More Than This: A More Novella (8 page)

I
woke
up before my alarm, all warm and naked and pressed up against Roar’s back.

He was still asleep, another testament to just how much he needed his sleep.

I slid out of bed as quietly as I could so I didn’t wake him, and tip-toed out of the room to take a shower.

My impending meeting with Jasmin weighed on me—if she was even willing to talk to me. She was Hedda’s best friend, surely she’d think I was just as much a home wrecker as Hedda thought.

The warm water was good, and I took meticulous care with the shaving. Not that there was much to shave, considering I always took care with it, but I took it extra careful so I didn’t cut myself.

Sex with Roar…

It had been amazing.

I hadn’t had sex since Magnus—but Roar was in another category all together. For one thing he didn’t pester me constantly about it, and he didn’t care only for his own pleasure and comfort.

Roar had worried about me, if he was too heavy, if it had hurt, and afterwards he’d cuddled me.

It had been a much better experience with Roar, yes. And I wanted more.
Much more
.

I finished my shower, wrapped myself up in a towel, wrapped my hair in a towel. Since I hadn’t brought any clothes with me into the bathroom, I had to go back into my room like this.

Roar had turned onto his back in my absence, his head turned away from me, but he was clearly still asleep.

“Roar?” It was about time to get up, if he wanted to take a shower before school too. “Roar?” I put a knee on the bed and reached down to shake his shoulder.

He tried to roll away.

“So you’re clearly not a morning person.” I chuckled as I reached out to grip his shoulder again.

He sat up straight at the same time as his hand locked around my wrist, twisting it.

I gasped in both surprise and pain. “Roar?”

He blinked himself into consciousness, slowly turned his head to stare at me, then he dropped his grip on my wrist as if he’d been burned. “Maria, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” I massaged my wrist and his gaze followed my movements. “Honestly, it’s fine.” It had only hurt when he’d grabbed hold and twisted, but it was fine now. A dull ache, but it slowly subsided.

He dropped his head into his hands. “What time is it? How long have I been asleep?”

“It’s morning. We’ve got school in an hour.” I sat down on the bed. “I figured you’d want a shower before we left?”

He lowered his hands slowly, finally taking in my appearance. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Does your stepfather attack you when you’re sleeping?” I asked, because nothing else could explain his reaction to being shaken awake.

“It’s been known to happen,” he muttered as he leant over the edge of the bed to search for his clothes.

No wonder he’d slept so long. He could never relax when he finally got to sleep at home.

“Go take a shower. The towels are in the cabinet under the sink.”

I tried not to watch as he threw the duvet away to pull on his boxers, but I couldn’t help but sneak a peak. And really, we’d had
sex
, there was no harm in seeing him naked the morning after.

He pulled on his jeans too, but left his upper body bare as he grabbed his bag and slipped out of the room.

Is it just me or was this slightly awkward?

I sighed and headed over to my closet, hoping it wouldn’t continue to be awkward between us once he came back.

I’d only got into panties and a tight vest when he
did
come back.

“Well, that was the world’s fastest shower.” I turned to him as I unwrapped my hair from the towel.

He grinned shyly. “Yeah, well. I figured your uncle’s home now, so I didn’t want to spend too much time.”

“He wouldn’t mind you taking a long shower.”

But he didn’t answer, because his gaze had slowly travelled down my body, taking in my lack of clothes. And he
liked
what he saw.

“Roar…” I threw my towel on the desk and took a step towards him.

He finally met my gaze—and the silent communication we had right then only consisted of three words:
Need you now
.

I didn’t know which one of us moved first, all I knew was we crashed together, bodies, lips, everywhere, and it was
frantic
and
fantastic
.

“Where’d you put the condoms?” he murmured against my lips once we’d moved to the bed. My panties were already off and his jeans were undone.

I fumbled for the bedside table drawer, but came up short.

He chuckled and leaned over to open it, plucking out one of the two packets left.

I didn’t see him open it, because he bent down to kiss me. I didn’t see him roll it on either, because that kiss was
so
good. But then his dick nudged against me and I spread my thighs wider, welcoming him.

It went a lot faster than our sexual escapade the day before, a lot wilder.

I grabbed onto the sheets as he thrust into me, right up against that legendary G-spot.

“Oh fuck!” I clutched at the duvet, the sheets,
him
, whatever I could get my hands on.

His lips descended on mine again, and we kissed sloppily through our shared pleasure. One of his hands gripped my thigh, hiking my leg up higher, while the other ran over my chest.

My nipples were hard pebbles through my thin vest and he pinched them.

I moaned loudly into his mouth, clutching at his neck now to keep myself right there against him.

Nice and slow was all well and good—but quick and rough sure weren’t bad either! In fact, this right here and right now was so overwhelming, so over-consuming, that I could feel my orgasm build.

I’d never orgasmed so quickly before, nor from simply vaginal penetration. It was
wonderful
.

I closed my eyes and hugged him tighter through it, then let my arms drop listlessly down on the bed for that post-orgasmic bliss I hadn’t felt in so long.

He still thrust into me, through his own orgasm, and I was
so
sensitive— but then he came, and he pulled all the way out, and he collapsed next to me on the bed.

We lay for a while in silence, simply letting our bodies calm down.

“Fuck.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, staring dazedly up at the ceiling. Once I managed to string a sentence together, however, I turned my head to look at him. “Are we all right, Roar?”

He looked at me. “I don’t know… aren’t we?”

“I think we are.” I frowned slightly. “I just detected some awkwardness earlier. I don’t want us to be awkward.”

His chest rose and fell quickly. “What do you want us to be?”

I licked my lips, nervous all of a sudden when I hadn’t been at all before. Apparently sex was no biggie, but a whole relationship chat was too much for me to handle. “I don’t want us to be awkward, that’s for sure.”
Say it, Maria. Bloody say it!
“A couple? Boyfriend and girlfriend… that’s what I want.”

He blinked, then turned his head away. “Usually people don’t want to be associated with me.”

“So…?” I had no idea where he was going with that piece of information.

“If I hook up with someone, it’s only for a night, you know. Or in secret, because no one can know they’ve shagged the school’s loser.”

I rolled onto my stomach and propped up so I could look down at him. “You’re not a
loser
.”

“I am.” He gave me an embarrassed smile.

“People think you’re dangerous. You’re always getting into fights, and you show up with bruises and cuts on your face. People are scared of you.”

Now I got his attention again—and his eyes were intense as they gazed into mine. “Why aren’t you? Scared of me? I hurt you earlier. I could’ve done a lot more than simply twist your wrist. So why aren’t you afraid?”

“I startled you. It was my own fault.”

He pressed his lips together. “Isn’t that what women in abusive relationships always say?”

I laughed—I couldn’t help it. “You’re not an abuser, Roar. I startled you, and you’re used to your stepfather beating the shit out of you, so of course you reacted the way you did. I could’ve been him. This was the first night you spent with me. I hope you’ll get more comfortable as we spend more time together.”

“You really want that?” There was something on his face and in his eyes…
hope
. Like he wanted this but didn’t believe he
could
have it.

“Yeah.” I kissed him, and hesitated a long time against his lips before I pulled back. But I only pulled back enough so I could look at him. “I want this. I want you.” I stroked a hand through his hair, messing up his already ruffled wet locks. “You’re not dangerous. Your stepfather is. You’re just trying to make the most out of a shitty situation.”

He wrapped an arm around my waist. “You’ll make a good psychologist.”

I chuckled. “You think so?”

“For how long have you known that’s what you wanted to do?”

“Oh…” I didn’t have to think long about it. “For about two weeks.”

Now he seemed surprised. “Two
weeks
?”

“Yeah.” I flicked my long, wet hair over my shoulder. “I’ve been thinking non-stop about what to do for months, and then I read about the psychology year course in the study handbook from the University in Trondheim… and I thought
I’d like to do this
. So I checked out the bachelor degree, and— yeah, I think it’s the right thing for me.”

“Well, you sure move quickly.”

“I do, yeah, once I figure out what I want.” I was pretty sure our words had a double meaning now. “So what do you say, Roar? Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

I knew he liked me—and pretty sure he wanted to pursue this. But pretty sure wasn’t certain.

He chuckled. “I never pictured you like this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like this.” He motioned to me, searching for words. “So straightforward, so open, so…
confident
.”

I propped my head in the hand. “What did you picture me as then?”

He rolled his head a little against the sheets as he searched for words again. “Sweet, shy. I don’t know. The kind of girl who never does anything wrong, does everything that’s expected of her, someone shy and awkward about sex. Who’d never bring a lad home with her without anyone knowing. But you’re not like that at all.”

“Good. Because she sounds boring.” I was perfectly aware of how my family saw me, as the quiet bookworm who preferred books over people. And to a certain extent that
was
me—but so was this.

I wasn’t fond of throwing around the L-word, but I was quickly getting there with Roar. It was scary, but also exciting, and I’d never felt anything like this before.

It felt a little
dangerous
—like everyone said he was—and I couldn’t get enough.

“She does,” he agreed quietly, smiling softly.

“So is that a yes?”

Another smile split his lips, this one wider, happier. “Yes, Maria, I’d very much like to be your boyfriend.”

I’d squeal, if I did such a thing, but settled for kissing him.

It was better anyway.

As his arms wrapped around me, pulling me down atop him, I knew we weren’t going to get to school in time.

I
n the end
, we both missed our first periods—but it was so worth it. We arrived at school before the bell rang for break, and we had the hallways all to ourselves for a few more minutes.

We spent those minutes wisely, snogging at the bottom of the stairs.

He pushed me up against the wall, and I cupped his face in my hands, all but devouring his lips. He was such a good kisser—kissing had never appealed to me like this with my ex.

“So I’m working tonight,” he said when we pulled back for a break. “But we could go out for dinner after school? My treat this time.”

“I’d like that.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “And you’re staying with me again tonight.” I wasn’t about to let him go home to that bastard of a stepfather he had. I wanted him with me, all safe and sound and preferably with no fresh bruises.

“Is that going to become a habit?” He teased my lip with his teeth.

“Maybe,” I hedged. “Probably.”

“Can’t complain about that.” He pushed up against me, flattening me against the wall. He was taller, wider, and a lot stronger than me—and having all that flush up against me turned me on like nothing else.

The bell rang.

“Dammit.” I thumbed my head back, hitting the wall lightly. “See you at lunch?”

“You bet.” He kissed me one more time, a soft, lingering kiss that neither one of us wanted to end.

“No fighting today.” I took hold of his jumper, feigning sternness, but I
was
serious. “I don’t care what people say about me. Let them talk. It doesn’t matter. Just come join me at lunch and leave them to their sad gossip.”

The sound of hundreds of feet came towards up, both from upstairs and the ground floor.

“No fights.” Another kiss. “I promise.”

We separated. He headed up the stairs while I ventured further ahead into the dance department.

I took my mobile up from my pocket as I walked.

I sent that off to Iselin and went in search of my classroom. No one commented on my absence, simply because everyone had already left the classroom.

Not to mention we had another teacher for second period, so not even that would be taken much notice of.

Upper secondary school was chill. Parents didn’t have to write messages for their kids if they’d been gone from school for a day or an hour or a
minute
. Here we could come and go as we pleased—but it was obviously best to come and
stay
, as we wouldn’t learn much otherwise.

My attendance record was pretty good though, so a few hours here and there wouldn’t drag anything down for me. It wasn’t like universities looked at that—all that mattered to them was the grades.

And when I were to apply for a job… well, they might look at it, but who would honestly put much trust in your attendance record from upper secondary school?

My phone vibrated and I plucked it up out of my pocket again.

Lunch
. I was going to meet Roar for lunch and I was loath to spend that half an hour with
Jasmin
. But whatever information she sat on was important—and I had to find out what it was.

I was about to send a text to Roar when I realised I didn’t have his number—nor was he my friend on Facebook. I didn’t even know his
last name
.

I smiled to myself as I clicked into my Facebook app. Time to make Roar my friend on there, and then maybe… maybe something more.

But nothing came up when I searched for Roar Wangen. Not my Roar, anyway.

Maybe Iselin spelled it wrong?

I tried searching for Roar Vangen, but nothing there either.

“What the hell?” I muttered aloud, then stared up ahead at the empty blackboard.
Who the hell doesn’t have a Facebook nowadays?

And that’s exactly what I was going to ask Roar when we met up at the next fifteen-minute break.

“So who doesn’t have a Facebook nowadays?” I planted myself in front of him, blocking his way out.

He glanced from me to my mobile, which I clutched in one hand.

“I don’t.”

“Why?”
Everyone
had Facebook.

He shrugged. “Why should I have it? It’s not like I’d be very interactive on it.”

“You will
now
. You’ve got me.” I stepped closer to him so I could keep our conversation a little more private. “I was going to add you, only I couldn’t find you. So you haven’t got a Facebook, and I haven’t even got your number.”

He laughed. “I’ll give you my number, Maria.” He held his hand out expectantly and I put my phone in his palm.

He typed in his number and name, then handed it back.

“Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome.” He snorted a laugh. “What did you need my number for anyway?”

“I reckon, at some point, I need to get a hold of you,” I teased. “No, but for real. I have to talk to someone at lunch—if they’ll talk to me, anyway. So until I get there, you can sit with Iselin?”

He raised an eyebrow sceptically.

“She’s nice. And she doesn’t bite.”

“
Not
what I was worried about.”

I tilted my head back slightly so I could look him in the eyes. “What were you worried about then?”

“We’ve got nothing at all in common. I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation with her.”

I couldn’t contain my laughter. “You’re both slightly socially awkward. I think you would get along great.” I patted his chest. “Okay? I have to figure some things out first, but I’ll join you as soon as I can.”

His eyes narrowed slightly. “What do you have to figure out? Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” Hopefully. What I didn’t know couldn’t hurt me and all that. If I was fine later depended on what Jasmin had to say. “I’ll tell you all about it at dinner.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

I would hold
myself
to it. I’d just asked him to be my boyfriend, so I didn’t want to start this relationship off with secrets. But I couldn’t tell him anything before I had some answers myself, so this was it for now.

* * *

O
nce the bell
rang for lunch, I hurried through the corridors towards Iselin’s classroom.
And Roar’s
.

People milled in the hallways, and I spotted both Iselin and Jakob in the throng heading towards the cafeteria.

I spotted Jasmin’s long, dark, thick hair next to a locker. She stood alone, putting her books away, and I hurried over before she got surrounded by her gaggle of bimbo friends.

“Hey, Jasmin.”

She stiffened, then slowly turned around to face me. Her face was carefully made up with make-up, eyebrows finely plucked and currently up in an arch that asked me what the hell I was doing talking to her.

“Can I talk to you?” I clutched my rucksack under one arm, nervous about what would come of this. “Somewhere more private?”

She rolled her eyes, but she headed into an empty classroom.

Once I was inside, she reached past me to close the door.

“If this is about that party—”

So she’d been expecting this, had she? “It is.”

Her eyes narrowed at my interruption. “If you think I wouldn’t tell Hedda about you snogging her boyfriend, you’re wrong—”

“This isn’t about Jakob!” Why was everything about him? That had been sorted out. This was so much more important.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “What is it then?”

“Iselin said you were at that party, and since I don’t remember much of it, I figured—”

“I’m not about to go into details of Jakob and you snogging. There were lips, tongues, maybe some groping, end of story.”

“It’s not about that either.” I wrung my hands, all kinds of nervous now. She didn’t make me feel any better with her attitude. “I don’t actually remember hooking up with Jakob, but I’ve spoken with him. He didn’t give me anything to drink. I was just wondering if you saw someone? Who gave something to me?”

She cocked her head curiously. “You don’t remember anything?”

I shook my head. “Well, I remember arriving and sitting on the sofa drinking cider with Iselin… but apart from that, it’s all blank until I woke up later that night.”

“There was this guy who handed you a glass.” She put her index finger to her lips thoughtfully. “Maybe two? I don’t know. You sat with him a little, at least.”

“Who was he?” Why couldn’t I bloody remember that night?

She blew out a breath and snapped her fingers. “M-something.”

“Magnus?”
Please don’t tell me my bloody ex has something to do with this
. We’d cut ties a long time ago. All we did lately was exchange a
hi
when we passed each other, but other than that we didn’t talk.

“Umm, no.” Jasmin still snapped her fingers. “But close. Marius?”

Marius? Who the hell was that?

“No, that’s not right either. He’s older, not in our school. He’s Glenn’s brother?”

My first thought was how in the hell did Jasmin know Glenn?

Then something cold slithered down my spine.

“
Marcus?
”