Many Shades of Gray (29 page)

“I can’t stop.” He changed lanes and concentrated on his driving. Tommy had hoped that the trip to New Jersey would be a catalyst for change.

It seemed he was wrong.

“So you’re finally getting what you want,” Harold said. “I’m happy for you.”

“You don’t look very happy.” Simon laughed. “You look downright worried.”

“I guess I am, a little.”

“Are you worried that Janice doesn’t love me?”

“No, I’m not worried about that. In fact in the past weeks I’d say she acts like a different woman.”

Simon pursed his lips, frowning in concentration. “Tell me, Harold, why does that sound like a bad thing coming from you?”

“It’s just, well, I’ve known her for some time now and I’ve never known her to behave so carefree, so happy. The way she looks at you now, there is such trust in her eyes, so much love. And I know that it wouldn’t be there if she knew, and that worries me. I still think you should have told her.”

“I thought about it, I really did,” Simon mused. “But since you think the investigation has died down, why should I bring up this nastiness to my bride? You said yourself I wasn’t to blame and, Harold, she loves me, she really loves me.”

“I know, but still…oh well…I’m glad you‘re happy,” Harold said, giving up. “I really hope you two can make it work. If not you stand to lose a lot.”

“There you go talking money again.”

“I have to talk money. You not only didn’t sign a prenup, but you gave her half of everything that you own.”

“She doesn’t know that.”

“She will eventually.”

“What do you think she’s going to do, leave me when finds out?”

“I just don’t think it’s the best move you could have made.”

“Listen, if she leaves me, she can have it all. It’s not the money that’s important to me; it’s her and the family we’re going to have. Without her nothing is important. The money only means I can buy her things that will make her happy.”

Harold laughed. “It looks like your married life has already started. She’s taken the mansion and banished you out here to the guest house.”

“Women! Can you believe it?” Simon laughed. “I’ve been out here for three days because she doesn’t want me to see her in her gown before the wedding and her mother thinks we shouldn’t be sleeping together.” He laughed again. “Harold, old man, I have to tell you, its been the longest three days of my life and tonight I plan to make up for those three days. Mrs. Kohl will be mine forever and no one will be able to take her from me.”

* * *

“You look beautiful,” her mother said in a whispery soft voice that still carried the remnants of her tears.

“Thanks, Mom,” Janice said. “You know this isn’t what I thought my wedding day would be like.”

“What do you mean?” her mother asked, studying her.

“I didn’t know I would be this happy when I agreed to marry Simon, that I would know without a doubt that this was the right thing for me to do.”

“Are you that sure?”

“I’m that sure. I don’t know how I ever thought before that Simon and I were with each other just for convenience.”

“You must have been blind.”

“Yeah, I must have been,” Janice agreed, turning to admire her reflection in the mirror. “You know, if Simon had not invited Tommy to the announcement of his gift for black bookstores, I don’t know if any of this would have happened. “

“I know you once dreamed of marrying Tommy. Did you picture yourself happy when you thought of marrying him?”

“I pictured everything that I did with Tommy as happy. I didn’t know any better,” Janice smiled. “Now I do.”

“Are you really sure that you have no feelings left for Tommy?”

Janice let out a breath before turning to face her mother. “Somewhere inside of me there will always be feelings for Tommy, but they’re mixed.” She saw the worried frown begin on her mother’s face and rushed to finish. “But I’m not in love with him, Mom. I think about him sometimes and what we had and I think of it fondly. But I don’t want to replace Simon with Tommy if that’s what you’re asking me.” She kissed her mother’s cheek. “Don’t worry, if Simon had never asked me to marry him I still would not have wanted a future with Tommy. It is because of Tommy that I realized that I no longer have to be afraid of loving someone. So in a way, we have Tommy to thank for my happiness.” Janice grinned, then laughed as the thought took hold.

“I’ll bet you money that Simon won’t thank him.”

Janice laughed. “I won’t take that bet because I know he won’t either. Tommy has been badmouthing Simon to anyone who’ll listen.”

“Don’t forget, baby, just in case Tommy does come up with something, we all have skeletons in our closest.”

“Do you, Mama?”

“Of course I do. So do you.”

“Are you going to tell me?”

“Are you going to tell me yours?” Carol Adams laughed and hugged her daughter to her. “You look just beautiful, baby.”

* * *

Simon stood under the arbor in the back yard and waited for his bride. He barely glanced at the colorful blooms that decorated the entire yard or smelled their perfume. There was one thing and one thing only that had meaning for Simon and that was his marrying Mary Jo Adams. Her parents had insisted on her using her birth name for the ceremony. In the end he’d sided with them. It had surprised the hell out of him when she’d agreed.

The music started and Janice walked out to the sound of Kelly Clarkson singing ‘I Can’t Believe.’ His heartbeat increased and he could feel his face splitting into a grin as he stared at her. She lifted her eyes, snagged his gaze, and he grinned even wider.

He looked briefly toward Harold, who was his best man, and ignored the worried frown that furrowed his brow. Nothing would happen to mar their happiness, he wouldn’t allow it.

“Hey you.” Janice smiled somewhat shyly at him as her father delivered her to his side.

“Hi yourself,” he answered, feeling his heart melt with love for her. Today he wasn’t a ruthless business man. He was a total wuss and he didn’t give a damn. He glanced around at the thirty guests assembled and grinned.

And then he kissed his bride.

He intended to just press her lips softly, but he couldn’t stop himself. Once he tasted her sweetness, he had no choice but to pry her lips apart and suck on the nectar that was Janice. His heart hammered in his chest. God, how he loved her.

“Would you two cut it out and wait for the ceremony?”

He felt Janice giggle in his mouth and pulled back to laugh at her.“Are you laughing at my kisses already?”

“No, darling, I’m laughing at you.”

Simon grinned, wanting to strip her naked, make love to her right there. Only because he was claiming her as his bride did he have the patience to wait for the vows.

Simon searched her eyes for any sign of doubts or hesitation, and he saw none. “I love you,” he whispered between the minister’s words, just wanting to hear her say it back to him.

“I love you too.” She grinned and owned his heart completely.

The rest of the ceremony was a blur, as was the reception. He’d suddenly turned into a possessive, jealous man and hated that his new bride was expected to mingle with the guests. Even though they were few in number it seemed that every second someone was kissing her. Simon wanted to shove them away from her, keep her to himself. But he resisted the urge.

Janice kissed another well-wisher and looked up at Simon’s frowning face. She grinned and began walking toward him. Her shoe caught on a stone and she felt herself tripping forward. Trying to right herself, she did the opposite and began to fall backward. Damn! she thought, just what a bride needs, to fall flat not only in a pristine white wedding gown, but a one-of-a-kind one.

But she didn’t fall flat.

Janice turned her head to thank her rescuer and saw Simon’s grinning face. “You caught me! How? You were in front of me.”

“You needed me.”

“But how?”

Simon brought his shoulder up in a shrug. “I don’t know. I could just picture you landing and someone snapping a picture. I couldn’t let that happen. Like I said, you needed me. I will always be there when you need me, I promise.” He smiled tenderly. “I love you.”

“I know you mean it, Simon, and I trust you to keep your promise.”

His resolve to remain patient ended. He lifted her in his arms, cursing the mounds of slippery fabric that complicated his effort.

“Simon, just where do you think you’re going?” Janice asked as he started inside with her in his arms.

“You don’t know?” he asked, his voice cocky and filled with lust.

“I know that we’re in the middle of our wedding reception and it’s rude for us to just leave.”

“And would you rather not be rude to our guests or allow your husband to show you how much he wants you?”

“You know the answer. But can’t you wait for a little while?”

He stopped. “I’m afraid not, darling. If you don’t agree to some privacy, in five minutes I will make love to you right here on the lawn for all to see.” He made a move as if to put her down and she clung to him as he’d hoped she would. “You won’t miss the party, I promise.” he whispered into her ear.

“If you’re going to be quick, then maybe it won’t be worth my time to leave.”

Simon looked down into her smiling face and laughed. “That’s what you think,” he said, carrying her into the house, ignoring the calls and cheers, and continued with her into their bedroom.

After unbuttoning two dozen tiny buttons without actually freeing her from the dress, he was ready to rip the dress off her. He shook his head. “I don’t know if I have the patience to fight any longer with this damn dress.” He gave her a sly smile, pulled the mound of fabric upward, and dove under.

Taken by surprise, Janice laughed so hard that her body shook. “Simon, there’s a zipper.”

“Where? I didn’t see one.”

“You’re not supposed to see one. Now come on out and let’s do this the right way.”

“Actually I’m having fun right where I am,” Simon answered, and he was.

“I think it would be better if you help me take this dress off.”

His flesh jerked at the word better and he came from beneath her dress. “Why didn’t you tell me there was a zipper?”

“Because it was so much fun watching you fight with the buttons.”

“You want to play with me, I see,” Simon said. “Where is the zipper? I don’t see anything.”

“You’re not supposed to, it’s invisible.”

“Where is it?”

She took his hand, and slid it inside the back of her dress. His fingers felt hot enough to scorch. As he slowly unzipped her, she felt his warm breath wash over her back and she shivered.

“Simon we really did it, we’re married.”

“I know.” He answered, his voice husky and filled with need. “For awhile I didn’t know if we’d make it. There seemed to be so many obstacles in our path.” He slid the dress from her body.

“Tommy was never competition, Simon.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

“Why did it feel like it?”

She was facing him now. “We can spend our time talking about Tommy, or we can do something else,” she said, and began removing his tux. “Which do you want?” Her hand moved downward and she unzipped him and reached inside.

He groaned and closed his eyes to savor the sensation. She was intentionally torturing him. He removed his own clothes, then finished undressing his bride and stared at her in awe.

“I love you, Mrs. Kohl,” he said, feeling the words deeply. The knowledge of how much he loved her pierced him and a pang of regret for having lived so long without such love washed over him. He pushed it away. He had it now. The past was just that, the past.

They made love as though it were the first time, touching each other slowly, tentatively. “I promise I’m going to make you happy,” Simon said as he felt her writhing beneath him, about to give in to her need.

“You already have,” Janice said, clutching him to her.

* * *

“I can’t believe it’s over.”

“Just the trip, baby, not the honeymoon,” Simon said. He took a look around the plane and smiled. “We’ll do it again.”

“You only get one first time, Simon,” Janice teased.

“I don’t believe you. Every time we make love now, it’s like it’s the first time.” He watched as her eyes widened and she smiled. He kissed her right there while his crew looked on.

An hour later the limo was depositing them at the door of the mansion. He turned toward his bride. “Welcome home, Mrs. Kohl,” he said, and scooped her up into his arms.

For the next four months they lived as though they were still on their honeymoon. Simon worked minimally, doing what he needed to do from home. Janice did the same, grateful that she still had six months left on her deadline. She wasn’t in the mood for writing, nor did it seem she had any time.