Manhattan Muse: A Contemporary Romance (4 page)

“Molly
Sharpiro,” the production assistant called from the doorway of the theater.

I rose from my seat and threw my bag around my shoulders before entering the theater. I could hear the casting dire
ctor yelling my name in disgust as one of my colleague’s frantically begged him to give me a chance.

“Really, Dave?” the
boisterous man dressed in a bow tie and fedora spat from his middle-stage seat. I hid behind the curtains as I listened to their dialogue unfold. “I need someone who is reliable, not some wannabe who might die on me mid-season.”

My heart sputtered inside my sternum as I
recalled what he was referring to – my cancer.

“She’s passionate, Martin-” Dave said, wavi
ng his hands in front of him furiously.

“I need more than passion, Dave,”
Martin interjected. “I need a pretty face, a slim body, a natural, a star – a fucking pre-madonna that will prance across this stage every night as if she’s on the front line or awaiting death row.”

“Give her one minute of your time,” Dave said, his voice becoming hoarse as he tried to
speak over Martin. “This girl’s got it. She’s the one you have been waiting for all day. I swear on my life you will not find a better dancer than her.”

Martin let out a deep sigh and cast a scowl on his face. Looking at his watch, he mumbled more obscenities under his breath before slamming his bag on the floor.

“Fine,” Martin said. He folded his arms across his chest and slouched in his chair. “Bring her in.”

I gave myself ten seconds to regain my composure before walking up the five steps to center stage. However, I found that I couldn’t shake
my nerves. For the first time, I was so nervous about dancing that I was sure I was on the verge of throwing up.

“Hi, my name is Molly
Sharpiro,” I said, doing my best not to shake.

“No,” the director said bluntly and bent down to pick up his bag. Even though I felt defeated, I
didn’t back down. I needed this money – even if it was for a part in which I would blend into the background.

“And I have been dancing for-”

“I said no,” the casting director said.

I threw my bag down on the stage, letting the thud from its weight echo throughout the auditorium. I kicked it to the side and stood looking at his figure, which had turned around.

“Play me any song,” I said. Even though I was looking deep into his eyes with conviction, I was still shaking in my boots. “And I will dance to it.”

His evil cackle bounced off of every wall as he swiveled with his hand on his hip.

“OK,” Martin said. “I’ll play your little game. Jordan, play the National Anthem.”

My eyes closed
while my fingers flew up to meet the bridge of my nose. As the music started, my brain raced with ways to tackle this challenge. I had heard this song millions of times throughout my years, but I have never once pondered how anyone could dance to it.

Even though I knew I was being set up for failure, I still gave it my all. My legs carried my figure across the stage, diligently giving emphasis to my patriotic hands. As they flew to my heart, I twirled and swooshed the best I could
while contorting my body into positions I didn’t even know I could achieve until now.

However, as I had suspected prior to the song choice, my efforts
wouldn’t be enough no matter how hard I tried. Martin’s hand flew up in the air after five seconds to signal Jordan to cut the music before it snatched up his bag to carry it out of the double doors.

I was mortified beyond belief. As
the piercing silence began to call my ears home, my trembling grew into knocking knees. My body did the first thing it thought to do as my brain registered the rejection. I ran off stage past multiple assistants and set up crews sobbing unmercifully.

All I wanted to do was go home – to jump on the subway without looking anyone in the eye and not come out for days. However, that plan ended as fast as it was devised when I rounded a corner and bounced off of
Nate’s firm chest.

“Whoa,”
Nate said, catching me before I fell on the cement. Realizing it was him, I forced myself to not make eye contact with him or anyone passing by as my embarrassment level reached new heights. “Of all of the places to run into someone you know, I think New York City would be the last.”

I let out a nervous laugh
and looked away to the side. The New York skyline was gray today with low clouds engulfing the tops of the buildings.

“How’ve you been?”
Nate said, assessing the situation before returning his sunglasses to sit across the bridge of his nose. His hand swept my braided up-do, gingerly touching it while a smile of satisfaction stretched across his mouth. “I haven’t heard back from you in a while.”

“Busy,” I said, squelching tears as I tried to pull it together.
“Really busy.”

“I’ll bet,”
Nate said. His hand met my arm with the gentlest caress. “Would you like to tell me about it?”

I grabbed at the strap of my bag before breaking down into another fit of tears. I was in distress as I recalled the past fifteen minutes of my life. However, most of my embarrassment stemmed from the fact that I was angry with myself.

“I have spent the past two weeks practicing for this audition,” I said. The words flowed in rapids, tossing and turning on every detail I told. The deeper I got into the story, the higher my voice sounded. “And then the casting director wouldn’t even give me a chance. I told him to play any song and I would dance to it. He played the national anthem-”

Nate
let a chuckle escape his lips at that detail before regretting it a second later.

“And then,” I said. My voice had reached its peak and in an effort to keep up with my emotions, my mouth decided it best to stutter every one of my remaining words. “I-I-I g-gave it my b-b-b-best
sh-shot but he-ee said noooooooo.”

I saw
Nate’s body fall limp before my eyes squeezed shut to make way for my convulsions. His arms promptly wrapped around my feeble frame and his chin rested on top of my head. Standing in the middle of the sidewalk, he gently rocked me back and forth while his hands traveled the length of my back. The chill of the air amplified the trails of his fingers and I soon calmed in his arms.

“Molly,”
Nate said before his lips pressed against the top of my forehead. “You are the best, and you shouldn’t believe anyone who says otherwise.”

I snorted into his pectoral muscles.

“I should have practiced more,” I said, pulling away. “I… I know it was a long stretch-”

“No,”
Nate said firmly. “You are the best dancer I have ever seen, Molly.”

I drew further away from him and cast my head to the floor to show my disbelief. An awkward stretch of time would have ensued if
Nate’s phone hadn’t sounded with a notification.

“Tell you what, I will prove it to you tonight,”
Nate said, glancing at his mobile before returning it to his pocket with a grimace. “I have to leave the city for three weeks tomorrow, so sadly this is the last chance we will have to hang out for a while.” He placed his hands in his pockets. “I wish you had returned my calls earlier.”

I let a smile slip out of the corner of my mouth.

“After today,” I said while trying not to start crying again. “I wish I had too.”

“I have to get back to work, but,”
Nate said, taking a step towards me. The legs of his jeans were pressed against my leotard allowing me to feel every contour of his below-the-waist attributes. “I will call you as soon as I am off tonight and we will hit up the city’s nightlife. My buddies and I have a table reserved in midtown. I was going to invite you later today but then you
literally
ran into me.”

“I work until one tonight,” I said. I was making excuses but by
Nate’s face, he wasn’t buying it.

“Then I will see you at one-o-one,”
Nate said, turning on his heel.

Watching him walk off, I became mesmerized once again by the slopes of his body – some of which I had felt for a brief moment. His T-shirt was so tight that I could see the dimples indenting his hips. His jeans hugged his assets in all of the right places, making way for the sophistication of his Cole
Haan shoes.

“I wouldn’t walk that way,” I called as part of me didn’t want him to leave just yet. After such a horrific experience, he magically was able to turn my spirits around. No other person – man – had been able to do that before. “It looks like they are filming over there. The street’s blocked off.”

I saw his teeth gleam over his shoulder before he continued walking.

“Oh, Molly,”
Nate’s voice danced in the wind. “You almost got me.”

Even though I was left confused by his last comment, I let my thoughts evaporate to make way for the
polaroids my mind was snapping before he rounded the corner out of sight.

I was amazed by how easily he had worked his magic on me, and by how easily I was beginning to give in after forcing myself to try and forget him for fourteen days prior.

When I received his text under the lip of the bar, it was as if every butterfly had decided to call my stomach home. For the first time since we had parted, I had smiled and walked with an extra pip in my step. Even the customers were noticing as I flipped the bottles with more oomph and topped off my drinks with an extra kick.

1:01 at the Anchor on Spring St. I can’t wait to see you, sweetheart.

As I swept an extra coat of mascara and freshened my up-do in the mirrors backstage, I saw Sugar’s grin spread across the length of the mirror.

“Go
get’em, Tiger,” Sugar growled before she set down a double shot of whiskey and exited to go on stage.

I rode the train two stops to Hudson
Street before walking the two blocks to the front of the club. Ad agencies and the world’s notorious designers filled my view as I looked up to the clear sky. My heart was in my throat despite its weight from my previous embarrassment, and I was tired beyond belief. However, the thought of seeing Nate for the last time convinced me to make this night count.

After tonight,
Nate and I were through. There wouldn’t be any more cooking dates, fine dining, slow dancing, or running into each other.

He would be on the other side of the globe and I would be slowly deteriorating.

“She’s with me,” I heard before seeing his silhouette round the corner of the dimly lit club. The bouncer promptly unlatched the gate from its post and let me in. Taking my hand, Nate led me up to the rooftop where his table was. Draped by red curtains, a couch unfolded before me as the city’s view changed from twenty stories up.

Ushering me to sit down, I set my clutch in my lap as his friends, which were the same ones from the night we had first met, handed me a drink.
Nate’s lips pressed against mine before drifting to the side of my ear to voice the sweetest words. By the taste of his breath, he was a little intoxicated.

“You kept your hair the same,”
Nate said while his hand ventured across its immaculate design. “It looks beautiful.”

I smiled and, in an effort to deflect the attention away from myself, said my next piece.

“Not as beautiful as the skyline,” I said. I cradled my head in his neck and kissed one of the freckles I had noticed the first day I had seen him. I regretted my display of affection as soon as it was over. Leaning back to meet his eyes, I fanned my fingers across his blonde bangs. “I’m sorry. I think I pregamed a little too hard.”

I laughed out of nervousness, but when I saw his genuine smile light up his face I couldn’t help but crumble. My forehead met his and our lips were about to touch as his friends’ girl fell into the table, ending a bottle’s plight on the floor.

She laughed the way only a drunk person would as she picked herself back up and swung in his arms. To my amazement, his friend was cracking up instead of angry, which I found to be odd since two hundred dollars of alcohol had just shattered on the floor. His hand waved through the air to signal the bartenders to replenish the table’s stash.

“Case in point,”
Nate said, taking my hand and sashaying me in front of him. “Their scene, not mine. However, you make it bearable.”

I polished off the last sip of my cocktail before fluttering onto the dance floor in his arms.

“Come on,”
Nate said, swinging his arm through the air as we crept down the alleyway to the back door. He entered in a code that illuminated a green light. I heard a lock pop open which begged Nate’s bulky arm to swing it open.

“I still don’t think this is
a good idea,” I said, walking into the theater. Nate promptly warmed up all of the stage lights and as they grew brighter, I saw them once again give justice to his muscular body.

“Don’t fret,”
Nate said, placing a folding chair at the edge of the stage. “Technically, we didn’t break in.”

“Technically, the security cameras are going to film our every move,” I said, swaying across the stage.

“Well, Miss Sharpiro, I don’t plan on stealing anything but your heart,” Nate said. A goofy smile stretched across his face as my lips curled in embarrassment. “Alright, show me what you got. This is your second chance.”

“There are no second chances in the dance world,” I said, still twirling gingerly in tiny circles. “You have one shot to make it or break it, and I highly doubt I will be able to perform better than I did earlier today while I’m this tipsy.”

“Well then, give it a shot,” Nate said. “Like you said once before, I won’t let you fall.”

“No,” I said, laughing as he booted up the stereo with my song choice. “You will just fall down with me.”

Nate’s eyebrow lifted in agreement as the song sounded from the speakers. Taking off my club dress which had inevitably placed me further in debt, I was stripped to my boy shorts and bustier. Free of my restrictions, I let my legs rise to kiss the air and my arms reach out to form a circle in front of me.

Improvising across the floor, I danced the night away lost in my inebriated thoughts. My head swarmed with mixed emotions, every twist and turn lifting their weight from my shoulders. I didn’t want to think about tomorrow. I wanted to fixate on today, and today I was in front of a man who was memorized by my every move.

As the song came to a close, I landed on top of his lap. Throwing my arms around his neck, I looked deep into his eyes. It felt like he could see into the depths of my soul and read every one of my secrets tattooed on my heart.

“I give
your performance a ten,” Nate said. His jaw set in place. Dreamy eyes fluttered across my lips as a finger burned a trail across my cheek. I could hear the love music playing in the back of my head as I returned the gesture along the nape of his neck. “I didn’t want it to end.”

“I don’t want this to end,” I said, instantly regretting my words once more. My inner thighs were tingling with pleasure, rushing blood to between my legs, even though I knew this emotion was the wrong one to act on at the moment. My hips pressed into his as he planted a passionate kiss on my lips.

I saw him glance up at the security cameras before letting out a sigh.

“Let’s get out of here,”
Nate said, picking me up and carrying me back out the double doors.

He didn’t set me down until we were
in front of my apartment. His shoulder was soaked with my tears, and I couldn’t tell if he was pretending he didn’t know that they were there or if he was indeed unaware of their presence.

He pulled me in for a deep kiss once more and placed my hands in his as he leaned back to stand up tall
.

“Molly,”
Nate said, his voice getting caught on a high note. As he cleared his voice, I felt him shaking beneath me. I realized what words were about to be said, and felt my insides churn. In an effort to keep them from spewing from his lips, I started rambling.

“Am I going to get arrested for tonight?” I said, wiping away the mascara lines from my cheeks. “I’m really scared. I mean, after tonight-”

“Molly,” Nate said, gripping my hands a little tighter.

“-you must be rich or something. What are you – a lawyer, salesmen, real estate broker,
international playboy?”

Nate
let a smile creep across his face as he tried to calm his nerves.

“No, but I have played all of those,”
Nate said.

“I think everyone has pretended to be one of those at one point during their childhood,” I said, confused as to why what I said was so funny to him. My finger drunkenly poked his chest. “But what do you really do?”

Nate chuckled once more before he realized my question was serious.

“Wait,”
Nate said, hesitantly. “You really have no idea who I am?”

I looked around nervously as my hand cupped the back of my arm.

“No,” I said, afraid I had bruised his ego.

“So,”
Nate said, backing up and throwing his hands in his pockets. “This whole time, you weren’t putting on an act?”

My arms flew to my chest and crossed in an effort to protect my heart.

“No,” I said, defensively.

“So, you really can cook and dance,”
Nate said. “And you really wear Versace one day and leggings the next?”

I let out a disgusted sigh before turning around. Fishing for my keys, I attempted to unlock my door.
He was just like the other guys I had dated. He doubted my abilities, cast me into a stereotype, and made me feel inferior all in one swift sentence.

“Wait,”
Nate said, nudging my shoulder to turn around. “I’m … I’m an actor. I’ve done a lot of popular movies – Diving Under, Losing Faith, Running in Circles, and some TV shows. Martin, the casting director, works on set with me.”

The guilt crept up my throat and was trying to force itself out of my mouth. I couldn’t look him in the eye. I was embarrassed and in shock. How could I have been so naïve? This gives credence to stalking on the internet before accepting a date from a man you don’t know.

“Sorry,” I whispered as I choked back tears. “I didn’t know that. I didn’t really deem it important what you did.”

Nate
was hanging on every one of my words, each of them drawing him a little closer to me.

“You don’t… you don’t deem it important,”
Nate said, letting my own words roll across his tongue. “You know how long I have been waiting for a girl to say that to me?”

“
Nate, I,” I started, before tearing up. “I can’t be that girl.”

I watched his hands fall from smoothing his course beard to wrap around my waist.

“Of course you can,” Nate said. “I’ll take care of you.”

“You don’t know what that entails,” I stuttered under my breath.
My insides became hollow as I braced myself for the moment I had been putting off for two months.

“Molly,”
Nate said, brushing my free hairs behind my ear. He kissed me passionately, resulting in my knees buckling under me and my hips once against thrusting into his. “I’m in love with you.”

“You can’t,” I said, falling apart in his arms. In an effort to sweep the news of my health under the rug, I added the last bit. “You can’t say that just to come inside.”

“I’m not,” Nate said, his face showing the cut of my words. “I really do love you.”

“You can’t,” I whispered.

“Why not?” Nate said, becoming defensive. His arms unraveled from around my frame and stood up straight. “Why can’t I?”

I stood there in silence sobbing, looking everywhere but into his eyes. I couldn’t bear looking at him. I couldn’t witness how he reacts to having his heart broken.

“Awesome,” Nate said, before chortling. A tear streamed halfway down his cheek before he wiped it away furiously. “Well, I hope you are happy with yourself. You can put me down as another one of your victims because I refuse to play Adam’s role. I’m not lowering myself to convenie-”

“I have cancer!” I screamed at him before breaking down. “I-I-I…”

I couldn’t hold it together anymore. I fell to the ground and curled my back into the fetal position. Through my dissociation, I saw Nate stand shell shocked before his body caught up to his mind. He picked me up with ease and set me on the banister of the stairs cradling me in the tightest embrace.

“I…. have…
breast… cancer,” I whispered into his ear. He kissed every crevice along the side of my neck as I spoke. I felt his tears fall on my shoulder and down my breasts. “That’s why I dance at night. That’s why I needed that stage gig. I’m not that type of girl I just… I’m scared and in debt. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to tell you.”

“No, no,”
Nate said, hushing me. His hand swept across the top of my head, burning those notorious trails of his fingernails into my scalp. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“I thought you would get tired of me before this,” I said, gripping his flexed muscles. Feeling them under my hands brought me comfort. In his arms, I couldn’t help but feel like a princess locked up in a castle. I could sleep soundly inside them, no matter how harsh the storm outside became. “I am such a diva in real life,
Nate. I’ve been completely humbled this past month.”

“You are perfect,”
Nate said, pushing the thought away from my mind once again. “Even when you cry. You shouldn’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

I began to cry harder at the sound of his words. I didn’t want to go home alone. I didn’t want to shut the door and bear the pain of tonight all by myself. Just
an hour ago, I was dancing on the rooftop of an exclusive bar, then on the stage that I had worked two weeks to call mine, and just two minutes ago I had heard someone tell me they genuinely loved me for the first time in my life.

I gripped his face before pressing his lips into mine – hard. I did it again, and again, until we both couldn’t stop. I heard his breathing grow uneven and felt his hands cup my bottom.

“Don’t make me sleep alone,” I breathed. After a brief lock of our eyes, Nate took my keys out of my loose grip and led us upstairs into my bedroom.

Lying down on top of me on the bed, I slipped away as his lips trailed the outline of my neck down to in between my breasts. My back arched as his hot breath met my erect nipples, engulfing them in his mouth with light pulls and licks.

My hands combed through his hair to show my appreciation as he took his time making love to every part of me. He sucked on the back of my knees, on the folds of my underarms, and up my back to my shoulder blades. As his exposed skin pressed against mine, I lost myself in the sheets.

Kissing down to his member, I let him contort my body so that his tongue could trail the length of my rosy mound as my mouth buried his penis into its moist depths. His warm breath blew across my lips begging a moan
to bubble up from my throat, making Nate throw his head back in ecstasy. His arms became limp at the new sensations and my body fell to the bed, giving his its full attention.

When he was on the verge of climax, I surfaced from under the sheets licking my lips. Straddling him, I buried him once more inside of me and let out a groan that made my hands fly up to my breasts. Plunging him in and out of me, I soon let him drown in my wake as a crippling climax drew itself out of me.

Shrieking in pleasure, Nate was sent over the edge and fell limp against the bed with me as the last convulsion shattered through each of us.

Nate
’s arms drew me to him as he tried to catch his breath. He didn’t let go of me all night. He stayed by my side.

When I awoke in the morning, there wasn’t a note on the side table.
Instead, there was a hand intertwined with mine three weeks later as I checked into my clinic for my first round of chemotherapy. There were lips to kiss mine right before I was put under. There was someone who would stay by my side even when I wasn’t always conscious when he visited.

Nate
didn’t believe in convenience – for me or for himself. He wasn’t a temporary shoulder to lean on or a body to warm the bed. He was my rock, who believed in sticking by my side through thick and thin despite the demand of his career.

I just didn’t realize how good I had it yet.