MEMORIAM (25 page)

“Vince!” I was getting light-headed. There was a ringing in my left ear as I gasped for air, clawing at Sev’s arm. He raised the gun to my head and smiled.

“Say goodbye, Violet.”

Out of the corner of my eye a figure came flying, landing on top of Sev. He groaned and let go of my neck. I rolled over, gasping for air. Sev was now standing over Vince. He was livid.

“Vi, run!” Vince yelled.

Sev punched Vince, and I let out a strangled sob while taking off through the fighting crowd. I needed to find a magnus. The ground was moving. Tears slid down my face as I gazed at the hunters. The world seemed to grow quiet and everything slowed down. A young hunter was bent over another, stabbing him. Blood formed in pools. Another cop was above the base; a huge black shape was falling through the sky. It was too late. Suddenly everything was flying backwards. My eardrums shattered. I could not hear anything. People were running in all directions. Trees uprooted themselves as flames erupted and rubble flew through the air like confetti.

I saw a commotion and looked behind me to see Sev heading straight in my direction.

“Vince,” I said. What had Sev done? He had to be okay. Vince couldn’t be dead. He was going to be okay.

Sev’s hands were covered in blood. No....Vince was not dead. He couldn’t be. He had to be okay. I sobbed, my chin wobbling as I searched for Vince. He was nowhere in sight. Sev was closer. I raised my gun and cocked it, my arms shaking so badly I could hardly aim. Sev came up and threw the gun out of my hand, hitting my shoulder. I let out a strangled yell and bent over, sobbing uncontrollably. All I could think about was Vince.

I fell on the ground and stared at the fiery sky as I lay on my back, watching as the clouds parted and a small patch of blue became visible amongst the torrents of violent smoke. I opened my mouth to scream; Sev wrenched his knife into my side. My body curled up like a shriveled bug. I reached for anything to hold onto, something that could subdue the pain.
It’s okay, Violet. I am here.

“Sam?” I reached down and touched my side, gripping my hand around the knife. Tears ran down as I pulled it out, my fist clenched. I tossed the knife aside and wiped the blood on my uniform. I was going to die, I realized, and there was nothing I could do except lay there and let it happen. The Head had won. Everything was fading. My eyesight was failing. Ashes coated my lungs. My head sank into the mushy ground. The taste of rust took over my mouth. Even Sev, who I could see standing over me, was fading. I swallowed and closed my eyes, exhaling my last breath.
I love you, Sam.
The pain I was trying to suppress took over.

***

“Violet, can you hear me? Violet, talk to me.”

I parted my crusty lips. Air filled my lungs.

“Thank god! Violet, look at me.”

My eyelids fluttered. I opened my eyes up and saw Zanna. She had blood on her forehead and her eyebrows were creased. I took one look at my own body, blood-soaked clothes and all, and put my head back down.

“Am I dead?”

“You’ve lost a lot of blood. We need to get you back to the base.”

I shook my head. It was throbbing wildly. “I can’t. I’m supposed to be dead. We all are.”

“Vi,” Zanna said as if she was annoyed, “you’re not.”

“No,” I said loudly. “I was supposed to die. Why aren’t we dead?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The Head wants us dead.”

“Then answer me this – who did this to you?”

I didn’t want to answer. I wanted this throbbing pain in the front part of my skull to go away and for the stick I was lying on to be moved.

“Answer me.”

“Sev. It was Sev.”

Zanna’s jaw dropped. “Are you sure?”

“Where’s Vince? What happened to him?”

Zanna’s face fell. “He’s....he’s gone.”

I closed my eyes. It seemed like only yesterday that I met him. He was the first hunter in our combination to speak to me. The idea of him being completely gone created the feeling of a hole in my chest.

“It was me. He died because of me.”

“We need to go. Any remaining hunters were taken by the military. You’re lucky I found you. I found an empty magnus and hid until they left.”

“Is there even a base left?”

“Violet, you need medical attention. I gave you some medicine but it wasn’t that strong. The pain will kick in soon and trust me, you do not want to feel the pain. I mean, you have a concussion, knife wound, strangled neck, and fragments from the bomb in your leg.”

I closed my eyes. My heart ached. I did not want to move. Instead I wanted to find everyone around me whom I cared for and hide them from the Head, from any more danger.

“How close are we?”

“Only two miles away.” Zanna knelt down and scooped me up, straightening her legs as she stood. “Time to go.”

I tried to keep my eyes averted from the field through the trees; there were too many dead bodies that I did not want to see, all of them Pax. It was depressing to see so many lives lost over one man who was in control.

We reached the outskirts of the forest and went over to a roaring magnus. Zanna struggled as she tried to open the door and lift me up, finally heaving herself up and shutting the door tightly, then helping me over to a small stretcher. I didn’t notice her blistered red skin shooting up her left arm where her sleeve was burned off until she set me down.

“Zanna, your arm- ”

She cut me off. “It’s nothing.”

“That’s a third degree burn. It’s not
nothing.
”

“I said
it’s nothing,
” she argued. “I have freezing gel in my pack. It’s not a big deal.”

“If you say so. Thank you for coming back for me.”

She didn’t make eye contact as she said, “Whatever.” She cleared her throat and sat back on the bench, leaning her head against the wall. I turned my head and stared at the ceiling as the magnus peeled out.

“I misjudged you,” I said.

Zanna smirked. “How?”

“You have a heart.”

“Yeah, well some of us learned how to put it away for work.”

“Is that how you view hunting?”

“I do it because I have to. I’m not a killer.”

“But it still bothers you.”

Zanna scoffed. “I know that because I came back for you, you want to believe that I’m this nice person, but it doesn’t mean anything. People can define me however they want, but I know who I am.”

“Regardless, I think you care more than you let on.”

She pretended to examine the weapons wall behind me, even though I knew she was just trying to avoid our conversation. The sun was setting when we left so I knew it would be dark soon. I tried to calm my nerves. My mind was running frantic worrying about Sam. Had he survived? Where was everyone now? Or were they all dead? And Sev....it sent chills up my spine thinking about him. He had tried to kill me. It was definite that I could not stay in the base anymore.

“Zanna?”

“Yes?”

“What happened to the base?”

“After the first cop was shot down-” A large bomb flashed in my mind and a pain shot through my leg. It was me who shot that cop down. “-they brought in more cops. Half of the base got destroyed before military troops moved in. They are holding everyone hostage.”

“What do you think they’ll do to us?”

She shrugged. “Kill us or move us to another base.” Zanna unbuckled herself and crouched down beside me. “We’re here.”

My side was sending waves of pain through my mid-section. The pain medication that Zanna had given me was wearing off.

“We need to get you to the healing center.”

“I can’t go back there. I’m supposed to be dead.”

“I can’t let you die.”

“Go find Sam. He’s a healer; he will know what to do.”

“I’ll leave you my gun, okay? Just in case.”

The magnus opened and Zanna kicked back the door, picking me up with her pack strung on her back. She hopped down and hit the ground with a thud. I bit my fist as pain shot through my waist. I almost thought she was going to drop me for a second but her grip tightened. She must have been fighting through the pain in her arm as she carried me. She walked across the space between the prison and us, close enough that if I wanted to I could make my way over, but still hidden in the trees where we could remain unseen.

“The prison is just through those trees. I won’t leave you too close in case skryers come out.”

We stopped amongst a small grouping of pines where I could see the white prison through the trees. Beyond the prison was the half-destroyed base. The sun was gone and dusk was settling in.

“Are you okay? Maybe I should leave my whole pack. Hold on.” She dropped her pack by my side. “Let me grab my freezer gel.” She pulled a small tube out.

“Just hurry,” I said.

“In my pack is an emergency blanket. Use it; it gets cold fast.”

“Thanks.” I reached in her pack and dug through until I found the blanket. It was quite large once it was unfolded and it covered all of my body. I rubbed my fingers together and looked around, my eyes darting from tree to tree.

“They won’t find you out here, Violet. I promise.”

“I know.” I was still scared, though. Zanna broke out into a steady jog back to the base. I leaned my head back and pulled the blanket tight over me, letting the warmth sooth my aching body. A dull pain pulsed through my thigh. This pain was only the beginning.

My head had a slight dull feeling to it. There was a faint thud in the back of my head and a pulse in my forehead. I winced and looked around in the darkness. Every bend of a branch or wind in the trees sent shivers up my neck. My head dipped into my chest. I tried to keep my eyes open, but before long my head dipped back down and I was asleep.

In my dream I was talking with Vince again. Hearing his voice was like finding water in a desert.

“Happiness is not a destination. It’s a state of mind.”

“Will Sam try to hurt me? Will he betray me like he’s done countless times in Memoriam?”

“Would it matter? If you love someone, you allow them to hurt you. You open your heart to pain. You have been through a lot; you’ve been hurt in ways people can never imagine, and wounded internally. Some of those wounds will never heal. Many of the scars from being a hunter never fade; they only age. No one forgets the past. Just remember that when you choose your future.”

“I can forget these things if I force myself to.”

Vince touched my cheek and shook his head. He stood up and walked through the trees, over to a boat I saw in the distance that was at the edge of a lake. Shadows danced off the side of the boat. I came closer and saw the Head in the shadows next to it, sitting in front of a fire. Something glinted in the moonlight. I ran through the trees over to the side of the lake and saw an abandoned pod. Inside to the pod at the bed of the floor was a locket; it was engraved.

For my eternal love.

A branch snapped behind me. My eyes flew open to darkness. There was someone in the trees.

“Vince?” For some reason the possibility of Vince being alive in this moment seemed plausible. I held my breath as the figure came closer, then split into two.

“Violet?”

“She’s over here, I think.”

The faces came closer. A light flickered and Sam’s and Zanna’s faces lit up through the dark. Sam ran over and came to my side, throwing his arms around me.

“Sam!” I cried, hugging him.
He pulled back and held my cheeks, smiling at me.

“You’re alive,” he said.

I nodded.

“You’re alive.” He pulled me in again, his lips pressed against my neck.

“I’ll keep watch,” Zanna said.

Sam surveyed my injuries. “You look bad.”

“What happened at the base? What’s going on?”

“The place is surrounded. Military men came in after the bombings. We were attacked-”

“By us,” I finished his sentence.

“I ran to the weaponry and hid there. I tried to look for Mary, but I couldn’t find her anywhere. Most of the Pax are being held in the centicular by Trux guards. Luckily Zanna found me on her way through the tunnel and brought me here without any guards catching us.”

I thought of Mary and then remembered; she was the skryer caught under the rubble that I had tried to save. I shuddered.

“Mary’s dead.”

“What?” Sam frowned. “I-I don’t....how do you know?”

“It was right after I left....on the way to Memoriam. The skryers took her. I don’t why. She died in the fight outside the base – she was a skryer at that point.”

“She’s dead?” His face fell.

“Vince is, too. He was fighting off- ” My words were caught in my throat. I couldn’t bring myself to say it. Vince was dead because of me. I held my breath, tears streaming down my face.

“Sev attacked me. He was trying to kill me but Vince fought him off in time for me to run.”

Sam pulled me in, holding me to his chest. I let out a strangled sob, trying hard get the image of Sev’s bloody hands out of my head.

“It’s not your fault. It was his choice.”

My chin trembled. No it wasn’t. Nothing was a choice in the base. I was in this hollow place where mentally I felt so alone. It was the strangest feeling. I wondered if this was what true sadness felt like. All you saw were closed doors, locking you out. I still felt alone, even though I had Sam. His touch only made me feel more guilt.

“Vi, there’s s-something that Vince didn’t tell you....about me.”

This was it. Sam really had betrayed me. I pictured skryers running out of the base with their guns aimed. The pain in my side grew. I clenched my fist, digging it into the ground to push away the pain. Sam was so solemn.

“You were never alone when you came into this base. We came in together.” He took my hand. “Two months ago we made a plan to escape. It almost worked until we got caught. You were punished- ” Sam’s voice wavered. “ -they took your memories of us and your family.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks.

“The day you woke up in the healing center from a brain injury was a lie. It was all a lie.”