Murder With All the Trimmings (33 page)

“I doubt that,” Josie said. “My friend Alyce can stand up to the cops. I’ve seen her.”

But Stan’s praise soothed Josie’s hurting heart. Mike had been angry and called her a “meddler.” He’d hardly spoken to her since the police let him go.

“Still, you got Mike released,” Stan said. “He must have been thrilled.”

“He was surprised,” Josie said. That was the truth.

“So the charges were dropped against him?” Stan asked.

“Mike’s free. He has full custody of Heather, now that her mother’s in jail.”

“That’s good news.”

“It means big changes in Heather’s life,” Josie said. “With her mother in jail, she’s going to live full-time with Mike and his dog. Mike’s mother offered to take her, but Mike refused. ‘Grandma is just a little too easy to fool,’ he said.”

“So was Mike,” Amelia said. “Heather walked all over her dad and he never knew it.”

“Ameliaaaaa,” Josie said, drawing the word out to warn her daughter that her patience was nearing an end. “Heather is in counseling now.”

“That’s good,” Stan said.

“I hope so,” Josie said. Secretly, she wondered how much good it could do.

“So Heather didn’t get in any trouble with the law?” Stan asked.

“She’s on probation. The Santa suit was found at Doreen’s house, rolled up in Heather’s closet. Heather confessed that she wore it and shoveled the snow off the roof to scare the picketers ‘because Mom made me, but I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.’ ”

“Do you think that’s true?” Stan asked.

“I think Heather was lying. But I don’t care if Doreen serves time for a crime she didn’t commit. She shouldn’t have made that poor kid sell pornographic Christmas ornaments.”

“So Doreen killed those two people—Nate and that radio lady—for no reason.”

“She killed them for a big reason,” Josie said. “She wanted to ruin her rival’s business. She didn’t realize that she would also kill her own store. But, no, she didn’t know Nate or Sheila, and didn’t care.”

“That’s cold,” Stan said.

“She makes the North Pole look like Nassau,” Josie said.

“I forgot to ask in all the confusion,” Stan said. “How did Doreen know you were at the tree lot?”

“Her new boyfriend worked there. He called her as soon as he saw me. Doreen came over and attacked me. Oh, here. I wanted to give you a little thank-you gift.”

She reached under the tree and handed Stan a package wrapped in shiny red paper.

“For me?” Stan said. He tore it open and saw the T-shirt.

“Thought we’d start that makeover early,” Josie said.

Her doorbell rang. “You have company,” Stan said. “I’d better go.”

“No, you were invited,” Josie said. “That’s someone who dropped by without an invitation.”

“Go put the shirt on,” Amelia said. “You can change in Mom’s bedroom.”

The doorbell rang again and Stan vanished with his new shirt. Amelia led the way to Josie’s room.

Mike was standing on Josie’s porch. He looked at her candlelit living room and said, “Sorry, I didn’t know you were having a party.”

“Come on in,” Josie said.

This was the Mike she’d first met at Alyce’s—drop-dead handsome and a little shy. He looked uncomfortable, like a schoolboy asking out a girl for the first time. “Josie, I owe you an apology.”

Ah, she thought. That explained the attitude. Mike hated apologies.

“I was angry at you for meddling, but you were trying to get at the truth. It’s better for Heather, too. I know that now. Heather’s counselor said you did the right thing. I came to tell you that I’m sorry and to give you this.”

He handed Josie a blue box. Josie opened it. A diamond ring in a platinum setting glittered on the dark velvet.

“Oh, Mike,” she said. “It’s lovely.”

“So will you marry me?”

“No, Mike.” There was regret in her voice.

“I thought you loved me,” he said.

“I do love you,” she said. “But—”
I can’t stand your daughter
was the rest of that sentence, and Mike knew it.

“But I think we’d have problems with our daughters,” Josie said. “Heather comes first with you. Amelia comes first with me. The girls don’t get along, and we have two different ways of raising them. Mike, we can’t get married now. It wouldn’t work.” She handed the ring back.

He shuffled his feet and said, “I’m sorry, Josie, but . . .”

“I’m sorry, too, Mike,” Josie said, and she was.

“Is there someone else?” Mike asked.

His question angered her. “Right,” Josie said. “I have so much time for men. I have them stashed in every room.”

The door to Josie’s bedroom opened and Stan came out. This was the new Stan, wearing a tight, sexy shirt that showed his improved physique. “Hi, Mike,” Stan said. Mike practically bared his teeth.

“What do you think, Josie?” Stan asked.

“You look hot,” Amelia said. “But you need to lose the pants.”

“Amelia!” Josie said.

“I didn’t mean right this moment,” Amelia said.

“Good-bye, Josie,” Mike said. Josie didn’t hear him leave.

Shopping Tips

Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, is the busiest shopping day of the year.

Or is it?

The mall may be crowded as a mosh pit the day after Thanksgiving. But surveys show the real retail buying may take place closer to Christmas. The International Council of Shopping Centers (ICSC) reports that between 1993 and 2002, Black Friday was a sluggardly seventh or eighth place, occasionally rising to fifth. In 2003 and 2005, Black Friday jumped to first place, but that’s only twice in nine years.

So what’s really the nation’s busiest shopping day? The one you can count on?

The Saturday before Christmas. Or, if Christmas is on a weekend, December 23 is the big day.

Shopping protest:
When you stay home from the mall on Black Friday, you could be choosing to avoid the crowds—or engaging in a protest.
Adbusters
magazine declared Black Friday “Buy Nothing Day” back in 1997.

But if you do go to the mall:
Josie feels Christmas decorations have been up since Labor Day, but the ICSC says most retailers begin decorating November 1.

The song Josie is most likely to hear in the malls during the holiday season?

“Jingle Bells” is the mall favorite, followed by “White Christmas.”

Have your eye on special holiday decorations?
January is the best time to buy them on sale, especially expensive ornaments or china. They can cost fifty to seventy-five percent less after the holidays. If you can’t wait a whole year, check out the Christmas decoration sale all year round at
www.christmaspeople.com
.

Worried about unsafe toys?
Be a label reader. “Look for toys that give age and safety recommendations and use that information as a guide,” the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission says. The CPSC suggests buyers avoid “building sets with small magnets” for children under six years old. Ditto for toys with small parts for children under three. Those can be a choking hazard. Air rockets, darts, and slingshots can cause serious eye injuries and are best enjoyed by older children. Some stores have online safety and recall information. One is Toys R Us at
www.Toysrus.com/safety
. It’s tough when you have to take away a Christmas gift because it’s unsafe for your child, grandchild, or godchild.

Bargain hunting is not for the timid.
Some brave souls get up at four a.m. the day after Thanksgiving and shiver in the cold for those special holiday prices. Just make sure you’re waiting for something that’s there. Call the store before the sale and find out how many units are in stock of the items you want. If the store only has four or five flat-panel televisions at that incredibly low price, you may decide you want to sleep late that day.

Better yet, sit tight until the last two weeks before Christmas, when you’ll see real deals on TVs, computers, electronics, and other gifts. The lines are shorter, too, except maybe on December 23.

So you want to be a mystery shopper:
As in all professions, you need to look out for potential problems. Be careful before you sign on with a company as a mystery shopper. Go to David Grisman’s
www.2006topscams
. com/mystery-shopping.He says some of those“get paid for shopping” Web sites want you to buy a mystery-shopping directory that may contain outdated information.

What should a wise mystery shopper do?

Grisman suggests you ask this key question: Does the site offer a money-back guarantee? Some promise that you will “get paid to shop” if you give them money but never give you anything in return. Look for Web sites that include a way to get your money refunded.

Not sure if a mystery-shopping company is legitimate? Check with your state attorney general’s office or the Better Business Bureau. Check out the Mystery Shopping Providers Association at
www.mysteryshop.org
and make sure your potential company is a member of MSPA. Check the same site for mystery-shopping scams.

Now, let’s go holiday shopping. Out of fresh holiday gift ideas? Consider these:

Hot flash:
When a friend sent my husband, Don, an LED penlight, I expected it to wind up in a junk drawer. Don isn’t crazy about gadgets, and I’d never find him wandering the aisles at the hardware store. So I was surprised when he liked the penlight. Don keeps it in a place of honor by the TV. He uses his new flashlight to tease the cat, find the object that rolled under the bookcase, and help operate the remote.

I started asking around and learned an important lesson: Most men love flashlights, from skinny penlights to macho titanium tactical lights. Check out a Web site called Cool Flashlights,
www.coolflashlights.com
.

Extra scratch:
There’s a nifty telescoping back-scratcher from C. Crane and Co.,
www.ccrane.com
, for around ten dollars.

Gifts for women that are easy on the wallet but send the right message:
There’s something about that Tiffany & Co. blue box that makes a woman’s heart flutter. If a five-figure necklace is out of your price range, Tiffany has gifts for less than one hundred dollars, from earrings to Elsa Peretti charms. They all come in that distinctive Tiffany blue box. Check them out at
www.tiffany.com
.

Put some sparkle in her life:
You don’t have to give her diamonds. If your favorite female plans to hit the beach this holiday season, consider sparkling crystal-trimmed flip-flops from Deborah Evans. They’re less than $100 at
www.funfeet.com
. Hey, if they’re sexy enough for Eva Longoria, chances are the woman you know will be pleased, too.

Take her career seriously:
An engraved card holder will keep a businesswoman from presenting a dog-eared card pulled from the bottom of her purse. Tiffany has those, too, but if you’re on a budget, consider JCPenney’s engraved business card holders for about thirty dollars or less. Check out
www.jcpenney.com
.

Sex and chocolate:
Red Envelope has offbeat gifts, including Truth, Dare or Chocolate. This game has racy questions: “Where is the kinkiest place you’ve made love?” and gives you chances to tattoo your partner with Chocoholics Body Frosting. The game includes paint-brushes, cards, pawns, and two tiny jars of body frosting.
www.redenvelope.com
.

Cook your heart out:
This romantic staple from novels works in real life, too. If you’re a man who knows his way around the kitchen, fix her a meal. If you can’t cook, stop at your favorite deli or supermarket, pick up a roast chicken, a salad, veggies, and flowers. Hardworking moms and working women all appreciate having someone else cook for a change.

Like Josie, I’m not a good cook. Fortunately, many of my friends are. Every year I wait for my Christmas present from Janet Smith. Janet mails a big box of homemade Christmas cookies. Liz Aton sends the ingredients for delicious holiday dips. All I have to do is add fresh sour cream, and I can bring something homemade to a holiday party. It wasn’t completely made in my home, but they don’t have to know that.

Give your time and talent:
Short on cash but want to do the right thing? Offer your services as a babysitter, an errand runner, or car washer. If you’re handy, a couple of hours of fix-it service are a welcome surprise. Volunteer to hang pictures and repair that dripping faucet.

For one-of-a-kind dogs:
Pure Mutt is a company that celebrates one-of-a-kind dogs. After all, there’s no pet quite like the collie-Lab mix you adopted at the shelter. Pure Mutt has matching shirts for dogs and their human companions, as well as leashes, key chains, collars, and other apparel. A portion of the proceeds benefits a no-kill animal shelter. For information, orders, or to find a Pure Mutt supplier near you, go to
www.puremuttinc.com

Gifts that give back:
If a family member says, “Please don’t buy me another useless holiday present, I have too much stuff,” give a gift that gives back. Buy a better future with groups like Kiva. Where else can a pig farmer in Bali get help from a socialite in Boca Raton?