Mothers and Daughters (32 page)

Perhaps Freya hoped by encouraging Nick to take his children on site he might be dissuaded from scattering his own seeds around, Alice thought acidly.

‘I felt the children’s needs were a priority and Nick felt left out and…’ she shrugged, ‘you know the rest, after all you’re a grandmother now, not, I assume, in the way you hoped it to happen.’

‘You’re right, but is it so strange to want one’s children to conform, settle down with lovely, uncomplicated and unattached people and have children with them?’ Alice said with a sigh.

‘Of course not. And in your case, you had the perfect marriage to such a special man. You must miss him dreadfully, especially with all this going on,’ Freya said with sympathy. ‘All the women round here envied you for having him, and he loved you so.’

Before Alice could answer, the door burst open and Lexie stood there, hands on her non-existent hips. ‘Jonty says I’m not going to be a bridesmaid at Laura’s wedding but I am aren’t I, Mum? He says I’m too brattish, but I’m not am I? Am I, Alice? Laura said I could, be so I am?’

Alice, confronted with this resolute little person knew, like Laura before her, she could not refuse her.

It was two weeks before the wedding. Laura’s beautiful wedding dress waited for the big day in her cupboard, the menus were decided, the venue booked and the cake baked and ready to decorate and it was full steam ahead. As the day crept forward, Alice kept her misgivings to herself. Laura, who’d moved back home, seemed happy enough, but she was not shining with passion and excitement, but then that wasn’t really her style, and how could she tell if Laura’s nerves were not dampening down passionate feelings of love for this kind but to her mind dull man?

As the days slipped by, Alice could not help but compare the two of them to her and Julian in their early days together, their love and passion for each other all consuming, but then the sick feeling gripped her. It was not quite as rosy as she thought. She must give Laura more credit for her choices. She was going into this union with her eyes open, coping with an ex-wife, a difficult mother-in-law and two children, one, if not both, needing extra support. Laura was not some naïve adolescent; both of the girls had been encouraged to choose their own friends and Laura had chosen Douglas and wanted to marry him, and she must accept him into the family with open arms and do all she could to support her daughter, instead of wasting her energies on wishing it wasn’t happening.

Petra came round to help her decorate the cake; she’d done a course in cake decoration and was brilliant at it. As they grappled with mounds of white icing sugar – the kitchen seeming to be powdered with sweet-scented snow – they gossiped, mainly about Margot and Glen.

‘How do we know what these men are up to in their offices all day?’ Petra started. ‘We have to trust them to be doing what they say they are doing, and anyway how could Margot know if Glen was on the fiddle unless…’ She paused, a worried expression creasing her face, ‘I mean, she might have wondered why she could suddenly buy those ridiculously expensive handbags or be given new jewellery and fly first class to exotic places. I certainly would, when before, though money was good, it didn’t stretch to such luxuries.’

‘I’m sure he wasn’t fiddling, I mean some of these people in these financial firms do earn zillions these days with all those shares and bonuses and what not.’ Alice was concerned about them too, but she didn’t want to condemn Glen until it was proved he had done something wrong, though she remembered how he never talked about his job, saying he’d rather leave his work in his office. ‘But there are so many rules and regulations these days, I suppose one could get caught out,’ she finished.

‘Yes there are, but presumably you have to keep abreast of them,’ Petra said. ‘It’s amazing when there’s trouble in a company how many extremely well paid and senior people profess not to know anything about it. When Hugo was seducing every passable woman, no one seemed to have noticed at all,’ she sighed, thinking of the treachery of her ex-husband.

‘True,’ Alice smiled at her sympathetically. The fallout of Petra and Hugo’s marriage had been spectacular and very painful. Their daughter, then in her early teens, bearing the brunt of it, while Petra retaliated by indulging herself in a series of love affairs, surely to prove that she was a woman worth loving.

‘I wish Frank would tell us what’s going on, he’s reporting on the scandal, isn’t he?’ Petra regarded her intently. ‘You’d think he’d drop a few hints.’

‘I don’t expect him to, until his report is finished,’ Alice said.

Frank had come round a couple of evenings ago looking pale and tired and Laura had asked him about the case.

‘Can’t say anything,’ he’d said with a weary smile. ‘It’s highly complicated, as these things often are, so I’m going to be hard at it for the next few weeks.’

‘But you can still come to the wedding, give me away?’ Laura sounded anguished.

‘Of course, wouldn’t miss that for the world, but I’d have liked to spend more time with you all.’ His eyes skimmed over Alice and she’d felt a jolt of anxiety. Had he other secrets to tell her about Julian? ‘When are Evie and the baby arriving?’ he asked.

‘Next week, Tuesday,’ Alice told him.

‘She’s got a new boyfriend,’ Laura said.

‘Oh, is he nice?’ Frank turned to Alice to see her reaction.

‘We don’t know, we haven’t met him yet, but he’s her age and not married, or got any children,’ Laura said, getting up to fetch the wine bottle to pour them more wine.

‘That’s a relief,’ Frank said.

‘You don’t know with Evie, he’s bound to have some complication in his life. Talking of complications, Frank, I can’t believe Dad had a son all the time. I wish he’d told us; I always wanted an older brother,’ Laura said. ‘Tell us all about him, Dad should have told us, but as he didn’t, you’ve got to.’ She eyed him fiercely.

‘Don’t bully Frank, he’s had a long day and it’s not really up to him.’ Alice didn’t want to hear any more about it.

‘She’s right; you should know everything,’ Frank said, ‘though there’s not much to say. Your father, long before he met your mother, had a brief fling with my sister, Sarah, and Ned was born in the US where she went to study. She met someone else and married him and Greg accepted Ned, brought him up with the other children they had later, though Ned always knew who his father was.’

‘But we didn’t, why didn’t he tell us? It’s not like he had a baby with some dreadful woman… Like a…’ she searched for a word.

Frank jumped in, ‘No, it’s not, and I don’t know why he didn’t tell you. Ned was brought up in America until he grew up and came here occasionally to study and perhaps then it was too late to tell you. When your father married your mother, I assumed he’d tell her about him, and perhaps there never seemed to be the right time. I don’t know.’ He studied his wine glass as if he didn’t want to face Alice.

‘Does he… Ned know about us?’ Laura went on as if she were interrogating him.

‘I think his mother told him, but to be honest I don’t know how or when he was told. I didn’t see an awful lot of him when he was little, but when he came to London to do an internship I lent him the flat. I didn’t see much of him then either as I was working all over the world, but you’ll all like him and we must arrange a meeting when he’s next over.’ He smiled as if they were talking about the son of a friend not the illegitimate son of her husband. Alice stayed silent afraid she might say something she regretted in front of Laura. She felt she no longer knew the man she’d loved and trusted all these years.

‘So Dad never talked about us to him?’ Laura asked sadly.

‘I just don’t know, Laura, I’m sorry. The few times I saw Ned when he was an adult we seemed to talk about the things he was studying, as I’m in the same field, or he’d tell me about some girl he’d met, film he’d seen. We didn’t see a lot of each other, but I’ll arrange for you all to meet up next time he is here.’ He finished his drink and got up. ‘Sorry, but I’ve got to get back to my work. Ring me if you need anything and I’ll pop round when I can.’ Frank kissed them both quickly on the cheek and made reluctantly for the door as if he found it hard to leave the comfortable room with its pretty furnishings and the company of the two women.

‘Are you here for Christmas?’ he asked Alice as she followed him into the hall.

‘We thought we’d go to the cottage. I’ve ordered everything from the butcher down there. He makes the stuffing, puts bacon round prunes and sausages, all the fiddly bits. It costs a bit more but it’s worth it this time with the wedding. Laura and Douglas are coming as his ex-wife is over and she’s taking the children to her parents,’ Alice said, relieved that the plans had been made for her and she would not be alone.

‘And Evie and Raffi?’ he asked as he made for the door.

‘They’ll be there,’ she said, not knowing if Luke would be with them too. Everything she used to count on was changing and she must change with it.

‘And you, Frank, where will you spend it?’

‘Skiing with my children,’ he said. ‘I’d ask you to join us but you seem to be tied up already.’ He smiled, ‘We’ll go another time,’ and he kissed her quickly on her cheek and left.

Alice watched Petra now with admiration as she skilfully piped a latticework pattern over the sides of the cake, in each square she stuck a delicately painted sugar flower, the effect was simple but stunning.

Petra’s work took so much concentration that their discussion of Frank’s part in Margot and Glen’s drama was put aside, and then Laura appeared and exclaimed with wonder at the beautiful cake, showing far more excitement than Alice had ever seen her show with Douglas.

‘Time we went, Mum,’ Evie said, hauling up Raffi asleep in his baby carrier. Frank wondered if it was a good idea to bring such a small baby to the wedding, though he understood that a friend of Evie’s was coming to collect him during the reception so she could stay on as long as she wanted.

It was almost time they left for the church and he felt the longer Alice hovered around Laura, the more she’d feel Julian’s loss on such an important day.

He’d arrived just before lunchtime with a ready-made lunch he’d picked up from Fortnum’s with tiny sandwiches, gulls eggs, little squares of cheese, and large, luscious grapes and a chilled bottle of champagne.

‘Oh, Frank, how perfect, you are a star,’ Evie exclaimed. ‘I’m starving and we’ve nothing here.’

‘Thanks so much, Frank, but I don’t dare eat much in case I can’t fit into my dress,’ Laura said.

‘You won’t put weight on at once and you need to eat something, we don’t want you fainting at the altar,’ Alice joked, but Frank could see how much of an ordeal she was finding this. It would surely be better when she had left the house, was somewhere away from Julian’s shadow.

‘We won’t be far behind you, but you want to be in your place,’ he said, gently steering Alice towards the front door, wishing he could hold her close, soothe away her pain at missing Julian on this special day. All he could do was to carry out his duties as ‘giver away’ of the bride, though it made him feel a little like the spectre at the feast.

‘Yes, we must go,’ Alice said, taking a deep breath, and with one last look at Laura standing in the middle of the living room the beautiful bride, her veil like a soft cloud around her, she blew her a kiss and turned towards the door and left the room, with Evie fussing round, collecting up all Raffi’s paraphernalia.

Frank hustled them out to the waiting car and helped them in. The car to take him and Laura glided up to take their place as they left. There was plenty of time to get to the church but they should leave fairly soon. He went back inside to Laura; she was his priority now.

She looked wonderful, her brown hair shone like silk, softly framing her face, the veil held by a band of white and the palest pink flowers. She smiled nervously at him. In the bustle to get ready, snacking on the lunch, having a bath and changing into her dress had taken on a rhythm of its own and now all was done, her mother and sister gone and the two of them were alone in the house waiting to leave, seeing out the last minutes of her old life before starting a new one as Douglas’s wife and stepmother to his children.

‘You look beautiful. Your father would be very proud of you.’ He took her hand and squeezed it.

‘Do you think he would be?’ she asked, not moving from the middle of the living room where she stood to make space for her dress which skimmed over her figure, the skirt swirling out by her feet.

‘Yes, I’m sure of it.’ He didn’t add that he wished he were here. His absence loomed so large, cast a shadow over all of them and he wondered how many times others would remark on it today.

‘It seems so odd, unreal, me in this dress waiting to get married, must be worse though for Mum, thinking of her wedding day and Dad not here. Did you go to their wedding, Frank, what was it like?’

Of all the many weddings he’d been to over the years he’d never forgotten Alice and Julian’s, the day he’d known for sure that Alice would never be his.

‘Yes,’ he said, ‘I did go. I was Julian’s best man. Your mother was so young, younger than you even, and your father… Well, he looked very distinguished, so proud of her, both so in love.’ He smiled at Laura though his heart ached. He had been in love with Alice himself but seeing her with Julian he’d known he didn’t stand a chance, and the last thing he wanted was to spoil their relationship, so he’d stayed away, made his life in France.

‘What was she like then, my mother?’ Laura asked. ‘I can’t imagine her younger than me, did she do mad things, like she says she’d going to do now?’

‘I’m sure she did, but I didn’t meet her until she was almost engaged to your father and he had tamed her a bit, but she’s as she is now, a bit older of course and a mother, but she still has the same magic.’ If only he hadn’t lost her trust by destroying her image of a man she thought was a perfect husband.

‘Oh, Frank, you sound as if you’re a little in love with her yourself,’ Laura teased him.

He smiled back, ‘Do I? Well, you’re the one in love today and we better get you to the church.’