didn’t say anything, just stared at him. Her chest rose and fell in a ste
ady, rapid pattern. She bit her bottom lip.

He smiled, “Well...maybe PG-13.”

She let out a little exasperated sigh, “Alex.”

“Were you hoping for NC-17?” he teased.

Her mouth twitched and a small grin finally appeared on her face, “I want something to happen. I want to do this, it’s just…”

“What?” He didn’t mean to rush her, but her words caused an intense need to well up inside of him and he had to check himself in order to avoid rushing things. He needed to take it slow, let her set the pace – no matter how impossible that may seem.

“I want to be with you, not just…you know, the sleepover, but I want to try and be with you in a relationship.” She took a deep breath. “But…”

His heart was pounding so hard against his ribs he was sure she could feel it’s rhythm against her body. “But what?” he prompted once again.

“I’m just not sure if I’m ready for Joey and Hazel and everyone to know," she licked her lips nervously, "because if it doesn’t work out…”

“I get it.” He knew this was not easy for her and she was taking a big leap just to get to the point they were at now. Honestly, he was relieved that 'going public' was her biggest concern! “We don’t have to tell anyone anything, not until you’re ready.”

“Thanks,” she said, sounding relieved but still somewhat distracted.

“Was that all that was bothering you?”

“Mostly.” She nodded.

“What else?” he said, his hand moving of its own accord, rubbing up and down her leg. He could feel her thigh trembling beneath is fingers.

“Just nerves,” she said, swallowing hard.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said breathlessly.

“Okay,” he said, his hand moving inexorably higher, creeping up her thigh with studied deliberation.

“Because I can kiss you,” he said, as he pressed his lips against the sweet spot at base of her neck.

“And lick you.” He slowly ran his tongue up her soft skin, stopping right below her ear.

“And touch you.” He inched his hand even further up her thigh, his fingers dipping in at the apex between her legs.

“And make you forget all about your nerves.” His lips brushed her earlobe as he spoke.

He heard a small moan escape from her throat.

Pulling his head back, he stopped rubbing her back and tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear. “But I want you to be sure. I don’t want you to have any regrets.”

“I’m sure.” Her eyes filled with determination, voice shaky with anticipation.

He didn’t need to be told twice. A slow smile spread across his face as he moved his arm beneath her legs and scooped her up as he stood.

Her arms flew around his neck, concern lacing her tone, “Alex, your ribs!”

“I’m fine,” he growled, arousal coursing through his veins.

He had planned to take her to his bedroom, but feeling her full breasts pressed up against his chest as she clung to his neck made him rethink his plan. He only made it as far as the front room before he stopped and laid her down on the couch.

Jamie’s arms remained wrapped tightly around his neck as he hovered over her. He rested his left arm beside her face as he placed his other hand beneath the hem of her shirt. As his fingers grazed her soft skin, he felt a shiver run through her small frame.

Her body’s reaction to his touch fueled his desire like nothing else ever had. He wanted to feel more of her, touch more of her. He needed skin to skin contact. He began to lift away from her but Jamie held onto his neck. When he continued sitting up, her arms fell to her side and he heard a small sound of disappointment escape from her lips.

He smiled down at her, her eyes searching for an explanation of why he had moved away. He quickly pulled his shirt up and over his head. Jamie’s golden eyes widened as they greedily devoured his bare chest.

Her hand tentatively reached up, her fingers trailing from his shoulder down his chest, stopping only at the waistline of his sweats before returning on the path they had just made. Each time she made the sensuous journey her caress grew bolder. What had started out as a feather-light touch was now an erotic massage.

Alex sat still, trying desperately to give her time to explore his body. His erection throbbed to the same pounding beat as his heart. He forced himself to keep his hands at his sides, knowing that if he touched her, the thin thread of his self-control would snap in two. He had never wanted anything in his life as much as he wanted to touch Jamie right now.

Her hand moved away from his body as she reached for her own shirt and began lifting it above her head. He watched as the fabric slid up her body, revealing her slim and taut waist, her skin glowing from the flickering flames of the fire. Just as the hem skimmed her ribs Alex placed his hand on top of hers, stilling their progress. She released the fabric and he lifted both of her hands above her head. “Don’t move them,” he instructed.

Alex felt like he had at Christmastime when he was a kid, opening presents with intense focus. All of his brothers would rip open their gifts, but not Alex. He would take the time to slowly unwrap each one, prolonging the anticipation of the reveal as long as possible. Jamie was the greatest gift Alex could ever imagine receiving and he wanted to take his time unwrapping her.

His gaze hungrily moved from her thin arms, now framing her beautiful face, down over her still-covered breasts. He noticed that her nipples had grown hard beneath her shirt. He leaned down, pressing his lips to her beaded nipples through the soft cotton material that covered them. He alternated, kissing and then sucking, first the right then the left, his teeth softly nipping the hardened buds.

“Alex,” she cried. His name sounded equal parts plea and moan as her body strained against his mouth.

He kissed a trail down the lower mound of her full breast, continuing below her rib until he finally felt her soft supple skin beneath his lips. His mouth tingled as it moved across her belly, peppering kisses on every inch of her exposed flesh. A sweet sound of pleasure escaped her throat and her body quivered against him. The sensation caused an almost violent jolt of arousal to shoot through him.

He needed more. He needed to see more, touch more, kiss more. He sat up and, in one smooth motion, pulled her shirt over her head, revealing a simple white bra. He then moved immediately to her jeans, popping the button and pulling the zipper down. He scooted farther down on the couch as she lifted her legs; pulling off the jeans, he tossed them on the floor.

He sat still as his gaze started at her ankle, moving up her long, lean legs to the pink cotton panties covering her center. His eyes traveled farther still, past her slim waist to the full mounds of her breasts, covered by her white bra, her pink, round nipples clearly visible through the cotton fabric that was wet because of his earlier attention.