Man Up Stepbrother (6 page)

I snuggle up in the crook of Jagger's neck, taking every bit of warmth and affection he's offering. I breathe him in, losing myself further to the intimacy of the moment. The scent of pine and the outdoors lingers on his skin. It's the first time I've been this physically close to Jagger, and I'm suddenly overcome with the thirst to know everything about him.

"Were you scared when you were deployed?" I ask.

His whole body goes rigid next to mine as he sucks in a few long, deep breaths. I don't think he's going to answer me as silence wraps around him like a protective barrier. A ball of anxiety grows in my stomach. Did I say something wrong? Why is it okay for him to ask about my relationship with Bailey but wrong for me to ask about his time served?

"There were times I was terrified." The deep timbre of his voice slices through the silence.

My arms tighten around him.

"But those aren't things we should talk about before bed. I wouldn't want to give you nightmares when I promised sweet dreams."

I feel him pulling away emotionally, and I don't like how it feels. He's been so different tonight, so warm and engaged. At times it even looked like he wore his emotions on his sleeve. I've never seen him like this before, like someone I can fall in love with, and now he's shutting down right before my eyes.

I decide not to push him. I like the Jagger I've glimpsed tonight. I want to get to know him better, and I'm afraid if I pursue this, he'll slam the door shut and keep me locked out in the cold.

"I know better than to argue," I start, letting him know he's off the hook. "I understand how seriously you take your promises. But the thing is, I don't remember you making this one."

"That's because I'm making it now. I promise from here on out, if you sleep in my arms, I'll chase away the bogeyman and guarantee you'll have sweet dreams."

"That's a heavy load to carry," I tease.

"Good thing I'm built like steel. Now close those eyes, I don't want to tell you again."

I smile and do as he says. I shouldn't enjoy him being a bossy, controlling ass, but I do. Far more than I'd ever admit to him or anyone else. I start to drift off with thoughts of me and Jagger and that hot, raging kiss.

Maybe this isn't so crazy after all.

*

What the hell?
I feel movement next to me and my heart sprints off fifteen feet in front of me. I open my eyes to the dark room and realize I'm not in my bed. The click of a door closing tells me I'm not alone either.
Fuck
.

My head aches and pounds. I try to sit up, and the room moves around me like I'm the middle of a spin cycle inside a washing machine. What the hell happened?

Drinks. Lots of drinks.

A flood of memories crashes over me. I release the breath caught in the back of my throat as it all comes back to me.
Jagger
. I'm in Jagger's bed. Alone in Jagger's bed. He must have gone to use the bathroom or get a drink. The movement of him getting up is what stirred me from my sleep.

I touch my pointer and middle fingers to my still-swollen lips as I replay the memories of Jagger's mouth crushing mine. What a night. I don't know what to make of it. There are so many emotions and sensations to muddle through.

I hear Jagger's voice in the other room. It's late for him to have company, isn't it? Maybe he's on the phone with his mother? Oh my God, what if something happened to my father? I jump out of bed and stumble to the door. I pull it open and freeze when I hear the words he's speaking with clarity and close the door so it's only open a crack. This way I can listen without being detected.

"No. Now." There's a short pause before he speaks again. "I don't give a fuck if Noah's right next to you, go find somewhere you can speak in private."

My heart crash-lands at my feet.
Lexi
. Why the fuck is he calling Lexi in the middle of the night? Okay, middle of the night on the East Coast, but still, it's got to be close to midnight in California. He speaks again, and these words hurt far more than they should.

"Phone sex, what do you think?"

He lied to me. It's all I can think as I shut the door and stagger back to bed. Why did I open up to him? Why did I let him in? I know better than to trust Jagger. And Lexi? She's supposed to be my best friend. 

She's been hiding one hell of a secret acting like a lovesick puppy over Noah while she's screwing around with his friend's brother. All she ever does is complain about how Jagger won't leave her alone, and it's pissing Noah off. She claims Noah is her everything, and she wishes Jagger would go fall off a cliff.

No wonder why. He can torpedo her marriage in the blink of an eye. What did he say when I asked him about her? "It's complicated." Yeah, fucking a married woman usually is complicated.

If only he would've told me the truth. I wouldn't have thrown myself at him. We only shared a few kisses, but still I wouldn't have confessed how much I wanted to kiss him. What a minute ago was a beautiful memory is now tainted and meaningless.

I still can't wrap my head around Jagger and Lexi. Especially not tonight of all nights, when he knew how much seeing Bailey and the bitch got to me. This is why he was able to control himself. He knew he'd be looking for a release with her once I drifted off to sleep.

I know he's not mine, I have no claim on him, but still I thought what we shared tonight was real. Sincere. Instead I feel betrayed.

More so than I felt with Bailey because Jagger saw how much that hurt me. And because like it or not, Jagger and I will be connected for the rest of our lives. So much for Jagger's promises of no regrets and sweet dreams.

If only I had my car here, I'd walk out and leave. But I can't. I'm at his fucking mercy. Sure I could walk out, but I don't much feel like roaming the streets for hours alone in the middle of the night.

Shit head
.

I lie down and close my eyes tight, fighting the tears pricking the back of my eyes. I need to pull myself together and find a way to go back to sleep before he gets back in here. If I'm awake he might try to explain, and the last thing I want to hear tonight are more lies, more bullshit spilling from his lips.

What a fool I am to let him suck me in.

I fucking hate Jagger Evans.

And wait until Lexi gets back. That bitch has a lot of explaining to do. And even then, I just might get a whole lot of pleasure when I decide to turn her world upside down.

Chapter 7

Jagger

I pull my phone from my pocket and check again for a message. Nothing. Not a fucking peep from Allie. My fingers clench the phone tight as I shove it back down in my pocket. Five days since I saw her. Five long, endless days.

I promised myself I'd have patience and not push her, but that was five days ago, when I thought, when I could've sworn something ignited between us. Five agonizing days since I held her in my arms and tasted the sweetness of her mouth. Five fucking days since like a jackass, I didn't let anything happen as I held her against me until she fell asleep in my bed.

Fuck, I'm an idiot.
   

"Hey, you ready to get out of here?" Shane asks, crumbling a paper from his desk into a ball and tossing it at my face.

I snatch the paper before it hits me. "Dickhead." I narrow my eyes and glare at him.

"You've been in a shit mood all week. Want to tell me what crawled up your ass?"

"Not particularly."

"You make it official yet?" he asks.

I bring my hands up to my head, run my fingers over the cropped sides of my hair, and clasp them together behind it. "Leave it alone," I growl.

"Look, you know if some bitch has you on the ropes, this is the best place to be. We're never tied to one place for too long."

A decade and a half ago, Shane knocked his girl up in high school and with limited legal options to provide for a family, he enlisted. While he's higher in the ranks than me, I don't think it would matter much. He loves this life. He lights up when he talks about the fight. Me, I don't want to go back. Out there, you need to always keep on high alert because the second you let your guard down, chances of you being blown to smithereens quadruples. I just can't bring myself to make it a reality.

"Yeah. There's nothing like getting sent on a peacekeeping mission where our enemies know we're sitting ducks."

"Then you're out."

"I don't know what the fuck I am. I still have time to decide."

"The clock's ticking, Jagger. Tick, tock." He moves his finger back and forth as he shuts the lights with his other hand. "Now go on, get going and leave the attitude at home."

I start my truck and put it in gear, not sure where the hell I'm headed. Fuck, I want to see Allie so bad. All our communication over the last week has been over text messages, and she's always short and clipped. For reasons I don't understand, she refuses to see me. She hasn't taken one of my calls or bothered to call me back.
Why the hell hasn't she called me?

I had her car checked over and repaired while she slept. Before I left in the morning, I made sure it was sitting in front of my place, detailed and sporting four brand-new, high performance tires. She sent me a thank you text Friday morning, but that's it, the only communication she initiated. And all it said was, "Thanks. What do I owe you?"

Not one word about what happened between us the night before. Maybe she took me up on forgetting everything I said. Still, the electricity that raced through my body when we touched and kissed…she had to feel it too, didn't she?  

Since my calls go straight to voicemail, I sent her a text asking her out to dinner, but she refused. I've texted her a couple of times since asking if she's heard from Bailey. Each time she answered with one word, no. And that's it. Otherwise it's been radio silence.

Not one fucking peep from her.

She doesn't know I've had someone tailing her during the day to make sure she's safe, and that I've spent every night watching the house myself. It's been pretty uneventful. With the exception of Troy stopping by for a short while the night after Allie and I were together, no one has been there. I'm pretty sure all hell will break loose if she finds out I'm keeping tabs on her. At least I have peace of mind knowing she's safe.

Still, I'm losing my mind thinking about her. I don't know what Bailey is capable of. So far he's come up clean in all my searches. No criminal history. No violent tendencies. The boy is as boring as a manila folder. No one is that clean and boring. He'll mess up eventually. And when he does, I intend to be there.

What if it wasn't him that slashed her tires though? Then I've been off chasing a rabbit while the wolf in sheep's clothing evades me. All I can do is wait until whoever did it makes their next move, and I know there will be a next move, whether she wants to accept it or not.

Fuck. I need to stop obsessing over her. Every time I think of her, I envision that blonde hair of hers fanned out all over my pillow as she slept. She looked so sweet, so beautiful. So absolutely perfect.

I keep thinking about her, reliving every moment of our night together. Reliving her lascivious dance moves. Remembering the taste of her lips and the feel of her supple body beneath me. This is the way it's gone on all week. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, my mind keeps drifting back to Allie. 

I turn my truck around. I know where I'm going. I head onto the highway, I need to talk to someone about this. About her hot and cold behavior. I need to understand why she hasn't called and what's going through her head. There's only one person that fits this bill. Only one person I can count on to help me out. Lexi.

*

"You need to leave. Right now," Lexi says, stepping out on her front stoop and closing the door behind her.

"No deal. I need to talk to you."

"Now's not a good time," she says, opening her green eyes wide, as if she's silently trying to communicate something.

"What, you think your husband will get pissed about us spending alone time together?" I tease, inching closer to her.

"Noah's inside," she whisper yells. "You've caused enough trouble, now leave."

"Trouble? What are you talking about? C'mon, let me in."

She shakes her head. "I have company."

I turn and look out at the street. I recognize the car parked down the street about fifty feet away. It's Allie's car. Has to be her car. I didn't notice it because she’s not parked right in front of the house like I am. Now there's no way in hell Lexi's getting rid of me. I need in that house. "Great. My timing is impeccable." I flash her my I'm-not-backing-down smile.

"Seriously. You need to leave," she says, laying her hands on my chest and pushing lightly.

"Oh yeah, baby, touch me all over."

"You're such a dick." Lexi's eyes fill with tears, and I don't know what the hell is going on. She looks behind her like a little kid sneaking something they don't want their parents to see.

Before I can ask or she can go on to explain, Noah pulls the door open behind her. I hear the audible sigh as his eyes meet mine. Cold, angry eyes that are warning me, or challenging me. What the fuck?

"I was just telling Jagger this isn't a good time for him to drop by," Lexi explains as her eyes drop to the ground, like she's afraid to look at him straight on. The tension oozes off them and surrounds the three of us. This uncomfortable tension isn't just thick, it's smothering.

Hmm. Is this sex play? Did she take on the role of a sub, or is there trouble in paradise? Lexi didn't mention anything when I spoke to her last week. In fact, she sounded happier than ever. I wait for someone to let me in on the game at hand, but neither of them does. Lexi takes a step closer to her husband. A show of solidarity. There is definitely trouble in paradise.

Noah doesn't speak. He stares at Lexi with a stern look. Whatever the hell is going on, I don't like it. Lexi's nervous and uncomfortable, and I've never seen her act this way. Especially not with Noah. Now there's no way in hell I'm leaving.

If he hurt her, God help him. I feel my patience wearing thin as I'm trying to figure out what has changed between these two. I'm so focused on Lexi and her state of mind, I forget for the moment why I'm here.

"Get in the house," Noah orders, stepping around Lexi to block her with his body.

I expect her to tell him to go fuck himself and for all hell to break loose. Lexi doesn't take any shit from anyone. Except apparently from Noah. She drops her head and retreats back into the house. Seriously, What. The. Fuck?

"Is there a problem here?" I ask, not sure what I'm going to do when he answers. If he says yes, I can't turn around and leave. That would be the shittiest thing I could do. Not unless I know she's really okay.

And if Noah says no, well, then he's just plain old full of shit, and I need to stick around to make sure he doesn't do something I'll make him regret. This protective instinct that jumps to life every time a pretty woman is in distress is really starting to interfere with my easygoing, attachment-free lifestyle.

"The problem is
you
," Noah answers, spearing me with a death glare. That was unexpected. "The problem is you not leaving my wife alone." He advances on me.

"Dude, I don't know what you're talking about," I answer, holding my ground. Maybe I shouldn't be standing here with squared shoulders ready to beat the hell out him, but fool that I am, I don't know how to back down.

"Phone sex? That's why you fucking call her?" The vein on the side of Noah's neck looks like it's about to burst. He seriously looks like he's about to lose his shit. "I swear, Jagger, I don't give a fuck that you're Troy's brother. If you don't stay the hell away from my wife, I'm going to fucking--"

"Hold on, hold on." I lift my hands, palms up facing him. "I swear to you. I'm not after Lexi."

"So what the fuck was so urgent that you had to call us while we were on vacation?"

"I called her because I needed help."

"That's what Lexi said, but now I'm hearing this phone sex bullshit, I don't know what to believe."

"Believe your wife. She's crazy about you." That's not winning me any points.

"Then what the fuck are you doing here?"

"Look, I know this isn't the best time, and Lexi mentioned you have company, but if you have a few minutes, I could really use some advice."

"You could go to your brother for advice."

"Not about this." I school my features. I don't want him to know how desperate I am to get inside the house. I need to see Allie. She's so close. So fucking close. "I don't mean to crash your party. I'm just asking for a few minutes of your time."

He shakes his head and takes a step back. "Fine," he says, letting out a long, exaggerated breath. "You might as well stay for dinner. You should hear what's going on too. Your brother and Marlena will be here any minute."

This only confirms my suspicions that Allie's in the house. They just spent a shitload of time with Cooper and Selene, and I haven't heard Mickey's name at all since I've gotten back. Knowing Allie is Lexi's best friend, it only makes sense that she'd be invited to whatever soiree they planned.

My heart pounds hard against my chest, and I feel my palms sweat. I shove my hands in my pockets, not wanting to let on to the turmoil swirling around inside me. I'm especially not looking to give Noah an excuse to go all caveman again.

I follow him through the front door, and the sound of Allie's voice apologizing to Lexi assaults me. Punches me right in the chest. The only thing that will make this ache better is holding her in my arms again.

"I really am sorry, Lexi."

Her voice is tinged with anxiety. Hearing her speak has my heart doing this strange whirly-twirly thing while it skips a beat. I keep my eyes plastered on the back of Noah's head so I don't look in her direction.

When the hell did I get this frazzled over
anyone?
Over Allie?

I fight the urge to deviate from the path Noah's on and go say hello to her. I don't do it, because in truth, I want her to come to me. I know she's avoiding me. I laid it out for her, and even though she wanted whatever happened between us, she was vulnerable and I'm concerned she thinks I took advantage of her.

I'd find it much easier to be patient if I knew for sure she'll come around. But I'm not sure. The way things are not going at the moment, I think she might never come around. I continue following Noah out the sliding glass doors in the kitchen and on to the deck in the back.

"It's really nice back here," I say, leaning against the rail on the deck.

"We like it," he answers, opening a cooler next to the grill, pulling out two bottles of beer, and extending one to me. "It's close enough to everyone we love, commutable to the city, and still far enough away from our neighbors to give us privacy."

"Thanks." I say, opening the bottle.

"So what's your problem?"

I take a deep breath. Am I really going to hand my man card over to Noah and tell him how I feel about Allie? Shit, I am. I need help navigating through this. I just won’t let on that it's her, not right away at least.

I lift the bottle to my lips and let the liquid slide down my throat.

"What convinced you to go for it with Lexi?"

"How do Lexi and I have anything to do with your problem?"

I take a deep breath. "There's this girl."

"Always is," he sniggers.

"Okay, the thing is, I have ideas about something happening with her. Something real. But I know I shouldn't be thinking these things about her..."