Mistress at a Price (31 page)

‘
No,
’
he said.
‘
No one has been here apart from you.
’

‘
What a terrible waste,
’
she said.
‘
When the place is all set up for
—
whatever.
’
She paused.
‘
Clean sheets on the bed, and towels in the bathroom every day. Total anonymity. Not a sign of
—
me
—
anywhere.
’
She couldn
’
t bring herself to say
‘
us
’
.

She added,
‘
Now you can just
—
continue the tenancy.
’

‘
No,
’
he said.
‘
I shan
’
t keep the flat on.
’

‘
Why not?
’

His voice was suddenly hard.
‘
Because it
’
s outlived its usefulness.
’

‘
Rather like the affair itself,
’
she said lightly.

‘
And because I want something better for the woman I love,
’
Liam went on, as if she hadn
’
t spoken.
‘
I want to make a home with her. This is not a home, and never will be.
’

Pain slashed at her as she shrugged.
‘
But then it wasn
’
t meant to be.
’

‘
No,
’
he said.
‘
It wasn
’
t. And it
’
s fulfilled its purpose very well. Although I think we both knew it couldn
’
t last for ever.
’
He paused.
‘
I haven
’
t asked, of course, if you want to keep the flat on yourself. Somewhere to pursue your uncommitted existence,
’
he added, his lip curling slightly.

‘
God, no.
’
She even achieved a laugh.
‘
When it
’
s over, it
’
s over. And it
’
s just a shell, anyway. There
’
s nothing here.
’

She was lying, because the flat wasn
’
t empty at all. It was a network of images. Most of them intimate. All of them disturbing.

Their clothing littering the floor, she thought. Liam in bed, drinking wine with her out of the same glass. Liam watching with sensual appreciation as she stripped for him very slowly. Above all, Liam himself, naked. That beloved, precious, exciting body that she would never touch again.

Those pictures would haunt her for ever, she thought, the breath catching in her throat. Together with the tone of his voice, the smooth warmth of his skin, and the integral, unique scent of him.

‘
No,
’
he said.
‘
You
’
re right. There
’
s nothing. Which is precisely why I intend to give it up and find somewhere else. A place where I can make a life of my own, with a woman of my own.
’

‘
How cosy,
’
Cat said, wanting to hurt him as badly as she was hurting.
‘
But I hope you
’
re not planning on being a family man. I don
’
t think my mother could quite manage that.
’

‘
On the contrary,
’
he said coldly.
‘
She
’
s perfectly able to have another child if she chooses. Women older than her do it all the time.
’

No, she screamed at him silently. You can
’
t say that
—
you can
’
t even think it. Because I
’
m the one who should be having your children, and no one else. Any alternative would be obscene. It
’
s got to be me and only me
—
or else how can I bear it?

‘
Heavens,
’
she said, with an exaggerated widening of the eyes.
‘
You mean this has actually been discussed?
’

‘
We
’
ve talked about a lot of things.
’

‘
I can imagine.
’
She hesitated.
‘
Does she know about all this?
’
She gestured around her.
‘
Have you told her about us
—
about the deal?
’

‘
Do you want me to?
’
His gaze met hers, coldly, directly.

‘
No,
’
she said.
‘
I see no necessity for that. We
’
ve been discreet and kept it secret, so let it stay that way.
’
She gave a small, hard smile.
‘
Can you imagine what the press would do if news of the mother and daughter show ever got out? Not all publicity is good publicity, believe me, not even for my parents.
’

‘
I bow,
’
Liam said,
‘
to your superior judgement.
’
He walked to the mantelpiece and pocketed the keys.
‘
Is there anything else?
’
he asked.
‘
Or do we call it a day?
’

‘
I can
’
t think of a thing.
’
Cat threw back her head, letting her eyes travel slowly down his body.
‘
Unless you fancy one last encounter, of course,
’
she added, keeping her tone jokey.
‘
The bed
’
s waiting. We could say goodbye in style.
’

And if that doesn
’
t convince him that all I cared about was the sex
,
nothing will
.

‘
Thank you,
’
he said politely, with no answering amusement in his eyes.
‘
But, strangely enough, I always promised myself that when I finally met the woman I wanted for my wife I would love her and remain faithful to her for the rest of my life. But I appreciate the kind offer.
’

Cat bit her lip hard.
‘
Then
—
I hope you
’
ll be
—
happy.
’
She kept her voice steady by a superhuman effort, the rusty taste of blood in her mouth.
‘
Cheers,
’
she said brightly.
‘
And
—
thanks for the memory. All the memories.
’

His own voice was very quiet.
‘
Goodbye
—
Catherine.
’

She made it out of the flat and into the road, her head high. It was only when she was back in her car, a street away, with the doors locked, that she allowed the agony of grief to have its way with her at last. Whispering,
‘
I
’
ve lost him for ever,
’
over and over again, as the tears poured down her numb face.

Why wasn
’
t amnesia available on the health service? There were specialist clinics for everything, so why couldn
’
t she book in somewhere and say, Please erase the last three months?

She
’
d always been sparing with cosmetics, but now each morning she painted her face like an artist, trying to recreate a girl called Cat Adamson, who
’
d thought that she could have a life without love and marriage. Someone who
’
d insisted on her independence and was now stuck with it.

Someone who laughed and talked and met with clients, as if it actually mattered. And who was managing, somehow, to hide the fact that she was dying inside.

It had occurred to her that she might just possibly be expecting Liam
’
s child, and for a brief time she
’
d allowed herself the sin of hope. After all, protection sometimes failed. Her own birth had been an accident
—
a glitch in her mother
’
s career, never to be repeated. At least, not until now, when Liam had come into Vanessa
’
s life, making her reevaluate her priorities.

But the course of nature soon dealt briskly with her futile, guilty yearnings, and she tried hard to be thankful.

Apart from the continuing anguish of losing Liam, Cat found Vanessa
’
s phone calls were the most difficult problem to deal with. They would never have the perfect mother and daughter relationship, but they
’
d started almost tentatively to become friends. Now Cat had to be on her guard all the time when they spoke, waiting for Liam
’
s name to be mentioned, ready to fence and be evasive. Intent on preventing even a hint of her private agony entering her voice.

Not that he was mentioned that often, and when it happened Vanessa spoke almost casually, as if he was simply an accepted part of her life.

However, she seemed far more concerned with
Playwright in Residence
and the difficulties Sharine was causing as opening night approached, than she seemed to be with her love affair.

‘
She dried four times in her first scene last night,
’
Vanessa said irritably during one conversation.
‘
And she missed an exit cue, of all things. Stood there as if she
’
d been superglued to the stage. And it
’
s the dress rehearsal tomorrow,
’
she added with a groan.

‘
How
’
s my father taking it all?
’
Cat asked, intrigued in spite of herself.

‘
With amazing tolerance,
’
Vanessa said acerbically.
‘
Either that or he
’
s lost the will to live.
’
She paused.
‘
Now, you are coming to the opening night, darling, aren
’
t you? You can watch us being booed off the stage.
’

Cat hesitated.
‘
I
’
m not sure,
’
she said evasively.
‘
I
’
m having to work late a great deal. Times are really hard just now, and we
’
re tendering for everything these days.
’

‘
Oh, but you must come. We need one friendly face in the audience.
’
Vanessa paused.
‘
Besides, there
’
s a party afterwards, so I
’
ll leave your ticket at the box office, shall I? Must dash, sweetie. See you later.
’

Cat sighed as she switched off her phone. There was no question of her attending the party, but no matter what excuse she made, and how valid it was, both parents would be hurt if she didn
’
t show up at the theatre for the performance.

I may not have a choice here, she thought ruefully.

But when Thursday evening came she was still at her desk, working on an estimate and completely undecided on how to spend her evening.

‘
Oh, you
’
re here. Excellent.
’
Andrew appeared beside her.
‘
I may have some good news for a change.
’

He rubbed his hands almost gleefully.
‘
We
’
ve been approached by the Durant hotel chain. Smallish, classy and exclusive
—
you know the kind of thing. Lately they
’
ve been moving into some of the top resorts in Europe and the Caribbean, but now they
’
re focusing on their British market again, and planning a big refurbishment programme. And they
’
ve asked us to put in a bid for the work.
’
He whistled.
‘
Tell you what, Cat, if we get it, it
’
ll be a real feather in our collective caps.
’
He paused.
‘
Ever stayed in a Durant hotel?
’