My Enemy, the Queen (5 page)

Her eyes were slightly veiled. Yes, I thought, it was so, my Queen. And if they had wanted a Catholic queen would you have obliged? I had no doubt in my mind as to the answer to that. Her religion sat lightly on her; perhaps it was as well; the late Queen had been so heavily weighed down by hers that it had ruined her good name with her people and made them rejoice in her death.

queen must rule through the will of the people,said Elizabeth. raise God, it is a truth which is clear to me. When my sister was near to death, the road to Hatfield was crowded with those who would come to pay homage to Elizabeth, whose name, but a short while before, few of them dared mention. But Robert had always been for me, and it was meet and fitting that he should be the first to come to me. He stood before me, freshly arrived from France. He would have been with me before, he told me, but by so doing he would have put me in danger. And he brought gold with him a token that should it be necessary to fight for my rights he would be beside me and would raise money to support me aye, and he would have done so.

is loyalty did him credit,I said, and added slyly: nd brought him much good. Your Majesty Master of Horse, no less.

e has a way with horses, Lettice.

nd with women, Your Majesty.

I had gone too far. I realized that at once and a shiver ran through me. | hy say you that?she demanded.

man of such excellent parts, of such fine countenance and figure must surely enchant all that is female, Madam, walk they on two or four legs.

She was suspicious and although she allowed my comment to pass, my face was slapped none too gently a short while later because, she said, I handled one of her gowns clumsily. But I knew it was not for the gown but for Robert Dudley. Those beautifully shaped hands could deliver a sturdy blow, particularly when some jeweled ring cut into the skin. A gentle reminder that it would be unwise to displease the Queen.

I noticed that on the next occasion when Robert was present she watched him closelynd me. We did not look at each other and I think she was satisfied.

Robert was completely unaware of me in those days. He was firmly bent on one ambition from which nothing could make him swerve. At that time the determination to marry the Queen occupied him day and night.

I often wondered about his poor wife in the country and what she thought about the rumors. The fact that he never brought her to Court must have aroused her suspicion. I thought what fun it would be to bring her there. I imagined myself calling on Lady Amy and suggesting that she accompany me back to Court. I liked to picture myself presenting her. our Majesty, my good friend, Lady Dudley. You have shown such favor to my lord that passing Cumnor Place in Berkshire and meeting the lady, I was sure you would wish to give Lord Robert the pleasure of his wife company.By which I betray that mischievous streak in my naturelso my annoyance because I, Lettice Knollys, so much more attractive than Elizabeth Tudor, was ignoredot even seen at ally the most handsome man at Court; and all because she possessed a crown and I had nothing but myself.

I would, of course, never have dared to bring Lady Dudley to Court. There would be more than a sharp slap on the cheek if I did. I could see myself returning to Rotherfield Greys never to emerge again.

I was amused when an old woman was arrested for having slandered the Queen. It amazed me that a woman of no fixed address who spent her life tramping the countryside, doing odd jobs for which she could get food and lodging, should think she knew more of what happened in the Queen bedchamber than those of us who were in attendance on her.

However, it seemed that old Mother Dowe, while doing some mending for a lady, had heard that lady say that Lord Robert had given the Queen a petticoat for a gift. Later Mother Dowe offered the information that it was not a petticoat which Lord Robert had given the Queen, but a child.

If the story had been clearly conjecture and utterly incredible, there would have been no need to take any notice of a mad old woman; but in view of the Queen attitude towards Robert and his towards her, and the fact that they were undoubtedly often in each other company unattended, the story could have been believed. Thus the old woman was arrested and the news of that arrest spread through the country at great speed.

Elizabeth showed her growing skill by dismissing the woman as mad and allowing her to go about her business, thus earning her undying gratitude, for the poor creature must have anticipated cruel death for spreading such rumors; and very soon the case of Mother Dowe was forgotten.

I often wonder whether it had some effect on the Queen attitude to what happened soon after.

It was inevitable that, both at home and abroad, there should be speculation about her marriage. The country needed an heir; the recent troubles and dissensions which had beset us had been due to uncertainty about the succession. The Queen ministers desired that she should choose a husband without delay and give the country what it wanted. She was not yet even middle-aged, neither was she so very young, though none would dare remind her of this.

Philip of Spain was making overtures. I heard her and Robert laughing about it because she had learned that the King had said that if he were persuaded to the match he would insist on Elizabeth becoming a Catholic and he could not remain with her for long even if their brief encounter did not leave her pregnant. He could have said nothing more calculated to arouse her indignation. Become a Catholic!hen one of the main reasons for her popularity was her professed Protestantism and the cessation of the Smithfield Fires. And for any future husband to mention the fact that he wanted to escape from her as soon as possible was enough to bring about her haughty refusal.

But of course her ministers were eager for her to marry, and it seemed that, had it not been for the fact that Lord Robert was already married, some of them would have agreed to her union with him. There was a great deal of envy directed against Robert. My long life, much of which has been lived among ambitious people, leads me to the belief that envy is more prevalent than any other emotion and certainly the deadliest of the seven sins. Robert had the Queen favor to such an extent that she could not hide her fondness for him and showered honors on him; and those who would see that favor diminished found more suitable prospective husbands for her. The nephew of Philip of Spainhe Archduke Charlesas one of these suitors. The Duke of Saxony was another; then Prince Charles of Sweden was brought in. It was a case of the more the merrier as far as the Queen was concerned, and she delighted in teasing Robert by pretending to consider them, but she did not deceive many into thinking that she would accept any one of them. The prospect of marriage always excited herven when she was much olderut her attitude to it forever remained a mystery. Somewhere at the back of her mind she greatly feared it, yet, at times, to consider it fascinated her as nothing else did. None of us ever understood that aspect of her character, which intensified as the years passed. At this time we were all unaware of it and everyone believed that she would marry sooner or later and that she would have taken one of her royal suitors if it had not been for Robert.

But Robert was there, always at her side, her Sweet Robin, her Eyes, her Master of Horse.

From Scotland came another offer. This time from the Earl of Arran but this was summarily dismissed by the Queen.

In the apartments of the Queen women we used to whisper together. We speculated and I was often warned because of my boldness.

oul overstep the mark one day, Lettice Knollys,I was told. hen the Queen will send you packingoleyn cousin though you may be.

I used to shiver at the thought of being sent back in disgrace to the boredom of Rotherfield Greys. I already had several admirers. Cecilia was sure I should have an offer of marriage before long, but I did not want to marry yet. I wanted time to make the right choice. I longed for a lover, although I was far too astute to take one before marriage. I had heard stories of girls who became pregnant and were dismissed from Court and married off to some country squire and doomed to spend the rest of their lives in the dullness of the country and endure their acquired husband reproaches for their light behavior and the great good he had done them by marrying them. So I enjoyed my flirtations, going so far and no farther, and exchanging accounts of adventures with girls of a like nature.

I used to let myself dream that Lord Robert looked my way and I wondered what would happen if he did. I could not regard him as a suitor because he already had a wife, and if he had not, doubtless he would have been the Queen husband by this time. But there was no harm in allowing myself to imagine that he came courting me and how, in spite of the Queen, we met and laughed together because she was not the one he wanted. Wild fanciesremonitions, I thought lateror at that time they were but fancies. Robert would never allow his gaze to stray from the Queen.

I remember one occasion when she was in a thoughtful mood. Her temper had been none too good because she had heard that Philip of Spain was to marry Elizabeth of Valois, daughter of Henri Deux of France, and although she did not want a suitor she did not like anyone else to have him.

he a Catholic already,she commented, o hel not have to bother about that. And as she is of little importance she can leave her country and go to Spain. The poor thing won have to worry about being left, pregnant or otherwise.

our Majesty knew well how to deal with such ungallant conduct,I said soothingly.

She snorted. She had some very unfeminine habits sometimes. She looked at me quizzically. wish him joy of her and her of himhough I fear shel get little. What disturbs me is the alliance between two of my enemies.

ince Your Majesty came to the throne your people have ceased to fear their enemies abroad.

hen more fool they!she snapped. hilip is a powerful man and England must always be wary of him. As for France it has a new king now and a new queen two sad little people, I believe, though one of them is my own Scottish kinswoman of whose beauty poets prate.

s they do of Your Majesty.

She bowed her head but her eyes were fierce. he dares call herself Queen of Englandhat Scottish girl, who spends her time dancing and urging poets to write odes to her. They say her charm and beauty are unsurpassed.

he is the Queen, Madam.

The fierce eyes were on me. I had slipped. If one queen beauty was measured by her royalty, what of another?

o you think that is why they praise her, then?

I called in the helpful and anonymous hey.hey say, Madam, that Mary Stuart is light in her fancies and surrounds herself with lovers who curry favor by writing odes to her beauty.I was crafty. I must extricate myself from her displeasure. hey say, Madam, that she is by no means as beautiful as hearsay would have us believe. She is over tall, ungainly and suffers from spots.

s that so, then?

I breathed more freely and tried to remember anything derogatory I had heard against the Queen of France and Scotland, and I could only recall praise.

So I said: hey say that Lord Robert wife is sick of a fatal disease and that she cannot last the year.

She closed her eyes and I was not sure whether I dared go on. hey say!They say!she burst out suddenly. ho says?

She turned on me sharply and nipped my arm. I could have cried out with the pain, for those beautiful pointed fingers were capable of very sharp nips.

but repeat gossip, Madam, because I think it may amuse Your Majesty.

would hear what is said.

o I thought.

nd what else say They of Lord Robert wife?

hat she lives quietly in the country and that she is unworthy of him and that it was ill luck that he should have married when he was but a boy.

She sat back nodding, and there was a smile about her lips.

It was not long after that when I heard that Lord Robert wife was dead. She had been discovered at the bottom of a staircase at Cumnor Place with her neck broken.

The Court was agog. None dared talk of it in the presence of the Queen, but they could scarcely wait to do so out of her sight and hearing.

What had happened to Amy Dudley? Had she committed suicide? Was it an accident? Or had she been murdered?

In view of all the rumors which had persisted through the last months, in view of the fact that the Queen and Robert Dudley behaved like lovers, and Robert seemed to have a conviction that soon he would marry the Queen, the last suggestion did not seem an impossibility.

We whispered about it and forgot to watch our words. My parents sent for me and lectured me severely on the need for the utmost discretion. I could see that my father was worried.

his could rob Elizabeth of her throne,I heard him tell my mother. Certainly he was worried, for the Knollys fortunes were as ever wrapped up in those of our royal kinswoman.

The rumors grew more and more unpleasant. I heard that the Spanish Ambassador had written to his master that the Queen had told him Lady Dudley was dead several days before she was found dead at the bottom of the stairs. This was completely damning, but I could hardly accept it as truth. If Elizabeth and Robert were planning to have Amy murdered, Elizabeth would never have told the Spanish ambassador that she was dead before she was. De Quadra was wily; it was in his country interest to discredit the Queen. This was what he was trying to do. Being aware of the potent masculinity of Robert Dudley, I could imagine a woman going to great lengths to get him. I put myself in Elizabeth position and asked myself: Would I? And I could well picture our plotting together in the heat of our passion.

We all waited tensely for what would happen next.

I could not believe that the Queen would ever put her crown in jeopardy for any man, and that if Amy had been murdered, she would have allowed herself to become involved. Of course she was capable of indiscretion. One only had to remember the case of Thomas Seymour when she had allowed herself to be led into a very dangerous state of affairs. Ah, but the crown was not hers at that time and she had not then begun that passionate devotion to it.