Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction (18 page)

“
I heard he’s been hangin’ ‘round her house a lot lately.”

Bug
tucked his chin and looked at the deputy over his glasses. “Well he is the kids’ uncle, ya know.”

“
But, Chief, you know Trevor’s always had a crush on Maye.”

“
That’s ‘zactly why I don’t think he’ll say no more ‘bout it. He don’t want her questionin’ his sanity. He knows it sounds like crazy talk.”

* * *

“Maye, you’ve always tolerated his flirtin’, and it seemed harmless since you were both married, and everybody knew you loved John more than life itself. But you ought not to encourage him now.” Maye and her sister-in-law talked while they did the dishes.

“
Oh, don’t be silly, Denise. Everybody knows I’m still in mourning.”

“
That may be, and don’t take this the wrong way, but I know you like the attention. It’s just that you’re unknowingly encouragin’ him. He seems to get bolder every time he comes over.”

“
Oh, it’s only harmless fun.”

“
Honey, you and I may know it’s all in fun, but does he?”

[ 
June
2010  ]

A hand reached out from the dark doorway of the Silly Goose, grabbed Tess by the wrist, and pulled her off the sidewalk. She froze, her whole body rigid.

Then
she screamed, even as she saw Jack standing in front of her, his right hand in the air as a sign of surrender, his left hand still wrapped around her wrist. Her self-defense reflexes hadn’t yet gotten the memo to cease and desist. Her knee became a groin-seeking missile as she wrenched her arm free. Fortunately, he anticipated her reaction and leapt out of kicking range.

“
It’s just me, for pity's sake!” Jack said. “It’s just me! It’s just me!” He repeated, hands out in front of him, until she dropped her knee and slumped back against the brick wall. 

Glaring
at him, with one hand on her chest and the other on her forehead, she tried to catch her breath. She was furious with him for scaring her like that. She took her purse off of her shoulder and whacked him on the arm with it.

“
Hey!” he yelped.

Another
whack.

“
Hey!”

Whack.

“
HEY!”

“
Jack! How could you?” she screamed.

“
I’m sorry! I really am—I saw you comin’ and thought it would be fun to surprise you. I didn’t think that it would scare you like that. I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry!” She glared at him. “Let me make it up to you by buying your dinner.” He tried to reach out and touch her arm.

Putting
her purse straps back over her shoulder, she stepped out of the darkened doorway, onto the sidewalk, and out of his reach. Her heart was still doing the rumba, and her adrenaline was doing push-ups. She sat on a bench in front of the restaurant to try to calm down. Jack cautiously sat next to her.

“
Please, Tess. I really am sorry I scared you. I was only playing around. Have dinner with me. Please?” He looked at her as if
she’d
hurt
his
feelings. She sat glaring at him, trying to return her stomach to its rightful place. He touched her hand and added another “Please?”

She
acquiesced. Tucking her hair behind her ears, she eyed him
suspiciously. At the end of a deep sigh, she grumpily said, “Oh . . . all right. But don't you dare
ever
pull a stupid stunt like that on me again!”

“
Never ever. I promise.” Jack held up his scout's honor fingers.

Once
they were seated at a table on the patio, Jack said, “Let’s start with a drink to calm your nerves.”

“
Jack, did you do that on purpose?” Tess asked, narrowing her eyes at him for the second time that night.

“
Do what on purpose?”

“
You wouldn’t have scared me in order to offer me a drink and try to get me drunk, would you?” She looked at him suspiciously.

“
Well, I have to admit this is working out better than planned.”

“
Aha! You admit you planned this!”

“
Now don’t go putting words in my mouth!” He sat up straight and leaned forward. “I don’t think you could define
planning
as the fleeting thought I had between the time I first saw you walking toward me, to when I grabbed you. But if you insist, then okay, you’re right. In that short span of time, I hatched the diabolical plan to make you have dinner with me. But I did not plan to get you drunk. That would just be a bonus.”

“
After you all but attacked me?”

“
I did not attack you! I merely tugged on your arm.”

“
Mmm hmmm.” Tess looked up at the waiter who had arrived at their table. She pasted on a smile and said, “I’ll have a martini, please.”

After
Jack ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale, and the waiter had gone, he said, “So you decided to get drunk with me, after all!”

“
One drink.
One drink
, Jack. That will not make me drunk. What is with you?”

“
You’re just so darn fun to mess with, Mary T.” Jack’s eyes sparkled mischievously.

He
was spared a retort because Tess spied Willy entering the restaurant. “Oh no,” she groaned.

Jack
followed the direction of her eyes, through the big glass windows, inside to the bar, where he spotted Willy, resplendent in full cowboy regalia. He was sporting a black western shirt with pearl snaps and a skull embroidered on each side of his chest. Each skull held a rose stem in its mouth, with the embroidered rose snaking its way up the shoulder. He had on a bolo tie with black leather cords that held a large silver arrowhead slide. His denim jeans looked painted on, and the cowboy boots and a black cowboy hat completed the ensemble.

“
He’s dressed to impress. In his own mind,” Tess said.

“
What in the world?” Jack gaped, as Willy settled into a seat at the bar. “If he weren’t so ridiculous lookin’, I’d say he was tryin’ to catch the eye of a certain pretty lady.”

“
Well he certainly looks like a fish out of water in this place. I mean, he looks nice enough with his bolo tie and all, but . . . skulls and roses?”

“
I’d venture a guess he’s trying to show his badass side with the skulls, and his softer, tender side with the roses. You know, with those two qualities, he could be quite the catch,” Jack said dryly.

“
If it weren’t for his lack of brains, his perpetual sneer, and his crude personality.”

“
I’m surprised he can sit. His pants are so tight, if he farted, he’d blow his boots off.”

“
Jack!” Tess covered a laugh with her hand over her mouth.

The
waiter reappeared with their drinks. After he took their dinner orders and left again, Jack decided to shift gears.

“
Are you planning on goin’ to the Fourth of July shindig?”

“
Yes, I thought I’d go for a while,” she answered, warily.

“
Good. How ‘bout I pick you up and we go together?” He didn’t wait for an answer but just bulldozed on. “Look, I’ve gone for the past few years, and I always get hit on by all the blue hairs. You’d be doing me a favor by going with me. It would help keep them at bay.”

“
Oh, so I’d be kind of like your bodyguard,” she said, more as a statement than a question.

“
You say taters, I say maters.” Jack grinned, dimple appearing.

“
I think that’s ‘you say tomatoes, I say tomahtoes.’”

“
Idn’t that what I said?” he asked facetiously. He sat back, and took a long drink of his beer. He finally returned the glass to the table and said, “I’ll be by to pick you up at one o’clock. We’ll make a day of it. Okay?”

She
eyed him guardedly. “I don’t know, Jack.”

“
Tess, let me prove to you I’m not a bad guy. I want to get to know you better. I want to spend time with you.” He pleaded with his eyes.

Sixty
-four times twenty-eight equals . . .

“
Well lookie hare!” Willy suddenly stood at their table, with a fake grin on his face. “Just the woh-man I was hopin’ ta see. I’ve purt’ near busted two sets of knee caps lookin’ for you.”

“
Well, now you’ve found her, and you can see she’s busy. So scram,” Jack growled.

“
Now, you ain't got no call ta act mean like that. I’us only bein’ friendly, is all.” Willy held his hat up to his chest, trying his best to look hurt. “I even happened by yer house, but ya weren’t thar.”

“
No shit, Sherlock . . . “ Jack began, but faltered under Tess's glare. “We were havin’ a nice civilized dinner until you came by.”

“
I wadn’t talkin’ ta you, ya old coot.”

“
Well, you know what they say about age . . . “

“
No, but I know what
I
say. And I say, you're old.”

“
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill,” Jack said through slitted eyes.

“
Willy, is there something I can do for you?” Tess asked, putting her hand on Jack’s arm.

“
Why yes, as a matta fact there is. You can say you’ll go ta the Fourth a July town hoo-ha with me.” Willy shot a sneer at Jack.

“
Oh.” Tess sat back, surprised. “I’m sorry, Willy, but I just told Jack I’d go with him.”

Jack
gave a surprised look at Tess before folding his arms and shining a satisfied grin at Willy.

“
Well. Whatever blows your dress up,” Willy said coldly. He turned and disappeared as fast as he had appeared a few moments before.

“
So now who’s whose bodyguard?” He saw a worried expression on Tess’s face; he sighed and said, “You weren’t tellin’ Willy a tall tale, were ya? You
did
just agree to go with me to the town celebration—right?”

“
Hmmm?” Tess’s gaze moved from the door Willy had walked through to Jack. “Yes, I meant it. I just don't understand Willy's interest in me. I'm only five years younger than you are. He's got to see me as old, too.”

“
That man is trouble. He hasn’t done anything other than be a pest, has he?”

“
There’s just a certain edge to him, and there’s something that
happened the other day that I haven’t told you about.”

His
face got serious and he said quietly, “Tell me, now.”

“
I think someone may be stalking me.” He raised his eyebrows and she continued. “I found two footprints and some cigarette butts beneath my office window the other day.”

“
You
what
?” he exploded. Tess shushed him and he lowered his voice. “Why didn’t you tell me? Did you call John Ed? Tell me you called John Ed.”

“
I didn’t call John Ed,” she said quietly, guiltily.

“
Mary Tess Tremaine . . . “

“
Jack, I wasn’t about to give that man another opportunity to say
I was having a . . . a . . . a hissy fit with wings . . . “

“
A hissy fit with a tail,” he corrected her.

“
You know he would have just laughed at me. Actually, I did tell him later, when I saw him at the bookstore. He couldn’t have cared less.”

“
But that was solid evidence. Cigarette butts would have fingerprints on them.”

“
I didn’t think about that.”

“
You think Willy might be involved in this?” He leaned toward her.

“
I don’t know. I just find his behavior odd.”

“
You're a beautiful woman, Tess. It’s not that I’m threatened by old Willy, I just don’t like him around you.”

“
Okay, can we talk about something else now? How’s your book coming along?”

Later
that night, as Jack drove her home, Tess thought about what a nice evening she’d had, despite its beginnings. The martini, the food, the atmosphere at the restaurant, talking and laughing with Jack . . . she let out a sigh as she looked up at the sliver of the moon.

“
What?” Jack asked.

“
Nothing. It was a wonderful evening. Even if it started off rocky.” It had been a long time since she remembered feeling so good.