My Ex From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy) (10 page)

He shrugged. “I still have my resources. I am a very well loved Titan.”

“Wouldn’t the correct form be ‘was a very well loved Titan’ since your boney human butt bears zero resemblance to anything titanic at the moment?”

“You think busting my chops is in your best interests right now?” he chided.

Fine. I had bigger things to occupy me. Like terror. This wasn’t the smoothest ride. Apparently being dead didn’t earn you an easy passage. I sat paralyzed in the middle of the raft as the devil water sprayed and frothed around us.

On the plus side, the raft got a bit emptier as the occasional dead person got taken out by the River Styx.

I have no idea how long we were on the raft but it felt like forever before it stopped.

“Finally,” I exclaimed, ready to bound to shore.

Theo stopped me with a shake of his head. “Not here. This is Tartarus. For the evil doers. Going to be a lot of massive regret in about thirty seconds.

I was surprised when about half the figures on our raft disembarked. They’d seemed like such nice dead people. I craned my neck to take in the fence of bronze that stretched high and wide into infinity. “Doesn’t seem so bad.”

Then the cries started. It was the sound of a million souls damned into a frozen eternity. I flashed back to that place of dark terror I’d seen the night I kissed Kai. Tartarus. For some reason, I’d been behind that fence before.

The sounds overwhelmed me with despair. I sat down hard on the raft. All I wanted was to lay down and die. I started to fall back but before I could get anywhere, Theo grasped my arm, digging his fingers into it painfully. “Leave me alone,” I moaned.

“Fight it. Dead people have no emotions. If you cave, you’ll unbind to your true form and we’ll be killed. Come on,” he urged. “Neutralize the despair. Think of things you like. Chocolate, sarcasm, Hannah …”

I didn’t care. The raft pushed off again with a bump.

“Remember that time Bethany let you leave the bathroom with your skirt tucked into your underwear? Or when she loaned you her pen that leaked and you were covered in ink just in time for class photos?”

“This is your way of cheering me up?” Luckily, the farther away we got from Tartarus, the better I felt. “That was horrible.”

“Don’t worry. Our next stop will amaze.”

He was right. We were finally able to disembark at the foot of Hades’ palace, built entirely of dark green, marbled stone. While nothing bloomed in its gardens, the grounds were filled with statues and the bright moonlight cast a silvery glow over everything.

We wandered up a long stoney path toward the main doors, past a still pool, obsidian black, ringed with silver twisted trees. It was oddly calming. I remembered it as The Pool of Lethe. Hades had spirits drink from it when they had trouble accepting their new reality.

We rounded a corner and hit a crowded area. I tried not to gape. This was the ultimate in people watching. I scooted out of the way of a pair of old biddies, tottering on impossibly high heels, their hair teased and lips hideously overblown.

“Fashion victims,” Theo whispered. “Death by collagen injection.”

I muffled a laugh as we passed under a stone archway and approached a pair of ornately carved iron doors decorated with scenes of gods in battle.

“The war of the Titans,” Theo explained. He motioned to one panel which showed a god receiving a helmet from a Cyclops. “Hades getting the Cap of Invisibility. Droned on about that stupid hat for eons. Big deal. It’s not like it fit ‘ole One Eye.”

Theo gazed at the door a moment longer, a sad look on his face. I wondered if he was depicted on a panel. I would have asked him but he pivoted sharply and strode off.

I lingered, reaching out a finger to trace a detail. I could have examined the doors for hours. They were stunning and intricately crafted. But Theo had already gone inside, so I reluctantly tore my gaze away and hurried after him.

I found myself in a cavernous room. The walls were hewn from the same large blocks of green stone as outside. It was as vast as a football field and empty save for a large throne set on a base halfway across. Theo stood beside the throne, waiting for me.

I made my way across the slick, jet-black floor warily. The throne seemed to rise from the ground like an island from the sea. Cut from one giant block of obsidian, it stood thirty feet tall. Even getting to the foot of the throne from its base took about ten tremendous stairs. How large were these gods?

“Here’s the Cliff notes,” Theo began. “You know that Hades is Lord of the Underworld. He’s not the Christian interpretation of Satan. Not pure evil. Totally power-mad and arrogant, though, like his brothers. Hades is obsessed with gaining a bigger share than he got. And he’s raised junior to be the same.”

Some things were coming back to me. “Yeah. And Kai was getting tired of waiting for the throne. Hades always put him off, going on about how great Hades himself was, and how disappointing Kai was. Kai was going to do something about it.”

“Just Kai?” Theo countered.

I couldn’t answer him so I climbed the stairs at the base to examine the throne.

Kai and I stood on the base, having been summoned by Hades. The Lord of the Underworld lounged lazily on his throne, attended by an entourage of nymphs. In one fist he grasped a wineskin from which he drank greedily. His face, still handsome, showed the toll of his excessive pleasure taking.

“My son,” he boomed to his various sycophants. “Your next ruler of Hades.” He sneered. “A whelp enthralled by a slut of Zeus.”

I hated him. How could my father and mother have left me here? Why hadn’t they taken Kai and me away back up to Olympus?

“Better enthralled by a goddess then pawing desperately at any half-female, willing or not,” Kai shot back.

“I rue the day I sired you,” Hades glowered. He shifted, revealing a brilliant round sapphire set into the centre of the throne.

“Not more than I,” Kai retorted.

I snapped my head up. The gemstone was still there. I clambered up onto the seat.

The sapphire called to me. “Daughter of Demeter, born of Zeus,” I murmured. “My mom gave me this when I was born …”

“… And Hades took it away when he kidnapped you,” Theo finished.

I nodded. “No one besides than me can handle it, so Hades made me set it into the throne for him, just to rub it in. Then he cast some spell on the stone so that if anyone tried to steal it, he’d know.”

I shot a cocky grin at Theo. “Luckily, I figured that one out ages ago. He would have noticed if I kept it, but he couldn’t prevent me from holding it.” I was thrilled at how much was rushing back to me. “Hat tip to you, Theo, for bringing me back to this baby.”

“Pleasure’s all mine,” Theo replied.

I rubbed my hands together to warm them. The trick was to place my palm over the entire stone, binding the pendant to my skin. I sighed in delight as I felt it adhere. Then bit by painfully slow bit, I pulled my hand back, drawing the sapphire with it. It pulsed at my touch.

Finally, the pendant popped free. I held it up to the light. Only a couple inches in diameter and about the size of a small egg, it was finely etched. A tiny silver loop at the top could be used to thread a chain.

One etching showed a thunderbolt, the other a sheaf of wheat. The symbols of my two parents. I clasped it tightly in my palm. For not knowing it existed ten minutes ago, I was incredibly relieved to have the gem back in my possession.

“You really have to stop touching my things.”

The menace underneath that silky tone sent shivers down my spine. Hades. He may have been massive at twenty feet tall, but the past sixteen years hadn’t done him any favors. He appeared even more bloated and red-faced. His once jet black hair was now shot through with a lot of white. Even so, he exuded an enormous amount of charisma. There was something incredibly compelling about the god, despite his scariness. Probably where his son got it.

I straightened my shoulders, my head held high, trying not to feel like an ant before an elephant. “How did you know I was here?”

“As if I wouldn’t know what was going on in my realm? The second you removed the gem, you triggered an alarm.”

Theo shot me an “I thought you knew what you were doing” look.

Hades smiled. Not kindly. “Hello, Prometheus.”

“Wasn’t sure you’d recognize me,” Theo said.

“Who else would accompany our Persephone? But don’t blame her. The moment I discovered she’d been murdered, I changed the spell on the stone.” He sighed as if weary. “I’m not surprised. She was too irritating to truly be dead.”

“Now what, Hades?” Theo sounded bored. “Torture? Fiery death?”

I elbowed him. Why give Hades ideas?

“Wine.”

Not the answer I’d been expecting.

Hades plucked me off his throne and ushered us around to the back of it. I thought his touch would be scaly, cold, and evil. Not so. His meaty fingers were surprisingly smooth and warm. I guess he didn’t do a lot of manual labor. He placed his hands on the base, splayed his fingers and pushed.

I gasped as a huge block of stone swung open to reveal a door in the base.

Hades manhandled us through.

I felt a moment of fear as the door silently swung closed again, blocking us in, but curiosity got the better of me.

As black as the outside of the base had been, the inside radiated a warm gold. Because it was gold. I whistled. A hallway led off the room. I could see far enough into it to know that it sloped steeply. It must have led under the floor of the throne room.

I glanced up at the ceiling to see if it was gold as well—which it was—but was distracted by a black iron chandelier. I knew that lighting fixture. “Oh!” I inhaled sharply. “That light. I stared at it … after …” A flood of images assaulted me, none of them pleasant. I grasped my sides reliving the agony of my murder once again.

“It’s just a memory,” Theo soothed. “It can’t hurt you.”

“Such a good day, your death. We could always reenact it.” Hades sounded amused with himself.

I’d been paralyzed from a dart in my side. I slumped to the floor, unable to hold up my own weight. I tried to scream, but my voice didn’t work. Someone laughed. I tried to see who, but couldn’t.

“This is where you found me?” Theo nodded in response.

“Any thoughts on how you got here?” Hades spoke in a tone of utter disinterest. I couldn’t tell if he really wanted to know or was bluffing.

Either way, I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.

“Going to murder me outright now?” I accused. “You hid behind your Cap of Invisibility the first time.”

Hades frowned. “If I’d killed you, my face would have been the last thing you’d seen.” His expression changed to that of kindly host. “You look pale. Come. Sit.” He led us to an enormous pile of throw cushions on the ground, each one of which was sofa-sized for Theo and me.

I surreptitiously slid the pendant into the pocket of my fleece jacket. I was hoping for out of sight, out of mind as far as Hades was concerned.

He saw me and smiled, amused. “You can hold on to your trinket.” The “for now” was implied.

We’d see about that. This gem was coming with me, no matter what.

Hades clapped his hands.

A winged baby emerged from the hallway, hovering in mid-air, a tray with two small and one much larger wine goblet in his hands. No cutie pie, him. He was more like “Children of the Corn” creepified by a zillion. I began shivering with terror. Theo stroked my back to keep me calm.

“You don’t remember Thanatos? Death?” asked Hades.

I gasped at the reveal of the baby’s name.

“The false one hurts my feelings,” Thanatos said dryly, in a surprisingly low voice. “Wine?”

I recalled Theo’s warnings and shook my head. I didn’t trust my voice to speak.

“No? Shame. Such a good vintage.” Hades drank deeply from his own glass. “Something to eat, then?”

I looked between Hades, Lord of the Underworld, lounging in front of me with his booze, and the floating death baby with the rumbly voice and felt hysterical laughter bubble up inside me. One way or another I was going to be killed yet again in this place.

“Sure,” I tossed out, numb. “Pomegranates.”

“Soph,” Theo warned.

“What?” I laughed. “I really think fruit is the least of our worries right now, Theo.”

“I give you my word no harm will come to you from the food or drink,” Hades said. “There are so many other ways to destroy you.”

“Still. We’re good,” Theo reiterated, as a bearded young man, who happened to be both naked and have wings spouting from his head arrived. Guess they were just for show, as he was planted firmly on the ground. He presented me with a large silver bowl of pomegranate seeds.

“It is my pleasure to serve you. Your love of this fruit is legendary.” Naked guy sounded like he was a two-pack-a-day man. I recalled he was Hypnos, a.k.a. Sleep. The twin to Death. I guess “twin” had a lot more leeway in Greek than in English.

I averted my eyes from Hypnos’ unattractive nudity.

“We’re not going to eat or drink,” Theo said. “So just get on with whatever you’re planning on doing to us.” Ten points for Theo’s cockiness but minus a million for trying to get us killed a second sooner than we had to be.

Hades shrugged. “Your choice.” He tossed back a handful of seeds. Suddenly he turned a violent shade of purple and clutched at his throat, coughing.

“My Lord!” Hypnos and Thanatos flew to his side.

Theo grabbed my hand and yanked me to my feet as Hypnos stared down at his bowl in horror. “The goddess. She called for the seeds.”

“You’ve poisoned Hades!” Baby roared. “And now you will die!”

The ginormous God of the Underworld was potentially dying and it looked like I’d encouraged him to snarf the poison. Throw in my motive for wanting revenge for attempted murder, and saying “I didn’t do it” probably wasn’t going to cut it with his evil minions.

Time to blow this joint, and fast.