McCarthys of Gansett Island Boxed Set Books 1-3 (52 page)

Her eyes filled with tears. “Never?”

He shook his head. “I couldn’t possibly live without you. Or Thomas.”

Maddie wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him. “I could never live without you, either. Not for one day.”

 
“Let’s go to bed.”

Janey drove David to his mother’s house on the island’s west side. He held her hand the entire way. Their intense conversation coupled with the alcohol he’d consumed earlier had made him more emotional than usual, which made this whole thing even harder on her.

She pulled into Kay’s driveway and went around to open David’s door. “Come on,” she said, holding out a hand.

David took her hand, and they walked up the sidewalk.

Kay met them at the door, a big smile on her face as she stepped out to hug them both. “Oh! You worked it out! I knew you would.”

David turned to Janey and hugged her. “Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem. You’ll let me know how you are?”

“Sure.” He caressed her face and brushed a light kiss over her lips. “Take care of yourself, Janey. You know where I am if you change your mind.”

“Wait a minute,” Kay said. “What’s going on?”

“Come on inside, Mom, and I’ll tell you.”

“Wait, stop,” Kay said. “Are you back together or not?”

“We’re not,” David said. “We’ve agreed our relationship is over.”

“And she knows?” Kay turned to Janey. “You know he has cancer? That doesn’t change anything?”

“Mom—”

“I’m sorry, Kay,” Janey said. “This has to be a terrible time for you, and I’d give anything to spare you all that’s ahead.”

“But you won’t be around? That’s what you’re saying, right?”

“I won’t be around.”

“You’re not the person I thought you were, Janey.”

“That’s not fair, Mom. I’m the one who screwed it all up, not her.”

With that, David earned back some of Janey’s respect.
 

“Go inside, David,” Kay said. “I’d like a word alone with Janey.”

“Not if you’re going to berate her for a decision we made together.”

“I’d just like to talk to her. Will you please give us a minute?”

David glanced at Janey.

She nodded.

“I’ll be in touch,” he said.

“Okay.”

After he’d gone inside, Kay turned to Janey. “I’m disappointed in you.”

“Yes, ma’am, I can see that.”

“Do you have any idea what he’s facing in the next few months? After all the years you spent with him, how can you not have the compassion to give him a second chance when he has apologized to you?”

“It wasn’t like he forgot my birthday. He
had sex
with another woman, and I
saw
it. How am I supposed to forgive that?”

“He’s sick, Janey. He’s not behaving like himself. It’s not like him to drink and get into fights or have sex with strange women. You know that.”

“I know what I saw, and I know I’ll never forget it. There’s no going back to before that. We’ve realized our relationship was probably over a long time ago, but we chose not to see the signs. If things were good between us, he would’ve told me about his diagnosis weeks ago, and he certainly wouldn’t have sought out other women.”

Kay folded her arms and blinked back tears. “None of that should matter. He’s sick. How can you walk away from him now?”

Janey took a deep breath. “Because I know he has you and the rest of your family and his friends, and you’ll take very good care of him.”

“Do you have someone else? Is that what this is about?”

“I was faithful to David every day that we were together.”

“And since then?”

“I’ve moved on with my life. He gave me no choice. I’m sorry if this hurts you, Kay.”

“What about the wedding? All your plans?”

“There’s not going to be a wedding, and I’m making different plans now.”

“Maybe you just need some more time, to think—”

Janey rested a hand on the older woman’s arm. “I’m not going to change my mind.”

Kay’s lips tightened with displeasure before she turned, walked into the house, closed the door and shut off the porch light.
 

“Well,” Janey whispered. “I guess that’s that.”

Rattled by the disagreement with a woman she’d always loved and respected, Janey sat in her car for a long time before she drove home to where she was greeted by her pets. After she fed them and took them into the yard for a few minutes, they came back inside and settled on the floor to snuggle. Surrounded by their unconditional love, Janey finally broke down, overwhelmed by the day’s events.
 

David has cancer
. God. It was just so hard to believe, and it certainly explained a lot about his recent behavior. Even before she’d caught him in the act, he’d been putting out odd vibes that she hadn’t bothered to question. If she’d been more connected to him, maybe she would’ve noticed something was wrong.

Riley dragged himself over to nudge at the tears on her cheeks.

He whimpered, and Janey hooked an arm around him. “I’m okay, boy. Or at least I will be.”

Muttley crawled into her lap, bumping Sam onto the floor.
 

Despite the tears, Janey laughed softly as she scratched Sam’s ears. “You guys are so funny. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

As she hugged Riley and stroked Muttley’s belly, she let her thoughts wander to Joe and the stricken expression on his face when he walked in on her argument with David. “I need to talk to Joe,” she said.

She kissed Riley, got up from the floor and grabbed her purse. “I’ll be back, guys. Don’t wait up.”

Chapter 18

Joe stared up at the ceiling in his room at the Beachcomber. After the confrontation with Mac, he’d been tempted to spend another night bellied up to the bar. But since that hadn’t helped anything the last time, he’d come to his room, where he’d stared at the ceiling for the last few hours, torturing himself with thoughts of what Janey might be doing.
 

Had David convinced her to give him another chance? Was their engagement back on? Would Mac ever forgive him for sleeping with his sister at her lowest moment? Was he still the best man in Mac’s wedding, or would he ask one of his brothers to fill the role? What if Janey had meant what she said to David? What if she viewed all they had shared as cheap and meaningless, while he saw it as the answer to his every prayer?

Sadly, the ceiling had none of the answers he so desperately needed.

A knock on the door drew his attention off the ceiling. He got up to answer it.
 

Janey.
 

As he stared at her beautiful face, he had no idea what to say to her.
 

“May I come in?”

“Oh, um, sure.” He stepped aside to let her go past him in a cloud of jasmine that awakened his every sense. Steeling himself for what he might hear, Joe closed the door and then turned to lean against it. He noticed right away that she was tightly wound, as if she too was nervous about what might transpire between them in the small hotel room.

“I’m sorry for what you heard me say. You have to know I don’t feel that way about. . . us.”

“I was hoping you didn’t.”

“He just. . . He pushed my buttons, and it was out of my mouth before I even took a second to think about what I was saying.” She came over to stand in front of him, looking up at him with those eyes that ruined him every time she trained them on him. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

He shrugged off her apology, as if she hadn’t cut him to the quick with thoughtlessly spoken words.
 

“Are you back with him?”

“He has cancer.”
 

They both spoke at once and then took a moment to absorb what the other had said.

Her words hit Joe like a blow to the gut. “So you’re back with him?”

“No. I told him I can’t go back after all that’s happened. He’s been sick for a month and never told me. It’s further proof that we were over a long time ago but chose not to see it.”

Joe held on tight to the doorknob behind him, as if it was an anchor keeping him from breaking into a million tiny pieces. “He must’ve tried to convince you to come back, in light of his. . . illness.”

“He did, and so did his mother. I told them both the old Janey might’ve felt obligated to stand by him through his treatment, but the new Janey is thinking about her own life and what’s best for her—for once.”

“That’s good. That’s what you should be doing.”

“It feels good. It’s not that I don’t have empathy for what he’s about to endure or that I don’t care about him, because I do. I just can’t put my life on hold for him or anyone else anymore. I’ve done that long enough.”

“It couldn’t have been easy to walk away from him when he needs you.”

“Seeing him in bed with another woman has made a lot of things easier than they would’ve been otherwise.”

“I suppose so.” Standing between them was the question Joe couldn’t bring himself to ask, no matter how badly he needed to know.
Where does this leave us?

“So, you talked to Mac?”

“Uh-huh.”

“What did you tell him?”

“Since the cat was more or less out of the bag, I went with the truth.”

“How did he take it?”

“About how you’d expect.”

Janey chewed on her thumbnail, something he’d noticed she did when she was nervous or unsettled. “It’s really none of his business.”

“Which I told him. Didn’t seem to matter, though. He’s got a real blind spot where you’re concerned, but of course you know that or you would’ve told him yourself.”

“I can’t talk to him about this stuff. He still sees me as a thirteen-year-old in braces.”

“He probably always will. He loves you, Janey. You can’t fault him for that.”

“No, but I
can
fault him for being an unreasonable buttinsky.”

Joe smiled. “He is that.”

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow. I’ll make sure he knows how it all went down.”

“You might want to choose different words.”

Her cheeks flamed with the blush he loved so much. “That’s very dirty, Joe. I’m surprised at you.”

Smiling at her, he held out his arms. “No, you’re not.” When she stepped into his embrace, Joe was finally able to breathe again after torturous hours filled with uncertainty. He held her tight against him, brushing his lips over her fragrant hair. “Rough day, huh?”

“Yeah. Until now.”

Joe breathed her in, steeped in the peace that came over him whenever he held her this way. “You’re tired.”

“Exhausted.”

“Want me to walk you home?”

She drew back to look up at him. “Do you know what I’d really like?”

“What’s that?”

“To sleep curled up next to you. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us, Joe. All I know is I feel better when I’m with you than I do when I’m not.”

His throat tightened with emotion at her softly spoken words. “That’s a good place to start.”

“So it’s okay if I stay?”

He took her hand and led her to his bed. Sitting on the edge, he arranged her so she stood between his legs as he undressed her and helped her into one of his T-shirts. When she was settled into bed, he stripped down to boxers and joined her. Sure enough, she curled up to him, her face pressed to his chest, her hand resting on his belly and her leg between his. He tried to tell himself that tonight was all about peace and comfort, but as usual when she was around, certain parts of his anatomy had other ideas.

“This is what I needed,” she whispered.

He tightened his hold on her. “Me, too.”

“Were you upset earlier?”

“A little bit.”

“Just a little?”

“Okay, a lot.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said, sprinkling kisses on his chest that intensified the problem brewing in his lap. “I would never intentionally hurt you.”

His fingers tunneled into her thick hair. “I know that.”

She kissed her way to his neck and jaw.
 

“I thought you wanted to sleep.”

“I do. Eventually.”

“Janey—”

She cut him off by pressing her lips to his in a chaste kiss. Somehow she ended up stretched out on top of him with his erection pulsing between them. “I keep telling myself that I need to leave you alone until I figure things out, but I can’t seem to stay away.”

“You don’t hear me complaining.”

She gazed down at him, and his heart ached with longing. He wanted her to be his. He wanted all their issues worked out and the future clear before them.

“I know the roller coaster ride is tough on you,” she said.

“It was tougher watching you with someone who didn’t deserve you.” He cupped her cheek and guided her back to him for more of those sweet kisses. “That was unbearable.”