Midnight Movie: A Novel (15 page)

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Authors: Tobe Hooper Alan Goldsher

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Yeah, I totally remember when Erick called about the whole disappearing thing. He was like, “Dude, get over here now.”

I was like, “I’m on my way to the shop, man.” I worked at Friends of Sound over on South Congress Street. My manager didn’t like it when I was late, and I was
always
late, so when I had the chance to be on time, I took it.

He was like, “Call in sick, man. I need you. I’m fucked-up, Theo.”

Me and Erick met in freshman year of high school, and we’ve been tight ever since. We’ve been through a lot of shit together, but he never told me that he needed me, so I knew something was up. I was like, “Okay, bro. Be over in fifteen.” My boss at the store was pissed until I told him it was a family emergency. Because that’s what it was. Laughlin was family, man.

I got to his crib in, like, five minutes. He buzzed me in, and I went up the stairs, and he looked a mess … at least for him. Unless he was wasted or hungover—or both—Erick was one put-together cat, like with his hair always in the right place, and his face always all shaven, et cetera. Not that morning. That morning, he looked … wild. Animalistic. Kind of creepy.

I was like, “What’s wrong, bro?”

He was like, “It’s this sleep thing.”

I was like, “What about it? How’d the camera work out?” He goes, “It’s fucked-up.”

I was like, “Dude, tell me you didn’t fuck up that camera. That shit was expensive.”

He says, “The camera isn’t fucked-up. The whole
thing
is fucked-up. Dig this.”

And then he showed me the video. It was him sitting there reading, then him falling asleep, then him disappearing. Poof. Gone.

I go, “Dude, that was some awesome editing!”

He was like, “I don’t have any video editing programs on my computer. What you see is what happened. I … fucking … disappeared.”

I was like, “Well, you’re back now. Did you look at the end?”

He goes, “Shit, no. I freaked. I didn’t want to watch alone. That’s why you’re here.”

I go, “Hell yeah, that’s why I’m here. Fire that shit up again.”

So he drags the cursor to the end of the recording, and
poof
, he reappears in the exact same position he was in when he disappeared. I was like, “WTF?”

He goes, “Yeah. WTF. Bro, you’re staying with me tonight.”

I was like, “Shit.”

ERICK LAUGHLIN:

Theo was not psyched. I can’t say that I blame him. I know if one of my friends was evaporating and asked me to babysit him, I’d probably be a little, um, let’s say trepidatious.

THEO MORRISON:

I couldn’t say no. He’d have done it for me.

So fast-forward to 9:33 that night. We’re sitting there yammering about John Bonham, and right in the middle of a sentence, the dude falls asleep, right on schedule, and then, right before my fucking eyes, the dude disappears. WTF, right?

I go to the bed and feel around, and yeah, sure e-fucking-nough, that bastard was gone. Gone, gone, gone, clothes and all. I grab his keys from his desk and go for a walk to see if I can track his invisible ass down. I didn’t know where to start. I mean, where the fuck was I supposed to go? His mom’s house? Our rehearsal space? A cemetery? No clue, so I went back to his crib, and lay down on his bed, and waited for 9:33.

Now that I think about it, it’s weird that we never discussed
why
this was happening to him, only how we could fix it. Hunh.

ERICK LAUGHLIN:

I opened my eyes at 9:33—of course—and there was good old Theo, crashed out right next to me. He rolled over, then said, “Yo. Welcome home, dude. Sleep well?”

I said, “Did I disappear?”

He said, “Yeah. You disappeared like a motherfucker. But I have an idea.”

THEO MORRISON:

I didn’t sleep for shit that night. I mean, would you? Your best bud disappears, and you’re supposed to be able to crash? No way, man. So I thought, and thought, and thought—what else was I going to do?—and came up with the best idea
ever
.

ERICK LAUGHLIN:

He said, “We’re going to use the camera.”

I said, “We already used the camera.”

He said, “No, we’re going to put the camera on you.”

I said, “We already put the camera on me.”

He said, “No, we’re going to put the camera
on
you.”

I said, “What’re you talking about?”

He said, “Dig it: Your clothes went with you when you pulled your fade, so maybe if we duct-tape the camera to your chest, it’ll go with you, too. We’ll hit the Record button before you go beddy-bye, and we’re good to go. It’ll pick up
something.

Theo was right about that. It sure as shit picked up something.

THEO MORRISON:

That camera weighed like fifty pounds, and it took an entire roll of duct tape to get that thing secure. It was probably uncomfortable as shit for Eric, but, you know, the dude wasn’t having trouble falling asleep, so that wasn’t an issue.

So he disappears at 9:33 at night
again
, and he comes back at 9:33 in the morning
again
, and when he gets up, I pull out a box cutter and start cutting off all the tape. He’s like, “Dude, slow down. My skin is under this tape.” So I slowed down, and I got the camera off, and I managed to cut him only once.

I’ve got to tell you, man, we were not psyched to watch the video. But we watched it.

ERICK LAUGHLIN:

Based on what we saw, I wasn’t disappearing, exactly. It was more that I became invisible and moved really fast.

At first, the picture was kind of a blur, but we could tell I was going down my stairs and out of my building, and then I made a left, which meant I was heading west. Beyond that, it was impossible to even guess where the fuck I was going.

About half an hour into my invisible run, or sprint, or whatever the hell it was, I came to a sudden stop in front of a mall, and it was light outside. Maybe that was a trick of the camera. Or maybe I went so far west that I caught up with the sunset. No clue.

I clearly still wasn’t visible to the world at large, because nobody looked directly at me, and if you saw some guy in the middle of a mall wandering around with a video camera duct-taped to his chest, you’d stare.

No staring. No nothing.

I was gliding smoothly through the mall—the picture never once became shaky; it was almost like the camera was on a dolly. The angle of the shot was relatively high, and since the camera had been strapped onto my chest, and I’m only five foot ten, it seemed like I was floating.

And then people started falling.

THEO MORRISON:

There were these red things shooting
out
of Erick, or from
behind
Erick, and when one would hit somebody, they’d stumble onto the ground, then they’d get right back up again, like nothing happened. It was totally random who was getting zitzed: some dudes, some chicks, some grown-ups, some kids, some African Americans, some white peeps, and some Asian folks. Wait, now that I think about it, it wasn’t
totally
random: All the people
getting shot were alone. The only zitz-ees were wandering the mall all by their lonesome. Weird. Or weird
er
.

After about an hour at the mall, Invisible Erick took off and glided along for another forty-five minutes. He ended up at a movie theater—no surprise there; Erick’s a film nerd, and that’s the way he rolls … even when he’s invisible, I guess—and then he went shooting that weird red shit at the loners again. That was when things got weird. Or weird
er
.

ERICK LAUGHLIN:

I didn’t know where the hell I was, so I didn’t know what the hell the local time was. It could’ve been ten, it could’ve been midnight, it could’ve been four
A.M
. No way to tell.

So I’m walking up and down the aisle of the movie theater, and that red stuff is still shooting out—still no idea where it was coming from—and unlike what was going on in the mall, the people who are getting shot have these brief seizures, then fall asleep. I don’t know when they woke up, because I went from theater to theater without hanging out for the aftermath.

And then the battery died.

And then, nothing.

SANTA FE REPORTER

EARTHQUAKE BY MOVIE THEATER INJURES 300-PLUS

FIRST EARTHQUAKE IN SANTA FE IN OVER A CENTURY

BY MAUREEN FRANZEN

MAY 5, 2009

An earthquake measuring 6.1 on the Richter scale shook the Miller Keresotes Fifteenplex at 152 Cerritos Road. No casualties were reported, but officials estimate that over 300 were injured.

The earthquake, which is the most serious such incident reported in Santa Fe since 1918, appears to have been extremely centralized.

Dr. Roman Zetterberg of the United States Geological Survey said, “The quake did zero property damage to the general vicinity. Even the restaurants adjacent to the building seemed unaffected. This is odd behavior for an event such as this, but far from unprecedented.”

No aftershocks have been reported, but Zetterberg will not rule them out. “If there are aftershocks, the chances of them being as centralized are minimal.”

Police are asking local residents to take precautions. For more information on how to prepare for an earthquake, please visit http://www.sfreporter.com/QuakePrep.

 

FROM: [email protected]

TO: [email protected]

SUBJECT: the quake

DATE: May 5, 2009

Hey, Gwennie—

You were at the theater last night, weren’t you? You okay?

xox,
Dee

 

FROM: [email protected]

TO: [email protected]

SUBJECT: re: the quake

DATE: May 5, 2009

Hey, Dee—

You won’t believe what happened.

So me and Kerrie and Melissa go to see STAR TREK. Why would I want to see STAR TREK? Well, I didn’t. Kerrie only wanted to go because she thought Neal was going to be there, and Melissa wanted to go because if Neal was there, then Steven would be there, and I only wanted to go because I had nothing better to do.

So we get into the theater, and a half hour in, I knew I was right that it SUCKED. So we were bored, and we started looking around, and Melissa saw Steven and Neal, so we tiptoed over. On the way down the aisle, I tripped and fell on my face, and I think I knocked myself out for a second, but Kerrie and Melissa didn’t even notice, because they were totally running to get to the guys.

So I catch up to them, and they’re already sitting next to the guys, and there weren’t any seats by them, so I took a seat on the end next to this supercute guy who was with his supercute friends. He and his friends looked OLD, like they were thiry or something.

I was wearing a short skirt, and I could have sworn I saw him checking out my legs, so just for the fun of it, I kind of touched my THIGH against his. I’m such a dork sometimes.
But I guess I was wrong about him looking at me, because when my leg touched his, he didn’t even flinch. I don’t think he noticed.

That’s when the earthquake started. At first I thought it was an explosion, because the ground didn’t start shaking right away. It was just a loud BOOM, and then the movie stopped, and then everybody started screaming (I screamed too), and THEN the ground started shaking. I went to meet the girls, but it turned out that the old guy next to me had accidentally sat on my skirt, so I couldn’t stand up. I yelled at him, I’M STUCK, and he said he was sorry, and he stood up, and sort of handed me my skirt back, and his fingers touched my leg, and all of a sudden, the world disappeared, and it was just the two of us. I know you think that sounds weird, but it’s TRUE.

We kissed, and it was CRAZY! I don’t know how long it went on for, but it seemed like forever. My legs started trembling, and I fell down on the floor, and the old guy fell right on top of me, and then he rolled off of me, and we were on our sides, face-to-face. And then I touched him DOWN THERE through his pants. I couldn’t help it. And the second I touched him, he came, and there was so much stuff that it leaked through his pants. It got on my hands, and it was gross and sticky. I had a paper cut on my index finger, and that stung BAD.

Suddenly, everybody’s running around and screaming their heads off, but I look behind me, and there’s another girl with another guy and they’re in the exact same position as I’m in, and the girl’s wiping her hand on the floor like she’d gotten something nasty on it. I was just about to say something to
her when this guy who was running down the aisle tripped over me. He said he was sorry, then he stood up and offered his hand. Without even thinking, I gave him the hand that had the old guy’s stuff all over it, but I don’t think he noticed, because that’s when the walls started falling apart.

I don’t remember much of what happened after that. I think I went into shock or something. I kind of remember dragging Kerrie and Melissa out of the theater, but that may have been my imagination.

Mom’s taking me to the doctor today to make sure I’m okay. I told her I’m fine (WHICH I AM), but you know my mom. Over-protective. I’ll tell you how it goes.

xox,
Gwennie

 

FROM: [email protected]

TO: [email protected]

SUBJECT: re: re: the quake

DATE: May 5, 2009

What is your problem? You gave an old guy a hand job during an earthquake, and you think you’re okay? YOU ARE NOT OKAY! We need to talk about this. Call me when you can. If you need me, I’m here for you. I’m ALWAYS here for you.

xox,
Dee

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