Read My Ex From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy) Online
Authors: Tellulah Darling
Tags: #goddess, #Young Adult, #love, #romantic comedy, #Fantasy, #high school, #greek mythology
“Cassie wasn’t high when she gave me my truths in class.”
“Yeah,” Theo said, “but this is running predictions all day, all night. Girl needs a little pharmaceutical assistance.”
Hannah looked toward the water, thoughtful. “Since the spring runs around that rock, the closer we get, the more we’ll inhale. Couple of minutes and we’ll be chanting, too. But not coherently.”
“So we have two minutes,” Kai said. “Plenty of time.” He seemed impatient to get going.
He could wait another second. “Was Delphyne going to just keep Cassie here indefinitely?” Maybe having some insight into what she’d planned would give us an edge.
Theo nodded. “Til Cassie died. Yeah.”
I shot Theo an exasperated look. “Then what? Rampage the world for some other unsuspecting descendent?”
“Why rampage when you can train the handmaiden,” Kai said.
Kai’s words didn’t make any sense and I told him so.
“One Oracle, many lesser priestesses,” he explained. “Conceivably, one could be trained to fulfill the duties.”
“And she got her spare how? Mail order?” Oh. Of course. “Bethany.” I spied her royal bitchiness just as her name came out of my mouth.
She had emerged from between the laurel trees, also garbed in a white flowing robe, with a black tattoo woven around her upper arm. She held a wriggling snake.
Years of hanging with Hannah, lover of all creatures deadly, enabled me to instantly recognize the scaly darling as a small Python.
“Seems Bethany’s been reunited with a not-so-distant member of her family tree. Cold blooded, tiny brain, so many traits in common,” I said.
The others leaned in to watch as Bethany, a smug expression on her face, picked up a wooden cup from the ground and held it to Cassie’s lips for her to drink.
“Whoa,” Theo exclaimed. “Bethany is gorgeous.”
“And then some,” Kai agreed.
“Hannah, punch them for me,” I said, looking to her for support. “Hannah?”
She was racing toward the tiny bridge. I shot my light out to yank her back, before she was seen.
“Let go,” she said, struggling. “I want to be with Bethany.”
“Are you all insane?” I glanced back at Bethany. On closer inspection, she did seem to be glowing with hotness. And a compelling confidence as she turned and strode back toward the laurel trees.
Hmmm. No boys, no luxuries, apparently willingly waiting on someone hand and foot? “Stupid cow wasn’t abducted. Delphyne bought her support with those amped up looks.”
“Good trade,” Kai said.
I smacked him, then shook my shoulders out and psyched myself up. “Count of three. Keep an eye out for Bethany when we fire.”
“Don’t hurt her,” Hannah begged.
“I won’t.” On purpose. I couldn’t be held responsible for accidents.
“Theo and Hannah, you get Cassie.”
Hannah nodded and pulled the scarves from her belt loops. She handed one to Theo. “Tie her legs. I’ll do her wrists. She may struggle when we carry her, but at least she can’t flail out and smack us.”
“Smart,” I commented.
“You thought I was just accessorizing, didn’t you?” she retorted.
Guilty as charged.
I took a deep breath. “One, two, three.” The second we bolted forward, Delphyne left her position at Cassie’s feet and took to the sky with a screech.
Heavy purple wings unfolded from her back. The exact shade of her body, they’d been so cleverly folded against her that I hadn’t noticed them until they unfurled. I was amazed something that huge could fly so easily.
No time to gape. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Theo and Hannah bolt for Cassie so I immediately sent my ribbons toward Delphyne in order to dust her into oblivion. They slid right off her scales.
Not a problem. Instead, I blasted wave after wave of green light at the dragon from my eyes and palms. I could have just destroyed her with my full-body shockwave but since that would have taken out my friends, too, I was limited to single blast combat.
The waves flew from my eyes and my palms, rippling outward like a sonic blast of slaughter. Delphyne was taking some hard hits. In her pain, she howled high notes I wouldn’t have thought audible to the human ear.
But my barrage barely slowed her down. She barreled toward me, talons out, spewing fire, focused in her madness.
I narrowly ducked a swiping talon to my face. Why was this hulking creature so much harder to kill than the regular minions that kept after me? She must have been higher up on the Greek mythology food chain than those peons, and thus imbued with more power, because I wasn’t even causing one teeny scale to turn white with age.
Lucky me.
I reached the narrow bridge. I could cross it, but Theo and Hannah didn’t need my help tying Cassie up. She wasn’t fighting them, merely continuing to chant.
Since Delphyne was more than willing to travel to me, I convinced myself there was no need to traverse something I’d probably trip off of anyway.
I had no idea where Kai had disappeared to. I tried to look for him between blasting and dodging but couldn’t get a sense of his location.
Suddenly, something slithered onto my neck. I screamed and swatted at myself, hard. Bethany’s python fell to the ground. I dove away from a particularly nasty roar of fire by Delphyne, who was bent on round thirty-six in the “kill Sophie, extreme fighting championships.” I blasted the damn snake to bits.
“Rosie!” My head was yanked back by my hair as Bethany wailed on me for killing her pet.
“You insane bitch! Let go.” I want some applause at this point for not just killing her outright and putting me out of my misery. I was still trying to honor Hannah’s stupid rules about protecting humans. Or Bethany.
“When are you going to learn you can’t compete?” Bethany glared into my eyes and I realized that Delphyne was not the only insane creature on the block. “I am the human incarnation of Beauty in the universe and all are drawn to me.”
Then she decked me with a pretty beautiful right cross. As I stumbled back from the punch, she grabbed me and dragged me toward the bridge.
“Hannah!” I shouted. “Can I break the damn rule now?”
I saw her look between Bethany and me and hesitate.
Screw that. Shooting a ribbon of light from my palm, I wrapped it around Bethany’s ankle and yanked her upside down so that we were face-to-face in a weird parody of the Spiderman kissing scene. Her arm with the tattoo dangled limply by her ear. This close up, I could see there was a small figure of a dragon woven amongst the laurel leaves which ran around her forearm. I guessed the tattoo was how Delphyne had given Bethany her mojo. Maybe I could amputate her arm some day. That would be fun.
“Listen up, skankass,” I said. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Delphyne land and raise her tail for a slashing of vicious proportions.
I’d fallen back into that same eerily calm center I’d been in when fighting the Infernorators and Gold Crushers. Or maybe I was just giddy at having Bethany where I wanted her.
Anyway, as Delphyne’s tail whipped toward me, I jumped it like a skipping rope, then snapped my Bethany whip out to conk Delphyne in the head.
Bethany yelped. Delphyne roared and rose up on her hind legs. Gulp. She was really tall. I blasted the rock at her feet, causing it to crumble and Delphyne to fall backward. Her fire arced, useless, toward the sky. That ought to buy me some time.
Bethany screamed.
“Shut it,” I snarled, as I swung her back for the rest of our quality time.
“Or what?” She postured. “I’m gonna tell Principal Doucette and you’re going to be so expelled.”
I blasted Delphyne with my right hand, knocking the dragon even back further, almost to the lip of the rock. “Quiet, wannabe. Beauty fades but awesome goddess powers rock forever.” I shook the still upside-down-and-reddening Bethany to make my point.
She spewed out a bunch more meanness, invoking all sorts of colorful slurs on my person, personality, and descendants.
Okay. So done with her. I tossed her to the side where she fell in a crumpled heap and finally, blessedly, stayed silent.
Delphyne didn’t like that, either, because she renewed her attacks on me. I gave her everything I had.
“Aim for the eyes!” Hannah reminded me.
Score one eye and two. Delphyne screeched in pain.
Her loss, my gain. New and improved blind Delphyne had a much tougher time sensing me. “Good tip!” I yelled back.
For a such a big mother (and even blind), she was pretty good at dodging my hits. Even so, she should have been down and out by this point.
Exhaustion overwhelmed me and I got clumsy. Delphyne caught the right side of my body with her flames. I hit the deck, a Kindergarten chant ringing in my mind. Stop, drop and roll.
One more weak blast shot out of me. Uh-oh. Was the chamber empty? Seemed so. I was out. I lay on my back, spent.
Kai landed hard on his feet beside me.
“First off, stop doing that,” I mumbled, pain fogging my brain. “And B, where the hell have you … ?”
Words failed me as I stared at Kai’s true form. He towered above me, eighteen feet tall.
My jaw fell open as I craned my neck up to catch him in his unbridled splendor. Before me, truly was a god. Power and arrogance emanated from him. And gorgeousness. Definitely gorgeousness.
Any lingering illusion I’d had about the jerk being human disappeared. This was the Kai of my memories.
Delphyne was charging straight for us in a roar of teeth, tail, and insanity.
Kai looked down at me with what I swore was tenderness. Before I could make sure, it had been replaced with pure savagery.
I saw him raise his hands for the final attack.
No way. “I told you. She’s mine,” I snapped, as I sucked up every bit of energy in me and fired it outward from my palms at Delphyne a single blinding detonation.
I felled her in mid-charge. Her body twisted up into a gross arthritic knobbiness as her scales turned white. She spasmed violently on the ground.
Yay. Dragon down. But so was I. There was no way I was getting to my feet on my own power. Hating to ask, I rolled my eyes and stuck out my hand.
Kai was instantly at my side. With one massive hand, he carefully helped me up. “You are so stubborn. Couldn’t let me take her, could you?”
Determined to stand on my own, I tugged my hand free. My knees buckled. I dragged my sorry self over to a large rock and propped myself against it.
Once I’d positioned myself in a suitably “I’m just lounging, not actually using the stone to keep myself upright” manner, I felt free to respond to Kai’s accusations of stubbornness. A quality I may have been on a first name basis with, but still.
“We discussed this. You were on box duty.” Wearily, I raised my head to look at him, then blushed furiously as I realized that I was staring up at his groin.
Kai laughed. “Interesting possibilities,” he murmured, which came out more like a rumble that bounced off the cliff walls.
“Such a dog,” Hannah said, since she’d have had to be deaf not to hear his last comment. She and Theo had arrived with Cassie, hands and legs tied up in the scarves, strung between them. Hannah had the head, Theo the feet. Thankfully, Cassie had stopped chanting.
“You okay?” I asked Hannah.
“Except for my head trying to self-destruct. You were very impressive. Nice to see you showing some initiative.”
“Ha. Ha.”
“Good move finding the chalice,” Theo said to Kai.
I glanced between the two. “Huh?”
“Delphyne was getting some extra help strength-wise. She must have known you’d be coming for her. So she got a chalice of power. Once Kai destroyed it—”
We lurched sideways, fighting for balance as Delphyne, still down but not out, whacked her tail several times against the ground, triggering a small earthquake.
“Delphyne was more vulnerable,” I finished, once the rocks had calmed. “So I could take her down.”
“You shot the killing blow,” Kai conceded. He looked back at Delphyne thrashing on the ground. “Almost killing. Theo, we need the chain. She’s fighting hard. It’s the last vestiges of her amped-up power. We won’t be able to cut off her head otherwise.”
Theo hesitated, then placed Cassie’s legs on the ground, so that only Hannah was holding her body.
He pulled the chain out and cautiously approached Delphyne. With a swift flick of the wrist, he snapped the chain around her legs, binding them to her tail as if it was a fifth leg.
Delphyne roared in fury but held still.
Kai pulled a blade from his belt. He offered it to me, but I shook my head, still catching my breath on my rock. An eighteen-foot god would have better luck with decapitation than I would. “I’m good. Go for it.”
He studied her neck, trying, I guessed, to determine the best site for the kill. As he considered, he twirled the knife in a weird pattern between his fingers. Neat trick.
“Save the foreplay for some other time,” Theo admonished. “Cut off her head and shove it in the box already.”
Kai gave him a mocking bow. He raised his hand and in a slashing motion, brought the knife cleanly through Delphyne’s neck.
Her high-pitched death wail ended abruptly, leaving a deafening silence as her head rolled toward my feet. I jumped out of the way.
Kai bent and wiped the blade clean on the ground before returning it to his belt.
Theo motioned to Kai. “Box.”
Kai tossed it and Theo opened it using some kind of pressure. The box unfolded itself to a size more capable of containing the head. Kai placed it inside and the box resealed itself.
A loud rumbling issued from deep within the cliffs. Boulder sized pieces began to fall. Now that Delphyne was dead, the maze was unravelling.
“Get Bethany,” Hannah ordered.
We were definitely going to have to work on Hannah’s attitude adjustment where Bethany was concerned. “How do we move the head?” I yelled in a panic. That box had to be really heavy.
“Kai will have to carry it,” Theo said, ducking falling rocks as he and Hannah rebalanced Cassie. I looked over to Kai for confirmation, but couldn’t see him. How did one misplace an enormous male?
“Kai?” I jumped out of the way as a nasty big rock crashed down beside me.
Theo turned around and swore with a fury I’d never heard before.
“What?” I asked helplessly.
“He’s gone.”
“He must be around here somewhere. Why would he leave us?”
Theo pointed at Delphyne, dead and headless on the ground, but no longer bound. “Because he wanted my chain.”
I couldn’t believe it, but it was true. Kai had left, taking the chain with him.
Hannah shifted Cassie’s weight and fixed me with a grim look. “We’ve been played.”
There was no time to get answers for the tons of questions rattling around in my brain. Delphyne’s fun house was unravelling, and fast.