My Enemy, the Queen (3 page)

It could not continue, he told us. The people were weary of death and persecution. The whole country was ready to rise in revolt against the Queen and her Spanish adherents. However, when the news came that she was pregnant we were in despair. Her hopesGod be praised,said my fatherere soon proved to be without foundation. Poor sick Mary, she wanted a child so badly that she could delude herself into suffering all the signs of pregnancy when she was barren.

But we, who shamelessly longed for her death, had little sympathy to spare for her.

I remember well the misty November day when the messenger came with the news. It was the day we had been waiting for.

I was seventeen years old then, and I had never before seen my father so excited.

In the hall he cried: ejoice in this day. Queen Mary is dead. Elizabeth is proclaimed Queen of England by will of the people. Long live our Queen Elizabeth.

We knelt and gave thanks to God. Then we hastened to make our preparations for our return.

Royal Scandal

Much suspectedf me,

Nothing proved can be,

Quoth Elizabeth, prisoner.

Scratched with a diamond on a

pane of glass in a window at

Woodstock by Elizabeth before

she became Queen.

We arrived back in time to see her coronation. What a day that was with the people rejoicing and telling themselves that good times lay ahead. The smell of smoke from the Smithfield Fires still seemed to cling to the air but that only added to the jubilation. Bloody Mary was dead and Elizabeth the Good ruled our land.

I saw her leave for the Tower at two of the afternoon of that January day; she was dressed in the royal robes of a queen and she looked the part in her chariot, which was covered with crimson velvet over which was a canopy borne by her knights, one of whom was Sir John Perrot, a man of mighty girth who claimed to be the illegitimate son of Henry VIII and therefore brother to the Queen.

I could not take my eyes from her in her crimson velvet robe, ermine cape and cap to match her robe under which her fair hair showed, glinting red in the sparkling frosty air. Her tawny eyes were bright and eager, her complexion dazzlingly fair. I thought she was beautiful in that moment. She was all that our mother had told us. She was magnificent.

She was over medium height and very slender, which made her seem younger than she actually was. She was twenty-five at this time, and to a girl of seventeen that seemed quite old. I noticed her hands, for she called attention to them by displaying them as much as possible. They were white, elegant with long tapering fingers. Her face was oval and longish; her brows so fair that they were scarcely perceptible; her eyes were piercing golden yellow, but often later I thought they sometimes seemed quite dark. She was a little shortsighted and often when she was endeavoring to see she gave the impression of penetrating into the minds of those about her, which made them very uneasy. There was a quality about her which even thenoung as I was and on such an occasion was able to perceive, and it thrilled me to watch her.

Then my attention was caught and held by someone else as arresting as she was. This was Robert Dudley, her Master of Horse, who rode with her. I had never seen such a man. He was as outstanding in that assembly as the Queen herself. In the first place he was very tall and broad-shouldered and possessed one of the handsomest faces I had ever seen. He was stately, noble, and his dignity matched that of the Queen. There was nothing haughty about his expression; it was grave, and he had an air of extreme but quiet confidence.

My eager looks went from him to the young Queen and then back again.

I noticed that the Queen paused to speak to the most humble people, smiling and giving them her attention, brief as it must be. I learned in time that it was her policy never to offend the people. Her courtiers often felt the weight of her displeasure but to the common people she was always the benevolent Queen. When they cried: od save Your Grace!she answered: od save you all!reminding them that she was no less conscious of their well-being than they were of hers. Nosegays were offered to her and however humble the giver she took them as graciously as though they were rare gifts. It was said that one beggar gave her a branch of rosemary at the Fleet Bridge, and it was still in her carriage when she came to Westminster.

We rode with the processionfter all, were we not her kinsfolk?o we saw the pageants of Cornhill and the Chepe, which was gay with banners and streamers which fluttered from every window.

The next day we were present at her coronation and saw her walk into the Abbey on the purple cloth which had been spread for her.

I was too bemused to pay much attention to the ceremony, but I thought she was beautiful when she was crowned first in the heavy crown of St. Edward and afterwards in the smaller one of pearls and diamonds. The pipes, the drums and the trumpet sounded as Elizabeth was crowned Queen of England.

ife will be different for us now,said my father. And how right he was.

It was not long before the Queen sent for him. He was given an audience and came back to us full of enthusiasm and hope.

he is wonderful,he told us. he is all that a Queen should be. The people adore her and she is full of goodwill towards them. I thank God that he has preserved me to serve such a Queen, and so will I with my life.

She admitted him to her Council and intimated that she wished her good cousin, Catheriney mothero become a lady of her Privy Chamber.

We girls were jubilant. This would mean that we would go to Court at last. All those hours of musical tuitionadrigals, lute and harpsichordll the dancing, bowing and curtsying, everything we had endured that we might comport ourselves with grace, had been worthwhile. We chattered interminably; we lay awake at night discussing our future, for we could not sleep, so excited were we. I might have had some premonition that I was going to my destiny, so deeply did this wild exultation possess me.

The Queen expressed a desire to see usot en bloc but singly.

here will be places for you all,my mother told us excitedly. nd indeed you will have opportunities.

pportunitiesmeant good marriages and that was a matter which had deeply concerned our parents during our exile.

The day arrived when it was my turn to be presented to Her Majesty. Vividly I remember to this day every detail of the gown I wore. It was of deep blue silk, bombasted, and with a bell-shaped skirt and slashed sleeves. The bodice was tightly fitting and my mother gave me a girdle, which she greatly prized, to wear about my waist. It was set with small precious stones of varying colors and she told me it would bring me luck. Soon afterwards, I decided that it had. I had wanted to have my hair uncovered for, to tell the truth, I was extremely proud of itut my mother said that one of the new French hoods would be more suitable. I was a little rebellious about this, for the veil which flowed out behind concealed my hair; but I had to give way this once, for my mother was very nervous as to the effect I might have on the Queen, and she stressed the point that if I displeased her I could spoil not only my own chances but those of the others as well.

What struck me most forcibly at the first meeting was her aura of sovereignty, and at that momentlthough neither of us knew it thenur lives became entwined. She was to play a more important part in my life than anyone elsexcept perhaps Robert nd my role in hers, in spite of all the momentous events of her reign, was not insignificant.

No doubt I was a little naive at the time in spite of my attempts at worldliness. The German years had been stultifying but I was to realize at once that there was in her a quality which I had never seen in any other person. Her twenty-five years, I knew, had been filled with terrifying experiences, enough to break most people forever. She had come near to death and indeed lived under its shadow, as prisoner in the Tower of London, with the ax again and again ready to fall on that fragile neck. She had not been quite three years old when her mother had gone to her execution. Was she old enough to have remembered that? There was something about those big tawny eyes to suggest that she did and that she would learn quickly and remember what she had learned. She was notoriously precocious scholar in the nursery. Oh yes, she remembered! Perhaps that was why though Death had followed closely behind her through those precarious years it had never succeeded in catching up with her. She was regalo briefly a Queennd yet to be one minute in her company was to know that she wore her royalty effortlessly, as though she had been preparing for it all her lifehich perhaps she had. She was very slender, straight-backed, and her fair skin had been inherited from her father. Her elegant mother had been dark-haired, olive-skinned. I, not Elizabeth, had inherited those dark eyes, which were also said to be like those of my grandmother Mary Boleyn, but my hairbundant and curlyas the color of pale honey. It would be foolish to deny that this combination was very attractive, and I had quickly realized this. From what I had seen of Boleyn portraits Elizabeth had inherited nothing from her mother, except perhaps that indefinable brilliance, which I was sure her mother must have possessed to have so bewitched the King that he rid himself of his royal Spanish wife and broke with Rome itself for her sake.

Elizabeth hair was like a golden halo with hints of red in it. I had heard that her father possessed a magnetism which drew people to him in spite of his cruelty, and she had that too; but in her case it was tempered with a feminine power to bewitch which must have come through her mother.

I felt in those first moments that she was all that I had pictured her to be and I immediately sensed that she had taken a fancy to me. My unusual coloring and my vivacity had meant that I had always been accepted as the beauty of our family and my good looks had attracted the Queen.

ou have a good deal of your grandmother in you,my mother had once said. ou will have to guard against your nature.

I knew what she meant. Men would find me attractive, as they had Mary Boleyn, and I should have to guard against granting favors where they could bring me no good. It was a prospect which delighted me and was one of the reasons why I was so pleased to have come to Court.

The Queen was seated on a large carved chair which was like a throne and my mother led me to her.

our Majesty, my daughter Letitia. We call her Lettice in the family.

I curtsied, keeping my eyes lowered as I had been told I must, conveying that I dared not raise them because of the dazzling brilliance of royalty.

hen so shall I call her,said the Queen. ettice, stand up and come closer so that I can see you better.

Shortsightedness made her pupils seem very large. I was amazed by the delicate texture and whiteness of her skin; her light brows and lashes gave her a certain look of surprise.

hy, Cat,she said to my mother, for it was a habit of hers to give people nicknames and my mother being Catherine it was easy to see why she called her Cat, ou have a pretty daughter here.

In those days my good looks pleased her. She was always susceptible to good looksarticularly in men, of course, but she did like handsome women too until the men she liked admired them also!

hank you, Your Majesty.

The Queen laughed. oue a fertile wife, Cousin,she said. even sons and four daughters, is it? I like to see large families. And, Lettice, give me your hand. Wee cousins, you know. How like you England now you have returned to it?

ngland is a beautiful place since Your Majesty became its Queen.

a!she laughed. see you bring her up in the right fashion. That Francis, Il swear.

rancis was always watchful of what was happening to his sons and daughters while we were away from home,said my mother. hen Your Majesty was in danger he was in despair so indeed were we all.

She nodded gravely. ell, now you are home and life should go well for you. Youl have to find husbands for your girls, Cat. If they are all as handsome as Lettice that should not be difficult.

t is such a joy to be home, Madam,said my mother. verily believe that neither I nor Francis can give thought to anything but that for a while.

e shall see what can be done,said the Queen, her eyes on me. our Lettice has not much to say for herself,she commented.

had believed I must wait for Your Majesty permission to speak,I said quickly.

o you can speak up, then. I glad of that. I could never abide those who cannot give an account of themselves. A plausible rogue is more amusing than a silent saint. So what will you tell me of yourself?

will say that I share my parentsdelight in being here and seeing my royal kinswoman where we have always fervently believed she belonged.

ell spoken. I can see that you have after all taught her to use her tongue, Cousin.

hat is something I taught myself, Madam,I retorted quickly.

My mother looked alarmed at my temerity, but the Queen lips twitched in a manner which showed she was not displeased.

hat else did you teach yourself?asked the Queen.

o listen when I was incapable of taking part in discussion; and to throw myself into the center of it when I could.

The Queen laughed. hen you have learned much wisdom. You will have need of it when you come to Court. Many prate but a few ever learn the art of listening and those who do are the wise men and women. And you but seventeen, is it? have learned this already. Come and sit near me. I would talk with you for a while.

My mother was looking well pleased and at the same time flashing a warning glance at me, telling me not to let this initial success go to my head. She was right. I could be impulsive, and instinct warned me that the Queen could be as suddenly displeased as pleased.

My opportunity to walk on this dangerous ground was denied me, for at that moment the door opened unceremoniously and a man came into the room. My mother looked startled and I realized that he must have broken some strict rule of royal etiquette thus to burst in unannounced.

He was different from any man I had seen. There was an indefinable quality about him which was immediately apparent. To say that he was handsomehich he undoubtedly wasonveys little. There are many handsome men but I have never found one who was possessed of his outstanding quality. I had seen him before at the coronation. It may be thought that it was love which made me see Robert Dudley thus; it may be that he bemused and bewitched me as he did so many womenven Elizabeth herselfut I did not always love him, and when I look far back and remember what happened in our last days together I shudder even now. Loving or hating Robert Dudley, one would have to admit that charismatic quality. Charism is defined as a free gift of grace and I can think of nothing better with which to describe him. He was born with that free gift of grace, and he knew it well.