My Ex From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy) (5 page)

Read My Ex From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy) Online

Authors: Tellulah Darling

Tags: #goddess, #Young Adult, #love, #romantic comedy, #Fantasy, #high school, #greek mythology

BOOK: My Ex From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy)
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Then, from one blink to the next, their faces practically skeletal with age, the light constricted, then blinked out of existence. I dropped my hands in horror. The debris dropped to the ground as harmless dirt, with no sign of the beings.

The color drained from my face.

My life as I knew it had ended.

4

Between a Rockman and a hard place

δ

The phrase “that wasn’t supposed to happen yet” did nothing to reassure me. Neither did the fact that my best friend didn’t seem upset or surprised by what had just happened. If anything, he looked annoyed.

“Yet?!” I screeched. “You mean it was supposed to happen at some point?”

“Not for another couple of years.” Said as if that was going to make everything better.

I took a step toward him, not even aware that my hands were outstretched. “You knew about this?”

Theo lunged at me, grabbing my wrists and lowering my arms. “You may think you want to kill me,” he began.

“Not ‘think,’” I growled, “know.”

“Killing me is not going to get you answers. The Rockman-Bloom alliance must hold.” He searched my face intently.

I gave a tight nod and he released my wrists. “Are you even really my friend?”

He gave a derisive laugh. “Sophie, I’ve walked through Hell for you. I’m your best friend. Give a boy a chance to explain.”

I crossed my arms. “Fine. Go ahead.”

He shook his head. “Not here. We have to get you back inside school grounds.” Theo took a quick glance around and motioned for me to follow, running back through the woods to the fence.

“Why?” I questioned, trotting after him.

We could hear fire truck sirens approaching. They must have seen the smoke from the attacks. Small brush fires dotted the woods and my eyes were tearing up.

“The school is protected ground. The only place you’re truly safe.”

“You know this how?” I panted.

“Who do you think protected it?” he retorted, not even slowing.

“Fairies?” I muttered sarcastically, painfully dragging myself back over the fence.

“No such thing.”

“Typical. Sparkly winged beings, sorry. Fire throwing ghost, no problem,” I said in a slightly higher tone of voice than normal.

“Not a ghost. Though I can see how the flying might have confused …” He peered at me as I emitted a strangled laugh. “You’re acting hysterical. You’re in shock, right?”

You think? That was such an enormous “d’uh” after what I’d just experienced that I couldn’t even dignify it. I stood there, my mouth gaping open and closed like a fish as Theo nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, assessing me. “Definitely shock.”

I punched him. Hard. It may not have done anything for the shock but it felt good. I spun on my heel and continued through the back field to the school.

“If you’re gonna hear me out, you’ll have to keep an open mind,” he said, jogging after me.

“How could I possibly have to get more open after,” I waved my hand back toward the woods, “those things?”

“That’s only one small part of it.” He held the door open for me and we slipped inside through one of the many sets of heavy glass doors that led into the school.

“Fine. But I want Hannah.”

He looked at me, confused. “You sure?”

I shrugged. “Anything you have to tell me, you can say in front of her.”

You may be wondering why, given all I was about to hear, I would want Hannah to discover exactly how freaky I was. The answer was simple, boys and girls. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. It didn’t matter that I’d just seen fire fiends and seven-foot-tall lightning men. Or even that I’d shot green pyrotechnics from my hands. I still figured there had to be a rational, logical explanation for all this.

I wanted my best girlfriend there for moral support and to laugh this off when we saw it was all a big misunderstanding.

“You’re a goddess,” Theo said in a low voice, pulling me aside. He knew me well enough to figure out what I was thinking. “This isn’t a joke.”

I shook my head so hard, it hurt. “How does that make any sense? No. You can’t expect me to believe that everything I know about my entire life is wrong.”

“Explain what happened out there, then.” Theo gazed at me with a seriousness I’d never seen from him before. “I need you to believe this.”

It was Theo’s tone of voice more than anything else, even more than what I’d just seen and done, that forced me to consider wrapping my head around the reality of his words. And yet … “I can’t.”

I glimpsed Bethany down the corridor as we went hunting for Hannah. She threw me her best glower, which promised retaliation galore.

Huh. If this was real, having the wicked awesome powers of a Supreme Being could rock. I practically salivated at the thought of what I could do to Bethany. I aged her up in my head to horror movie proportions.

Hannah didn’t see why we were headed on a secret mission to the gym but she kept quiet until we got there and Theo had closed the doors.

Hannah made herself comfortable on the floor. “What’s with the hush hush?”

“I was in the forest,” I explained. “And then these
things
showed up to kill me. Except I’m fine. Which is seriously weird since I should be lacking on the living front. But what’s really freaking me out?”

“This drug trip you’re still on?” she asked.

“I managed to blow the boogeymen into a zillion fragments. One second, I’m scared. Pissed off. The next, I’m the supernova of doom. I’ve never even been good at sports.”

“Huh?” Hannah was understandably confused.

And then it hit me. “Ohmigod. I’m a death machine.” I’d just killed two creatures. Yeah, I’d squashed my share of spiders and mosquitos. But these were, okay, if not human, than human-esque. Ish. Did that make me a murderer? “Theo, I don’t like this game anymore.”

Theo sighed. “It was you or them. Feel sorry for them and it’ll be the last feeling you have.”

Now I was getting angry. “Then you should have prepared me. Not dumped it on me in a life or death situation, where I get my first kill and then am supposed to be cool with it all. You didn’t feel obliged to share until I almost took your head off with my destructo fun. What if I’d killed you?”

Hannah looked between us. “Why are you having a totally nonsensical argument?”

Theo paused, like he wasn’t sure where to begin. “My real name is Prometheus.”

“And I am Bond, James Bond,” Hannah replied in a deep tone of voice.

Theo’s reveal triggered a memory of a long-ago English lecture. Not to mention made sense of Cassie’s weird mutterings. “I’m Persephone, aren’t I?” This begged the question of how Cassie knew but I’d have to get to her later. “Goddess of Nature or something.”

“Spring,” Theo sighed. “Also, embodiment of earth’s fertility.”

“Explains her child bearing hips,” Hannah quipped. “Spare me the details on how she’s supposedly fertilizing the earth.”

“Saul,” Theo said to Hannah, using his nickname for her (Hannah Solo to Solo to Saul) “we’re not kidding.”

“Why don’t we take this from the top?” Hannah insisted in a firm voice. “You two can tell me the situation and I can decide how big a pair of creeps you’re being for playing a lame joke.”

“Our story starts back on Mt. Olympus sixteen years ago,” he began.

“Nice try,” Hannah interrupted. “I may only know Mythology 101 but those gods predated New Kids On The Block.”

“Obviously, gods have been around for millennia. Sophie’s predicament starts just over sixteen of your earth years ago.” He shook his head. “Suppose I better back up.”

Hannah frowned. “Suppose you better quit now. Seriously, you two. In what universe did you think I’d fall for this stupid story?”

Unbelievable sure. But stupid? “You don’t think I could be a goddess?”

“Less than ‘not at all.’”

“Let’s see you run,” Theo encouraged as if I was a Border Collie.

“Or I could blow Hannah up.”

“Hannah isn’t ready for advanced goddessing. Baby steps. Run.”

Hannah laughed in disbelief. “Set it to expert and go. I’m all eyes.”

“Watch and be amazed.” I may not have totally come to terms with this, but that didn’t mean Hannah got to doubt me.

I took off, positive I could now push the limits of speed.

Apparently not. I returned to my starting point under Theo’s disappointed gaze. “I didn’t think it was possible but you’re a worse runner than before. I’m not even sure that counted as a slow jog. Guess the goddess is diluted by human,” he said.

“Fun as this was, watching Soph jumping around like a constipated elephant, I’m outta here,” Hannah said, getting to her feet.

I stopped her from leaving. “You have a divorce lawyer for a dad and a psychologist for a mom. Your entire home life is all about everything that’s wrong with people. If you can believe some of those wackjobs’ problems, then you can stay here, be my supportive friend, and believe in exactly what’s wrong with me right now.” I looked around the room, desperate for some way to prove this to her. And, let’s face it, me. “Super strength. Let’s do that one.” I was pretty sure I’d ace any test on that subject.

Theo dragged Hannah across the gym in my determined wake.

I stopped in front of the chin-up bar, wrapped my hands around it and tried to pull myself up. I could barely lift myself off the ground. That couldn’t be right. I’d destroyed two supernatural creatures. I would not be defeated by my own body weight.

I narrowed my eyes at the chin-up bar. At that moment, it symbolized all the feelings of total uselessness I’d ever felt in gym class. I shot a viney rope out of each hand. I was dimly aware of Hannah gasping but I was more interested in wrapping the vines around the bar and squeezing the crap out of it.

I lifted the bar in the air, my ribbons of light spinning and encircling it. It started to tighten, shrivel, and wither. Then … poof. It was dust.

“Ta da,” I gloated. “‘Circle of life’ can bite me. I. Am. The. Lion. Queen.”

Theo didn’t look too pleased. I followed his gaze to see that Hannah had fainted.

Before I could figure out what to do for her, Theo “energetically patted” her across the face. Her eyes fluttered open and she glowered at him in indignation.

He shrugged. “You fainted.”

We helped her into a sitting position.

“Did you see what she did? Of course I fainted, you idiot!” She stared at me as if I had two heads.

I felt sick. Now that she knew, she'd be all creeped out and not want to be my friend. I didn’t want her thinking of me as a monster. “I’m not moving out. So tough.” I blurted.

“Uh, yeah. Are you going to be all Jekyll and Hyde now? Do I need to worry about being murdered in my sleep?”

“You’re staring at me with this weird look on your face,” I insisted.

She smacked my leg. Hard. “You just did this impossible thing that I, of all people, don’t believe is possible!” She smacked me again.

“‘When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth,’” Theo added gravely. “Sherlock Holmes,” he explained at our stares of bewilderment.

We both smacked him.

“She’s a goddess,” he said. “Deal with it. Both of you.”

I slid to the floor beside Hannah and lay my head on her shoulder.

“Start from the top,” she said quietly.

Theo sat down beside us. “Short version? There’s this ‘mine’s bigger than yours’ turf war going down between Zeus and Hades. Earth was supposed to stay Switzerland in it. Instead, it became the key battleground and humans suffered. Earthquakes, volcano eruptions, tsunamis, everything you people blame on natural disasters? Not always so natural. Mother Nature and her temper makes a great cover, though.”

“And I fit into this how?”

“You’re the key to stopping it. The savior of all humanity.”

“You’re kidding,” Hannah said. “No pressure.”

I gave a weak laugh. “And to think yesterday, all I had to worry about was Bethany and her yoga zombies.”

“How come she never knew this until now?” asked Hannah.

“Yeah. I don’t remember being Persephone.”

“That’s because you weren’t supposed to get your memory back in pieces. Upon your eighteenth birthday, the spell that blocked your knowledge of your true self would be undone and it’d all come rushing back. You’d know what to do. And how.” He glared at me. “And then that monkey baller Kai kissed you and wrecked everything. As usual.”

Whoa. “What does Kai have to do with this?”

“Hades figured that a good way to get back at Zeus was to kidnap his daughter Persephone a.k.a. our bundle of joy, Sophie. But he couldn’t risk coming up to Olympus to snatch you. His presence would have set off all kinds of alarms and made him vulnerable, so he sent his son.” Theo paused. “Kyrillos. Otherwise known as Kai.”

My jaw fell open. “You demon spawn liar,” I accused Theo. “Just protecting me from a player, were you?”

“I was,” he defended hotly. “You two had more ups and downs than a StairMaster.”

“Which I have no clue about because this is the first time you’ve ever bothered to tell me.”

Theo pushed his glasses up his nose. “You wouldn’t have believed me if I did.”

“Do you even wear glasses?” I spat out.

“You dirty little Hobbit!” Hannah exclaimed. “You smooched your cousin.”

I shuddered. “My cousin?” I thought I might throw up.

Theo had the good grace to look sheepish. “Human standards of familial taboos don’t apply to the gods. Even so, first cousins can legally marry.”

“In the backwoods of Alabama,” I groaned. “Just give me a banjo and teach me the ‘Deliverance’ theme now.” I slapped my knee. “Yee haw!”

“Astonishingly melodramatic. Even for you.” Hannah shook her head at me.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. “Fine. Let’s just stick with the facts, shall we? My uncle, Lord of Hell, wanted to kidnap me, probably kill me. Does that about sum things up?”

“Hades,” Theo corrected, “not Hell. And killing you would have been difficult and painful,” Theo assured me. “Immortality and all that.”

“Nice try. You can’t kill someone who’s immortal.” Hannah had raised a good point.

“You’re confusing immortal and unkillable. Immortal just means you won’t die given the natural scheme of things. Not that you can’t. And when Immortals kill other Immortals … They like to toy with them first. Break them.”

His eyes were bleak as he spoke in a dead voice. “Takes a long time to break an Immortal.”

I shot Hannah a confused look. I was missing something here.

Hannah was glowering. I’d seen that particular look of hers before. Usually when she refused to accept a situation. Numerous teachers had been the recipient of that glower.

Then she sighed and dropped her head, with a small shake. “Theo,” she prompted gently.

I whipped my head between the two of them.“What? Translate please?”

“If you hadn’t fallen asleep in class,” Hannah admonished.

“Yeah. Bad Sophie. What am I missing?”

“Theo—Prometheus gave mankind fire and pissed Zeus right off.”

“Your liver!” I remembered, shouting at Theo. “Zeus was so mad, he chained you to a rock and made a vulture come by to eat your liver every day.” Yikes. The boy knew exactly how long it took to be broken.

Hannah squeezed his hand. Guess she believed him now.

Theo blinked back to attention. “Persephone was immortal. You’re human. Doubt it transferred. My bet is you’ll reach super old age over full-on living forever.”

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