More Than This: A More Novella (7 page)

I
ran
down to pay for the food once the doorbell rang, leaving Roar surfing on my laptop. Now he had access to one with stable internet, he’d instantly started searching colleges and universities to see what they had to offer.

I carried the plastic bag with the take-out containers into the kitchen, where I gathered seasoning for the chips, ketchup, cutlery, glasses, and drinks. We only had a bottle of Solo, so it would have to do.

It was too much for me to carry in one go, so I grabbed a plastic bag from under the sink where I put everything in. That way I only had to carry two bags upstairs.

Once out in the hall, I stopped with one foot on the stairs.

Roar’s in my room. We’re spending the evening together.

Maybe even the night.

I need to be prepared.

I sat the bags on that first step, then turned and hurried down to the basement. Since I knew neither Andreas nor Alex were home, I went into their room.

Surely they’d have some spare condoms lying around?

I searched through Andreas’ bedside table drawer, but only found a half-empty bottle of lube and some magazines with naked girls on front.

“Really, Andreas?” I stared down at the one on top. He was in a relationship with Alex. Did he need magazines with naked girls on them? Then again, those magazines did have interesting articles in them, so it wasn’t like they were
porn
. Not completely anyway.

There were no condoms, which was weird, because I knew they had sex.

Maybe they do it bare.

Easy for them; they don’t have to worry about unwanted pregnancies
.

I drew a deep breath as I closed the bedroom door after me, then I walked over to knock on Ben’s. If he was home I had to confess what I needed—better than have bare sex—and take the embarrassment that would lead to.

But Ben didn’t answer, and when I cracked his bedroom door open, his room was empty.

And Ben had condoms. Heaps of them.

“Thanks, Ben.” I grabbed three from the stash he had in his drawer. Considering how many there were, I didn’t think he’d miss the few I took. Or stole, but condoms from my cousin wasn’t the worst thing I could’ve stolen.

I stuffed the condoms in my pockets, ran back upstairs, grabbed the two bags, and hightailed it up to my room.

Roar still sat on my desk chair with my laptop propped on his knees. He looked up as I came in.

“Dinner’s been delivered.” I didn’t have much space for eating though. It was either the desk or the bed.

Andreas and Ben had bigger rooms than I had, with sofas and TVs. I only had my bed, desk, and several bookshelves.

I opted to sit on the bed, scooting up so I rested my back against the wall.

Roar watched me silently as I sat the take-away containers out, then took out cutlery that I lay atop them, and poured soda into two glasses that I put on each bedside table.

“Come on.” I patted the bed next to me.

He glanced from the empty space to me and back again, but then he put the laptop on the desk and came to sit besides me.

Our shoulders pressed together as we sat down to eat, but whereas he again seemed nervous, I only felt content. Content… and excited. Because who knew what would happen once we’d finished dinner?

“How was your mum, Roar?” I asked, just as much to try and put him at ease as to get my thoughts out of the gutter.

“She was nice. A gentle person. I don’t know how she managed to keep up with my step-dad, but she did. Other than that, she was perfect.” He smiled slightly as he talked about her. “She loved me. But she also loved him, something I can’t understand. He hit her. Not that often, but when they fought, it got dirty. He never hit me though, not back when she was alive.”

“That only came after?” I felt so sorry for him.

“Yeah. If she’d known… I don’t think she would’ve left me in his care if she had.”

“How did she die?”

He swallowed audibly, emotional now. “Aneurism.”

“Shit. I’m sorry.” I cut my chicken fillets up into small pieces. “Didn’t you have any other family? What about your biological dad?”

“He’s never been in the picture. He was a sailor and whenever they docked here, he’d get together with my mum. But he had a wife and kids back home.”

I blinked. “So you’ve got siblings you’ve never met?”

“Yeah.” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. He knew she got pregnant and never bothered to come back. That’s all I need to know about
him
. Then my mum married my stepfather and that was that.”

“My dad couldn’t live without Mum. He managed, for a few years, but then… yeah.”

He stared down at his food. “Sometimes I think that’s the case with my stepfather too. Before Mum died, he had a good job, he only drank on weekends, he could laugh and be fun to be around. But once she was gone… he changed completely.”

“So you loved him once?”

He nodded. “He resents being stuck with me now.”

“Has he told you that?” My heart bled for him.

“Yep. In those exact words.”

We fell silent after that. I didn’t know what to say, and he likely didn’t want to talk about his stepfather anymore.

So we ate our food, sitting in loaded, but also sort of comfortable, silence.

He finished before me, and he folded the box back together and put it in the bag. Then he leaned back to stare up at the ceiling until I finished and followed his example.

I had to lean over him to get the bag from the floor, and then again as I put it back down with my take-away box added in there atop his.

I put a hand on his chest, bracing myself, then chanced a quick glance up at him.

He stared at me, face unreadable, but his brown eyes swirling with emotion.

“Roar…” I took a chance before I could second-guess myself and sat up to straddle his lap. Then I bent forward to kiss him.

He ran his hands up my arms, over my shoulders, and down my back, where he settled them on the small of my back.

I pressed down closer to him—and he took the hint. His hands moved further down, over my bum, and gripping my thighs.

Then he flipped us around so I was the one on my back and he was the one atop me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him down, refusing to let him ease off me. He wasn’t too heavy, not yet anyway. In fact, having his weight press me into the mattress felt
good
.

“Hey, Maria?” he asked, lips hovering close to mine.

“Hmm?” I needed him to kiss me again. We’d talked a lot earlier, now it was time for
this
.

“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea?”

“This is a
great
idea.” I hooked one leg over his hips.

He squirmed uncomfortably—and he moved so that I felt exactly
why
he was uncomfortable.

I smiled against his lips, nipping on his bottom one. “Don’t you want to do this?”

“Oh, trust me I do.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t want to force you into anything.”

That brought me up short. “Does it look like I’m being forced?” I stared at him. “I want this so much I’m about to force
you
if you don’t hurry up and get with the plan.”

He gave a startled laugh. “I’m with the plan. It’s just I don’t have anything. Protection, I mean.”

“That’s okay. I do.” I reached into my pocket and drew out the three brightly coloured condom packets.

Roar eyed them incredulously. “Have you been going around with those in your pocket all day?”

“No.” It was my turn to laugh. “I stole them from my cousin when I went down to get the food. Don’t worry, he won’t miss them, he’s got a whole stash.”

For a minute he seemed embarrassed , but then he smiled widely—before he crushed his lips to mine.

I moved my hands down to slip under his hoodie and T-shirt, and once I encountered his bare skin, he followed suit. I still wore my leotard though, so even when he unzipped the hoodie, he was met with only stretchy material.

“Dammit.” I should’ve changed after my dance-class.

He chuckled.

I unzipped
his
hoodie and slid it off his shoulders. Once it was off, I pulled his T-shirt up.

He sat up on his knees, grabbed the tee, and pulled it off in one quick movement.

I stared at his naked torso, taking in the fading bruises over one side of his ribs. I sat up too and ran my fingers feather-light over the discoloured skin.

“Is this from your stepfather too?”

He stared down at himself. “Yeah.”

“What about today? Did he hit you anywhere but your face?” He still had a red mark on his cheekbone, and it was redder now than it’d been after the fight. He’d probably get a bruise there too by tomorrow.

“He hit me once in the stomach, but not that hard.” He traced a circle around the spot he’d been hit.

I let my hand fall down his skin until I met the hem of his boxers. I moved my fingers lower, to grip the fly of his jeans.

He sucked in a breath, but stayed quiet as I unzipped and pulled the jeans down his thighs. His boxers were tight, and in them, clearly outlined, was his dick.

I licked my lips, then looked up at him.

He stared back. “Are you absolutely sure?”

“Oh yeah.” I’d never been surer of anything in my
life
.

“Considering what you’ve just been through, what could’ve happened to you—”

“Nothing happened. I’m good. Besides, I’m not drunk now. And you’re not someone who would sexually assault me.”

I threw my feet over the edge of the bed so I could be rid of my joggers. I had to take my tights off too to get my leotard off.

“Are you about to give me a striptease?” he asked teasingly.

I glanced over my shoulder at him. He still sat on the bed, with his jeans halfway down his thighs. “Would you like that?”

He licked his lips, eye going darker, which told me all I needed to know.

It was weird how I wasn’t embarrassed at all. If this had been last year, with my ex, I never stood in front of him to strip. We would’ve had sex in the dark.

But Roar… there was something special about Roar.

So I inched my tights down, stepped out of them, then pulled the straps on my leotard off my shoulders. All the while, Roar’s gaze was glued to me—and nothing made me feel better than to see the desire in his eyes, as well as the hard dick still kept in place by his boxers.

I slid the leotard down and off in one fluid motion, leaving me standing there in only my panties.

“Your turn.” I needed him to get naked before I stripped off all the way, so I was a little embarrassed after all.

He stared at my tits.

I looked down too. They were quite small, to the point I was almost flat. I hardly ever needed bras to keep them in check. I liked them small, it was so much better to dance with a nearly flat chest than to have big, flappy ones attached.

I knew guys generally liked bigger tits though, and for a minute I worried my lower lip.

Roar moved, standing up on the floor, and pulling off his jeans and boxers in one move. His dick slapped hard and leaking against his lower stomach.

“And you.” His eyes were so intense. They drew me in.

I pushed my panties down over my arse and let them fall to the floor, then I stepped out of them.

Roar took my hand and pulled me flush up close to him.

I hooked my arms around his shoulders, and when he reached down to slide his hands under my thighs, lifting me, I wrapped my legs around his hips.

He turned us around and we fell onto the bed. It bounced a little as our combined weight hit the mattress.

He was all hard planes and muscles, so warm I didn’t even feel the chill in my room. He enveloped me, pressed me down, and it was
so good
.

I could definitely get used to this.

H
is fingers teased me
, and I arched my back as one slipped inside me. I was pretty sure I moaned too, because it was him, his finger inside me, and I was so
wet
.

I wanted him so much.

Wanted more than just his fingers. I wanted
all of him
.

“Roar.” I fumbled over my head for the condoms but only encountered bunched sheets.

“Impatient?” He grinned at me, nipping at my bottom lip.

“Yeah.” I wasn’t even ashamed to admit it because it was so true.

He chuckled, produced one of the brightly lit packets, and ripped it open with his teeth.

“Smooth.” I laughed, albeit breathlessly.

“I know, right?” He took the slippery condom out, threw the packet away, then reached down in-between us to roll it on himself.

I stared down, watching as he covered his flushed cock with the not-quite-transparent condom.

This is it
.

I spread my thighs wider to accommodate him. It’d been awhile since the last time I’d had sex, and I tensed a little in trepidation as he positioned himself against me, head nudging my opening.

“You sure?” He looked down at me, gaze questioning.

“Y-yeah.” I was—I wanted this, wanted
him
.

He pressed in and I stopped breathing for a second.
I’ve forgotten what it feels like, to be filled like this, to have someone else inside me.

But oh God, it’s good!

I moved my pelvis against him, needing more, needing movement and stimulation.

He gave it to me as he set up a steady rhythm.

When he bent down to kiss me, I ran my hands up his neck and over his hair, loving the feel of him against me.

I hiked my feet up to hook them around his waist. His hands cupped the back of my thighs, keeping them in that position, as he thrust harder into me.

I’d always had a hard time orgasming, but that didn’t mean sex couldn’t be good. Amazing, even, like it was now.

I moaned, eyes falling closed as I lost myself to the pleasure of him moving inside me. It’d been a little tight at first, but now it felt just right. I was wet and he glided in easily, rubbing against me.

He groaned, and I sucked on his bottom lip.

His hips stuttered, then thrust even harder before he buried himself deep and froze.

I clung to his shoulders through his orgasm, running my lips over the thin skin on his neck, tongue lapping at it, sucking.

“Oh fuck.” He rolled off me to land at my side.

I slowly stretched my legs out—they were slightly cramped.

He removed the condom, dropped it into the take-away bag on the floor, then fell back down on the bed again. He turned his head on the pillow to look at me, stretching his arm out.

I smiled and rolled in close, resting against him, and he folded his arm around my shoulders.

His chest had a small scattering of hair, darker than the blond hair on his head, and I ran my hand over it, teasing his nipples a little.

His breath came in heavy puffs, chest rising and falling quickly.

But so did mine, so we were in the same boat, as it were.

That was good sex. So much better than it ever was with Magnus
.

“It’s only been three days.” I ran a finger around his nipple, thoughtful.

“Hmm?”

“Three days. Since we met.” I tilted my head upwards on his chest so I could look up at his face. “It feels so much longer.”

“Yeah.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “It does.”

I scooted up so I could kiss him. I’d planned on just that one kiss, but it led to two, three, and suddenly I was on my back again with him halfway atop me.

His hand ran over my chest, over the small nubs that were my tits, up to my neck, which he cupped in his palm as he ran his tongue over my bottom lip.

I opened to it, welcoming it in.

I didn’t know how long we kissed, I didn’t even know how long we’d had sex. It could’ve been minutes or hours for all knew. And I didn’t care. All I wanted was to lie here in bed with him.

When he rolled onto his back again I took notice of how he had a hard time keeping his eyes open.

“Go to sleep, Roar.” I pressed in close to his side. “You need it.”

“I don’t want to be one of those guys who just rolls over and goes to sleep afterwards.”

“You’re not,” I assured him, petting his stomach. “But you don’t get much sleep, and I’ve got this whole bed right here.”

“You don’t want me to leave?”

“Are you mental? No.” I wanted him to stay right where he was, preferably forever, but tonight would do fine too. “Sleep. Relax. You’re safe here. If you want to sleep until morning, you can. I’ll wake you for school, but other than that I’ll leave you alone.”

He let out a breath. “You’re pretty great, you know that?” He tilted my head up and bent his down, pressing our lips together in a soft kiss.

“I try my best.” I grinned. “But you are too, you know. If you hadn’t been there on Saturday, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

He stared into my eyes. “I’m glad I was there on Saturday.”

“So am I.” Now I kissed him, but just a quick, chaste one, before I pushed him away. “Sleep, Roar. I’ll be right here.”

After another lingering look at me, he did turn over onto his side, with his back to me. I lay down close, wrapping an arm around his waist, and simply listening to him breathe.

He fell asleep rather quickly, which told me all I needed to know. He did need sleep—and he needed it in a proper bed where no abusive stepfather was around.

It was too early for me to sleep, so I got up eventually. I dressed, went to the toilet to pee—I did not want a UTI—then wandered downstairs.

I heard the TV and ventured into the living room to find Ben sprawled on the sofa.

“Hey. Why’re you up here?” He had a TV in his bedroom, after all.

He glanced up at me. “You want to watch something?”

I shook my head, then stared down at him as I stopped next to the sofa. He seemed to be in just as bad a mood as he’d been for a while now. “You all right, Ben?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, expression anything but.

I didn’t believe him. I also knew I shouldn’t push him, because it would only make it worse. I didn’t want him to bitch at me.

So I got a glass of water and headed back up to my room.

Roar was in the same position I’d left him in, fast asleep, and I smiled to myself.

Three days in and I was already half-way in love with him. It was unbelievable, incredible,
astonishing
. It shouldn’t be possible—except it was. We had a connection, an instant one that had been there ever since he first talked to me Saturday night.

My phone vibrated, and I grabbed it before the sound of it against the bedside table could wake Roar.

I didn’t just have the one message, but several. Not from Iselin this time, but for Jakob.

So Hedda hadn’t taken any of what I’d told her to heart then.
It figures
.

I took a seat on my desk chair, leaving my entire bed to Roar so I wouldn’t disturb him, and set to answering Jakob.

Jakob was such a nice guy, I could understand why she’d want to keep him. But he’d broken up with her, so he wasn’t hers to keep anymore. Not that he ever had be, as he wasn’t a possession.

Roar had only said he had Tuesdays off, so I took that to mean he had to work again tomorrow.

I even added on a smiley face to the end of that message, though I wasn’t that good at using them normally. Jakob deserved it though, for being such a good, sweet guy.

He gave me a thumps up and that was that.

Iselin next then. She deserved some explanations.

She was active on Facebook, so she saw my message instantly. I stared at the three periods that signalled that she was typing, waiting for the answer.

I lifted my gaze to stare at his bare back. We hadn’t talked about our relationship status yet, but I knew what I wanted.

I didn’t know what to answer to that. My thumbs hovered over the keyboard on my phone, unsure what to say next. Should I admit it? Deny it? Be vague about it? Be vague about it was the same as admitting it though.

Shit
. I hadn’t thought about that. Who
had
given me something to drink?

I clicked out of my message with Iselin and pressed Jakob’s name.

I bit down on my lower lip as I watched the three periods, anxiously awaiting the answer. My phone vibrated with a new message from Iselin, but I had to see what Jakob answered before I could check.

Which explained why I didn’t remember meeting him—or snogging him—at all.

I clicked in to check what Iselin had written.

Jasmin, a friend of Hedda’s… So that was probably where Hedda had heard about Jakob and I.

Dammit, dammit, dammit
.

I guess I have to talk to her tomorrow then
.

Oh joy.