My Bad Boy's Secret: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance (210 page)

I tried to hug Rose, but she embraced me first and kissed me, trying to breathe air into my lungs. “Blake, you don’t have to feel bad. It’s not your fault. It’s normal to feel like that. You’re not in a dream, and you’re not going to lose me and our kids. You’re not going back to that life. You won’t die alone. I know who you used to be, and you haven’t been that man for a long time. When you destroyed my car that day, I had a glimpse of the old you, and I wanted nothing to do with that guy. But I haven’t seen him in ages. You’ve been through a lot of horrible things in your life, but just know that I am real, and I am never going to leave you or hurt you. We are going to get through this together.” She held my head to her chest and kissed my head.

I cried harder, but inside I felt saved. Hearing what Rose said assured me that I was foolish for worrying about losing her, and that I was going to be all right. I couldn’t believe Rose just said “our kids”. Those two words lifted away a lot of the heaviness in my heart. She trusted me that much, and I wasn’t just a temporary part of her life. I was here to stay.

“There, do you feel better after talking?” Rose asked soothingly.

“Not really,” I replied lazily.

Rose pulled my head from her chest and glared at me, her face inches from mine. “OK, a little,” I admitted. I pecked her on the lips. “But I still feel like shit. I got us all into this,” I gestured at our room, “and I ruined your life.”

Rose’s face got quizzical. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t you see? I got you involved in this, running like rats every year, never being able to settle down like other people. I made you lose your job. You can’t work anywhere now. You’ll never be a lawyer like you wanted! You’ll never get to do things like shopping, taking vacations, or going to parties. You haven’t seen your family in years. I made Jessica and Amber lose their childhoods. They’ll eventually hate me for it.”

“They don’t know why we’re always moving. We haven’t told them the truth,” Rose pointed out.

“Yeah, because they’re too young to know. But once they get older and find out the reason, they’ll hate me. They’ll know who I really am. I spent my whole life as a monster, Rose. I was an attack dog, killing anyone who people with money told me to kill. I had no morals. There’s nothing I can ever do to make up for the lives I took, the families I broke up, the pain I caused. And now I do the same thing, only now it’s legal. It’s my job, because the government says so and they’re fine with me killing when it serves their interests. And I can’t quit, otherwise I’d go to prison and lose you. I don’t care how good the money is, it’s tearing me apart. I’m going to be a killer on the run till the day I die, and I have to drag you and your – our – kids along. I don’t see why you don’t just leave me and let me rot in jail.” Surprisingly, I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I waited for Rose to respond. She looked very grave.

Finally, she opened her mouth. “Is that what you really want? For me to take Jessica and Amber, break the deal, and turn you in? You want to lose the family we’ve created?”

Rose probably knew my answer already. “No, of course not,” I sighed. “But I really do feel like that. I hate myself. I’m a monster who dragged you down with me. Don’t you agree?”

Rose continued holding me and stroking my face and chest. “It’s not like I haven’t thought of the things you’ve said, Blake. I’m not ignorant of what you did. You’ve told me and the authorities about pretty much all of the murders you committed. You helped us solve a lot of cases, too. Even the feds were shocked at how many cases you were involved in. Believe me, I was appalled by what you did, and sometimes I’m surprised that I’m even with you. But I see you today, trying so hard to change, and it’s given me hope. Hope for you, and hope for other people to turn their lives around. I used to be so cynical about second chances and criminals reforming themselves. I used to think it was impossible. My first marriage and divorce gave me a horribly dark view of people, and I had a hard time seeing the good in others. Being with you has cleared away some of the darkness.” She looked deep into my eyes, and I saw that her serious glance was now loving.

“I do sometimes miss the things I used to be able to do. I know I don’t live like most people. I can’t even use my real name, for heaven’s sake! I am sometimes envious of other people. It is stressful and lonely, and I could write a book about all the crap we’ve had to put up with. I do get angry and bitter about our circumstances, and I do want things to change. But I’ve never hated you for any of that. It’s the government that created these conditions for us, and the best we can do is live with them.” Rose kept her warm glance on me, and comforted me with sweet kisses as she talked.

“I know this job is hard on you. It’s awful and violent. Most people don’t kill for the government to earn a living. But it’s what the government demands of you in this situation, and we can’t really do anything else. We’re not in a position to argue. They’ve been very accommodating already, and at least they let us live together with some peace and freedom. They pay us both pretty well. We can afford a house easily, and Jessica and Amber will have more than enough in their personal savings accounts to pay for college.”

“I don’t care about the money at all,” I replied. “I’d give it all up to not live like this and feel so awful all the time.”

“I know,” said Rose in her soft tone, “but have you ever thought that that feeling may be what you have to carry with you for the rest of your life?”

That was food for thought. It was something new for me to consider. I had to admit that Rose was probably right.

“The fact is, you weren’t a very good person. Like you said, you used to kill anyone, without any consideration for morality. You really were a bad man. Maybe,” mused Rose slowly, “the pain you feel every day is the punishment for your crimes, and you’ll never be rid of it. You’ll just have to live with it. It’ll remind you of who you were, and it’ll warn you to never be that man again.”

We were quiet together for a long time. We continued to pet and kiss. The sun rose higher and the room grew brighter.

Jessica and Amber rushed into our room and jumped on our bed. They finally pulled us out, and we took them to the park to have a picnic. At first, we were smiling just to put on a show for the kids, but eventually we began genuinely laughing and feeling happy again. For that day, we felt like a real family, without anything from the past hovering over us.

I made cheeseburgers that night, and we had a great dinner. We watched Nickelodeon together until we finally forced the girls to go to bed. Rose then switched to the news when it was just the two of us.

“I have news of mine too,” Rose turned to look squarely at me when commercials began playing.

“What?” I was relaxed and mildly tipsy from all the beer I drank.

“It’s really big news, but I might be wrong.”

“What is it?” I still didn’t get the hint.

“I’m pregnant…”

I almost fell from the couch and hit my head. The talk we had had relaxed me so much that I wasn’t ready for Rose to spring that one on me. I coughed and breathed hard, and Rose patted my back.

“Are you going to be OK? Should I call an ambulance?”

“Funny. Holy crap, are you sure? When did it start? How far along are you?”

“I stopped taking my pills a month ago. I took a test last week and it was positive. But I’m honestly not 100% certain. I have my doubts, so I arranged to see the doctor tomorrow.”

I hugged and kissed Rose, and she returned the kisses.

“Ready to be a daddy?” Rose asked.

“I think I’ve somehow not screwed up Amber and Jessica too much, so I might do an okay job.”

I put my hand to Rose’s belly and felt the warmth. It was still flat, but I couldn’t wait for it to swell.

“You look like you’re about to cry,” Rose observed with a smirk. “I didn’t know a big guy like you could be such a baby. Need me to change your diaper?”

I growled and pounced over Rose, smothering her face with my lips and fondling her breasts. She squealed and fought back.

We would’ve continued doing this, but the anchorwoman’s words shocked me enough to part from Rose’s lips.

“Federal authorities have issued new search warrants and cash rewards leading to the arrests of former mob boss Amilcare Adalfieri and his daughter, and right hand woman, Luciana Adalfieri, of the Maggadino crime family of Chicago. The two criminals are believed to have fled to Italy and may have taken refuge under assumed names in neighboring European countries. They are wanted on multiple charges of drug trafficking, money laundering, loan sharking, murder for hire, prostitution, and racketeering, among other crimes. The requests for extradition may not be honored by the European Union and Interpol due to current tensions with the United States over beef bans…”

The news was a cold snowstorm to my face. I shivered. I kept staring at the screen, hanging onto every word spoken. The faces were exactly the ones I recognized. They were two of the faces that dwelled in my nightmares and made me such a wreck. I saw that Rose was staring too with her mouth open and fear burning in her eyes.

We weren’t really listening by the end of the report, but it didn’t matter. The carefree mood we had since our morning picnic was gone, frozen and torn to pieces by the reminder of our past.

I put my arm over Rose. “It’s over, Rose. Like you said, we’ll get through this. They won’t find us again.”

“Yeah,” said Rose uncertainly. She was still shaken. She remained silent and leaned on my shoulder. “To think that she was once my best friend.”

To think that I used to love her. In the photo I saw of her, she was still glamorous, not having aged a day, or maybe it was heavy makeup that helped her still look so young? The face of her dad was as brutal and cold as ever.

“Maybe one day we can leave the country too,” I remarked. “Start over somewhere in a place no one would think to look for us. Australia, or China, or Brazil. No one we know for thousands of miles.”

Rose looked up at me with surprise. “Really? How would we manage that? Think of the changes, and the challenges of living in a new country.”

“But it might be effective,” I argued. “No gangs hunting for us. You could ask the government about it. Since I do so much work abroad, who knows, you might be surprised, it could be more cost-effective for them to let us live in another country.”

Rose thought for a moment. “You have a point. I’ll talk to them. It would be an interesting move. And no one would recognize us.”

“No matter what happens, I’m going to protect you and our kids,” I promised as I massaged her warm belly. “I love you, and we’re going to be together.”

Rose smiled again. I finally managed to free her from the coldness that gripped her when we both heard the news.

“I love you, Blake Snatch. I can’t wait to be together with you forever.”

With that, she snaked her hands down my pants and gave my penis a shameless massage.

“There’s something I wanted to do with you since I awoke this morning,” she whispered seductively. “We were rudely interrupted this morning. Why don’t we head back to bed so I can show you what I want to do?”

I picked up her up by her back and legs, leaning into her face to kiss her fully with unbridled lust.

“Let’s do it.”

Beneath His LUST

                                                       
Chapter One

Madison rang the doorbell, and as she waited, she nervously straightened her short skirt and flicked her long blonde hair behind her slender shoulders.

It was a warm summer evening in the small American town of Clearbrook where Madison had been born and raised. She was now twenty-two-years-old and the envy of most of the local girls due to her perfect appearance. She epitomized a guy’s image of the perfect girl with her hourglass figure; her long toned legs and shapely cleavage. The irony of Madison’s sexy appearance was the fact that most guys ran in the opposite direction when they saw her approaching; her beautiful smile and sexy body were enough to scare most guys half to death. But she was hoping this wouldn’t be true though with the guy she was aiming to seduce tonight.