Many Shades of Gray (36 page)

Janice sighed. “Why does everything that happens boil down to Tommy? I’m not married to Tommy. I’m married to you.”

“But you wouldn’t be married to me if Tommy hadn’t run away like a little punk.”Janice recoiled as though slapped. “I can’t believe you’re deliberately trying to hurt me. Why are you throwing in my face what I told you?” She moved from him.

“You’re not leaving me.” Simon knew the words he should be saying were ‘I’m sorry.’ If she would just give him a little more time.

“This isn’t the way to settle an argument,” Simon growled, running his fingers roughly through his hair. “You need to stay here and work this out. I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. You’re not leaving this house. “

“I have to get away from you, Simon. If I don’t I might forget that I love you.” She turned and looked at him. “I might actually start hating you.”

Simon stood there looking after her as she went upstairs. What the hell could he do? He couldn’t very well restrain her. His gaze locked on the vases of flowers on various tables. He picked them up, one by one, raising them high above his head and smashing them with all of his might to the floor.

“Leave it,” he yelled as several members of his staff rushed out, saw the mess and attempted to pick up.

Within minutes Janice was coming back down the stairs, a bag in her hand. She was going through with it. She was leaving him. He wanted to plead with her not to leave. If he had thought it would do any good he would have fallen on his knees to appeal to her, but he knew it wouldn’t make a dent. His begging her had never worked. So he glared at her and she smiled at him as if she pitied him.

“Is this really what you want to do, Simon? You’re going to act like a child now? You’re throwing a temper tantrum, breaking all your toys. Go ahead, you’re rich, you can always buy more.” She proceeded farther down, stopped, and looked at him. “And, Simon, don’t think jewelry or your money will fix things this time.” She had the latest bracelet in her purse and she was taking it back. She didn’t want it.

Simon was furious even though he didn’t have a right to be. He was losing his wife and he was left with nothing to do but grasp at straws. “You’re taking his word over mine.”

“I don’t need to ask him. Look at you, and look what you’ve done. I defended you; I didn’t want it to be true.”

“I don’t believe you. You’ve had me on probation waiting for me to screw up so you could run back to him. I warned you what would happen if you did. I wasn’t kidding.”

Now Janice was angry. “Simon, would you get this through your thick skull? I’m not leaving you for Tommy. I’m leaving because right now I can’t stand the sight of you. Get over this obsession you have with Tommy.”

“When you get over your obsession with him maybe I will.”

For a moment Janice stood, mouth agape, staring at her husband. He really did believe what he was saying and so far nothing she’d done had proven otherwise. She glanced at the bag she’d now lowered to the floor and knew the fact that she was leaving wasn’t helping. But she had to get away for a couple of days before they both said things they would be unable to take back, before the point of no return.

“You’re not fooling me. I know,” Simon said pointedly.

“What do you know?” Janice turned from the door, truly puzzled.

“I know you kissed Tommy. The day that you were crying, I know you kissed him.”

She could only stare before wondering if he had spies on her at all times. Maybe Neal had told him, but she didn’t think so.

The look on his wife’s face told him what he needed to know. It was true. She had kissed the man.

“Who told you, Simon?”

“He told me, your lover, the man you’re leaving me for. He told me. He wanted me to know.”

“Did you ask yourself why he wanted you to know, Simon?” She walked across the threshold and out the door. Her husband hadn’t bothered to ask Tommy why he was hell-bent on destroying their relationship, but she would. This was all about a hell of a lot more than the bookstores or even Tommy trying to prove Simon’s family was involved in slave trade. She knew that now. It was as she’d thought from the first day she’d worked with Tommy: His agenda was not as altruistic as he wanted everyone to believe. It was personal.

* * *

The scented bubbles were just as fragrant as those at home, the bed almost as comfortable, but seven months after being married Janice had never expected to be in a hotel room alone because she’d left her husband. She tried to ignore the tears streaming down her face.

Fighting used to be their thing. She didn’t want it to be anymore. Besides all of the angry words, she’d seen the fear and the pain on Simon’s face. Still, she hadn’t deserved the words he’d said to her. She had done lots of things to him before they were married, but in the seven months she’d been Mrs. Kohl, she had done nothing except love him.

She wondered about his insecurity and wished she’d told him about the kiss but it was too late. Tommy had beat her to it. She had to talk to Tommy, figure out why he was trying to use her to hurt her husband. Or was he trying to use Simon to hurt her? She was sure of only one thing: Tommy was behind their trouble. Janice intended to get some answers but not tonight. Tonight she was too angry at Simon to think clearly. Tonight she might do things she didn’t want to out of spite, and then her marriage would truly be over.

Simon sat on the stairs all night, wondering what the hell had happened to him. He looked at the broken glass littering the stairs and vestibule and he cringed. He’d behaved like a madman. He’d said things to his wife that he shouldn’t have. He’d seen the hurt in her eyes and still he’d been unable to stop himself. She was leaving him and he’d driven her to it. He should have never dug into his wife’s past; he should have listened to Harold.

He rubbed his hands over his stubbled cheek. What am I going to do, he wondered. How am I going to make this right? He’d had everything he’d wanted his entire life and he’d destroyed it with his jealousy and suspicions. Simon thought of what Harold had told him, how his father had destroyed his marriage. But he and his father were different. His father had not had another man competing with him for the love of his wife.

* * *

Janice finished off every bite of breakfast she’d ordered from room service, surprised that she’d been able to eat. She’d assumed that the thought of food would make her ill.

Remembering her husband’s words still did. She was going to do as she’d said and stay away for a couple of days, give him some time to get rid of some of the craziness. And she was going to see Tommy.

* * *

At ten-thirty Janice was dressed and ready to do two things: see Tommy and return the sapphire and diamond bracelet. She slipped the jeweler’s box into her bag, deciding to tackle the hardest problem first. Tommy.

She prayed the entire way down on the elevator and continued praying as the doorman hailed her a cap. The talk was long overdue. She should have gotten everything out in the open with him months ago, definitely before she married Simon.

“Why did you tell him?” she said to Tommy the moment she went into the store.

“I thought he had a right to know.”

“When did you tell him?”

“The day he came in here wanting us to have a private talk.” He rubbed his jaw where Simon had hit him. “So I told him.”

“You didn’t tell him because you thought he should know. You told him to hurt him. You’re using me to hurt my husband. Why?”

Tommy clamped his hand around Mary Jo’s wrist and pulled her toward the private room. “Don’t come in here,” he growled at Neal.

Janice looked over her shoulder. She’d not known that Neal was there. She hadn’t seen him and she wondered now if he’d heard them.

“Don’t worry about him,” Tommy snarled.

She followed along behind him, not having much choice since he was still gripping her wrist. Once inside he let her go, then locked the door.

“You want to talk, let’s talk,” Tommy said angrily.

“I want to know what the hell is going on with you, Tommy.”

“Don’t pretend to be so innocent. You know good and well what this is about.”

“Tommy, I don’t. Clue me in, please because this is getting crazy.”

“It’s about us, Mary Jo. Fate brought you back into my life. We were almost where we should be, it was right. And you ignored your feelings for me and married Simon instead. How did you think I would react to all of this?”

“It can’t be about me, you could have found me long before now. You’re acting as though we’re a couple and I cheated on you or something.”

“What about when we were together?”

“I didn’t. I never did.”

“How do I know that? Maybe it’s true that the baby you aborted wasn’t mine. That would make you a cheat.” He looked at her in disgust, his glare centering on her swollen belly.

“My baby?” Janice asked softly. Her hands covering her abdomen, she moved backwards. “Why are you hating my baby?”

“Why didn’t you abort this one?”

Janice closed her eyes and felt the sting of tears. “Is that what this is about? Is this the reason for your going after my husband?”

“It wasn’t in the beginning. Now it just adds to the reasons that I hate him. Simon Kohl has given me enough reasons for hating him. From the moment he dug into my past I knew something was going on. People talk even when they’re paid not to. They talked and every single person that his spies questioned about me told me the questions that were being asked, about you, about us, about our relationship, wanting to know who’d ended it.”

“I don’t like that Simon paid people to dig into our past any more than you do, but, Tommy, that isn’t enough to explain everything that’s happened this year. I’m sorry for Simon bringing you into this.”

“He didn’t bring me into this, you did.”

“What do you mean, I did?”

“I saw you with him. There was no love there. You didn’t even want the guy to kiss you. Then I felt the heat between us and I knew you still loved me.”

Janice closed her eyes, then opened them. “I guess I did give you that impression. When I saw you I remembered how much I had loved you and how you had been the center of my life. For a moment I wished that I could go back and see if we could make it work but I was engaged to Simon.”

“But you didn’t love him.”

“I did love him. I still love him.”

“You’re a liar, you didn’t love the man.”

“Tommy, I did. I didn’t want to, that was the difference. I didn’t want to trust him. You had hurt me so badly that I swore I would never love anyone again, that I would never give another person that power to hurt me. But I loved him, Tommy.”

“I guess you loved him more than you loved me.”

Janice looked down at her abdomen that she was still protecting. “Because of our baby?” she asked.

“You got rid of mine.”

“You can’t blame Simon for that. Simon and I are married.”

“If you had waited for me to come back we would be married now. We would have had our baby, but you didn’t give us a chance.”

“We went through that. You left me all alone. I didn’t do it to spite you, Tommy. I was scared. If you hadn’t abandoned me, left me all alone, not even calling me…If you had told me you loved me, that things would work out…I wouldn’t have felt so alone. If you had been there for me, Tommy, I would never have even thought about not having the baby. But I was all alone, too afraid to tell my parents. I didn’t know what else to do. I would have wanted that baby as much as I want this one.”

“But we’ll never know, will we? You took that from me.”

“Tommy, stop it. You’re talking crazy. All of this is ancient history. If you have something else against me let’s settle it so that you can stop trying to destroy my husband.”

Tommy sneered. “That’s the reason you’re really here, isn’t it? Not to make things right with me but to make sure your husband’s reputation isn’t damaged. My God, you really have changed. You know he’s the one trying to buy up the bookstores and you’re still defending him.”

“Whatever Simon has done, you pushed him to it.”

“Is this for real?” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “Are you really so money hungry that no matter what he did you’ll forgive it?”

“Simon doesn’t need my forgiveness on that.” She paused. She’d almost told Tommy that Simon had admitted it to her. She knew in Tommy’s hands it would hurt her husband and as angry as she was with Simon she wasn’t giving Tommy any more ammunition to use against him.

“Even if I had left, why didn’t you keep my baby?”

“Now we’re back to that. This is old news, Tommy. Do you really think I wanted to do what I did? I didn’t know what else to do. How many times do I have to say it? My God! I’m sick of repeating myself. I was alone. And I was scared.”

“Now you’re not scared?”

“Now I’m not alone,” she answered, glaring at him, seeing the look in Tommy’s eyes and backing up. He really was losing it and her trying to reason with him was fruitless.

“What do you think is going to happen to you now? Your name is mud with the African American community. You’re a traitor, Mary Jo, a sellout. Your husband has made you that and still you stay with him, come here to me to defend him. You saw how everyone felt last night when you tried to defend him. What did you do, go home and listen to the garbage your husband told you about him not having anything to do with the bookstores?”