Moments Lost and Found (7 page)

Immediately, he was on top of her,
his mouth again assaulting hers and she didn’t know what she was doing but she
was grabbing his ass as he ground himself into her. He pinned her legs with
his, and even as she tried to free them, she was unbuckling and unzipping his
pants. She was fighting him and wanting him to fuck her. She was pushing
against him with all her might, but she wanted him to pound his cock inside of
her. She finally got his pants and briefs off and yanked them down his legs as
much as she could given that she still had very little mobility. He somehow had
unzipped her pants and tugged them off her so quickly that he was back on top
of her before she could do much. How could she want to knee him in the balls
and have him fuck her at the same time? It didn’t much matter because he shoved
his way in and she gasped.

They both took a moment to register
how good that felt, but they weren’t finished ‘fighting’. He started pumping
her and she met him thrust for furious thrust, but it was like she was trying
to buck him off, even though that was the exact opposite of what she wanted.
She was clawing at his back, and even though her legs were wrapped around his
waist she was squeezing him and fighting until she felt her orgasm rising. She
didn’t want to come, she was so fucking pissed off that coming felt like she
was giving up the fight, but her body responded to his onslaught and when she
did come she gritted her teeth as she screamed, bringing Laurent to the brink
who yelled too. He collapsed on top of her and they lay there for a few
minutes, panting together until finally he got off of her and sat down on the
end of the couch.

With weak legs and her heart still
pounding, Sam got up. Immediately Laurent asked in a low, throaty, but no
longer angry voice, “Where are you going?”

Sam turned around to face him, she
was naked from the waist down and holding her pants and underwear in her hand,
“I’m going to the bathroom to clean up and then I’m going home.” She was
exhausted and upset and she just wanted to go home and go to sleep.

 “Don’t leave, Samantha. Stay
the night with me.” Just as with what had happened on the couch, Sam felt two
divergent emotions simultaneously. She felt like she should go home, yet wanted
to lie in his arms. He said the words she wanted to hear. She was done fighting
and she was just so mentally and physically tired. She simply replied, “Ok.” To
which he smiled, got up, took her hand, and led her upstairs to the bedroom.

Despite Sam knowing it was a fucked
up situation, once she and Laurent got into bed, and once his arms were wrapped
around her, she fell quickly to sleep. She woke in the middle of the night with
her heart pounding and her mouth dry, thanks to the damn scotch. She got up and
went to the bathroom and when she came back, Laurent was awake with a small
smile on his face. She knew she should still be mad at him but whatever she
felt for him was stronger and she smiled back as she got under the covers and
cuddled up next to him. He stroked her hair and she rubbed his chest. He
planted a kiss on the top of her head and she returned it by kissing his chest.

 “We are probably going to need
to learn how to discuss things better.” He whispered. She chuckled and pushed
herself up so she could see him,

 “Ya think?” she replied and he
smiled. She lowered herself back to his chest and they continued stroking each
other until they both fell asleep again.

Sam got up before Laurent and
quietly made her way downstairs to make a pot of coffee and some breakfast. The
last thing she wanted to do was talk, but she knew that they had to. They
couldn’t resolve issues the way they did the previous night. And, Sam couldn’t
handle scotch, nothing to discuss there though.

What she really needed to do was
leave soon to get home to feed her boys, but she knew that if Laurent woke and
found her gone… well, she wasn’t sure what Laurent she would find, but she just
knew that wasn’t an option. Again she was reminded of how different her life
was now, with him. Nothing used to get between her and her dogs, and now she let
a man do just that. She felt guilty. She knew that most people would never
understand putting animals before a lover, and prior to Laurent coming into her
life, she never had to make the choice. But she couldn’t argue with the fact
that, while she had always considered herself happy, she had never felt as
full, as complete, as she did with him in her world. She was smart enough to
know that it couldn’t all be sunshine and roses, but there had to be a better
way for them to discuss their differences than what they did last night.

When Laurent came down, he found Sam
with coffee, the paper and some toast with jam. She was in a robe he had given
her, sitting with her knees hugged to her chest. After everything, what she
felt when she saw him was love. Ugh. She knew she had it bad. He smiled warmly
at her, came over and planted a kiss on her head, then knelt down beside her,
lifting his eyes to hers and said, “Do you have any idea how adorable you are,
Cheri
?
Or how happy it makes me to see you here when I wake up?”

 “Do you have any idea how many
sarcastic responses I have to that?” she grinned.

 “You’re a very creative woman,
Samantha. I’m sure there’s a whole range.” He took a sip of his coffee, “And
creative is good, but fighting like a girl…” he just shook his head, “I am
enrolling you in self defense classes.” Sam laughed, but she realized he was
dead serious.

 “I’m not kidding, Samantha.
You need to be able to fight better than that pathetic attempt last night.”
Well this sure wasn’t going where she thought it would.

 “Huh? I had two scotches on an
empty stomach and I was play-fighting with you. I wasn’t ever really worried
that you’d hurt me or that I’d really need to defend myself.”

 “It doesn’t matter how much
you had to drink. Do you think,
Cheri
, that a man is only going to
attack you when you’re sober?”

 “Are we seriously discussing
self-defense and not the reason
why
we were fighting?” God this man ran
her emotions around the board.

 “Yes, we really are. You’re
strong for a woman, Samantha. But you need to know how to fight back. We live
in Los Angeles.”

Sam was back to being pissed off.
Her head still hurt. She didn’t sleep well. And she didn’t need Laurent or any
man telling her what she needed, especially after last night. “I know where the
fuck we live, Laurent. I have two pit bulls for god’s sake. They’d rip any man
who tried to harm me limb from limb.” She pushed her chair back and said, “and
speaking of them, I need to get home to feed them.”

She took a deep breath to calm
herself, and then in a more measured voice said, “I waited here this morning so
that we could talk. We need to be able to discuss things when you get upset or
when something happens that’s, uh, unpleasant. I love you, Laurent, but I’m
afraid this roller coaster that we’re on is going to end up making me crazy. I
know neither of us is good at this, but we’ve got to get better.”

He watched her as she walked over to
him to place a kiss on the top of his head and said, “I’ll call you later so we
can talk… and so you can tell me when my personal Krav Magra trainer will be
arriving at my house.” She knew better than to leave on a bad note, so she
tried to add a little levity. But she knew she had to leave. Laurent watched
her walk out, and a few minutes later he heard the front door close.

It really was exhausting Samantha.
She worried that a fire that burned so bright would eventually burn out. She
had never felt so intensely, good or bad, for another person. Not that there
was much bad at all, not after the initial phases.

She felt like she was losing a part
of herself to him. And it wasn’t what they did in the bedroom, she was
surprisingly comfortable giving up control there. Actually, it was a relief and
it was so damn good that she was happy to be whomever he wanted or needed her
to be sexually. She had never felt so much pleasure as she did with him. So it
wasn’t the dominance during sex. No, that wasn’t an issue at all. And, for the
most part, everything else was amazing. He was smart and charming and caring
and interesting and interested in her and sexy and, and, and, the list went on.
But when he was bad, it wasn’t that he was awful. What scared Sam were the
accommodations she was making for his moods. She knew she couldn’t control him.
He was going to be who he was. But she was changing. That’s what worried her.
Was this just part of being in a relationship? Or more specifically, part of
what two control freaks had to deal with when in a relationship together? Sam
had no one to ask. Correction. The one person she could discuss this with was
the problem.

As Sam pondered this, her phone
buzzed.

Dinner?

Yes, please. No scotch.

Done. I’ll pick you up at 7.

He picked her up in his new Porsche
911 Turbo S Cabriolet. It was a present he bought himself after the launch. Sam
looked online to see what the base price was out of curiosity. Naturally, it
was the top of the line, and many houses across the country sold for far less.

Sam had previously always hated
Porshe drivers because she found they were often small men with, she imagined,
small penises who had chips on their shoulders and were incredibly rude
drivers. But after taking a few spins in this, she could see the allure of the
car. Sam had always loved driving fast, and when she was younger, she had the
speeding tickets to prove it. She actually once cried her way out of a ticket.
She wasn’t proud, but she was young and broke at the time, and the tears were
real…

In yet another way that Sam wasn’t
like many women, her first true love was a car. Specifically, a used red Alfa
Romeo Spider. Talk about a love-hate relationship. She had so much fun in that
car. And being blonde and 21 in it didn’t hurt either. But lord, the amount of
time and hard-earned waitressing tips spent on that car in the shop. She
chuckled thinking back to it wondering if that’s what her relationship with
Laurent was. Exhilarating, fun and great when it worked. But the repairs
started adding up. Eventually, she had to get rid of her Alfa, and had never
since felt the same about a piece of machinery… which was probably due to
maturity more than anything else. But still, the parallels were there.

As punishment to herself, since she
had been acting like such a girl, in her mind at least, she decided that she
would dress like one, for once. Sam rarely wore dresses. But it was Saturday
night and she was going out with her hot boyfriend and the night before had
been so colossally weird, so she pulled her only LBD out of the closet, put on
a garter belt and sheer black stockings, and a very sheer black bra that
revealed everything it held. She wore the pumps Laurent had given her a while
back. No underwear. And a little more makeup than usual. Most notably, red
lipstick. Sam being Sam was having a hard time with this relationship. Perhaps
Sam being Samantha could help work things out. She also put on the short black
trench coat that he bought her to cover up the surprise.

She had heard him pull up, so before
he could come up to the door, she was on her way out. He looked at her as she
came strutting up to the car and he actually whistled. Sam grinned and blushed.
He walked around to the passenger side taking her in as much as he could in the
dark, looking her up and down, and said with appreciation, “
Cheri
, I
don’t know what has gotten into you,
mais j’adore
.” As he kissed her on
both cheeks, careful not to ruin her red lips. Laurent helped her into the low
car, holding her hand as she got situated, then took one more appreciative look
before he closed the door.

 “Samantha Davis?
C’est
toi?”
he asked when he got in. He couldn’t help but smile as he grabbed her
hand and lifted it to his lips.

 “
Mais bien sur, c’est moi!”
she flirted back. It was nice to be light and easy for a change. It was only 24
hours before that he was such a different person.

He chuckled and then said, “You
know,
Cheri
, among the many things I love about you is your fluency in
French, because you are so damn sexy when you speak it, and your ability to,
uh, how shall I say, roll with the punches?”

 “Interesting choice of words.”
She smiled at him, “
Et, tu sais que j’adore parler francais
.”

 “I suppose I’m lucky I found
you then. How many perfect, sexy, smart, interesting women in LA speak French?”

 “Oh, Laurent, is that what a
dress and heels do to you? Makes you flirt with me like we’re on a first date?”

 “Is that so bad,
Cheri
?”
he asked and lifted her hand again to his lips.

 “No, Laurent. It’s nice. Very
nice.”

 “Good. And if I didn’t say so
before, you are beautiful.”

 “
Merci
, Laurent.” Sam
couldn’t keep the smile off of her face. And it was this, this exact thing that
scared the crap out of her. He had said a while back that she wanted to please.
She was realizing that he was right. She did want to please him. She didn’t
want to get too caught up in the feminist implications of that, but was it so
wrong to want to please the man you’re in love with? Could a woman do that
without losing herself? Intellectually, Sam felt like she was balancing the
two, but she also felt like she was on a tight rope and one strong wind one way
or the other might just push her over.

They drove the rest of the way in
blissful silence, Laurent’s hand never leaving hold of Sam’s.

When they got to the small Italian
restaurant, Laurent gave the valet guys what she imagined was a large bill to
make sure they took care of his car, but he also glared at the one who helped
Sam out, holding her hand to do so. Sam smiled and shook her head at Laurent.

They were greeted by the owner,
Georgio, who embraced Laurent, hugging him and then kissing each other on both
cheeks before they fell into rapid Italian. Sam had to hold herself back from
rolling her eyes as she thought,
of course he speaks perfect Italian too.
But truthfully, she loved seeing European men together. They weren’t afraid to
show their emotion. They hugged and kissed without any fear that someone would
think they were anything less than a man. Again, Sam had to stifle a chuckle
when she thought, there weren’t too many men more straight than her Laurent. So
seeing him kiss another man on his cheeks was charming. Damn him.

Laurent introduced Georgio to Sam,
“Samantha,
bella.”
He said as he kissed the back of her hand. Not that
it mattered, but Sam was glad she wore a dress. As much as she didn’t like
being on Laurent’s arm when it came to movie premieres and events, she truly
enjoyed it on nights like this. She actually liked that he was proud to show
her off.

 “
Grazie
.” Was all Sam
could say. She didn’t know much Italian.

The place was perfection. It was
intimate and charming, the smells permeating the restaurant made Sam’s mouth
water and stomach rumble. She was looking forward to a nice long dinner. More
than that, she was looking forward to a nice, normal, romantic date. Of the
many things Laurent was, he was a wonderful date and dinner companion. The
conversation always flowed, never any awkward silences, and he was always a
gentleman. True, sometimes a naughty gentleman, but in so far as she could
relax and not need to steer the evening, she came to genuinely enjoy these
evenings.

Georgio led them to a table in the
back. Before they sat, Laurent helped Sam out of her coat, and once again
smiled at her with appreciation. Sam smiled and said, “Laurent, this is
perfect.”

 “As you are,
Cheri
.”
Sam actually rolled her eyes and laughed because all she could think about was
the night before. But she didn’t want to go there just yet.

 “So you were talking wine with
him? Is that how you know him?” As they were walking to the table, Sam heard
enough to surmise this.

 “You speak Italian too?”
Laurent was genuinely surprised.

She shook her head and smiled, “No,
but between Spanish and French, it’s easy enough to pick up words to get the
gist.”

Laurent nodded, “We were talking
wine, but I was just ordering a bottle. No, I know Georgio from playing soccer
here when I first moved to the states. A bunch of mostly European guys get
together every Sunday at the high school and play. I used to be a regular, but
work and uh, life got in the way.” Sam nodded, understanding that, wondering if
she was part of the ‘life’ that got in the way.