My Date From Hell (8 page)

I fumbled, straightened, and turned to stare at Festos with a “WTF?” look because that had so been deliberate.

I took a hurried step back at the look of death he sent me. “Did I miss something?”

“He kissed you?” he asked, coldly.

“Yeah. That’s what got me in this mess? Magical kiss that awakens the goddess but sends serious interference with the memory spell?”

“Oh. You mean Kyrillos,” Festos said, relaxing. “What did you think, getting involved with him? He’s a douche.”

I blinked, startled. “Come again?”

“He’s been nailing everything in sight for years. Ever since he broke up with you. You know. When you were still Persephone 1.0.”

I shook my head, carefully unhooking myself. “Got your facts very wrong,
honeybunch
. I broke up with Kai. Couple months ago. On behalf of my Persephone self. He most certainly has never dumped me.”

I must have sounded less than positive about that fact because Festos singsonged, “But you don’t re-
mem
-ber.”

I ignored the taunt. “He never mentioned a break up. Though he never
not
mentioned a break up either. It’s highly complicated.”

“Yawn with two ‘n’s. Tuning out,” Festos said, shutting down the program.

“Who were
you
talking about, then?” I asked.

He actually blushed.

“That means it is all
kinds
of juicy.” I thought about it. There were very few guys in my life. So if he didn’t mean Zeus or Kai …

“Theo?” I squealed.

“Prometheus,” he corrected, blushing furiously.

“You have a crush on Theo. Prometheus. Why haven’t you made a move on him?”

His embarrassed look was replaced by an angry scowl. “Yeah, right.” He flicked his hand toward his lame foot in a “look at it” gesture. “I get all the hot deities this way.”

“I don’t think it’s the foot so much as the being so bitchy you could choke on it,” I pointed out sweetly. I bopped over to him and tapped his monitor. “Let’s find Theo. He’ll be online.”

Festos shook his head violently. “No! You think you and Kyrillos are complicated? That’s nothing on Prometheus and me.”

“Why?”

“You know how he was chained to a rock for giving mankind fire?”

I shuddered. “Yeah. The whole having his liver eaten by an eagle. Opposite of funtime …” Something dawned on me. “Whoa! You made the chain?”

Festos looked away sheepishly. “And chained him up. Both, as I pointed out many, many times, subcontracting under duress from Zeus. A fact which Prometheus refuses to take into account.
Absolument
rebuffed all attempts at a second date.”

“Honey, that’s effed up.”

“Five ways to Sunday,” he agreed.

“But nothing we can’t overcome.” I headed toward the kitchen and rooted through a couple of cupboards before finding a glass. “My best friend deserves to be happy, and if the depth of your blush is relative to the amount of your crush, all signs point to good thing. The guys at school have certainly never done anything for him. So let’s figure this out. Get it?”

“Got it,” he agreed.

“Good.” I poured myself some cold tap water, which I knocked back with only the teensiest of hesitations. No. Couldn’t let Zeus and his preferred method of drugging ruin basic hydration for me. “But first you gotta run that dance program again. It didn’t bring back anything.”

I washed the glass out and set it on the counter. “Or better yet, maybe we could just find a nice dark room with a comfy couch to lay down on. Someone could wave a watch over me or do a little magic thingamajig and we’ll release the memories that way. ‘Cause I’m telling you, that dancing was exhausting.”

Festos looked around, then beckoned me close.

“Why so cloak and dagger?” I asked, coming toward him.

He held up a finger, indicating I should wait, and then tapped a key on his keyboard. Greek folk music began to play from invisible inset speakers. Loudly. I guess to cover whatever top secret bomb he was about to drop.

“That music is gonna lose you your hipster decoder ring,” I said.

Festos grinned. “Exactly. No one wants to listen to this stuff.”

“Because it’s bad. Also, there’s the whole feeling like you gotta put on a toga to partake.”

I got his “you’re clearly an idiot” look again. “That’s Romans. Greeks wore Chitons. And no Greek has worn those in about two thousand years. A woman might wear an embroidered kontogouni but
—
”

I cut him off. “Theo is going to love you.” They could be Greek cultural police together.

“Here’s the thing,” he continued in a low voice, “the reason we’re trying a more scientific-based solution to your problem is that the witch who cast your spell is M.I.A.”

“I got that sense from Theo. Don’t need the bad music and the hush hush.”

“Yeah,” Festos said, “we do. You know that fact and I know that fact because of my vested interest in Prometheus’ well-being. But Zeus and Hades believe she’s is in hiding and that only Prometheus knows her whereabouts. So a little just-in-case paranoia is called for here.”

“Fair enough. But can’t we find someone else?”

Festos looked at me like I was slow. “There is no one else who can undo a magic spell. Which means that you, honeybunch, are screwed.”

Seven

“As if,” I scoffed. “There’s got to be someone who hates Zeus and can do magic. Even I’ve got my ribbons of death. Stranglers. Dusters. No, that sounds like a housecoat.”

“Ignoring the fact that your power name is pathetic, I preach the truth. Innate abilities are different from magic. None of us gods are turning princes into toads. Very few cast magic as seen on TV. Magic takes a toll. On the giver and the receiver.”

I thought about it. “Yeah. Delphyne did magic and she was certifiable.”

“Exactly. And then undoing a magic spell? There are a couple ways. You either have to find the person who did it to you in the first place and get them to undo it. Or option deux, use beings capable of just that. Undoing complex magic spells. It takes years of specialized training. Didn’t have much call for them, so the few that even existed are dead now.”

“And you can’t just teach someone?”

“It’s not like there’s an online tutorial for that level of skill. Besides, there are rules around this kind of thing. Procedures.” He looked at me sternly.

“Pierce said he could do it.”

Festos looked doubtful. “I can’t see how. He hasn’t taken the seminars.”

“Geez. Well. We wouldn’t want someone who hadn’t taken a seminar to practice on me.” I sounded vaguely hysterical.

Festos stood up and smacked me across the face. “Snap out of it!”

I raised a hand to my sore jaw and did a double-take. “Did you just
Moonstruck
me? I love that movie.”

He grinned in delight and turned off the annoying Greek soundtrack. “Yes, Cher, get over yourself and lose the hysteria.”

“Vague hysteria. What else am I failing to remember that could be important?”

Festos raised his hand and waved it around energetically as I began to pace. “Ooh. I know. How about whoever it was that tried to kill Persephone sixteen years ago?” he suggested. He lowered himself back into his chair, grabbing his cane before it fell over.

I nodded vigorously. “Exactly like that. I won’t even recognize them if I run into them, because
I
don’t remember! Like Kai and that knife trick he did before killing Delphyne? I saw someone else do that when I lay there bleeding out as Persephone. But would I remember who? No!”

I ran out of steam and looked at Festos, who watched me expectantly.

“I just remembered something, didn’t I?” I asked.

“Bing! We have a winner,” he mocked, adjusting his fedora for maximum rakishness.

“Whoever tried to kill me as Persephone did some weird move with a knife as they stood over my body.”

Festos twirled his finger to indicate I should keep going.

“And Kai did that same move back in the cave before he cut off Delphyne’s head.”

Festos stared at me expectantly.

I scrunched up my face in dismay at the logical conclusion. “Kai might have been the one who tried to kill me when I was Persephone.”

“Waa waa waa waaaaa …” He imitated a sad trombone.

Of the many things I had or ever would believe Kai capable of, murdering Persephone was not one of them. I found it really hard to imagine.

Festos looked worried. “Are you going to want to do the girl thing now? I don’t do that. Not unless alcohol and Adele is involved and you don’t look legal, which means ice cream and sharing, so I’m out.”

“Thanks for the compassion.” I thought about the whole undoing of magic for a moment. “Do you know who Bethany is? She’s become really popular
—
”

“And gorgeous,” Festos added.

I shot him a look.

“I’m gay. Not blind. The camera
melts
ten pounds off that girl. Very impressive.”

Ignoring that. “It’s magic. Bethany is what she is because of a tattoo, even though the dragon who gave it to her is dead. But what if I blasted it off? Would that work?”

He shrugged. “In that case, it might. Pretty low level of power involved in the tattoo spell. Basic glamour and compulsion yadda yadda. ‘Course you also might kill her.”

I mock pouted. “And wouldn’t that be a tragedy.”

Festos laughed.

“I tried to blast my memory spell out,” I blurted.

His laughter quickly turned to a wince.

“Yeah.”

Festos jabbed me in the gut with the tip of his cane. “Don’t do that again.”

I rubbed just above my belly button where he’d nailed me. “Then it’s up to your machine.” I slung an arm around him. “Fire this baby up again and let’s see what else I can remember.”

But in the end, despite running the machine several more times, I had nothing.

“Again,” I panted.

Festos shook his head. “You look wan. And not as in Obi.”

“Okay, but there’s this one section. I’ve almost nailed it.” If I couldn’t lift the memory spell, at least I wanted to get through the damn sequence.

“No, you haven’t. And even if some miracle of rhythm occurred and you did, it still wouldn’t help you remember.” Festos shook his head. “Those puppies are buried in you deep.”

Looked like I was going to have to go with Pierce and his dubious Plan B. I really hoped the pain wasn’t a blinding fourteen. My stomach knotted up at the infinite torturous possibilities and I grasped the bar behind the dance platform as any adrenaline I’d been coasting on evaporated and my legs buckled.

It really would be nice to have just one calm day instead of the never ending wild ride that my life had become.

Festos stopped the machine, balanced himself on his cane, then with one hand, ripped the wires off my head and slung me over his shoulder like I weighed nothing. Impressive, especially since for a god, he was remarkably human-sized. Moved crazy fast too, given his foot.

He carried me over to the lounge area and dumped me on a low sofa.

I lay there, feeling the burn in my legs as I traced my fingers over the myriad of buttons on the red leather couch.

“I’m sure whatever Pierce has in mind will work great,” Festos said, still sounding doubtful but at least trying to be reassuring. “You’ll remember all the important details and save the world.”

Except I still needed to find Kai for that part. “Maybe I’m just being really stupid about Kai,” I said, staring up at the hip, silver, pressed tin ceiling tiles. “Like ‘girl thinks stalker is nice guy then ends up as a corpse on news at eleven’ stupid. But I don’t believe he tried to kill Persephone. He loved her.”

“That he did. Wow, gotta suck knowing if he does love you, it’s ‘cause he has to. And if he doesn’t, then bye bye humans.” Festos pulled a “yikes” face.

“You can shut up at any time.”

Festos turned his head to look at me. “So, why isn’t he here wooing you?”

I sighed. “I don’t know. Last time I saw him he was fighting a gajillion minions.”

He shook his head. “There’ve been no rumblings about Kyrillos being dead.”

I exhaled hard. So relieved. “Then why hasn’t he come back? Gawd, listen to me. Stupid.”

Festos lay down beside me. “Yeah, but more hormone stupid than inbred stupid,” he clarified.

I elbowed him in the ribs. “I like you. I’ll make sure Theo likes you, too.”

“Sister, if you can do that …” he paused.

“What?” I prompted. “You’ll be my slave for life?”

He propped his hands behind his head, forcing me to scrunch sideways. “I was thinking more I’d speak of you fondly to people.”

“I’ll take that deal. I could do with more fond wishers in my life.” I really could.

I stared down at our feet. “Why aren’t you taller?”

Festos looked pointedly away.

I propped myself on one elbow. “Spill or I tickle.”

He made a rude gesture at me then said “Prometheus. As long as he’s in human form, I want to stay at a more compatible height. In case I run into him.”

“And by ‘run into’ you mean hole up in this Seattle warehouse waiting for him to come find you?”

“No. I like Seattle. That part has nothing to do with him. Although, yes, he could have brought you here and asked for the favor in person. That’s just basic etiquette.”

“Festos looooves Prometheus.” I made a few kissy noises for good measure and then asked “Can you get us food?” I could tell the switch in topics had thrown him. “Sorry. But when the hanger comes on, this girl has to feed. Angry hunger,” I clarified at his look. I pursed my lips with a frown. “Or is it hungry anger? Either way, I expended a ton of energy getting out of Olympus and I haven’t made up the calories yet. Plus you made me dance.”

Festos hoisted himself up. “Heard your dad went all Vader on you.” He scrounged in his kitchen.

“Yeah, a heartwarming reunion.”

After a few minutes he came back with plates loaded high with hummus, baby carrots, and spanakopita, this amazing cheese pie in a flaky phyllo pastry which probably had a zillion calories. “All that dancing I did has to be good for about four of them,” I explained as I double-fisted the treats.

“Or you were raised by wolves. Manners much? I’ll say one thing,” he continued, “whoever cast this memory spell was good.”

I made sure to swallow before speaking. “Big deal. She cast a memory spell on one person. The dragon did that to our entire school. Made them forget two students and one of our teachers.”

“Child’s play. That’s just a big blanket spell. Doesn’t matter if it was sloppy. But this? She had to suppress your entire true personality.”

“Part of my true personality. Sophie does very much exist.”

“Fine. Your other true one, Jekyll. If she hadn’t done it correctly? Imagine spending your whole life with this little niggling feeling that something wasn’t right. That you were forgetting something.”

“Yikes. Crazy making.”

“Exactly.” He bit into a carrot. “It’s delicate, precise work. High level. Which is why you better hope Pierce knows what he’s doing, otherwise, you could end up even more messed up than you are already. Memory-wise,” he clarified, with a grin that made it clear that’s not what he meant at all.

It was a risk I’d have to take. I had two months till the spring equinox and Zeus and Hades had to be stopped.

Thus, I’d help Pierce stop Bethany so that he could help me save her.

How insane was that?

Time to head back. I hugged Festos goodbye. “Thanks for trying, Fee. Come see me soon.”

“Baby steps. Feed Prometheus the idea. Give him time to adjust. Then I’ll come.” He dipped me dramatically, “Until then, I shall burn for you, my lady.”

I squealed as he nuzzled my neck, jokingly.

“Goddess, I’m shocked. I battle hoards of minions for you and instead of pining for me, you’re letting another guy have a go at your happy spot.”

I blushed furiously as I clutched at Festos’ chest to keep from being dropped on my butt. Kai’s appearance had startled us both.

Festos stepped away from me, with a look of distaste at my neck. “Way too much info.”

Kai was safe. I went almost lightheaded with relief. “Where were you?”

Kai glanced down, all sheepish. “I needed a nap.”

“Ooh, big manly god needed a nap,” Festos taunted.

“Says the guy who likes umbrella drinks,” Kai shot back.

“One time. And I wasn’t the one asking for seconds.”

“Yeah,” Kai nodded with a smirk, “but asking in a manly way.”

I tuned them out as my initial relief turned to interest. My my, Kai had cleaned up nicely. Showered, shaved, poured into dark blue jeans that were faded with wear and fitted him perfectly, he was mouthwatering indeed.

Kai and Festos were still going at it. “… And there is such a thing as knocking,” Festos groused.

“If you had better wards,” Kai said, “then yeah, I’d
have
to knock. If Sophie’s going to come visit, amp them up so she doesn’t get hurt.”

“She’s fine from all monsters except the fat-headed uninvited one. I’ll be changing the wards appropriately.”

I found myself getting closer to Kai. I could smell the faintest hit of his musky cologne that made me tingle like a Pavlovian dog. Then I realized that Kai was holding something. “You brought me a flower?” I squinted at it. It was brown. “A dead flower?”

Kai laughed and held it out. “Not dead. Chocolate.”

My face lit up in delight as I took the proffered gift. It was fantastic. A perfect chocolate daisy wrapped in clear plastic and tied with a bright yellow ribbon.

Festos came around to the side of us, hummed the Psycho violins and made a repeated stabbing motion. “Lest you forget,” he said to me. He mouthed the word “murderer.”

“Don’t kill my happy, Fee.” I had to take these moments where I could. And I still couldn’t believe Kai had tried to kill Persephone.

Kai looked at us both like he was totally lost, then stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, his shirt cuffs scrunching up with the motion. He lazily eyed me up and down.

I could feel his gaze on me and tried not to visibly shiver.

Don’t drool
…

Channeling classic girly girl, I gave a flirty head toss, hoping it might upgrade my hair from limp and sweaty to something slightly less “wet dog.” “Glad you got out unharmed.”

Kai’s gaze never wavered from me. “Me too. Otherwise I couldn’t ask you on a date. Wanna go on a date with me, Sophie Bloom?”

“Is that a euphemism?” Festos asked from behind me. “Because you don’t date.”