Mr. Darcy's Promise (26 page)

Elizabeth could imagine Mr. Darcy giving Serafina the cryptic message apologizing for intruding earlier, but making it sound like he
was apologizing for missing dinner. “You know, I got this bump on my head because I was following your advice.”

“Which advice were you attempting to follow, madam? Because I doubt I ever told you to fall into a river and break open your head.”

Elizabeth laughed, enjoying Serafina’s tart response. Speaking with her was beginning to feel increasingly like it did when she talked with Jane. “I was about to ask him to kiss me when our feet slipped on the rocks.” She saw Serafina’s gaze rise in surprise.

“Truly?
And did he kiss you?”

“No, not yet.
It did not quite get that far because I blacked out then. I have never been so nervous! It may seem like I have confidence but I do not want him to think me wanton!”

Serafina smiled. “I am sure Mr. Darcy would not think you wanton. His valet, Martin, is sure of it.”

Hearing the revelation that Serafina knew what his valet thought reminded her that servants talk amongst themselves. She was not quite sure how she felt about this. “Serafina, I know we have talked about a great deal, but I hope what we say to each other is kept in confidence.”

“Do not you
worry, my loyalty is to you and you alone. Mr. Darcy knows nothing of what you have disclosed, but if I may be so bold, I think he
should
know how you feel. May I say one other thing?” She twisted the braid up high on Elizabeth’s head and pinned it.

“Certainly.”

“You deserve him. He is the best of men and he has given his heart to the best of women.”

*****

Dinner was a quiet ordeal. Georgiana was still somber and Richard had gone to help with the emergency. Elizabeth’s head was still sore, and so she and her sister-in-law made poor company for each other. Afterwards, Georgiana excused herself, leaving Elizabeth alone.

Elizabeth made her way to the front door to speak with the butler. “Mr. Reynolds, have you heard any updates on the emergency that took Mr. Darcy away?”

“No madam, the situation is the same as he told you.” Mr. Reynolds said.

Elizabeth didn’t quite understand what he meant because William never came and told her what the emergency was. She hadn’t seen him again since the scene in her dressing room.
Awareness dawned on her. He probably had meant to tell her what was going on, but the state of her dress, or undress, prevented it. She was going to have to extract the information casually if she were to calm her mind. It had been over two hours since he had left and she was beginning to worry. What would keep him out after dark? “I was hoping for some more information.”

Reynolds said, “The last update was that the fire was still going strong and threatening the orchard.”

Fire? She needed more information. “Which orchard, the orange grove or the apple?” Her heart raced, imagining him fighting a fire.

“Not Pemberley’s orchard, madam, a tenant’s orchard. The house was engulfed, however, and is a complete loss.”

“Thank you. Will you please tell Mr. Darcy I am in the library when he gets in?” Her mind was reeling. William was out fighting a house fire?

“I do not think it will be for some time though. I am instructed to make sure you rest and take care of yourself. Perhaps you should retire and I will have him wake you when he gets in.”

Elizabeth shook her head, “No, certainly not. I will just be in the library reading. You will tell him when he comes in?”

“As you wish.
Can I send for something? Would you like a blanket or a fire started?”

She nodded. “Please. Thank you, Reynolds.” She left to go to her chambers to fetch her book. Her head was spinning, but not because she had hit her head earlier. This time it was imagining his handsome face and warm hands getting burned, or the building collapsing and
trapping him inside. Her heart ached at the sudden thought of losing him.
I cannot lose him! He means too much to me!
She felt her worry and pain grow with each step up the stairs.
If only there was something I could do!
She reached her chamber and retrieved her book from the nightstand.
Sense and Sensibility,
by a Lady. It was the book William had picked out for her the day he found her sliding on the ladder. She was only halfway through it, but had enjoyed it so far, and reading it now would be a comfort to her.

By the time she reached the library the maid was nearly finished starting the fire. “Thank you, Ann. Do you think you could bring a bottle of wine as well? My head is still throbbing, and it seemed to help some before.” What she really wanted was something for her nerves, not her head, and wine would do the trick. Ann curtsied and left, leaving Elizabeth to the empty library and the small consolation of her book. The cataloging process didn’t seem to be making much progress, as there were books everywhere still. Elizabeth shifted over a pile on the chaise and settled there before opening her book to begin to read.

It wasn’t long before the maid came in with the wine. She noticed that there were two glasses and she poured herself a glass. Her heart began to pound inside her chest once again. The longing she felt to hold him and know that he was safe was unbearable. He had grown to mean so much to her. She thought of her conversation with Serafina a few days ago about her feelings for him. She had admitted her attraction to him then but didn’t know what to call the feelings she felt. Was it love? She took a drink of her wine. She cared deeply for him, respected him, admired him, and trusted him. She appreciated him, was grateful for him, and she was . . . she was attached to him in a way that she could not describe. Her heart had grown so close to his that the thought of losing him tore it apart. Her body ached to be held by him, to smell him, and to finally kiss him. She wanted to spend every moment she could with him, and wanted every conversation she had with him to be permanently etched into her brain.

She relished the time she had with him. Meeting with him had quickly proved to be the highlight of her day, no matter what they did together. They shared moments of companionable silence, and happy
moments where she saw the now-familiar smile touch his eyes. They had moments where they flirted with each other. They had moments where all the social rules seemed to fly out the window and they were simply themselves. She realized then where her thoughts were leading her. She felt like herself when she was around him; he was family to her. But he was more than just family. He was her friend, her companion, her husband, and she loved him. 

The realization was both comforting and painful. “I love him,” she said out loud. She drew in a deep breath and said it again. “I love him!” Why did she have to realize this now when he was out in so much danger! Perhaps it was the idea of losing him that made her confront how dear he was to her. She poured herself more wine. This was going to be a very long night. She curled her feet underneath her and reopened her book. She was determined to stay awake until he came home. She had to see he was safe.

She drank a little more wine. She couldn’t tell if this new realization or the wine was relaxing her. It wasn’t helping the throbbing in her head much. The warm fire filled the room and soon she found her eyes were growing heavy. She closed her book and placed it on the table with all the other books.
It will not hurt to close my eyes a little. After all, Reynolds promised to send him in.
She allowed herself to stretch out a little on the chaise, and in no time at all, her weary body and mind were fast asleep.

*****

Darcy’s body ached from all the exertion of first the walk and now the fire. He shook Richard’s hand, “Thank you Richard, you were a real asset tonight.” He met his cousin’s gaze and smiled ruefully. “I do think you will have to throw away those clothes though, not only are they full of smoke but it looks like you got singed a few times.”

They entered the vestibule. He saw Reynolds was in a chair, half-dozing, although he immediately stood, stretching. “Reynolds, what are you doing still awake? It is nearly two in the morning! There was no need for you to wait up for me!”

“Yes sir, there was, Mrs. Darcy is waiting for you in the library. Now that I have told you so, my old body is free to retire.”

“Thank you, Reynolds. It will probably be a late morning for the household, so please take the morning off.” Then, turning to Richard, he said, “I had best see to my wife. Thank you again.”

He took a candle from the hallway sconce and made his way to the library. He opened the door and was greeted with the beauty of his sleeping wife. Her curls had come undone and were draped over the chaise edge, while her delicate feet peeked out from underneath her blanket. He reached carefully over, adjusting the blanket so all of her was covered. He put down the candle and carefully lifted her head and shoulders before he sat down, allowing her to rest against him. He wished he could smell her toilette water, but anything like that was overwhelmed by the thick, sooty scent of the fire. He gazed at the shimmer of her profile, and for the first time really noticed the shape of her ears, which were small and shell-like. He brushed the back of his fingers gently against her face. He traced her brow and her cheekbones, down her jaw and back up to her lips. His hands were still filthy from the smoke and soot, and he told himself he should not touch her until he was completely clean, but could not bring himself to stop caressing her features. He took a deep breath and let it out.
Perhaps I should not have let myself think on the moment in the stream like I did
.
He ached to hold her and tell her how much he loved her. His fingers touched her lips again and he groaned.
I definitely should not have allowed my thoughts to get carried away.
He saw her squirm and he removed his hand from her face and placed it on her shoulder.

Elizabeth could smell smoke. She opened her eyes and realized she had slept much longer than she intended to. The room was cold, and the fire had died down, leaving just the faintest gleam of embers.

“I did not mean to wake you, but I was told you wanted to see me?” Darcy said quietly.

Elizabeth sat bolt upright at the sound of his voice. He was here, and blessedly safe! She threw off the blanket, shifting immediately to a kneeling position so she could throw her arms around his neck. She felt his arms reach around her body in return. “William!
Oh, William!” When she lost her balance, he caught her waist and held her close. “Are you all right?” she cried.

Now that she was wrapped up in his arms he was more than all right, Darcy reflected. “Perfect, I would say.” He smiled.

She pulled away from his neck a few inches and looked intently at his face. His eyes were dark, especially in the dim light, but she could tell from the faint creases that he was smiling. He was extremely handsome when his eyes smiled. She began to feel just how intimate it was to be sitting on his lap, but she couldn’t move. It felt right to be in his arms. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw his eyes move down to her lips and back up to her eyes. The moment was golden. She would try to be as direct as possible. She tilted her head to the side, closed her eyes and leaned closer to his face.

Oh, Elizabeth!
He met her halfway and touched her lips with his, moving ever so gently. She responded with moving her hands up to his hair and grasping handfuls of it. He kissed her again and again, allowing each kiss to linger a little longer, and to explore her lips with greater fervor until he found himself needing to catch his breath. He had waited for so long for this moment, but it was more than he had dared let himself imagine. A soft moan escaped her mouth, but she did not release her hold on him. Her response to the kiss was invigorating. He let his hands reach around to her back and her neck and caressed her, his embrace pressing her body against his. He could feel the rapidity of her breath, the heat of her body, and pulled her even closer to continue kissing her.

Elizabeth had never known such pleasure. She wanted every part of him, to hold him close and feel him next to her. This new, strange heat that she felt spread throughout her body like wildfire. Their kisses deepened, and she then tasted him on her lips. Her heart beat fiercely. Sooner than she was ready, he slowed the kissing and she felt him release his grip on her. She opened her eyes as he spoke.

“Dearest Elizabeth . . .” He felt her lay her head on his chest, her cheeks pressed against his shirt. He kept his arms wrapped around her and said, “I lied to you a moment ago.” He could feel her stiffen slightly.

“What do you mean?”

“I said I was perfect, but now I know what perfect really feels like.” She relaxed back into his embrace.

They sat there with her on his lap for a long time. The clock chimed three times, indicating an hour had passed. She had her arms around his neck, her face nestled against it, and he had one hand on her waist. The other moved in mindless circles against her back and shoulders. The silence between them was surely priceless. There was so much to say between them, but for the moment he needed nothing but to hold her, although he knew it could not last. He had just experienced a moment that only begged for more. He wanted only to tilt her head back up and kiss her again and again. But, he reminded himself sternly, a single moment of bliss with her was still not an offer to him to take her to his room. As much as he wanted nothing but to love her further, at some point he would have to part with her for the night. He gathered all the strength he had and said, “Elizabeth, you should probably go to bed.”