My Date From Hell (14 page)

I reached up my hand to touch his face. It was an incredible moment of connection.

Too incredible. I freaked out.

“Really, it’s kind of like my own personal milk carton,” I blabbered. “Seen this goddess? Call Zeus.”

“A solar system missing child poster. How special,” he said, with a shake of his head. He got to his feet and pulled me up. “Better get back.”

The moment was definitely broken.

He laced his fingers through mine. “You good?”

I took one last look around, knowing that whatever else happened, I’d remember this forever. “Yeah.”

Surprisingly, I was.

Twelve

Kai blinked us back into the courtyard of Maia’s house.

My friends had set up shop in her laundry room.

The washing machine had been pushed to one side. Other than that, the room contained a sink and a shelf holding a small radio, now tuned to a English Eurotrash dance station. Oh, and a container of cookies that had been liberated from a kitchen cupboard.

All of them turned to me as one with the same worried expression.

“I’m fine. Really.”

“Told you,” Festos said. He shoved at Theo. “You’re such a drama queen.”

The boys had opened the portal. Festos stood in front of a big glowing hole muttering to himself. Through the portal, I could see a tropical island bathed in moonlight.

Theo perched nearby, arms crossed, staring into the hole with an intent expression.

Hannah sat on the washer, now barefoot. She waved me over.

I shot her a quizzical glance.

“Jack’s private island. In Thailand. Crazy, huh?”

Whoa. “Impressive secret tunnel.”

“They’ve already undone three wards. We think this is the final one.”

I leaned against the washer, watching them idly. The radio turned to its “on the hour” International news update and one particular story caught my ear. I reached over and cranked up the volume.

“… on Vancouver Island off the west coast of Canada. The earthquake hit about an hour ago in the Cowichan Valley, registering about a four on the Richter Scale. And while there were no injuries and only minimal damage, scientists
were
surprised at the small radius of the quake zone …” The announcer continued with brief details.

This was no natural disaster. It was Zeus and Hades, showing me that they could cause destruction in my life if they so chose. A warning. I clenched my hands. My cheeks flushed.

“Don’t let them win,” Hannah said, in a hard voice.

I almost missed the next item, reassuring her I wouldn’t.

“… Sassy Lass makeup stocks are up 200 percent after It girl Bethany was spotted wearing their latest lipstick in a video that went viral only hours ago. Riots broke out at makeup counters everywhere as women from fifteen to fifty clamored for the brand to emulate this new web sensation. Seventeen were reported injured.”

My ribbons shot out. It was all too much. I wanted to destroy something.

“Easy.” Kai clasped my hands in his to keep me from doing damage.

“When reached for comment,” the newscaster went on, “B had this to say.”

It switched to a clip of Bethany speaking. “While it’s empowering to wear feminine shades like those in the Sassy Lass line, if you are not up to the quest of seeking that treasure, then do us all a favor and stay home. Reward is for the mighty.”

I was stuttering by this point.

“Wise words for us all,” the newscaster finished up.

“Could do with a touch more subtlety in her approach,” Festos said.

“Jack is certainly milking Bethany for all she’s worth,” Theo said, glancing at his phone. “Guess who the majority owner of Sassy Lass makeup is?”

I couldn’t help myself. I ripped my hands from Kai’s grasp and blasted the radio to smithereens. I’d never hated anyone like I hated Jack. Between the mommy head games and the Bethany world tour? He was one serious son-of-a-bitch.

Kai put his arm around my waist, holding me in an iron grip. “Calm down. You’re just exhausting yourself.”

“What’s Jack’s deal?” Hannah wondered. “He can’t need the money he’d make off Bethany.”

“It’s not about the money,” Festos explained. “He’s not in Aphrodite’s league, looks-wise.”

“
Who
is?” Hannah asked.

Festos looked at her like she was stupid. “Moi. Anyhoo, this is Hermes’ way of leveling the power dynamic between them.”

“Relationships are never equal,” said Theo.

“You can’t believe that?” I looked around at all of them. Theo’s gaze challenged me, Festos looked rueful, Hannah seemed neutral, and Kai, well, I couldn’t read him. Poker face king.

There had to be some relationships that were based on equality. I thought through all the ones I knew. Fine, those might not have been the best examples, but I’m sure that somewhere out there were two people who loved each other on an even footing.

Theo’s phone rang. An old school rotary phone
briiing
. He handed it to me.

The screen read “Aphrodite.” I tried to shove it back at him but he refused to take it. With a glower, I answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Youse found him yet?”

“We thought we did but he was just messing with us.”

“Sheesh! A’course he’s messin’ with ya. He’s God of Tricksters. Don’t you know nothin’?”

I hissed with fury and Kai took the phone away from me.

I snuck a look at him, watching covertly as he slid down against the wall until he sat on the floor. His head tilted back, legs sprawled. He caught me staring and rolled his eyes, holding the phone away from his ear for a moment as Aphrodite continued to natter away at him.

“Enough, already. Where’s Jack? Is he on his island?” Kai said, cutting right back to our mission.

“Tres sexy. I like his ‘don’t mess with me’ voice,” Festos whispered to me.

“Me too.” Mercy. I didn’t want to give Kai the satisfaction of seeing me fan myself so I ate another cookie instead.

Kai tilted his head and regarded me with half-lidded eyes as he listened to Aphrodite.
Later
, he mouthed.

“This date is over,” Theo said, coming to stand beside me.

I elbowed him in the ribs. “It’s. The. Arrow.”

“Please,” he scoffed. Then he sighed, resigned. “If you need to do him, I’ll help you. But we’ll try to contain you to one time. Just to bind you two. For the good of the universe.”

“There’s a mood killer,” Festos said.

My eyes widened at Theo’s presumption. “If that ever happens, you won’t be there ‘containing us,’ you perv. Go watch porn online like a real teen boy.”

Kai hung up and tossed Theo his phone. “Useless.”

I watched Theo and Festos struggle with trying to lower the ward for another minute. I had a funny thought. “What we need is another manacle.”

“Say what?” Festos asked.

I explained about how we’d used his manacles to capture and hold the wards in the trailer.

“I’m more of a genius than I ever realized,” Festos said, and disappeared. He blinked back a moment later holding a set of manacles.

Hannah reached out to touch it and I knocked her hand away.

She whipped her head toward me.

“Just don’t. Please.” Rationally, I knew that they couldn’t hurt her like this. My pounding heart didn’t care.

Festos placed the manacle in the glowing hole. It popped, flashed, and then cleared. “Ladies first.”

Hannah practically knocked me over in her excitement to jump through.

We landed on a tiny sandy outcropping a ways from shore. It was a bit disconcerting to see a hole hovering about three feet off the ground with a view back to Maia’s laundry room. “Hurry up!” Hannah called to the others.

They tumbled after us. Festos came last, the manacle held fast in his hand.

With another flash, the ward sealed up before us and the portal hole disappeared.

I scanned the area. No nasty welcoming party. For the moment, at least, we seemed to be safe. And warm even though it was still night. Warm was a pleasant change.

“Neat,” Festos said, examining the manacle. “Had no idea they’d do that.” He blinked them away.

Kai indicated the island in front of us. “We’ll be safer over there.”

I eyed the stretch of brilliant turquoise water between us and Jack’s island. The bright moon illuminated the bay in which we’d landed. The shore lay about fifty feet away, white sand in a sweeping curve around us. It wasn’t a large beach, maybe thirty feet wide. Beyond it was dense foliage
—
mostly palm trees at the outer fringe.

It was all very dark jungle and I didn’t particularly want to go traipsing into it, but since I didn’t see a house, obviously I’d be finding myself there shortly. New trees to be around? Very cool. Things in, under, or around the trees to kill me? Not so much.

To the right side of the island were steep stone cliffs. Truthfully, they looked more like enormous boulders. Fit for a giant, with more jungle on top.

I slapped Kai on the back. “Okay transporter, do that funky party trick of yours and get us over there.”

He shook his head. “Nope. Jack could have some mean trick rigged on shore. We swim over and approach cautiously.” He motioned for me to head into the water.

Swimming in the dark was a no go. I stood there. “I don’t recall agreeing to this.”

Kai gave me his most arrogant “look down on the puny figure” glare. “And I don’t recall starting that statement with ‘If you would be so kind, Your Majesty.’”

Hannah shut us up with a sharp whistle. “Look!” She pointed out into the water. A fin had circled around our bit of land. Her joyful expression was pretty much the opposite of the one the rest of us wore.

“Doo-
doo
-doo-
doo
,” Festos chanted in his finest
Jaws
theme imitation.

“It’s not a shark,” Hannah said, as a short way out in the water, a dolphin popped its head out, almost dancing before us. “Isn’t he the cutest? Maybe he’d help us get across.”

I raised my hand.

Hannah, knowing full well what I intended to say, ignored me.

This got Festos curious. “Class recognizes Sophie Bloom.”

I planted myself directly in front of Hannah, forcing her to look at me. “Weren’t you the one who put the fear of Flipper in me with like six hundred links about how there’d been an increase in dolphin rapes. And how a dolphin’s penis can physically lift stuff up?”

Kai peered out at it. “Now I’m just picturing skeezy dolphins cruising for unsuspecting back floaters.”

I laughed.

Theo huffed in disgust. “You’re spending too much time together. That arrow is melding your brains.”

“We’re gonna need more dolphins,” Hannah said, motioning at it.

The dolphin made some clicking noises in response.

“You want us to catch a ride with those freaky humptramps? I think not,” Theo said.

Kai disagreed. “It’s a good idea. Dolphins are incredibly loyal to Poseidon, and far as I know, he’s neutral in all this.”

“And Aphrodite likes them, which has to be good for this mission,” Festos pointed out.

Kai and I both laughed. Yeah, right.

Four more dolphins appeared.

“They are damnably adorable,” Festos said.

I regarded the little monsters through narrowed eyes. “Yes. Emphasis on the damned. Their cuteness is just their evil M.O.”

Festos removed his fedora for a second to fan himself. “We’ve got two gods and a goddess with active powers, an ex-Titan with a deadly chain, and a hot blonde. What exactly do you think they’re going to do?”

Hannah frowned. “Okay. Now I’m feeling like the weakest link.”

The first dolphin moved closer toward us, clicking and squeaking.

I glanced over at Hannah. “Translation, Dr. Doolittle?”

Hannah leaned forward to listen to the dolphin.

Dear God, I’d been kidding.

“He says Sophie is a giant asshat,” Hannah said.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Hannah Nygard. She’s here all week.” I walked forward, tugged off my boots, tucked them under my arm, and waded into the warm water. In the bright moonlight, the water was crystal clear enough to see the shallow bottom, but I had no idea how deep it got between us and the island. “What’s your problem, fish?”

“Mammal,” Hannah corrected me.

The dolphin grew more agitated at my presence. He began dancing forward and back, with random left and right flipper flaps against the water.

Festos laughed and began to hum the music from his arcade dance program.

My mouth fell open. I peered at the dolphin again. “No freaking way.”

“What? Tell me.” Hannah had come up to join me.

“The dolphin is doing the same dance routine Fee had me do to try and get Persephone’s memories back.”

Now Theo laughed. “And you fell for that? Sucker.”

Festos and I both turned to glare at him. “It wasn’t a joke,” Festos said coldly. “The software is based on years of research on how dance increases temporal and prefrontal activity
—
”

“To improve memory,” Hannah said, excited. “You were trying to create new formations of interconnection to help the memory pathways. That’s so cool!”

“You, I love,” Festos said, coming to stand with Hannah. “The rumpled Greek, not so much.”

“I’m sorry,” Theo said. “It’s just, it sounded like a practical joke. Kai, wanna help me out here?”

“Nope.”

“I think he’s started the routine again,” Festos said. “And look,
he
can do the whole thing.”

“Very good.” I looked at the dolphin. “You’re better than me. High score dolphin. Can we get on you now?”

Hannah elbowed me in the ribs. “I think he wants someone to do the dance back to him. Like the password to cross.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I said, bending to roll my now wet leggings up above my knee.