Miss Me When the Sun Goes Down (22 page)

“What kind of factors?”

“Not to be indiscreet, but, did you drink from him?”

I thought back to the first time I tasted his blood.  I’d drunk from him when I was too naïve to recognize the signs of hunger.  “
Boy howdy, did I,” I sighed.  “Why, isn’t that common between vampires?”  It was nice to have someone to ask these kinds of questions. 

“Not as much as you’d think.”

“But what about during… you know, intimate moments?”

“That sort of relationship often exists between Sire and progeny, but rarely between unrelated vampires.” 

“Really?  I would have thought it’s something they do together all the time.”  Both of my encounters with vampires had included a blood exchange, and I assumed it was the norm.  “It seems like pure instinct to share
everything
.”

“
There is a danger in the sharing of blood for vampires.  Vampire blood is so much richer and more potent than human blood.  It’s easy to get lost in the shared experience, the giving and taking of blood.  You can sustain each other for a while, but eventually you’re going to need human or animal blood to replenish your stores.  At least one of you will have to drink something else or you’ll eventually grow weaker and weaker.  The real danger is you might not even notice until it’s too late.  I’ve heard of vampire couples that withered away to nothing, wrapped in each other’s arms, so caught up in each other that the rest of the world just faded away.”

A skeptical brow rose at that one.  “That sounds kinda like campfire stories for vampires.  How do you even know that’s true?”

“You have me there,” Jenessa laughed.  “I don’t know for sure if it’s true.  My own experiences with drinking from another vampire are limited at best, apart from my Sire.”

“Do you still see your Sire?  I mean, is that a normal thing, or do you drift apart after a while and stay apart?”  Everybody I knew well enough to talk to had a nonexistent relationship with their Sire. 

“The relationships between Sire and progeny burn out, just as they do for humans, but there is always that connection between you.  I do see him from time to time, and sometimes it’s wonderful,” she sighed dreamily.  “But then inevitably the same issues that caused us to split apart resurface and we go our separate ways again.”

“Do you mind if I ask, do you have a human you usually drink from?”

“I have a feeder, yes,” she answered without hesitation.

“
Do you give him or her your blood too?”

“Sometimes, though not very often.  It’s not good for humans to drink too much of our blood.  It changes them.”

I thought to Rob and his family, no doubt they were living proof of that.  All of a sudden the worry snuck in there about Hanna.  I remembered Mason saying something about her tasting his blood before.  “But it’s alright every now and again?”

“Oh yes, and it can be quite pleasurable as well.” 

“And do you think of your feeder as your boyfriend?”

“It’s a special bond between us, and we are physically intimate, but no, I suppose I don’t see him as a boyfriend.  I’d want someone who was more my equal for that kind of commitment.”

“Whatever works for you, I guess.”  She’d given me a lot to think about.  “I hope you don’t mind me asking you all these things.  It used to drive Bishop buggy when I ambushed him with questions.”

“I don’t mind at all.  It’s been a while since I indulged in some good old fashioned girl talk.  Most of us are just as alone in this as you are.  We can’t talk to humans about it unless we’ve compelled them to forget, and God forbid we show any weakness to another vampire,” she
said with a shake of the head. 

“Well, I appreciate it, and I promise I’ll keep whatever we talk about between us.”

“I hope you know you can trust me to do the same, whether it’s personal or about the matter we talked about before.”

“Right… did you mean it when you said you could help us get people chipped?  That seems like a huge risk to you.”

“Not so much,” she shrugged.  “As long as the paperwork can pass muster, there’s no reason for anyone to suspect the chips I dispense aren’t legitimate.  And if I handle the paperwork myself, there’s even less of a chance it’ll come under scrutiny at all.”

“It would be amazing of you to do this, but I have to ask.  Why are you willing to risk your neck for people when you work for the Order?”

“Because I believe it’s the right thing to do.  I’ve seen our kind hunted and persecuted for no other reason than they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.  A person often has no choice in being turned – it lies solely at the discretion of her Sire.”

“It sounds like you have some personal experience with that.”

“I had no choice in the matter, and it’s only because my Sire had the foresight to obtain a license that I wasn’t killed once I was turned.  I’ve seen far too many that didn’t bother with the effort die a horrible death once it came to light.  One can blame the Sire for making a bad decision, but the fledgling vampire…”

“Hasn’t done anything wrong.  I feel the exact same way.” 

“It’s those poor souls I want to help.  And I’m no stranger to the greed and corruption in the system.  If I can help in this small way, I’ll feel I’m doing something to make up for some of the less palatable things I’ve had to do in the name of the Order.”  Her face clouded with dark memories, and I wondered what she’d been asked to do for the Order.  I thought she was just a scientist, but I didn’t press for more of that story.

I heard the back door swing open.  Extending my senses, I caught Rob’s scent on the breeze and relaxed.  “It’s okay, it’s Rob.  I don’t have any secrets from him.”  It was true, he alone knew every skeleton rattling around the back of my deepest closets. 

“Everything alright here, ladies?” he asked, approaching Jenessa warily.

“It’s fine.  It’s better than fine,” I smiled, feeling like we stood a real chance at making changes with the pair of them helping me.  “Rob, do you know Jenessa?”  I wasn’t sure they’d ever been in the same place at the same time.

“I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure,” Jenessa smiled wide, offering her hand.  “It’s lovely to meet you.”  I guess I couldn’t blame her for the flirty glance she threw his way.  He was a handsome guy and he smelled wonderful, but Rob didn’t seem interested.

“Charmed,” he said shortly, giving her hand the briefest of presses.  “What’s the two of you getting up to out here?”

“It’s okay, Rob.  Actually, this is really good timing.  Rob here is the one who’s been helping me with my projects so far.  Rob, Jenessa’s going to help us on the technical side of things.”

“Do tell
,” he said carefully.

“Yes, she’s got access to the chips and the databases.  All we have to do is supply her with the information we want encoded on them and she’ll take care of the rest.”

“Is that so?” 

A furrow appeared on her smooth brow at his skeptical tone and Jenessa rose to her feet with fluid grace.  “I know what you’re worried about, and have no fear, I’m completely committed to the idea.  You can count on me.” 

“Well then, if it’s all as you say, you’ve nothing to worry about from me.”  The threat behind his tone was clear enough, and Jenessa accepted it with cool composure. 

“I
only want to do my part, you can trust in that.” She smiled before turning back to me.  “I should get back, I’ve got work to do.  Thank you for seeing me tonight, it was… liberating.” She let out a short breath.

“I’m really glad we had this chance to talk,” I assured her.  I’m not sure who started it, but an instant later we shared an impulsive hug, her smile wide when we let go.  Maybe she was in need of a real friend as much as I was?  “We’ll talk more later, I promise.”

“I’d like that.”  Jenessa picked her way through the garden, and we heard her get into a car and drive away.  I was only half listening, my mind turning over all the things we’d talked about, when Rob commandeered my attention.

“I can’t leave you alone for ten minutes, can I?” he snorted in disappointment. 

“What’s the matter?  I didn’t leave the property.”

“That’s not the dangerous part.  I don’t think it was such a hot idea bringing in that Order chippie.”

“Why not?  I trust her.”

“You can’t trust anyone, haven’t you learnt that by now?”

“I trust you,” I countered, but he wasn’t having it. 

“What’s to stop her from going to her bosses and throwing you under the bus?”

“She’s known about who I am this whole time and she never said a word.  She genuinely wants to help.  I think we can trust her.” 

“Still, I’d be careful with how much information you give her until we’ve got something to implicate her with as well.”

“Do you trust me?”

“What?”

“You said you can’t trust anyone.  Does that mean you don’t trust me either?”

“Come inside, it’s freezing out here
.” He tried to change the subject, but we both knew the cold didn’t bother me. 

“Do you trust me?” I pressed.

“I’ll bloody well have to now, won’t I?”

That talk with Jenessa was a turning point for me.  After working out a few logistics with her and a skeptical Rob, we were in the sanctuary business.  Rob’s contacts came through with the necessary papers for Javier and Abel, and Jenessa had no trouble at all encoding them onto a chip and entering it into the database.  I worked out a dead drop with Javier at Rob’s insistence (just to make sure it wasn’t all part of an elaborate sting operation), and soon they had everything they needed to start living their lives together without fear of prosecution. 

The successful job helped ease some of Rob’s worries about Jenessa, but he was still hyper-vigilant over anything that had to do with my safety.  The word started to get out
that we could help a vampire get past the system on a case by case basis at my discretion.  I didn’t take anyone who hadn’t already been rejected by the usual channels first, or who didn’t have what I deemed to be an urgent need (like being turned against their will), and I didn’t accept any money for helping them. 

If someone needed a place to lay low for a while, I opened my attic to them
– again, only if they had a good reason, not just for any petty criminal off the streets.  My expectations were clear.  In exchange for my help, they agreed to treat people humanely and stay out of trouble once they got away safely.  If it was about helping a Sire with an unlicensed fledgling, the Sire pledged complete responsibility for his progeny.  If the newbie vamp killed or broke any other laws, they’d both be punished.     

Little by little I started to inject my beliefs into vampire society, trying to bring humanity back to the undead.  We shouldn’t take advantage of humans just because we could.  Maybe they went along with it because they were all afraid of me, but if I could change the way they acted, maybe in time I could change their beliefs too. 

Maggie turned out to be a whiz at the household finances and coordinating my schedule, which had rapidly grown out of control following the party.  I received invitations to everything from elegant soirees to the opening of a new bail bondsman’s office thanks to my varied constituents.  I couldn’t go to them all or I’d never have a moment to myself, so Maggie developed a three tiered system, pre-screening all of my mail to save me the time and sending beautiful declination gifts to those I couldn’t attend. 

We set regular hours for counseling on Thursdays from midnight to four at the Hart, which left more of my free time to focus on what I liked to do most, helping people.  I spent hours tapped into the Order’s dispatch interface after Rob and Jenessa put their heads together and figured out a way to hack into the system.  Whenever they got a call about something that fell into my particular interests, off I’d go like
Spiderman to save the day.  If Jenessa wondered how I managed to stop the Order time and again without becoming public enemy number one, she never said a word of it. 

Sometimes I wondered if Carter would approve of the whole set up, and I almost wished I had a way to contact him.  He would have been a valuable member of the team.  Then again, his methods had always been a
smidgen direct for my uses, so maybe it was for the best that we worked independently.

I spent most of my free hours training with Rob.  He continued his lessons and we graduated from instruction into actual sparring, though I think we both held back
a bit.  Not that I had much use for his training – I never so much as lifted a finger in my dealings with the Order or anyone else.  Most people considered me to be too tough to tangle with, and I finessed the Order with my compulsion without ever having to get physical.  But it was nice to feel like I could handle myself if someone tried to come after me again. 

Somewhere along the line I realized – I’d become a strong, confident vampire, no
longer masquerading as one any more.  Between the physical assurance I had that I could hold my own in a fight, to the experience dispensing my judgment, to the relief it was to confide in Jenessa about all those things I’d been too afraid to ask anyone else about, my self confidence took a turn for the better. 

I tried a couple of times to thank Rob for helping me become this better person, but the most I got from him was a grunt of acknowledgement before he showed me another way to disembowel someone with a letter opener.  My interactions with him were still hit and miss at best.  One day I’d get normal Rob, with his underplayed sense of humor and even a wink or two, and then he’d turn on a dime and withdraw behind a wall again. 

As I grew more confident with my physicality, we progressed from where we’d meet to spar in the attic to where he’d attack me at random times, trying to catch me off guard.  Though I loved playing Green Hornet to his Kato, it did make me rethink my choice in shoes a few times before going out, and maybe that was part of his point.  It’s hard to be a badass in strappy sandals.

It became so that I didn’t wonder if he’d launch himself at me out of the blue
. I started to try to lure him out, making a game out of predicting when he’d strike.  As I left the club on foot one night after sending the guys off to drive the girls home, I knew it was only a matter of time before he made his move, and I deliberately took the long way home even though there was a light drizzle in the air.  

Despite my enhanced senses, Rob moved freakishly quiet most of the time, and I gave up on trying to hear him coming with the ambient street noises.  Instead, I focused on the terrain.  I knew he could guess the path I’d take once I’d started walking, and I tried to puzzle out where he might feel the most secure in ambushing me. 

In time I started to learn how his mind worked.  It wasn’t just about getting the drop on me.  It was also about attacking me in a place where we wouldn’t easily be spotted so no one would call the police, and also in a place where I wasn’t likely to get hurt. 

I decided to make it a little harder on him, keeping to well lit sidewalks and busier streets until I could lure him onto a narrow footpath beside an arroyo.  Once I could control the location of the attack it was far easier to anticipate, and for the first time, I managed to completely dodge his first strike
. 

Not only that, I used a trick he’d taught me, using his momentum to shove him off balance, sending him crashing into a nearby tree.  The breath left his body with an “oof”, and instead of immediately resuming his attack, he straightened slowly, a hand going to his ribs. 

“Good shot, that,” he winced. 

“I’m sorry!” I cried out, worried I’d cracked his rib or worse.  “I wasn’t aiming for the tree, I promise.  Are you okay?”

“Not sure, I think maybe I should have this checked out,” he replied, his face contorted with pain as he limped towards me, right up until the last second when he dropped the façade and charged at me.  The trick worked, and I didn’t so much as flinch before he tackled me to the ground, pinning me beneath him.

“You suck!”  My arms were
trapped behind my back and I couldn’t sit up enough to get any leverage. 

“Not so cocky now, yeah?” he grinned.  

“Oh, you are so gonna get it…” I growled, cracking my skull against his with a satisfying crunch.  Rob was wholly unprepared for the move; he knew I didn’t like to head butt and his hold on me slipped enough that I wormed a hand free.  Instead of hitting him, I reached under his jacket to tickle his exposed sides.  Only it didn’t work.  I could feel the muscles leap and jump under my fingers, but he didn’t so much as flinch.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he demanded, one eye scrunched halfway closed where I’d hit him. 

“Um, trying to tickle you?”

“I’ve got you pinned to the
ground and that’s your defense?  If I was a proper villain I’d have had you gutted nine ways from Sunday by now.”

“I didn’t know you weren’t ticklish.  Just give me a sec to come up with something better.”

Instead of waiting, he rolled off of me, exasperation coming off of him in waves.  “How many times do I have to tell you to stop holding back?”

“You do it too,” I scowled, accepting his hand up.  “I can take it if you can.  Actually
, I can take a lot more, my healing is much faster than yours.  So who’s a hypocrite now?”

“Bring it then
.  Let’s see if you’ve been paying attention.”  He shouldn’t have warned me. I was ready for it when his leg swept out, even though he moved faster than I’d thought possible for a human. 

But I was faster. 

I deflected the shot like I’d been taught, hooking my ankle around his to bring him to the ground.  Instead of letting him catch his breath this time, I followed up with an elbow to the jaw, trying not to cringe on the inside when the back of his head struck the pavement.  The scent of his blood reached my nose and its distraction was my undoing. 

My attention split between trying to figure out where he was bleeding from and how best to get a taste,
and I completely missed the knee until it connected with my belly.  Seizing upon his advantage, Rob rolled on top of me to assert his dominance. I regained enough presence of mind to keep the momentum going, rolling us off the path and down the arroyo into the creek below.  

By luck or skill, I ended up on top, and used my considerable strength and newfound training to pin him down, our bodies lying half in and half out of the water.  Rob lurched first one way and then another, but I didn’t lose my grip, thanks in part to the fact that his legs were tangled in the reeds.  Fat drops of rain plunked on the back of my head and across his face as he squinted up at me. 

“Do you give?” I asked, ready for the head butt I knew was coming and able to easily dodge it.  “Do you give?” I pressed, shifting my knee against his, applying pressure where he’d shown me it would do the most damage. 

Rob gave a short nod, and
I let him go, pushing up against his chest to straddle him.  It started to rain in earnest but I didn’t care, I turned my head up to the sky and gave a whoop for victory.  “I am the champion of the world!”  I crowed in triumph, holding my hands up, Rocky style.  I felt his hands settle on my hips and he shifted slightly, but I clamped my thighs together, not ready to let him get up just yet.  “Go ahead, say it.  I’m the champion,” I prompted him, a teasing lilt to my voice.  

He shifted uncomfortably, fingers tightening on my jeans.  “I’d rather you got off me first.”

“Not before you say I’m the champion,” I insisted.

He stared up at me helplessly.  “You’re the bloody champion of the world.  Do you mind getting off me now?”

“Oh come on, don’t be a sore loser,” I sighed, letting go enough for him to scramble out from under me, which he did, quick as anything.

“I am that, right enough,” he muttered, climbing to his feet.  “We’re done for today.”

“Aw, Rob, don’t be like that.” I sat back on my heels, watching him struggle to pull the torn reeds from around his legs.  “You can’t be mad that I beat you.”

“I’m not.”

“What’s wrong then?  Did I do something else?”

“No, I did.  I did something stupid and selfish, and I’m completely to blame.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“That’s as it should be.”  He started up the hill and I trailed after him, determined to have it out between us once and for all. 

“Rob… I miss you, okay?  I miss the way we used to be together.”

He didn’t so much as slow, trudging up the muddy path to the paved trail above.  “I can’t do that anymore,” he growled, keeping his back to me as I chased after him.

“I don’t understand.  Why don’t you want to be my friend anymore?”

“Because I don’t want to be your friend at all!” he thundered, pivoting around so fast I thought he might strike out at me.  In a way, I almost wish he had, it would have hurt less.  My bottom lip hung loose and quivering, unable to protect myself from that kind of attack.  His anger crumpled in the face of my shock, and I saw regret replace it along with a yearning so sharp, I couldn’t fathom it. 

In the next instant his lips covered mine, swallowing my gasp of surprise.  My body recovered before I did, my mind still reeling from the realization that he’d kissed me in the first place.  Without thinking twice about it, I went into his arms. I’d spent plenty of time there while training, but it never felt like this before.  Standing in the pouring rain, his kiss was hot and wet and pulsing with unleashed need.  Everything about him felt desperate and hungry for response, as though he was drowning and couldn’t breathe without me.

But it was over before I could adjust to the fact that maybe I wanted him to kiss me
.

Rob wrenched his mouth from mine, his breath steaming between us.  I clung to him, shaken to the core by the unexpected turn of events, and he looked down at me with such a haunted look behind his eyes, I was afraid of what he’d say next.  Instead he shook his head roughly, water flinging every which way, letting go of me so abruptly I almost lost my balance.

“Rob…”  My lips felt numb in the absence of his kiss. 

“Bugger
this,” he growled, leaving me standing in the rain, trembling down to my toes, and not from the cold.

* * *

Every last inch of me was soaked by the time I got home, half in a daze.  Maggie clucked over me, bringing me a towel and trying to get me into the tub, but I refused her.  The cold didn’t bother me, but the very real possibility of Rob leaving without getting to talk to him chilled me to the bone.   He wasn’t in his room and no one had seen him come back yet, but his things were all still there. I took that as a good sign.