Motown Showdown (30 page)

Now that I let that sink in and realized how fucking depressing it was, I started doing shots.

My sister would not fucking budge. She also did not share intel with Rome, so I was desperate when I dialed Whisky. The very last motherfucker that wanted to talk to me. “I’m in rehab, fuckface; the hell do you want?”

Shit, what did I want? “Will you tell me if she’s okay?”

“By okay you mean heart ripped out, fucking depressed and licking her wounds? Then yeah, fuck face, she’s spectacular.”

“Odds of you telling me where she is?”

“Bro, I don’t know you but what I do know is a female like Camo dedicates her God damn life to saving my ass? I wouldn’t let her heart get ripped out, suffer depression or lick her fucking wounds. If that man were me, she’d be blissed out. She would not be second guessing what brought her to licking those God damn wounds in the first place. We on the same page?”

“Yeah, Whisky,” I mumble feeling worse now than I did before I called. “Message received.”

“Now,” he says taking a breath. “If I were a fuckface like you, I’d go to her building and maybe bust in. I’d do that because busting in would notify her house sitter. ‘Cuz fuckface, the only shot you got at finding her is that house sitter. If he doesn't kill you, that is.”

“I appreciate the intel, but I have one more question.”

“Of course you do,” he deadpans. “It’s not like I’m in fucking rehab or anything.”

Ignoring the sarcasm I ask, “How many times has she saved your ass?”

In a soft voice I did not think a man like Whisky was capable of, he tells me, “Even after I shook her trust and threatened her, she took me back when she saw I was sorry. Who the fuck you think is paying for rehab, Gadget? She wants what’s best for me, even when I don’t know what that is. If you’re talkin’ kills, that ain’t your concern. She’s there when I need her most, that’s all you need to know.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck. And she sends me cookies.”

“She doesn’t cook,” I point out.

“Don’t matter, she sends them anyway.”

And that sums up Camo. A tiny female that knows what’s best for you, even when you don’t.

My wounds were superficial and healing. But fuck the wounds, those didn’t bother me. It was my God damn heart only half beating that was. The lovebirds were back to their old routine, and that just left me, alone and miserable.

My calls went unanswered, my texts too. She even let our games expire. Camo was well and truly gone. I went by her building faithfully, but it was always silent. Her ride was under the awning; her lights came on at precisely seven pm every night which meant she wasn’t coming back anytime soon. She ran the wire from here, worked here, and slept here so tonight, I decided I was breaking in.

The answer to finding her was inside that building; the answer was Bobo. Kandace gave me the layout and Rome was coming with me as back up. Running a few errands to kill time, I was back at Rome’s just after sunset. Climbing in, he looks over at me and smiles. “You do know her place is probably booby-trapped and we’ll get killed for trying this right?”

“You want out?”

“Fuck no,” he laughs. “Two black guys casing a building? This sounds like fun. But if the cops come, I’m hauling ass. Not going back to prison over your fuck up.”

Pulling around back, we both hit the back door, and he watches me pick the lock. Upon entering, I expected spotlights, gunfire or at the very least, an alarm. I got none of these things. Walking up the steps and looking around I was in awe of her personal space. The loft was small, enough for her. To the left was her network where she ran the wire, and it was fucking impressive. The main floor was a lot of vintage shit like car parts, signs, and mannequins. I loved the mannequins because that meant she practiced a lot. To the left of her loft was a small sitting space filled with photos of…
me
.

She loved me once
…

Standing in the open space that served as her bedroom, I saw the covers in a heap on the floor. There was even a half empty bottle of liquor lying on the mattress. Lifting what I believed to be a photo album, I realized quickly it was a scrapbook. Opening it up, I felt the emotion choke me and sat on the bed. Each page was about me. Each page was what she
loved
about me. She called it
Gadget’s Book of Good Deeds
. Fuck, she added glitter and jewels to it too.

Please love me again…

“Nothing happened,” he says coming up behind me. “That’s bad right? Wait, what’s with the scrapbook?”

Before I could say yeah, that is bad and not to worry about the scrapbook, I heard a shotgun getting racked and looking over my shoulder I see Bobo ready to shoot. “Figured you’d show,” he says balancing the gun on his shoulder. “But you’re late, she’s gone.”

“Odds of you telling me where she went?”

“Slim to none,” he says not giving me an inch. “You took me away from my movie, Gadget, mind telling me why?”

“I need the chance to make this right. A chance to fix this. To do that, I need to see her face to face so we can talk it out.”

“You lay it on me, I decide if she needs to hear it, but before you say shit, you’re gonna hear me out.”

Nodding to him he motions us to take a seat, and we do. Rome looks amused, but it’s taking everything I’ve got to sit here knowing she’s out there, alone. But this man raised her, trained her and loved her. He also had that shotgun pointed at my chest. I could hear her teasing me, something like;
twenty bucks says he’s long winded
.

Fuck, I missed her.

“Pepper never could sit still, wore us all out. So fucking happy, smart and full of mischief. The good kind. She’s always had a heart of gold. Even when we lost them, she still pushed on, determined to make me happy. Shouldn’t have had her do it, killing those responsible, but it was her right, I thought. But then again I just lost my son and his wife, I wasn’t thinking straight. The instinct was always there, but I forced it out too soon. Didn’t let her have a childhood, make friends and go to dances. She didn’t want none of that shit; she wanted to right wrongs, and I told myself that made it okay.” Taking a deep breath the fight leaves him, and he sags a bit. “The day she saw you, everything changed. My granddaughter lived for you when she was just a kid and loved you from the get. Hear me when I say, she loved
everything
about you. She cannot comprehend selfless acts. That’s not a flaw, it’s who she is, and she’s the straight killer she was raised to be. She lives for justice, vengeance. But she saw you do selfless things, and she was proud, even though she didn’t understand it. Them pictures in that book?” he points to my hands. “It’s of you doing good deeds. Saving people, retrieving kids, reuniting families. She thought you were a hero for doing it. My girl never understood that every time she put her life in harm’s way to save yours or another player’s, it was a selfless act.”

Muttering a “Fuck,” at hearing this, he squares his shoulders and continues. “She heard them get murdered. She was in her tree when it happened, but
she heard
. Then she saw them lying in blood,
she saw
. It was a long time until she told me she tried saving them but was too late. She used to scream in her sleep;
I didn’t make it in time
. Her nightmares were always the same. Feeling helpless. Made it my job that she never was helpless again. I taught her everything I know, and she soaked it up. But the one thing I could not teach her was how to protect her heart. That was not my skill set. Camo shows she cares by telling jokes and protecting what she believes is hers by any means necessary. My girl may have the mind of a killer, but she has a heart of glass. All along she was showing you in her way, the only way she knew. When you told her you didn’t want her help and never did, she only heard
I don’t love you and never will.
”

“Fuck me,” Rome whispers. “I told you she loved you a lot.”

“She put her life on the line for you willingly, Gadget; that’s on her. But you took advantage of my girl, broke her heart and sent her running to heal herself and that’s on
you.
So I’m asking you to leave her be, let her live her life. Find a man that can love her how she deserves, for
who she is
. Hate to say it, Gadget, but as history proves, you ain’t him.”

Then Kandace’s words come back to me about thinking of her with another man and the growl that left me couldn’t be helped. “I mean no disrespect,” I tell him standing still holding the scrapbook. “But you are full of shit, old man. You
know
how I feel, I know because it’s written all over your face. You also know why I did what I did. I’m not saying it was right, but I had her best interest in mind when I did it. Now I’ll find her with or without your help. Though, with help I’ll bring her home sooner rather than later.”

“Good answer,” he says handing me a picture. The front is Camo in full gear standing in front of a Jet Ski waving. The back said
you could be here if you stopped watching pornos, love Pepper
.

Then he handed me a piece of paper, it had the name of her resort and even her room number on it. “Jobs are still pouring in and they require teamwork, if you follow.” I agree to this with a smile. “Bring her home,” he says nodding to us both.

“Yes sir,” I nod back signaling Rome it was time to leave. Back in the truck he looks over and asks,

“You really going?”

“Brother, in my mind I’m already gone,” then dropped his ass off to Kandace and hit Metro Airport.

“Had a run in with Gadget,” he says out of the blue.

“Is that so?”

“Yep.”

“Feel like sharing?”

“Nope.”

“Are you trying to drive me insane?”

“Yep,” he says smugly. “How’d I do?”

“Mission accomplished, Bobo.”

“Welp, movie’s starting.”

And with that, he blew me off for porn.

I’ve been in paradise for nearly three weeks and was pretty much over it by the second day. I’ve done the local stuff. Fishing, snorkeling, boat rides and beach volleyball. It’s not like I didn’t try. But the truth was, when you lived for the kill it takes a lot more than fishing to make an impression. Sitting on the side of a fucking boat, with a line in the water was not enjoyable to me. In fact, nothing this resort offered was enjoyable to me. It was fluff, surface and predictable.

Letting out a sigh, I knew I would need to get over this. If I was truly letting that life go, I would have to find something to replace that thrill.
And
it sure as fuck wasn’t fishing
…

Armed only with alcohol and a killer tan, I admitted to myself that I was seriously homesick. I only stayed because I wanted to sort my head out and didn’t want Bobo or Kandace up in my ass while I did. But I wasn’t having any success sorting it out because my life was tied to his and always would be. All I ever wanted was for him to be happy. He had a sadness about him I could never figure out. I wanted to make him smile, and it was comforting to know that for a while, I did. Gadget wasn’t just a hitter. He would never admit it, but his heart wasn’t in the game like mine was. His heart was helping others because he liked to fix problems. Not that I fault him for that, I don’t. Personally, I think it’s kick ass even if I never wanted to do it. Shit, I had my own problems to fix. However, it didn’t take long to realize he took the hits but was so focused on fixing problems, it left him vulnerable. So I had to watch his back. Because watching him do good things made me feel like maybe through him, I was doing something good too.

I should have let him fix me. I should have let him feel needed
…

I should have done a lot of things.

These thoughts bring me to Cinn, wondering how she’s doing. Where my story was depressing, hers was just fucked up. She’s loved Monarch since she was thirteen, but he’s been kept from her. Always out of her reach because the whack job holding onto her claimed to love her more. That same whack job didn’t even mind her not loving him back as long as he owned her. But Cinn and Monarch have loved each other for years, and neither one knew how the other felt. Yep, fucked up.