McIver's Mission (29 page)

"This isn't what I wanted. I told you that right
from the beginning."

"Well, this is what you got."

"I'm going to look at an apartment this
afternoon."

"Do you think I'm just going to let you move out?
Walk away as if none of this matters?"

"It's not your decision to make," she said
coolly.

"Like hell it isn't." He practically snarled
the words at her, but he didn't care. He wasn't in a mood to handle this
diplomatically.

"Save the macho routine for someone who might
appreciate it."

"You're not going to brush me off that
easily."

"I'm not going to fight with you about
this," Arden said. "I'm just telling you the way it is."

"And I'm telling you that this isn't
finished."

"It is for me."

That hurt, so much more than he was willing to admit.

"Well then, we'll just say I'm not done with
you."

"Back off, McIver."

"I don't think so." Anger and frustration
propelled him toward her. She backed away, her eyes reflecting wariness … and
desire. Yeah, she might say it was over. She might want it to
be
over.
But it wasn't over between them. Not by a long shot.

She continued to match every step of his advance with
one in retreat, until her back was against the wall. Then she lifted her chin,
her eyes flashing. Before she could speak, before she could say anything else
that he knew would only piss him off even more, he cupped the back of her head
with his hand and captured her mouth with his.

He wasn't a man who acted on impulse. He was a thinker,
a planner. But dammit if Arden didn't go straight to his blood. She struggled
against the kiss. He'd expected no less. But he was relentless, demanding, and
suddenly she wasn't fighting any longer. She was kissing him back.

Bodies crushed together, breaths mingled, tongues
tangled. He wasn't proud of his own behavior, but he was satisfied with the
results.

It was finished for her? Like hell, it was.

She pulled away from him, her breath coming in harsh
and ragged gasps. "I don't appreciate being manhandled."

"You still want me as much as I want you."

"One kiss doesn't prove anything." But her
icy reserve had melted, and she looked shaken, scared.

"Don't go, Arden. Please." He hated that he
was begging, but he'd get down on his hands and knees if it would make her
change her mind. He still didn't understand what had precipitated this sudden
decision, but he knew he couldn't accept it. If she walked out of his life,
she'd take his heart with her.

"I have to."

Was it his imagination, or did she actually sound
regretful?

"Why?"

She shook her head. "It's over. It has to
be."

Then she walked out, and he just stood there staring
at the door she closed behind her.

* * *

Arden
made it to the end of the block before she had to pull her car over to the side
of the road. She was trembling inside and blinded by the tears that burned
behind her eyes. Her fingers gripped the steering wheel. She took a deep
breath, tried to convince herself that it had gone well. At least she'd managed
to make it out of the house before she'd fallen to pieces.

But she'd hurt him. She'd broken his heart, and she'd
done it deliberately and with premeditation. It didn't matter that she'd done
what she needed to do, that she'd done it to protect him. The only thing that
mattered was that she'd trampled all over his emotions.

It was no consolation that she felt equally raw and
battered inside. She brushed the tears from her cheeks and pulled away from the
curb.

After she'd handed the letter over to Lieutenant
Creighton, she did go to the office. She had nowhere else to go. But she was
restless, uneasy. She couldn't sit at her desk without remembering that someone
had set a bomb in the middle of it. She couldn't stop the message in the latest
letter from swimming in front of her eyes.

"THE TIME IS NEAR."

It wasn't the most blatant of the threats she'd
received, but in light of what had already happened, she knew it was true. He
would come for her. Soon. And the only way she could be sure of protecting
Shaun would be to stay away from him.

She stayed at a hotel that night. She had nothing but
the clothes on her back, but she didn't risk returning to Shaun's house to get
any of her things. Not when she knew he'd be there. Her resolve wasn't that strong.

She didn't get much sleep. She tossed and turned on
the lumpy mattress, missing the sound of Shaun's breathing close by, the warmth
of his body next to her. It bothered her that she'd so quickly become
accustomed to sharing his home, his bed. It bothered her more to know that her
stalker was still out there and that he knew she'd been staying in Shaun's
home. She couldn't bear it if something happened to him. She wouldn't let
anything happen to him.

Did her determination to protect him mean that she
loved him?

She didn't know. She didn't understand love; she
didn't trust her emotions. She'd thought they could keep their relationship
simple. Sex was, after all, a basic human drive. But somehow, over the past few
weeks, the desires of her body had seemed to mesh with the needs of her heart.
She still wanted him. She craved the fulfillment she'd only ever found in his
arms. But it went so much deeper than the satisfaction of physical wants. When
they came together, when their bodies joined as one, she felt a connection to
him—a sense of completion she'd never before known.

Still, she didn't
want
to be in love with him.
She couldn't afford to be irrational or irresponsible. She was the only person
she had to rely on now.

* * *

Shaun
tossed and turned in his empty bed. He should be used to sleeping alone, he'd
done so for the better part of the past four years. But for the past four
weeks, he'd gone to sleep every night with Arden tucked beside him. He'd woken
with her in the morning. And he'd started to believe that it would be like that
forever. Obviously, she had other ideas.

He didn't understand what had happened, although he'd
come to know Arden well enough to know that she wasn't being completely honest
with him. He'd called Logan as soon as Arden left. He knew Arden wouldn't
appreciate it if she knew he'd sent his investigator to tail her, but until the
police caught the guy who was threatening her, he didn't want her to be alone.

Logan had checked in a couple of hours earlier from
the parking lot of the Coach House Hotel. He was camped out in his car and
promised that Arden wouldn't move from her room without him being aware of it.
Shaun forced himself to be satisfied with that, although what he really wanted
was to go down to the hotel himself and haul Arden back home.

He rolled onto his stomach, punched his pillow into
shape. Damn, the sheets even smelled like her. The subtle enticing scent that
was as much a part of her as those big brown eyes. He threw his pillow against
the wall.

His mood wasn't any better when he got up in the
morning. Nor the morning after that. But at least it was Monday then, and he
had an excuse to get out of the house that seemed so empty without Arden.

He went through the motions of his day, the situation
with Arden in the forefront of his mind. Even his secretary noticed his
preoccupation, and he practically bit her head off for daring to comment on it.

By the time he left the office that night, his mood
was even worse. He still hadn't decided how he was going to deal with the
situation, but he did know that he wasn't going to accept that their
relationship was over. Somehow, he would figure out what was going on, what had
her so panicked, and they'd deal with it. Together. He wasn't prepared to
consider any other option.

Shaun pulled into his driveway, not at all surprised
to find that Arden's car wasn't there. No doubt she'd already been here to pick
up some of her things. He was surprised, however, when another vehicle pulled
in behind him.

He recognized Lieutenant Creighton immediately.

"I'm looking for Arden Doherty," Creighton
said. "Is she still staying here?"

Shaun nodded. Just because she hadn't slept there the
past two nights didn't mean she wasn't still living there. Not if he had
anything to say about it. "She had a late conference today. I'm not sure
when she'll be back."

He didn't have the slightest idea where Arden was, but
he guessed the lieutenant would have tried her office before coming here. And
he figured it would work to his advantage if Creighton thought he was fully
apprised of the situation.

"I'll catch up with her some other time,
then."

"Can I tell her why you stopped by?" Shaun
prompted. "Do you have any new information for her?"

"Not really," Creighton admitted. "I
just wanted to let her know that we've already started canvassing the
neighborhood to see if anyone might have seen an unfamiliar face or vehicle
around here Saturday morning."

Here
. That
meant that Arden had received another letter delivered to
his
house, and
she'd never bothered to tell him about it. "We appreciate your quick
response on this," Shaun said.

Creighton nodded and started toward his car. He
hesitated, then turned back to Shaun. "Maybe you could tell me where you
were Saturday morning, Mr. McIver."

"What time?"

"Sometime before 8:30 a.m., when Ms. Doherty
found the letter tucked inside the newspaper."

He tried to think, but he couldn't seem to get his
mind around the fact that Arden had received another letter. At his house. And
that she hadn't told him about it. "Do you really think I could be sending
her these letters?"

Creighton shrugged. "I'm just exploring all
possibilities. And since you live here, it would be easy enough to plant a
letter in your own newspaper."

"I didn't," Shaun said.

"Then you won't mind telling me where you
were."

"I was with Ms. Doherty, all night. I'm sure she
can verify my whereabouts."

"I'm sure you understand that the question had to
be asked. I appreciate your cooperation."

"The only reason you're getting it is that I'm as
anxious as you are to find whoever is sending these letters to Arden. I want
her to feel safe."

Creighton nodded again. "I'll be in touch."

* * *

Arden
had to go back to Shaun's house. She'd stopped by earlier in the day, when she
was sure he'd be at the office, to pick up a few things she needed. But she'd
forgotten a file of case law she'd put together, and she needed it for an
upcoming mediation. She'd tried to think of a way around it, but there was
none. She needed the file.

By the time she pulled into his driveway, her stomach
was tied in knots so tight Houdini wouldn't have managed to undo them. She
wasn't up to going another round with Shaun about their relationship. She'd
never wanted to hurt him, and she knew that she had. She also knew that she'd
do it again if she had to. She'd do whatever was necessary to protect him.

He was in the living room, his feet propped up on the
coffee table, watching the news on television. She expected him to ask why she
was there. He didn't.

"You just missed Lieutenant Creighton," he
said instead.

Arden stiffened. "Did he need to see me?"

"He said he'd catch up with you at your office
tomorrow. Something about the letter you got Saturday."

Arden just nodded.

"You didn't tell me you got another letter."

"It didn't say anything new."

"No, but it's the first one that was delivered
here, wasn't it?"

She hesitated briefly. "Yes."

"Is that why you decided to move out?"

"I decided to move out because I've imposed on
you long enough. I needed to find a place of my own again."

"I didn't think you minded staying here."

"It was fun for a while," she said
flippantly. "But like I said, it's time to move on."

"You got that letter, and you were scared that he
might come after you here."

"I wouldn't want to be responsible for your house
burning down."

"Is that all it was?"

"Isn't that enough?"

"I want you to be honest with me, Arden. I want
to know why you suddenly decided, the same day you got a letter from your wacko
pen pal, that you needed to move out, that our relationship was over."

"I told you I wasn't good with relationships. It
was only a matter of time before things fell apart."

"But things didn't fall apart."

"Obviously we have different opinions."

"Do we?"

"Look, I have a lot of work to do tonight, so if
you don't mind—"