Meltdown of Mad Dog (Satan's Savages MC Novel #4) (17 page)

I’ve been moved to the visitation room after being in solitary for a week. I’m not sure who’s coming to see me. I know the boys from the club have all been brought into the same prison and are in the cell block, which I’m going to be moved into tomorrow, so my time is limited. I’m a rat, I’m just as bad a Stealth and Sentinel were. So I know the moment I step foot into the yard with my brothers my time on this earth is done.

Was it hard to give up all the inside info on my brothers?
Not really. We’re all scum and deserve to pay for our sins. Plus, I can’t stand the idea of Virginia running without Steel or me. So I had to do what I had to do, and bring the club down with me.

Will it cost me my life?
Yes, of that I am sure. I’ve lost my love, my kid, and I have nothing left to live for.

The buzz grates my ears breaking me from my thoughts. I’m not handcuffed to the table like I was in the cell at the police station. I’m just standing in this four concrete walled room, with no windows and no way out, but that one door that’s now slowly opening. Wondering who my visitors are, I look up and my breath catches and my stomach flips when they walk in. I think a slight gasp escapes my lips, but I can’t be sure because there’s a ringing in my ears so loud I can’t hear anything other than that. My chest is aching just from the mere sight of seeing my Millie and Dylan walking in toward me.

Stumbling slightly on the spot, I try to contain my emotion. I never thought I’d see either of them again. Knowing today is my last day alive and how Dylan left last time, I honestly never thought I’d get to say goodbye. So this has me a little stunned.

“Frank,” Millie says so softly I can barely hear it through the pumping of the blood in my ears.

My bottom lip trembles as I slowly walk up to them, and look Millie right in her beautiful blue eyes.

“Millie.” Her name rolls off my tongue as she gazes up at me furrowing her brows. Her hair is longer than I imagined as it frames her face beautifully. She’s still as perfect as ever. She’s still my Millie, even after nine years of not seeing her.

“Geez Frank, y-you really let y-yourself go didn’t y-you?” she stutters out without laughing, she actually sounds like she’s going to cry.

I shrug. “Had no one to keep myself looking good for.” She swallows hard and exhales shaking her head as I turn to Dylan. “You came back?”

“Because we heard you were bein’ taken out of solitary tomorrow. What the hell are you thinkin’, Dad?”

Huffing, I shrug. “What can I do?”

Millie furrows her brows and purses her lips, her nostrils flaring and her fists balling at her sides. “Well, you can fight this for one thing. You can ask to stay in solitary, or ask to be moved to another prison. Do something?”

“I’ve accepted my fate, Millie. You should, too.”

She glares at me as the vein in her clenched neck twitches, and her eyes squint as she steps up closer, pointing her finger into my chest dramatically. “You think you can just give up and let yourself be taken out by the Savages? You’re a strong, tough president, Frank. How dare you stand back and give up so easily. Think about us, think about your family and what you’re throwing away, you selfish son of a bitch!”

“Millie—”

“I knew this fucking club would kill you. This is what I’ve been afraid of, all these years Frank, all these fucking years we’ve been apart because of this very moment. Because I knew this club would destroy you, and you’re just going to fucking roll over and let it?”

Wincing, I grab her wrist and pull her to me as I watch the pain-filled tears fill her eyes. “I never meant to hurt you. I love you. I will always love you. But now you’ll never have to worry about me again. This time tomorrow I’ll be gone, and then you can have my funeral and never think about me again.”

She huffs out a groan, bringing her open palm up and slaps me across my cheek. My head snaps to the side with the force as the sting radiates right through my face. My eyes roll around in my head slightly, as I grab my cheek to try to ease the pain.

“I think about you every fucking day. Only now my thoughts will be of a rotting corpse, not of the man I’m madly in love with, and l-lost so much f-fucking time with.” Her voice cracks as the tears don’t hold and fall down her pink cheeks. The sight breaks my already shattered heart.

Swallowing hard, I can’t help myself as I lean forward grabbing both her shoulders, pulling her to me. Our bodies connect, and I press my lips to hers forcefully. The spark that erupts from kissing her is the same as it was the very first time. It reminds me of our song.
‘Feels Like the First Time’
by Foreigner. She doesn’t pull back like I thought she would. Instead, she pushes into me, wrapping her arms around my neck and deepening the kiss. Her tongue moves with mine, and I kiss her passionately for the first time in nine years. My heart is pounding so fast it might explode. This is what I’ve been needing, this is what my life has been missing. She’s my missing piece. Without her, I’ve been a mess. It’s not her fault she left, it’s all mine. I should have left with her, and I should have never let Dylan prospect in. Everything would be so different now if I didn’t let the club take me over.

Everything’s better with hindsight, right?

Dylan subtly coughs, I’d forgotten he was even here. Poor kid seeing his parents’ pash-on would probably be weird for him after everything. So regretfully, I pull away from my Millie. She looks me in the eyes, her hands still around my neck and she shakes her head.

“It feels like the first time.”

Smiling, I chew on my bottom lip. “It feels like the very first time.”

She lets out a small sob, and I rest my forehead against hers and wipe the tear stream from her cheek. “I never stopped loving you.”

She sniffs and exhales. “I love you, too.”

My chest tightens and I wince at those words. Knowing we’ve wasted so many years apart by being pigheaded is so ridiculous. But our time is up. She
will
be better off without me. They both will be.

“How are you allowed in here without a guard?” I ask.

“We paid a guy called Billy. He seems pretty crooked, so he let us have a private room and extra time.”

I exhale, Billy, I know him well. I’ve been able to bribe him to bring me durries and the occasional beer. He’s a good lad. His dad is the Warden, so he gets away with anything. “Billy’s a good lad, impressionable, but good.”

“Thanks for coming, Dylan. I’m sorry about how we left things last time.”

He exhales and winces. “Me too, Dad. I’m sorry about what I said, I don’t disown you. I’m actually kind of in awe of you, disbandin’ Virginia. That takes guts. I hate the consequences, and I wish you would seek out a transfer, there’s still time.”   

“My time is up, kid. You know how the brotherhood works. This is how it needs to be.”

Millie starts to cry hard and cuddles into me. Wrapping my arms around her tightly, I nuzzle into her hair. “I’m sorry for all the lost time. I wish I’d been a better husband, a better father. I wish I wasn’t so fucking pigheaded and that I’d lived a better life, but you two are better off without me.”

“How can you fucking say that?” Millie pulls back yelling at me, contorting her face in anger as she pushes me in the chest. Taking a step back as she cries hard, I swallow a lump in my throat and look at Dylan, who’s frowning and looks like he’s having trouble holding it together too.

“Steel, watch over your mother. You’re all she has left. Make sure to give her lots of grandbabies with Willow.”

“Don’t you dare!
Don’t you dare start saying your goodbyes!”
Millie yells through her sobs and starts to pace the room running her hands through her long blonde hair.

Dylan moves toward me, taking me into his arms embracing me. My throat chokes up and my eyes start to water, thinking this is the last time I will hug my kid. So I better make it last. I hold him back with a strong strength. I haven’t hugged him like this before, but this is the last time, I don’t care if I squeeze him a little harder than normal. We embrace tightly, and he holds me back with the same pressure I’m holding him. He sniffs and pulls back to look at me. He’s crying, and the sight rips my heart out of my chest, slams it on the floor and rolls over it with a truck. I can’t stand seeing my tough, biker son upset. It does my head in.

“I’m so sorry I was a dick last time I saw you. I hate that you’re givin’ up. I hate that you’re choosin’ to leave us. I need you to know that even through all the fights, all the anger and hurt, the misunderstandin’s and the resentment, through it all, I still fuckin’ love you.”

My eyes mist up, and I pull him back to me for another hug as Millie continues to pace. “I fucking love you too, kid. Always have, always will. I’ll always be with you, just remember that. Every time you see a falling leaf, that’s me.”

“You don’t believe in that shit,” he chokes out and half laughs.

“Just remember that, okay?” I say pulling back and he nods, sniffing and takes a deep breath, wiping his face.

The door opens, and Millie shakes her head. “No, not yet. I’m not ready,” she shrieks.

“Okay, but you don’t have much more time,” Billy says then closes the door behind him.

Millie starts to hyperventilate and rushes over to me basically jumping in my arms. I hold onto her tightly and smother myself with her. I need to memorize every inch of her beautiful body, her smell, her gorgeous face. Sniffing, I run my hands over her hair and try to comfort her as she sobs into my chest.

“Just promise me that you’ll look after each other. And Dylan, don’t get caught up in any bad crap at Aldinga.

“They don’t deal in drugs or guns. So we can’t get tied up in anythin’ bad or criminal. The club is different, Dad. It’s run legit… We’ll be safe, I’ll make sure of it.”

The buzzer sounds and my chest tightens so tight, it feels like it wants to explode. Dylan rushes toward Millie and me and joins in for a group hug as the door opens. Billy doesn’t say anything just stands there letting us have our last goodbye.

I hold onto my family as my tears don’t fail me now. I cry softly into Millie’s hair and kiss her head as she clings to me for dear life, sobbing so hard I wonder if she can actually breathe.

“I’m so sorry, guys, but this is all the time I can give you,” Billy advises, and I nod as Millie cries harder. I hate that she is so upset by this.

Dylan pulls back looking at me and nods. I smile at him then look down to Millie still clinging onto me. I move my hand to her chin and pull her drenched face up to look at me. She’s sobbing so hard it’s messing with my head. I can’t let her go without kissing her once more, so I lean down and press my lips to hers. The feeling of kissing her is the ultimate in euphoria. It’s the best death row present I could have asked for. She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me back passionately, and I don’t hold back this time. I know this is the last kiss I’ll ever have with my Millie, so I have to make it count. Her tongue collides with mine, and the passion we shared all those years ago is still very much alive.

She is my true north.

My home.

My life.

My love.

My everything.

“Frank, times up,” Billy says breaking the best moment I have for the last nine years.

Pulling back from Millie, I look in her eyes and smile. “You’re the love of my life. I’ve never stopped loving you, not for a second.”

“It’s only ever been you, Frank,” she whispers back and leans up gently pecking my lips again, sending a shock wave right down my spine and straight to my cock.

“Mum, we gotta go.” Dylan comes up to her grabbing her arm to pull her away.

She shakes her head and starts to cry again. “No, I’m not ready. I can’t say goodbye yet.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. McNamara, I really can’t give you any more time,” Billy admits.

“Then lock me up in here with him.”

“Mum!”

“Millie!”

“There’s no reason to lock you up, Mrs. McNamara. I’m sorry, but you have to leave.”

She sobs clinging to me. “I-I can’t let you go, Frank. I-I can’t lose you.”

A stab permeates my chest as I look to Dylan and tilt my head. He’s going to have to help her through this.