Million Dollar Mistake (25 page)

Yes, but this was different, she told herself. He knew. She didn’t. It all came down to that. What was a relationship if there was no trust?

She sat on the bed, forcing herself to be honest. Not a strong family trait, she thought, considering what she’d just learned about her father’s activities. So she couldn’t blame Nicholas for his actions there. Oh, she’d like to, but knew he was doing the right thing for her father and her family in the long run. But she could blame him for his actions regarding this situation.

Sniffing, miserable, her eyes pumping tears like a fountain, she looked across the room at her reflection in the dressing-table mirror.

“What do you think? Would it have mattered if I’d really known? Would I have been more careful?”

As the mirror-lady shook her head, Raven agreed. “You’re right. I would’ve still tumbled into love with him.”

Using the heels of her hands, she wiped her tears and turned away from her image to sprawl across the bed. “Now what?” she wondered, as she stared up at the canopy.

Now you pack, she answered herself. You do what you always do. You leave. But this time, you won’t run away. You’ll go home to deal with your father. Then you’ll take some time to see what you want. And if you want Nicholas—

At the tentative knock on her door, she sat up and narrowed her eyes at the helpless piece of paneled wood.

“Go away, Nicholas. I’m not speaking with you.”

“It isn’t Nicholas.”

“Jackson?”

“May I come in for a minute?”

Raven shoved her hair back, rubbed at her face again and then stood up. “Um… sure, I’m coming.”

Walking over to the door, she took a quick peek in the mirror and almost groaned. She looked like she’d been squeezed through a wringer-washer. But it couldn’t be helped. She needed to speak with Jackson, anyway, so she might as well do it now.

She took a deep breath and opened the door. “Hi.”

“Hello.”

They stood and stared at each other, both rather uncomfortable.

“May I come in?” Jackson finally asked.

She indicated the hall. “Um, why don’t we go—”

“I just want to talk.” He gave her a charming smile and crossed his heart as a pledge. “Honest.”

“Okay.” She smiled and opened the door for him to step through. “Would you like to sit down?”

She followed his gaze as he looked around for his options, which consisted of the slipper chair, the dressing stool and the bed. The last had him flushing and rocking back on his heels. “I’ll stand.”

Raven nodded again. “Me too.”

Jackson laughed. “God, this is hard. I feel like I’m in front of the congregation and have just forgotten my Bible lesson.”

 
Raven laughed with him. “I can relate. Oh, except for the Bible and the congregation part. I mean about feeling—”

Jackson placed his hand over hers. “I know.”

She fell silent, her recent unhappiness rushing over her.

“Raven, I’m sorry.”

“For what? I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

“I have a confession to make.”

Raven sighed. “It seems to be the day for it.”

“When I brought you up here, I wasn’t sure where we would go. I mean, we’d had fun, and God knows I’ve wanted you ever since I first saw you two years ago.”

“You saw me two years ago? I didn’t know that.”

“It was at a party in Washington. You were there with an older woman. She might have been a relative, I guess.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“You walked into the room and my heart stopped.”

“Jackson, don’t—”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going where you think I’m going.”

“All right.”

“I had to leave that night without scoring an introduction. When we met a few months ago, while you were on vacation in Florida, all that feeling came rushing back. We saw each other a few times and had fun. We talked, laughed, and I could be myself. Or the self I thought I wanted to be. But I had to leave on business before seeing if we could…” He stepped farther away from her, silent for a moment before turning to look her straight in the eye. “When I saw you again in Colorado, I thought, why not take a risk? I wanted to see if you could really fit into my world or if I was fooling myself. I got on your father’s good side and he helped push you in my direction.”

“I’m not sure I was worth all that trouble. I don’t have a history of long-lived relationships.” She blinked hard to keep her most recent relationship with Nicholas from overwhelming her. She refused to cry over another man in front of Jackson.

Stepping closer, he said, “You’re wrong, Raven. You’re worth it.”

Looking up at his serious face, she stroked his cheek and smiled again. “Thank you. I needed that.”

“But,” his voice gentled, “not for me. I know that now.”

“Ah, I see.”

“I was pushing you to marry me for the wrong reasons, Raven. And you deserve so much more than that.”

Raven stared at him for a moment, at this man she’d thought she knew, whom she’d treated with such a cavalier attitude. She glanced away, inhaling, trying to keep her emotions in check long enough to speak.

“You deserve more too.”

He gave her a rueful grin. “I’m working on it.”

She surprised herself by grinning back. “Does that mean you’ve finally realized your father was right about Lorianne?”

Jackson groaned. “I hate to admit it because he’ll never let me forget it, but yes, I think he was right all along.”

“He does seem the type to rub it in,” she said in a careful tone.

“Story of my life.” Jackson shrugged. “But this time I can deal with it.”

“That’s great, Jackson. I’m happy for you.”

“What about you? Any news you want to share?”

“No.”

“Come on, give,” he teased, giving her a friendly little shake. “Something tells me you and Nicholas aren’t just a ‘convenient engagement’. The heat you two generate almost blew me out of the room every time you were together.”

Raven was silent for a moment. “There’s heat and there’s
heat
.”

“Meaning?”

“It can flame out. Some things last and some don’t.”

Jackson stared at her. “I thought—”

“You thought wrong. Nicholas and I are very good at playing games.”

“Games,” Jackson said, his tone indicating he wasn’t buying it, but was willing to let it go.

“Jackson, can you give me a ride to the airport? Your father said it’s open.”

“Yes, of course.”

“Now?”

“Now?” he asked, surprised. “Um, sure.”

“I’ll pack and meet you downstairs in five minutes.”

He turned to leave. “I’ll get the car warmed up.”

Raven stopped him with a hand on his arm. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for not asking any questions. Lorianne is a very lucky woman.”

He stared at her. “And Nicholas is a very unlucky man.”

It took Nicholas half an hour to calm down enough to think through his options. He’d paced the floor of the loft until he’d almost worn a track in the wood. Finally, he decided to find Raven and get this nonsense settled once and for all. He strode to the door, yanked it open and stepped into the second floor hallway. His long strides ate up the carpet on the way to Raven’s bedroom door. Shoulders squared, jaw clenched, he rapped on the wood.

“Raven.”

Silence.

He knocked harder. “Come on, Raven, open the door.”

Still, no answer.

“Raven, you’re behaving like a child. Open up.”

When there was again no answer, he took a deep breath and turned the knob. His tone softened. “Okay, Raven, I was wrong. I admit that, but we need to—”

He slammed to a stop as he took in the empty room. His gaze darted to the luggage rack. Her bags were gone, and more tellingly, the dressing table wasn’t littered with the paraphernalia that she used to enhance her appeal. Not that she needed it, he thought. At least not for him. Young, old, made-up or not, she’d always appeal to him. He knew that now.

He walked over to the dressing table and touched the lonely tube of lipstick that she’d overlooked. Feeling like an idiot, he picked it up and twisted it open to stare at the brilliant color, color he’d remembered kissing off Raven’s luscious lips. With a careful gesture, he replaced the cap and slipped it into his pants pocket, fingering it like a talisman.

“Dammit, Raven,” he swore softly.

He stood another minute, taking in the room again. It was lonely and cold without Raven’s vital presence. Just as his life would be if she weren’t part of it.

He’d hurt her. Hurt her because he’d discovered he was a coward. Externally, he was a shark when it was necessary. But business and law were rather impersonal, cool heads generally prevailed; regardless of how churned up he might be inside. That’s why he’d been so successful. Most of the time, his head was cool.

But not with Raven. Never with Raven.

When it came to facing his emotions, to opening himself to the full extent—he was terrified. He should have talked straight as soon as he’d discovered he was falling in love with her.

He’d said the words, “I love you”. But he hadn’t given her the rest of it, the rest of himself—his deepest feelings and emotions, his fears and terrors.

He’d remedy that right now.

With a firm, determined stride, he left the room, walked down the hall, descended the steps to the foyer and looked around for signs of her luggage. Seeing none, he quickened his pace and headed for the drawing room. A quick scan from the doorway revealed no Raven inside.

Instead Nana said, “If you’re looking for Raven, she’s gone.”

Nicholas glanced toward the windows to where Nana stood, straight as a tiny sentry, with a smiling Lorianne beside her.

“Where is she?”

Nana ignored him and moved toward him, shaking her finger as if he was a naughty child. “What do you think you’re doing, young man?”

He met her halfway and tried to smile. It fell flat. “Hell, if I know,” he muttered.

Nana bobbed her chin, sharply. “I’d agree with that—and then some.”

He glanced over at Lorianne, who still stood by the windows watching them, then gave Nana a somewhat wry glance. “I’m sure you would.”

“For a man with so many skills, you’ve showed remarkably few in your dealings with Raven.”

“I know,” he said again, feeling like a six-year-old being scolded for stealing cookies.

Nana turned to include Lorianne in the conversation. “From the minute I saw the four of you together, I’d anticipated some fun and,” she grinned, “some fireworks.”

“I hope you weren’t disappointed,” Nicholas said dryly.

“Not at all. It reminded me of my own courtship. Impulsive, misunderstood, romantic.” Nana sighed, walking over to the fireplace mantle to pick up a photograph. “It was wonderful.”

Nicholas wasn’t sure what to say, but Lorianne knew. She strolled over to Nana and gave her a hug. “I wish I could have known him.”

“You would have been fascinated, dear.” Nana smiled, eyes sparkling. “He did that to everyone. My parents didn’t want me to marry him, threatened to disown me, but I didn’t care. He was mine. I knew that the minute I saw him. Like Raven, he had a charm and a charisma that captivated anyone within two feet.” She chuckled. “I had to beat women off him with a stick half the time.”

Nicholas laughed. “I’ll bet you were up to the task.”

“That I was. I couldn’t live without him,” Nana agreed. She replaced the photo and turned to face him, her expression determined. “But this is about you, Nicholas.”

Nana walked over to him. She only came up to his heart, he thought, looking down with a slight smile, but she scared him silly. “From the first minute it was obvious to everyone that you and Raven, and Lorianne and Jackson belonged together. Somehow you got off track, no thanks to my son, J.R., so I decided to help a bit.”

“Thank you,” Lorianne inserted. “I think it’s working.”

Nana gave her an amused glance. “Of course it is. Men always want another dog’s bone. Jackson is no different.” As she turned a stern gaze back to face him, Nicholas had to fight the impulse to run. “Neither are you, Nicholas Demetrious.”

He frowned. “That’s not why I want Raven.”

“Why do you want her?”

“She’s Raven. That’s enough for any man.”

“Then you should have done a better job keeping her.”

“It’s complicated.”

“No, it’s not. It’s very simple.” Nana sent Lorianne an amused glance. “It’s just like a man to make it complicated.”

Taking him off guard, Nana attacked, her words sharp and staccato, “Could you live without Raven?”

At her fierce look, his voice raised until it was almost a shout, “No. I’m in love with her, goddammit. Now where is she?”

“Jackson took her to the airport,” Lorianne said.