Man Up Stepbrother (7 page)

"Why not?"

"Because of who she is." I hesitate. "To me."

"Would you spit it out already."

"Okay, fine." I look down at the bottle in my hands and pick at the label with my thumbnail. "It isn't exactly appropriate for us to have
that
kind of relationship. And even if it is, people might look at us funny when they realize. And I don't know if she's cool with it."

"What is she, twelve?"

"You're a sick motherfucker. You know that?"

"Well, then what's the problem?"

"I'd rather not say."

"How do you expect me to help you if you won't give me any details?"

I squeeze the neck of the bottle in my hands, trying to keep my shit together. "C'mon man, spill about you and Lexi. Weren't you worried about getting involved with her?"

There's the death stare again.

"Because of Cooper. If things didn't work, it's not like you could just walk away."

"Why are you so interested in me and my wife?"

"How fucking thick are you? I told you it's not Lexi." I swear he's doing this on purpose. Probably getting off on it too, just like when I was younger. I'd ask Troy and his friends a question, and they'd frustrate the shit out of me by asking questions in return and not answering me at all. Maybe I should cut my losses and get out of here. "You know what? I'll get out of your hair," I say, straightening up to my full height.

"No. Stay." Noah stops me with his stern tone. "I owe it to Lexi. When Allie accused her of having phone sex with you while we were away, I went ape shit. I know you called her, and then she left the room..."

The rest of what Noah says is background noise as I realize what happened. Allie overheard me on the phone with Lexi and instead of asking, she jumped to the wrong conclusion. Ah fuck, she jumped to the conclusion I led her to. That explains the silence from Allie and the strange tension between Noah and Lexi.

"Come to think of it, Allie was pretty pissed about the phone sex thing, too," I'm pulled back to the moment. "And how would she know about it anyway, unless she overheard you." I stay silent as he works it all out and pieces the puzzle together. "It had to be the middle of the night here, so what would she be doing with you?"

I don't respond. I roll my bottom lip between my teeth and stare at him, wondering how long it's going to take for him to figure it out.

Not more than ten seconds pass. So much for my secret.

"It's Allie."

I nod. "Yeah. It's Allie."

"Why didn't Lexi tell me?"

"She doesn't know. Maybe she suspects, but she doesn't know for sure. Besides, she’d rather you kick my ass than have us talk."

His brows pull together. "That's bullshit."

I shake my head with a knowing smirk. "She's afraid I'm going to tell you the truth about us in high school."

I feel the tension rise up as Noah's spine straightens.

"And that would be?"

"She used me in an attempt to make her dreams come true," I smirk.

I can almost see the hairs on his arms stand on end. It's good to know he's on his toes. This way he doesn't get too comfortable and take her for granted. Then I'd be forced to kick his ass.

"Relax, lover boy," I say, bringing the bottle up to my lips and taking a long swig. "It's not what you think. I wasn't quite her boy toy, at least not in the same way you are. My job was to make you jealous."

"No, she didn't."

"Yep. Wanted me to talk her up to Troy. Especially when you and Coop were around, so you'd know guys were interested in her. She wanted to prove her worth to you, or some shit like that."

Noah scrubs his hand over his face. "She paid you to do this?"

"Um hm. At first. Then she paid me with favors."

He grabs me by the shirt, but lets go and backs off immediately when his eyes meet mine. He might be older than me and have something worth fighting for, but pushed far enough, I know no boundaries. Not anymore. 

"So you didn't have a thing for her in high school?"

"Lexi was hot, there's no denying that, but we were never more than friends. And as friends, we served as each other's backups. If one of us needed a date, or to make someone jealous, the other one was game. And I had her back if she needed to get creeps with the wrong intentions to back off."

"So you never kissed her? Never had sex with her?"

"Nah. We were just friends. I knew even though she denied it, she only had eyes for you. Even back then," I slap him on the shoulder.

"Then if she doesn't know how you feel about Allie, and you're not after her, what was the call about?"

Before I have a chance to say anything, Lexi opens the sliding glass door, leading Troy and Marlena out onto the deck. Mia, the little sprite in pigtails, trails close behind, pulling Allie by the hand straight over to me.

God, I love this kid.

"Wuncle Jagga!" Mia squeals as I lift her up over my head and gently toss her up. "Again! Again!"

"Maybe later, little lady. I don't want you tossing your cookies all over me." I don't know if she understands what I mean, but the kid is happy, and she's a good excuse for the big smile I'm wearing as well.

Mia's hands clasp together behind my neck. "Luv you," she says, planting about twenty kisses on my cheek with loud, smooching sounds.

"I love you too, angel."

There's something about holding this little-bit-of-a-thing with Allie standing beside me that feels right. That makes me long for roots and a family.

I almost lose my hold on Mia as she half-leans, half-dives over, stretching her arms out to Allie.

"Allee!" Mia says, wrapping her arms around Allie's neck.

I step in closer so I can pass the wriggling Mia over to her safely. I'm so close, the top of my thigh touches Allie's hip and her body heat warms me. Close enough to breathe in the sweet scent of Allie's strawberry shampoo and to notice she's breathing deeper with my proximity. But apparently not close enough for Allie to acknowledge me.

What's better is that Mia doesn't want to leave my arms. Instead she reaches one arm back to me and wraps it around my neck while keeping the other around Allie's. I follow Mia's lead and tilt my head towards Allie.

"Kiss," Mia says with a smile. This is perfect. I couldn't have planned it better.

I lock my gaze onto Allie. There's nothing I'd like more than to lean in just a little closer and press my lips against hers. I would if I knew she wouldn't turn away, but I have no idea how she'll react.

"I think she's trying to tell us something," I say, keeping my eyes glued on Allie's, looking for a clue as to what is in her heart. "What say you?" I whisper.

Allie doesn't answer. At least not with words. Her cheeks turn a blistering shade of red as her eyes avert mine. I reach one hand out, tempted to stroke her face, tempted to take her chin between my fingers while I brush my lips against hers. Instead, I push a golden lock of hair back behind her ear.

Her eyes jump back up and lock on mine.

Don't fight it, baby.

Her lips part, and I hear a change in her breathing.

She feels it, too. The electric thrill or whatever the hell this is when I touch her that causes my chest to swell and my heart to race, she feels it. I'm sure of it.

That's the opening I needed. Just a hint, a clue of how she might react. I lean in, bringing my lips toward hers. This move definitely gets her attention. Her mouth and those steely grey eyes open wide as she sucks in a long breath. She's so beautiful, and so embarrassed. The look in her eyes, the vulnerability is sweet. Priceless.

I don't make it to her lips. My mouth makes a sudden turn and lands on her cheek instead. I see the letdown in her eyes as I pull away with a smile and look at her again.

"Hey, beautiful," I whisper so only she can hear. "I missed you."

Seconds, minutes, hours possibly pass before she gathers her wits about her. "Hi," is all she says before the trance is broken and she looks away.

Mia starts wriggling and pressing down on my arms. Guess she's been in one place for too long. "Okay Angel, here you go." I say, setting her down on the deck.

"When Noah invited us over, he didn't mention you were coming too," Troy says, invading our personal space.

"Yeah, well, there was something I needed to talk to Noah about."

"Really? Want to share?"

"Not so much."

"You're a dick," he says, shoving my shoulder playfully.

"Love you too, big brother."

The sliding glass door leading back to the kitchen opens. Selene walks out first, with Cooper holding Jaxson in his arms close behind.

"We're here, the party can start," Cooper announces in his usual I'm the most-important-person-here way.

"So, Allie," Troy starts, pulling our attention back to our little threesome and away from the larger group. "Whatever happened with that guy? He come on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness yet?"

My heart shrieks. It screams its head off in silence, dying with each breath.

"Guy?"
What fucking guy?

I know in my gut who the "guy" is. I know it's Bailey, that fucking loser. I've had eyes on him for the last five days too, so I know they haven't seen each other. But it doesn't mean they haven't spoken.

Is that why I haven't heard from her? She's listening to what he has to say, he's in and I'm out? I bite the inside of my cheek as I drown out everything around me and Allie becomes my sole focus. I wonder if she can feel the sharpness of my stare because right about now, I'm so angry that she'd give him another opportunity to hurt her, I can't see clearly.

Allie doesn't say anything as her eyes drop to the ground and she wrings her hands together.

"I'm sorry. Did I let the cat out of the bag?" Troy asks, leaning in to her. He's as close to her as I am. That's too close. A lot too close. I want to shove my brother the hell away. "You can trust Jagger. He's a good guy, protective too."
Gee thanks, bro. I didn't realize I needed your fucking endorsement.
"We never had a sister before, I'm sure he'll love looking out for you as much as I do."

"She's not our sister," I snap, my cold hard stare still glued to Allie.

"Fine, stepsister. You happy?"

"No," I answer as Allie glares back at me. "It's not like our parents got married when we were kids, or like we ever lived in the same house. Something you should both get straight, I don't think of Allie as any sort of sister, and I never will."

"Shit, what the hell is wrong with you? I'm just trying to make her feel like part of the family." Troy criticizes. I don't answer. "Sorry about him," my brother apologizes. "He's not usually such a jackass."

I don't bother hanging around to defend or explain myself. I turn away from them and storm back in the house and straight to the front door. I stop and lean my forehead against the wall, weighing my options. If I leave now, there's no going back.

No one else will know why I left or what bothered me so much I couldn't stand to be near her a minute longer, but she'll know. And I don't know if Allie will forgive me. What the hell does it matter? She didn't even acknowledge me out there.

Do I walk away, or turn around and stake a claim on her?

Either way, I look like an ass. Especially if I kiss her and she pushes me away out of some sort of misplaced loyalty to Bailey, or because Troy made a big deal out of the fact that she's our stepsister. I'm trapped because either choice will most likely end with her hating me. What the hell is the difference? She's always hated me. Why should I think one night changed that? That it changed anything?

This isn't like me, to be unsure and insecure. To base important decisions on the type of tilt-a-whirl night we had together. One extraordinary night where the planets aligned and the ground beneath my feet shifted and pushed me in Allie's direction.

One momentous night of flirtatious touches and come-hither looks. A night of shared secrets and lust-tinged kisses. One drunken night of frenzied emotions and a yearning that erupted throughout my body like a rocket screaming into space.

Yeah, she wanted to kiss me, but what if she hadn't been drinking, would that still have been so important to her?

Fuck. I don't know what to do. What's the right thing here? Walking away? I know that's what I should do, but then why does that feel like the absolute wrong thing? I scrub my hands over my face, debating.

I know what I need to do. I don't like it, but it's the right thing. I've always been about doing what's right over doing what's easy. Pursuing her, while not exactly easy, is nowhere near as difficult as the other option.

I force myself to step away from the wall and reach for the doorknob. It's turning the knob I'm not sure I can manage. Holding this damn lever is gutting me. I'm walking away.

Fuck, that's what I'm doing, I'm walking away from the girl that's clawed her way into my heart.

That's why I'm doing this. Because she matters. More than anyone ever has. Why do I have to do this?
Why is it the reasonable choice?