Authors: Charlotte Carter
Where was her special place? She'd dreamed of living in European capitals, caught up in their history and culture. In college she'd taken both French and German to help her achieve her goal. For the past three years, she'd used her vacation time to visit Elite Hotel properties overseas, immersing herself in the ambience, making contacts, planning her future.
In the course of one day, her future had taken a sharp turn and now included the welfare of a twelve-year-old boy.
* * *
As he headed to the barn for his last check on the horses for the night, Jay spotted Paige gazing at the stars. Cast in the faint rays of starlight, she looked vulnerable. Not the corporate executive who had shown up for her sister's funeral yesterday. More approachable. More appealing and not so standoffish.
Even though he knew it wasn't wise to test how welcoming she might be, he strolled toward her.
“How about a nickel for your thoughts?” he asked.
She started then glanced in his direction. “Is it part of your Native American thing to be able to sneak up on people?”
“Nope. My Scottish ancestors used to slip into English castles and make off with barrels of whiskey without making a sound.”
The trill of her soft laughter tickled down Jay's spine. He hadn't responded to a woman's voice so strongly for a very long time.
“I gather they were well motivated,” she said.
“According to the stories my great-grandfather told, fooling the British was a mark of honor in the old days.”
She nodded before looking up at the sky again.
“So have you decided what to do about Bryan?” he asked.
“Krissy wanted me to be his guardian. I owe her that and more. I have to respect my sister's last wish.”
Jay balled his hands into fists. That might have been Krissy's wish, but it sure wasn't Bryan's. “You're going to move him to Seattle?”
“That's where I live. Where my job is.”
“Just curious, but how many horses do you own there in Seattle?”
“None, thank goodness! I live in a condo.”
He pictured shoulder-to-shoulder apartments with no room to breathe, and he shuddered as much for himself as for the boy. “So there's a stable nearby where Bryan can board his horse?”
“Not that I know of. But Bryan won't need a horse in Seattle.”
Jay moved a little closer and lowered his voice in frustration. “Miss Barclay, horses are that boy's life. He lives and breathes for the chance to ride the trails in the mountains. Spot a bear. Or a mountain lion. Being able to see to a horizon that's farther away than the building across the street.”
She straightened her shoulders. “The city has all kinds of advantages he doesn't have here. He'll be able to go to museums, art galleries, hear a symphony orchestra. He can learn to sail on the Sound. Play any sport he likes. It's a wonderful place to live.”
His jaw was going to crack, he was biting down so hard not to tell Miss Barclay exactly what he thought of that kind of life for Bryan. “You don't know a thing about raising a boy, do you?”
She backed up a step. “No, but I'm perfectly capable of learning.”
Pacing away from her, Jay struggled to keep calm. Krissy might have been reckless, but her sister was downright stubborn.
He circled back to her and got inside her personal space. “You're going to take Bryan away from all that he knows and loves and stick him in some condo with neighbors close enough to hear them brush their teeth?” Jay couldn't imagine any worse way to live, cooped up inside a building where he couldn't smell the sweet scent of spring or the biting cold of a real winter.
Not budging an inch, she planted her fists on her hips, showing more spunk than Jay thought she had. If she were a couple inches taller, she'd be right in his face. In this case, that would be a bad thing. He might just kiss her, and wouldn't that fry her beans?
“I know there will be adjustments we'll both have to make, but that's what Krissy wanted.”
“And precisely what adjustments are you going make? Take weekends off so you can be home with Bryan?” He was guessing. He didn't know what her schedule was but he figured working at a hotel she had to work some crazy shifts.
Hooking her hand around the back of her neck, she hesitated. “I can't do that. I'm the conference manager for the hotel. Most of the conferences are scheduled forâ”
“Fine. Then Bryan'll stay home alone. He's old enough. Of course, he won't know anyone except you. Hope you've got a lot of video games for him to play.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “All right, I haven't worked out all the details yet. I just found out todayâ”
His jaw muscle twitched. “How big is your condo, Miss Barclay?”
“Will you stop calling me Miss Barclay?” she snapped. “My name is Paige, and I'm dealing with this guardian business the best I can.”
“Okay, Paige.” He shouldn't be pressing her, but the thought of her dragging Bryan off to Seattle really stuck in his craw. “You didn't answer my question about your condo.”
“It's small, all right?”
“How small?” he demanded.
“One bedroom plus a home office,” she admitted grudgingly. “It will do until I can sell and buy a bigger one.”
“That ought to be cozy.” He snatched off his old work hat and speared his fingers through his hair. She seemed to honestly believe she could take on the responsibility for a twelve-year-old, move him hundreds of miles away from the only home he'd known and everything would work itself out. Not likely!
“It's getting late.” She glanced over her shoulder toward the house. “I think I'll go back inside. Good night.”
“Wait!” He didn't want to stop sparring with her. Challenging her to think things through. He hadn't yet convinced her taking on parental responsibilities for Bryan wasn't such an easy thing to do. “When are you planning to leave?”
“Early Monday morning. I have to be at work Tuesday.” She took a few steps toward the porch.
“You're taking Bryan with you?”
“I, um, I suppose so. I might not be able to get time off to come back.”
That was crazy. Jay had to stop her. “No, you can't do that. You're not officially his guardian until a court says so.”
She cocked her head. “I have Krissy's letter. That gives me the authorityâ”
“He only has two more weeks of school before summer vacation. You can't pull him out now. That would break his heart.”
“I can't stay here for two more weeks. My boss would have a fit.” Her voice tightened. “We've got a big medical conference scheduled for next weekend.”
“If your boss is the right kind of guy, he'll understand. Besides, two weeks will give Bryan time to get to know you and you to get to know him.” The lowered slope of her shoulders suggested he was finally getting through to her.
Hat in hand, he approached her slowly. “I understand you cared about your sister. And you care about Bryan, too. Give the boy a chance to know you, and yourself time to work out whatever steps you have to take to be his official legal guardian.”
She held his gaze in the starlight for a long moment as though she wanted to say something important. Instead, her jaw tightened. “I'll think about it.” Whirling, she hurried up the steps and into the house.
Jay jammed his hat on his head. He wasn't anything to Bryan except his friend. Grandpa Henry should be fighting on the boy's side. Not going along with Krissy's cockamamy idea of letting Paige raise her son.
So why was the idea of the boy moving away bugging him so much?
He thought of the son he'd lost, the tiny baby who had never drawn his first breath. The boy he'd dreamed of having. He'd planned to teach him how to ride. How to raise the best-bred quarter horses in the West. To live and work on the ranch he'd sold after Annie and the baby had died.
He'd wanted to teach his son to track animals through the woods. To hunt and fish.
But he'd never had the chance.
He scrubbed his face with his hand, remembering all of his dreams that had never come to pass. He hadn't been able to bear the thought of remaining on the ranch after he'd lost Annie. Not with all the memories that haunted him.
Bryan wasn't his own flesh and blood. But there were times, he admitted, when the kid looked at him with suchâwas it hero worship? Or could it be love? Despite himself, Jay had relished those moments.
However well-meaning Paige might be, he didn't want her to take Bryan away.
And he had no idea how to stop her.
Chapter Three
J
ay had given Paige plenty to think about, which resulted in a restless night. Her head was still spinning with all that she had to do when she woke the next morning.
She dressed in a black wool skirt and fitted yellow sweater with three-quarter-length sleeves, and headed for the kitchen. She planned to attend church this morning. To thank the pastor again for presiding over Krissy's funeral.
Plus, she hoped with some concentrated prayer, the Lord would provide the guidance she needed.
The smell of rich coffee and the sound of male voices drew her. She stopped at the kitchen doorway and gawked. Bryan and Grandpa were sitting at the table. Jay, wearing a frilly pink apron that had to have been Grandma Lisbeth's, was cooking pancakes on the griddle. He flipped one in the air. It landed smack in the middle of the plate he was holding in his hand.
“Very impressive.” She had no recollection of Jay preparing meals during any of her prior visits. Yesterday he'd already left to see to the horses when she'd come in for coffee. “You have an unexpected talent.”
He shot her a grin that crinkled the corners of his eyes and sped gooseflesh down her skin. A man had to be seriously macho to carry off a pink apron with such aplomb.
“When I lead a trail ride into the wilderness, the clients expect good eats and plenty of it.” He flipped a second pancake onto the plate and handed it to Bryan.
The boy grabbed the butter, slathered the pancakes, then reached for the syrup.
“Sit yourself down,” Jay said. “I'll cook up a couple for you.”
“No, that's not necessary. I only have coffee for breakfast.”
“You're too skinny, girl.” Grandpa forked a bite of pancake into his mouth. “Jay's pancakes will put some meat on your bones.”
She put an affectionate hand on her grandfather's shoulder. “A woman my age has to be careful not to put too much meat on her bones.”
He
harrumphed
and ate another bite of his breakfast.
“You look like you're dressed to go somewhere fancy,” Jay said, pouring two more circles of batter on the griddle.
She got a mug from the cupboard and poured herself some coffee. “I thought I'd go to church this morning. Anyone like to come with me?” When no one responded, she turned to Bryan. “How about you? We could hang out.”
He looked up at her with hooded eyes and shook his head.
The prick of rejection hurt. She shrugged it off. Bryan was asserting his independence. Understandable under the circumstances. Eventually he'd come around. She hoped. “How about you, Grandpa?”
“My arthritis is acting up bad this morning.” He downed a gulp of coffee. “There must be a storm coming.”
So far the day looked as sunny as yesterday had. But Paige knew not to challenge her grandfather's weather predictions. She remembered all too well a picnic down by the dock at the lake with her mother, grandmother and Krissy with baby Bryan. They'd ignored Grandpa's warning about the weather and he'd been right. Their picnic had been rained out.
Jay slid another plate of pancakes onto the table and sat down. “I'll drive you.”
Her mouth gaped open. She hadn't expected him to volunteer to take her to church. She wasn't sure she wanted to spend time with him alone after the animosity he'd shown her last night. Besides, she was perfectly capable of driving herself.
She sat at the table opposite him. “That's all right. There's no need. I drove my car here.”
He crooked a single dark brow. “No sense to take two vehicles.”
“Don't you have a trail ride this morning?”
Jay swallowed his bite of pancake. “Nope. Sundays are a day of rest for us and our horses. So it's all settled. We'll go to church together.”
Bossy cowboy!
She closed her hands around her coffee mug, letting the heat seep in. “Fine. As long as you promise not to wear Grandma Lisbeth's apron.”
He looked down at himself. Color darkened his ruddy cheeks. “Yeah, I think that's a promise I can make.”
Suppressing a smile, Paige lowered her gaze. Sometimes a little teasing went a long way to smooth troubled waters. Or to gain the upper hand.
As soon as Bryan finished his pancakes, he was out the door heading for the stable and his horse.
With a grimace, Grandpa gathered himself and stood. “Think I'll go have a sit-down in the living room.”
“Can I get you something for the pain?” Worried, Paige hopped up to take his elbow and walked with him into the living room.
“Don't worry your head about me, girl. A little sit-down and I'll be right as rain.”
Paige didn't share his optimism. “Has the doctor given you a prescription for your arthritis?”
“Doc Johansen's not much older than Bryan and still wet behind the ears. He's as like to poison me as not. I keep my distance from that youngster. There's not much he can do anyway about me getting old, is there?” He eased himself into the recliner and let out a sigh.
Smoothing the few strands of gray hair on his balding head, Paige crouched down beside him. “Maybe I shouldn't go to church. I could stay home with you.”
“Nonsense.” He waved his hand like he was shooing a fly away. “I'm fine. You and Jay go on to church. It'll do you both good.”
“If you're sure...”
“Go on, girl. I'll be fine.”
Reluctantly, Paige agreed to leave him on his own. She'd only be gone for a couple hours at the most.
But what would happen when she returned to Seattle? Who would take care of him then?
At least when Krissy was alive, she had been around to watch out for Grandpa.
When she returned to the kitchen, Jay had already put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and cleaned up the counter. A handy man to have around.
“You ready to go?” he asked.
She checked her watch. “I guess so. I'm worried about Grandpa, though.”
He glanced in the direction of the living room and lowered his voice. “He really took Krissy dying hard. He'd been pretty lively before. Now...” He shrugged. “I'll go change and meet you at my truck in ten minutes.”
He strolled toward the back door and plucked his hat off the peg.
“Jay,” she called after him.
He looked back over his shoulder.
“Your apron?” She worked to keep a straight face.
He rolled his eyes, yanked off his apron and hung it on the peg where his hat had been. “Ten minutes.”
The screen door slammed behind him as he left.
Telling her grandfather they'd be back as soon as they could, Paige went out the front door.
Bryan was in the corral alongside a horse with a blond coat and mane. Impressed, she watched as Bryan hefted a saddle onto the horse's back, then ducked down to grab the cinch and pull it tight. He seemed to know what he was doing.
In all honesty, Paige couldn't imagine herself saddling a horse as expertly as that twelve-year-old did. Or at all. She'd be terrified the horse would step on her. Or kick her.
Bryan seemed unaware of the potential danger. That was doubly amazing considering his mother had so recently died horseback riding.
Paige bit her lip and hurried toward Jay's truck. She had to make up for the way she'd failed her sister.
* * *
It wasn't far from Grandpa's place, around the north end of Bear Lake, to Highway 93 that went through town. Although the tourist season hadn't officially started, the road was heavily traveled to and from Glacier National Park during most of the year.
Motels were mixed in between fast-food restaurants, diners and traditional businesses such as the local general store and barbershop. One cute shop, Love 2 Read Books and Bakery, had a clever caricature on the front window of a baker with a puffy white hat reading a book.
Nowhere did Paige see anything resembling an upscale resort facility with beach access to the lake. Only one restaurant, Sandy's, seemed to offer something resembling fine dining, their specialty fresh fish and steaks.
Of course, being in such close proximity to Jay distracted Paige from her survey of the town. She couldn't detect the scent of an aftershave, yet his masculine pheromones seemed to be doing a number on her, filling the truck cab and setting her on edge.
Or maybe it was his strong profile, a straight nose and determined jaw. Firm lips. Or even the way the wind blowing in the window teased his midnight-black hair, ruffling the strands like a woman's fingers. Everything about him had her thinking in ways she shouldn't.
“How come you were so excited to go to church this morning?” Jay asked. “Krissy sure didn't have any interest.”
His question slammed the door on her wayward thoughts.
“Our folks didn't attend church, either. The hardware store was open seven days a week. I helped out on weekends including when I was going to college.”
“That must've cut down on your social life.”
As if she'd had one. “When I finally moved away from home, I found I needed...something. I started going to a small neighborhood church. I felt welcome, maybe for the first time, and loved for myself.” Her cheeks flushed hot and she looked away. “That sounds hokey, doesn't it?”
“Not really.”
She felt him looking at her and nausea roiled her stomach. Of all the dumb things to say, implying that she hadn't ever been loved. Of course her parents had loved her. Her teachers, too. She was the
good
sister.
“So how about you?” she asked, determined to shift the spotlight away from her. “Do you go to church regularly?”
“I try to. If I didn't, my ma would sure be on my case. She's taught Sunday school for as long as I can remember.”
“That's nice.” Paige was so new to the church, she was still trying to understand the Bible and to live a Christian life “So you've always been a Christian?”
Jay rested his arm on the windowsill, hesitating a moment before he spoke. “After my wife died a few years ago, I had some trouble with God, angry at Him for letting Annie die. But He and I have worked it out.”
Sympathy and a surprising surge of admiration filled her chest. “I'm sorry for your loss.” She wished there was something more helpful she could say but she didn't have the words. “Your wife must have been quite young. If you don't mind talking about it, how did she die?”
His Adam's apple bobbed, the muscles of his tanned neck flexing. “Childbirth. Our son died, too.”
She gasped. Her chest ached with regret that she'd been so nosy. “I'm so, so sorry. How in the world did you ever get past your anger? Losing your wife and child?”
He glanced in her direction. “I finally figured out the Lord must've known what He was doing even if I didn't. I had to trust Him.”
Tears burned in her eyes. Paige had to give him extra points for experiencing such a huge loss and rebuilding his faith.
After turning off the main road, Jay asked, “So have you thought any more about Bryan and what you're going to do?”
Relieved by the shift from such an intimate, painful topic, she said, “As a matter of fact, I spent several hours on my laptop last night. You were right. Based on Montana law, even with Krissy's letter, I'll have to file a bunch of forms with the family court in order to officially become Bryan's guardian.”
“I didn't think it would be easy. You can't just drag a kid off to Seattle without some kind of government rigmarole.”
“Apparently that's true.” Given the information she'd found online, it wasn't going to be as easy as strolling into the court in Kalispell, handing someone Krissy's letter and getting the whole deal sewed up in minutes, either. The process was going to take days, if not weeks.
“So what are you going to do? Head on back to Seattle tomorrow?”
“No. I'm not one to give up that easily. I'll drive to Kalispell tomorrow, see if there's a way I can expedite the necessary approval.”
He glanced at her. “What about your boss?”
“Guess I'll have to do some fancy talking, won't I?” As much as she liked the hotel manager, she knew he wouldn't be thrilled to hear her trip to Montana had to be extended. Yet nothing critical would come up in the next day or two that her assistant couldn't handle.
“Or you could forget the guardian business and leave Bryan where he belongs.”
She tensed and stared out the windshield.
Jay made the turn into the church parking lot, which was filled with pickups and SUVs, the favored means of transportation in Montana. The church itself was a simple one-story, whitewashed building with a steeple topped by a wooden cross. A welcoming place to worship the Lord.
“I can't forget about Bryan. Krissy picked me to be his guardian. For years I turned my back on her. A few phone calls to see how she was doing. Occasional visits. Presents at the holidays. Turns out all she wanted was for me to love her.” Guilt rose in her throat like a boulder, cutting off her air. She swallowed painfully. “Taking care of Bryan is the one thing she's asked of me. I'm not going to say no.”
He wheeled into a space next to an RV and braked hard. “Even though you know it's not what Bryan wants.”
That wasn't a question, and Paige didn't respond. Somehow she'd make it work. Make Bryan see that moving to Seattle was a great opportunity. They'd develop a good relationship. A loving relationship, one she'd want with her own child if she was ever blessed with children.
And she'd have a chance to make up for the way she'd treated her sister.
Jay hopped down from the truck and went around to the passenger side to help Paige. He needn't have bothered. She'd managed on her own.
Within a few steps, however, Jay could tell walking in high heels on gravel wasn't so easy. Paige wobbled, and he caught her arm to steady her.
Slipping her arm through his, she blessed him with a tentative smile. “Thanks.”