Mind Gym (16 page)
Authors: Sebastian Bailey
Professionals believe that attention to detail is everything. Whereas drivers are eager to move on to the next challenge, professionals like to tackle their challenges and finish their tasks properly. They are driven by a desire to do something very well—they want the best possible solution, and once they commit, they will be inclined to do whatever it takes to get that best solution. They might accomplish this by thinking differently about a problem or being very thorough in the way they do something, or both. The professional’s mantra is the saying “If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing properly.” The professional’s desire for things to be “right” means that they are often the first to spot gaps or errors and to challenge assumptions about the way things are done. They value being given the freedom and independence to think things through by themselves. Their desire for self-sufficiency, however, means they can also be hard to get to know.
Here are some classic signs of a professional:
• Stuck with a problem? “Let me think about it” is a professional’s natural response.
• At their best, professionals are independent, original, rigorous, self-contained, thorough, and accurate.
• At their worst, professionals are aloof, nitpicky, cold, long-winded, and fussy.
• Professionals hate slapdash behavior, delivering something that isn’t finished, being rushed into things, being told how to do something, constant disruptions, personal questions, big egos, and group hugs.
• They are the perfect person if you want something done “right.”
Adapters are people who are a combination of all the other three styles. They see the merits of focusing on people, getting things done, and doing things right. They value flexibility and take a balanced approach to any situation. They often take the role of peacekeeper in a disagreement, because they quickly empathize with each of the different perspectives. Adapters like to experiment, be open to change, and make sure all the bases are covered and all the options are considered. They sometimes feel pulled in many directions by their different motivations.
Here are some classic signs of an adapter:
• Stuck with a problem? “I’ll work out a way to find a solution” is their natural response.
• At their best, adapters are flexible, adaptable, collaborative, good mediators, and jacks of all trades.
• At their worst, adapters are weak, political, all-pleasing, without conviction, and masters of none.
• Adapters hate people who are stuck in their ways, obstinacy, and extreme behaviors.
• They are the perfect person if you want someone to manage all possible eventualities.
Now that you know the four basic motivational styles, the next step is to understand how people with different styles interact with one another. This is where it gets interesting—and problematic—in relationships. You might be on a team or in a relationship in which one person is motivated by doing something thoroughly and another person is motivated by getting results as quickly as possible and moving on. When these different motivations collide, the result is often conflict.
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Drivers:
They are a bit egotistic. They might mean well, but they can plow over other people. I would like to get to know drivers better, but I’m not sure I would like what I found. If drivers took a little more time to get to know people, and be more sensitive, they would be a lot more effective.
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Professionals:
They are a bit like a cold fish. They’re very good at making sure we do things properly, but they can take it to extremes—even when it’s obvious everyone else is bored or wants to get on with things, they just keep going.
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Adapters:
They are open to new ideas. They appreciate that people matter. I like their flexibility, but I’m never quite sure where they stand.
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Carers:
They’re soft and easy to get around. They deal with the people stuff, which doesn’t really interest me. They can be overly sensitive. However, they’re good people to go to when I need support and need to get others on board with me.
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Professionals:
They’re painfully slow. Don’t they care about results? I wish they’d live in the real world. They’re always finding fault with things. On a good day, I guess they stop us from errors and can get us to come up with better ideas, but there is always a price.
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Adapters:
They seem to understand the importance of getting things done, but they change their views and are hard to pin down.
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Carers:
They often ask me how I feel rather than what I need—and this misses the point. They’re quite needy, although they are friendly and mean well. And they always seem interested in what I have to say—they’ll listen even if they don’t always understand.
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Drivers:
They are adrenaline junkies—always looking for change rather than following things through. I admire their energy but get frustrated by their lack of staying power. If you want something left half finished, then they are the right people to ask.
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Adapters:
They need to get their priorities straight. They’re thinking is often muddled, although they are more sympathetic to making sure things are done properly than the others.
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Carers:
They have a sensitive side, which I appreciate. It’s good to have someone who cares and keeps the group together. However, they can fail to understand that other people’s priorities are different.
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Drivers:
They have lots of drive and energy to make things happen, but they need to listen more and be open to different approaches.
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Professionals:
They have an excellent eye for detail and quality, but they can be very set in their ways and sticklers for process. This means that they don’t always know when to let go and when to stand firm.
All the reactions to motivational styles that are different from our own are very common. While each type of person may admire the qualities of the other, it’s easy to see how these types of people can, unintentionally, rub one another the wrong way. For example, imagine if four people with different motivational styles had to choose a restaurant for dinner together. The carer would be eagerly asking everyone what type of food or ambience they wanted, the professional would be checking restaurant ratings and prices online, the driver might listen to them for a few moments before getting fed up and announcing where they should go (“Let’s just go; otherwise, we’ll still be discussing it when all the restaurants are closed”), and the adapter would be tempted to agree with the last person speaking or suggest a process to make a decision.
All these different approaches are not conducive to a great evening out. So, if you were in this group and wanted to get the best outcome for you and the group, you would need to adapt your behavior to fit with other people’s motivations.
The way you choose to make a good impression on people will depend on that individual’s motivational style. All of us are likely to be a mix of more than one type. However, if you can spot a person’s dominant or strongest motivation, then there are things you can do to create a positive relationship that will give both of you what you need. Below are some clues on how to spot each motivational style.
Carers will ask how you are. They will remember your birthday, the names of your family members, and your various pets. They will be thrilled to connect one person with another. They make great hosts of parties and will always make sure people are comfortable.
Carers will also stand up for others. Just because they like harmony, that doesn’t mean they shy away from conflict; if there is an underdog, a carer is more than likely to support them and help them take on an opponent. However, if there is a way of solving a problem without becoming too competitive, that’s what they’d prefer.
How to Get the Best from Carers
Involve them, ask their advice, and make them feel appreciated and included. Carers love being involved in the emotional and personal aspects of any situation. Remember that they feel frustrated when they feel powerless to help. If you go to a carer with a problem, help them to help you solve it; otherwise, they may feel as though you are simply dumping on them. A carer’s desire to keep everyone happy can sometimes backfire because they find it difficult juggling conflicting interests.
Drivers see themselves as people who do things and make stuff happen. Ask them what they did on the weekend and you’ll probably hear about the seven things they managed to squeeze into an action-packed forty-eight hours. Drivers are drawn to competitive activities, so a “friendly” afternoon has all the competitive hallmarks of a Boston Marathon. Often because drivers want to achieve, they are in a hurry or anxious about doing something. Drivers don’t mind a bit of an argument (and may even stir the pot sometimes). They will always stand up for their point of view. Of course, drivers will relax, but even that might be done ferociously, with just enough time to chill out before the next event makes an appearance.
How to Get the Best from Drivers
Drivers like activity and action. To get the best from a driver you need to present a situation in an energetic manner. What is challenging about the situation? What is exciting about it? What is the ultimate goal? A driver’s threshold for boredom can be quite low, so challenges need to be appealing. Bear with a driver if they respond competitively to challenges, and allow them to enjoy their moment if they succeed. Like carers, drivers like appreciation. But rather than being appreciated for their support, they like appreciation for having met a goal or challenge. When possible, avoid overexplaining or holdups in processes. Drivers just want to race forward.
For professionals, quality is the best policy. Professionals believe that there is a “right” way of doing something. Given that, a professional may well tell you that your apostrophe is in the wrong place. They’ll give you details about things, like how the best restaurant in the area is just around the corner (they’ll also provide the address), and they’ll tell you what to avoid (“The kung pao chicken is horrible”).
You can also spot a professional by the fact that they will have an opinion, and while it may not always be stated, it will certainly be held. The thing about professionals is that whether their opinion is wildly unorthodox or traditional in the extreme, they are sure it is the right opinion.
How to Get the Best from Professionals
Professionals like independence and self-sufficiency, so give them plenty of opportunity to think things through. They appreciate exploring how to improve or change what currently exists, and they want the opportunity to do something original. They will not be pleased to have to provide a poorly thought-out or overly hurried answer, so give them ample time to arrive at a great solution. Patience with professionals often pays off because they offer interesting and improved solutions.
Adapters can adopt any of the other motivational styles. They may focus on people, challenges, or finding the “right” solution. You can spot an adapter because he or she will probably understand all the other motivations and think of the one that isn’t being represented at the time. As well as taking account of everyone’s opinions, an adapter will be extremely flexible and creative about coming up with alternatives and different solutions.
How to Get the Best from Adapters
Let them work through the contingencies and allow them to explain the differences between the others. Give them the opportunity to be flexible and change their minds about how to do something. By doing so, they may well come up with something you’d never have thought of yourself. And if they are behaving like one of the other motivational types, then adapt your own behavior accordingly.
You may have made a good guess at what your dominant motivational style is after reading this chapter. The following quiz will give you a basic understanding or affirmation of what you probably already know.
Keep in mind as you take this quiz that it’s best to think about the results in context. Rather than thinking about your life as a whole, try focusing during the quiz on a particular part of your life, like your work or your role as a parent.
For each statement in this quiz, you have 10 points to allocate between the three alternatives (
a, b
, and
c
), depending on how much you think each applies to you. This could be a combination of 3, 3, 4 or 10, 0, 0 or 7, 2, 1—you can assign as many or as few points as you like to each statement option, as long as the total equals 10. Your response might look something like this:
0. I really like it when . . .
a. things are done correctly.
5
b. the other people involved feel good as well.
2
c. I’ve achieved something difficult.
3
Don’t worry or think too much about the points; just assign the value that seems right to you about the area of your life you’re currently focused on. Ready? Go.
1. I really like it when . . .