Million Dollar Mistake (23 page)

Long moments passed as they lay locked in a hazy world of their own making, unable to move, unable to catch their breath. Neither of them spoke for a moment. How could you reduce what they’d just experienced into words? Nicholas wasn’t sure he had the skill to try; but try he must. She had to understand not only what she meant to him, but the situation that had brought him here.

His brain still fuzzy after spectacular sex, the only thing he could come up with to start was— “Well, that was really something.”

Raven smiled and smoothed a finger over his jaw. “Yes.”

“You’re one of a kind, sweetheart. No woman has ever jolted me like this. I’m not sure how to handle it.”

Her smiled widened. “Handle what?”

“You, us, this situation. It’s a mess.”

“A mess,” she repeated, her smile fading. “Is that what you’d call what happened?”

“You should only know,” he muttered, thinking not only of how to confess his feelings, but also of the other confession he had to make to her, and of her possible response. She’d taken his decisions concerning her father in the right spirit, but he doubted she’d feel the same about his business deal with J.R. Exeter.

She pushed at his shoulders, shifting him so she could wiggle out from beneath his body. “Don’t worry about it.”

Then, when it really mattered, all of his sophisticated wit, his skill with women, his smooth-talking tongue deserted him and he blurted, “Raven, I don’t want you…” At a loss he trailed off.

She wrinkled her brow at his silence. “You don’t want me?”

“Huh? Of course I do.”

“You just said you didn’t.”

He frowned at her, trying to focus. He’d never told a woman he loved her before. It was harder than it looked. He wondered if his cousin Darcy had had this much trouble telling his wife, Silver.

Finally, he thought he’d formed the right words. “Sex can change things. Sometimes you say things and later wish you’d not said them. Because you didn’t say the right things, and you should’ve. I don’t want you to think this—”

“Don’t worry, darling,” she interrupted, her tone light and brittle, her body hunched a bit as if huddling under a protective shell. “I make it a point not to think after sex. It’s too much effort. So the
‘situation’
is under control.”

He frowned at her insouciant response, cleared his throat and tried again. “I wish it were. But that’s not what I mean. I’m trying to say there’s more to this than sex.”

Raven started gathering her clothes. “Are you referring to my father?”

“No,” he denied with a sharp shake of his head. “He’s a minor irritant in all this. I’m talking about you and Jackson. About the Exeters.”

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore, Nicholas. Jackson and I are over. Not that we ever really were. Deep down, I think he’s always known that too.”

Nicholas gave her an emphatic nod and made things worse as he said, “I made sure of it.”

She glared at him. “Oh, you did. Lord, you are so arrogant. So sure you’re always right.”

“Well—” He shut up as she glared at him.

Growling like an infuriated kitten, she turned with a flounce. Locating her pants and sweater on a nearby hay bale, she jerked them on, paying no attention to her lack of underwear, which was still littering the straw next to Nicholas. Then she indicated the quilt as she sent him a withering look. “Besides, after this, how the hell could you think I’d even consider it?”

He scrambled to his feet and reached for her, missing as she feinted to the right to avoid him. “What do you mean?”

Hands on her hips she glared at him. “I mean I’m in love with you, you annoying, insufferable ass.”

If a lightning bolt had struck from above, he couldn’t have been more staggered. Praying his knees wouldn’t buckle, he gaped at her. God, she was glorious, with hot temper adding spice to her ripe, delicious body, and that fantastic face, which was still flushed from their lovemaking.

“What do you have to say about that?” she continued, her voice rising until it approached a shout.

His mouth finally started working enough to say, “What?”

“Don’t give me that innocent, shocked look. You heard me.” She picked up his clothes and threw them at him. “You’re getting goose bumps. Put your clothes on.”

He tore the sweater off his shoulder, his own temper rising. She had a way of doing that to him at the most inconvenient times. “What do I have to say?”

She turned her back on him. “Forget it. I don’t want to hear.”

“You asked, so you’ll damn well listen.”

With a saucy head toss, she said in a singsong tone, like a kid taunting a playmate, “I’m not interested.”

Her tone got to him as it was meant to do. Grabbing her arms, Nicholas spun her around, shouting, “I’m in love with you, too, you irritating brat.”

Raven blinked. “You are?”

“Yes. Hell knows why.”

“Same goes, pal. You’re bossy and opinionated, and you drive me crazy.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m in total agreement. Nine times out of ten, I want to tie you up and lock you in a trunk.”

“Back at you.” Eyes narrowed, Raven tossed the words at him like a fast pitch in a no-hitter game.

“Dammit, Raven, just when I think I have everything figured out, you throw me a curve. I must be a masochist to think about putting up with this.”

“You’re not the only one.”

Their tempers seemed to run down at the same time as they stared at each other, still panting and scowling, but a hint of light breaking over their faces.

“You love me?” Raven finally whispered.

“Yes.”

“Telling true?”

He crossed his heart, spit on his finger and raised it to pledge. “Telling true.”

Wonder crossed her face. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything. We get along better when we don’t talk.”

She chuckled. “We have to talk sometime.”

He grinned back at her. “I don’t think so. We’ll just make love instead.”

“That could get embarrassing.”

He pulled her into his arms. “I’ll risk it if you will.”

“My father will disown me.”

“No worries, sweetheart. You don’t have any money anyway, remember?”

“Oh, that’s right.”

“Best thing that could happen is, he’ll stop talking to us.” Before she could protest that comment, he took her lips in a way designed to change the subject. Long heated moments passed before they surfaced.

“Whew,” Raven breathed. “Is that how you plan to handle all of our discussions?”

“Works for me.” Nicholas grinned, releasing her. “Get your coat.”

Raven sighed. “Time to get back to reality?”

“Afraid so.” He located his jacket and slipped it on, then turned to assist with hers.

As she bent over to pick up her bra and panties and stick them in her pocket, a disgruntled, “Meow,” came from the straw underneath her coat, followed by an annoyed black-and-white face.

She kneeled down to cuddle the kitten. “Oh, Nicholas, can we take him with us?”

“No. He’s too little.” Nicholas tickled the kitten, smiling as the small paws batted back at his fingers. “Besides, his mother would miss him.”

“You’re right. We can’t break up a family,” Raven said, her eyes clouding.

Nicholas took the kitten and tucked it back into the straw near his brothers and sisters before lifting Raven to her feet. He zipped up her coat and gently kissed her forehead. “It will all work out, Raven.”

She smiled, that vulnerability she tried so hard to hide from the world visible in every inch of her. “Sure it will.”

Nicholas stared at her for a long moment, deciding he couldn’t tell her about his arrangement with J.R. at the moment. She was dealing with enough. It would have to wait until he got her away from here. He stretched out his hand. “Trust me.”

Placing her hand in his, Raven let him lead her to the barn door. “I do.”

In the library, Jackson flung himself into the chair that Raven had recently vacated. Nicholas had given him some things to think about, things he’d already known at heart, anyway. It didn’t take a shrink to make him admit that part of him was chasing a union with Raven so he could show his father he was his own man. Not that he wasn’t sincere in wanting her, he was. But there were all levels of wanting, he was discovering. He had to want for the right reasons.

He’d brought Raven up here to see if she could fit in with his family, that much was true. What was also true, though, was his typical reaction when his father said—”you can’t marry her”. Groaning, he hit his palm against his forehead.

“What an idiot.”

“I’d have to agree with that,” Lorianne said as she entered the library.

Jackson glanced over, watching as she walked toward him. Sunlight slashed through the windows and fell on her bright hair and animated face before it showered over her petite body. Then it hit him—something about her had changed.

Lorianne stopped in front of him. “What are you looking at?”

He blinked like a man emerging from a pitch-black cave. “At you.”

“Oh.”

“I’m seeing Lorianne.”

She arched her brow. “That’s because I’m standing in front of you.”

He shook his head slowly. “No, that’s not the reason.”

“Okay, I’ll bite. What is?”

He grinned, almost to himself. “I…I’m not sure, but I like it.”

Lorianne cocked her head, considering him before giving him a playful touch. “Did you fall on your head? Or maybe you have a fever? You’re not making any sense.”

He laughed and stood up, taking her hand. “Yes, I am. For the first time in a long while, I am.”

Lorianne stared up at him. “Okay, now I’m worried.”

“There’s nothing to worry about, pint-pot.” It was an old nickname he’d used for her, one that came from fond childhood memories. How amazing it was to consider the name now gave him a thrill as he applied it to Lorianne. Even grownup, she still stood only as high as his heart.

Groaning, Lorianne tried to tug her hand away. “I hate that nickname.”

Jackson grinned again. “Too bad. I love it.”

She yanked her hand from his and walked over to the windows. “It makes me feel inadequate.”

Jackson paused as the final piece of the puzzle snapped into place for him. It wasn’t Raven. It was Lorianne. All this time, it was Lorianne for him. He turned to follow her. “How can someone so important feel inadequate?”

She glanced over at him. “Are you trying to rub it in?”

“No, I’m serious.”

“Because I’m the tagalong. The kid who had to be included. I don’t mind that most of the time, because I know I’m really more than that. And as I’ve grown up, I’ve shown that fact to everyone but you. With you, I’m still that pudgy little girl with braces that your parents made you hang with when you’d rather be doing something else.”

“Is that the way I made you feel? How cruel of me.” He smiled when she rushed to his defense.

“You didn’t mean to. Your father was a catalyst there. Just as mine was.”

Jackson nodded. “Yes, I’ve just realized how much my father has affected.”

“He’s a strong, forceful man.”

“He’s a pain in the ass.”

Lorianne laughed. “Yes, he is. But he loves you and his heart’s in the right place.”

“Perhaps.”

“No, it is. He just wants what’s best for you. While you want…” she trailed off. “The opposite?”

He studied her, then said softly, “Like Raven, you mean?”

Lorianne hunched her shoulders, an uncomfortable look on her face. She turned away to stare out the windows.

“Lorianne?”

“Perhaps Raven could be an example.”

“That’s tactful.”

Lorianne threw him a disgusted look over her shoulder. “What do you want from me? Tactful is part of who I am.”

“Yes, it is.” He tucked her hair behind her ears. “And it’s an invaluable trait. But it’s not the only part, is it?”

She studied him for a moment before admitting, “It’s been pretty hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes.”

“Like now?”

She hesitated, before muttering, “I know how you feel about Raven.”

He shook his head slowly. “No, I don’t think you do. I didn’t really know until recently.”

“After you fell head over heels in love with her, you mean?”

“No. More recently than that. I think it started last night.”

“Oh.”

He rocked back on his heels as he smiled at her. He liked the way her face had crumpled at his remark. It gave him hope. Hope he didn’t know he wanted until now.

“I wonder what it is about forbidden fruit that makes it so attractive.”

Lorianne rolled her eyes. “Duh! Maybe because it’s forbidden?”

“Or maybe it really comes down to who’s doing the forbidding.”

“Are we talking creation philosophy or something closer to home?”