Make Me Yours (4 page)

“You shouldn’t.”

“But I do. I’d have been incredibly jealous, but I would have liked to see you happy with him. He had to have been a wonderful man if you married him.”

“We were happy. That’s what matters. I plan on being happy again.” She paused and looked away. Then she looked back at him. “I feel happy now. I don’t want you to keep feeling like this.”

He smiled sadly. “I’ll work on it.”

She touched his hand. “Thank you.” She pulled away after a moment. “Now back to my question, please.”

“It’s simple. I was an idiot. I thought you would think I wasn’t serious. Or worse, if I kept insisting and aggressively pursuing you, I thought you’d believe all I wanted was sex. It would have been horrible. I couldn’t imagine having you think that.”

“So you didn’t think I would believe you cared for me as more than a passing bedmate?”

He nodded. “Basically.”

“I would have thought I was dreaming.”

The waitress approached the table with two plates loaded down with chocolate.

“Here you go. Enjoy!”

Susan stared at the plate in front of her. A dome of chocolate cake was covered in chocolate ice cream, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. A generous portion of chocolate chips covered the entire concoction.

“What have you gotten us into?” she asked.

He reached under the table and touched her knee. “We’ll see soon enough.” He ran his fingers a few inches up her thigh and then pulled back.

She shivered and felt her pussy clench at his touch. Her body had been having that reaction a lot the past two days. If he kept that up, he’d have her wet again. “Yes, we will.” She picked up her spoon and tried to decide how to attack the dessert before her. She tried the cake first. Her eyes went wide when she tasted it.

“Good?” Erik asked with a sly smile.

“Yes. Oh my god, I have never tasted anything like this!”

“I remembered how much you love chocolate. That’s why I wanted to meet here.”

“Good choice.”

They didn’t talk for several minutes as they ate. Susan didn’t see how anyone could notice a single thing happening in the rest of the world while eating this dish.

“So, we were both afraid of the same thing,” she finally said once she’d gathered her thoughts. “Because of our age difference, we hesitated.”

He put his spoon down. “Yes. I’ve regretted it ever since. I meant what I said. I think I’ve said it several times by now. I never forgot about you. Never stopped wishing I had at least tried.”

“You’re certainly trying now.”

He pushed his plate aside and moved his chair closer to hers. He took her hand. “I am. And I won’t give up without a fight.”

She laughed. “I doubt it will come to that.”

He rubbed the back of her hand. “Just wanted to make sure you know how hard it’s going to be to get rid of me.”

“I won’t want to do that.”

He seemed to want to say something more, but he only smiled at her.

Did he have something to tell her? Something that might change her feelings? Was there something in his past she didn’t know about? Did he have any children? An ex? Something else?

She smiled back and let all those thoughts evaporate. She was happy, and she didn’t have any reason to believe anything could ruin that.

* * * *

Erik tightened his grip on Susan’s waist as she stirred beside him. They’d stretched out on the couch to watch a movie together, and she’d fallen asleep in his arms. He’d kept still beside her, occasionally rubbing her side when she stirred or sighed. Her ass rubbing over his cock from time to time had been tormenting, but he’d enjoyed lying on the couch holding her in his arms and breathing in her scent.

“Mmmm. I have a chocolate hangover,” she mumbled as she turned in his arms to face him.

“Yes, you probably do. I shouldn’t have introduced you to such decadence.”

She rubbed her eyes for a moment and then smiled at him. “I didn’t mind.”

She brought her lips to his, and he didn’t resist the contact. She tasted as sweet as she had the night before. She opened up to him, and the kiss deepened. He tightened his grip on her, and she responded hungrily. When she sighed as their lips parted, the need to be inside her became overwhelming. He planted light kisses across her cheeks before kissing her mouth again. He ran one hand over her breasts, and she began unbuttoning her blouse. He pulled back slightly to look at her.

Her heavy breathing made her breasts move up and down seductively, enticing him to touch them. He traced the edge of each of her bra’s cups with his fingers. He moved his fingers under one of the cups and toyed with her already hard nipple. When she arched against him, he rolled the nipple between his fingers. He pushed the fabric away so his mouth could replace his fingers. She gasped as he ran his tongue around it and ran her fingers into his hair and sighed again.

“Erik.”

He captured her mouth once more and moved his hands lower to rub her ass. When she pressed her body closer and rubbed against his cock, a thought stopped him cold. He groaned and pulled away from her. “I think you’re going to kill me.”

“What?” Confusion clouded her face.

“I don’t have any condoms.”

“You don’t?”

He shook his head. “No. This has all happened so suddenly, I didn’t think to buy any.”

She nodded slowly, but then she smiled. “Well, at least I’m not just your latest conquest.”

“Of course you aren’t, Susan. I’m sorry. I didn’t plan on us coming back here today.” He sighed. “I guess I thought I had more time to, uh, prepare.”

“It’s okay, Erik. Better you remembered now.”

They both sat up, and she began rearranging her bra and buttoning her blouse. He had to say something.

“Susan?”

“Yes?”

She didn’t seem upset, but he wanted to explain. “Of course, there are plenty of things we could…well…do right now, but part of my plan of doing this ‘right’ is making love to you properly. Does that make sense? Any moment can turn romantic, or even erotic, but I want our first time to be special, not a fumbling make out session on the couch. I hope that doesn’t sound silly.” He touched her hand. “I’m very keen to make love to you in every room of this house, but I’d prefer to work up to that stage. As much as I want you, I don’t want to do anything wrong.”

She’d lowered her eyes, and when she looked back at him he thought he saw a few tears there. “I’m a little disappointed, but that’s absolutely the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I’m not so sure that’s really true,” he said, though he was very pleased with the compliment. “If you’re upset you can tell me.”

“Erik, I’m serious.” A tear did fall from her right eye, and she wiped it away. She kissed him on the cheek and then looked into his eyes. “You aren’t a decadent rake.”

He started to respond, but she put one finger on his lips to silence him. Then she smiled. “You’re the most perfect gentleman I’ve ever met.”

“I’m not sure you’ll say that after the second time we’ve made love.”

She laughed seductively. He wanted her so much, but he truly wanted everything perfect for their first time.

“Really? Is that when I get to meet the man with the scandalous reputation?”

“Perhaps.”

She moved away a little and folded her legs under her on the couch. “So why don’t you tell me all about it? Hmmm?”

“About what?” Was she really asking what he thought she was asking?

“Your reputation. What’s true? What isn’t?”

“Depends what you’ve heard.”

“How many women have you slept with?”

He tried to calculate quickly. He hadn’t anticipated that question, and he didn’t want to take too long answering her. “About fifteen. I lost my virginity when I was seventeen.”

She nodded. “Luke and Mark are the only men I’ve ever slept with. I told you how things turned out with Luke, and you know how they turned out with Mark.”

“That does make me look like a bit of a rake, you have to admit.”

“Maybe. Fifteen women in twenty-three years? That’s not so scandalous. Any one-night stands?”

“Yes. Two.”

“I’m sure you were always careful.”

“Yes. No babies. No diseases. I was lucky those two times. They weren’t strangers, but they also weren’t women I had any real interest in. Both times were pure lust, I hate to admit.”

“Did you have sex with more than one woman at a time?”

He tried not to smile. “Do you mean a threesome?”

She laughed and blushed. “Oh, god no! I meant did you sleep with anyone while you were with someone else?” She laughed again. “But I’d like that question answered as well.”

“No threesomes. Thought about it, but in the end it didn’t have that much appeal. When I make love with a woman, I’m completely focused on her.” He cleared his throat. “Though my emotions weren’t always one hundred percent invested. I sort of regret that. I think I probably hurt a few of them, though they were all too kind to say so.”

“I can’t speak for them, but I think they knew you didn’t mean to hurt them.”

“I wish I could be so confident. I’d say they were kinder to me than I was to them.” He got up and went into the kitchen. “Would you like a drink?”

“How about some wine?”

“Sounds wonderful.” He opened the bottle slowly, gathering his thoughts. He was on the verge of a premature confession, and he wanted to back himself up enough that he wouldn’t let it slip.

He handed her a glass and took a sip of his own before sitting down beside her again. “And yes, unfortunately, I did once start sleeping with a girl while I was still with someone else.”

Susan nodded. “Okay.”

“Just okay?”

“It’s not so different from the experiences of other unmarried men.”

“So it’s best I didn’t get you involved in all that.”

“You think I would have gotten hurt?”

“I think that’s what scared me, made me hesitate. I don’t think I could have lived with myself.”

She laughed nervously. “Oh, Erik, don’t get so serious.”

“And my response to you is don’t get scared because I’m getting so serious.”

“I just meant I don’t want you to feel bad, or upset. Or worried in any way.”

“Why not? I want to be honest and open. This is an important conversation.”

“It is, but…” She shrugged. “I don’t know. Never mind.”

“Don’t ever say never mind with me. I’ll be honest about anything.” He paused, but she only nodded. He wanted to know what was going to come after that “but.” Did she think they shouldn’t discuss such serious things yet? Did she not want him to remind her that he was looking for a commitment? Yet he felt like asking would make the situation awkward, so he let it pass and smiled at her. He rubbed her arm as encouragement. “Is that all you wanted to ask me?”

“For now.” She put her wine down. “Actually, one more question.”

“Yes?”

“Well, you don’t have any condoms in the house. I’m going to assume that was never the case ten years ago. Do you think you’ve changed since those days?”

“I know I have. I’m not going to make the same mistakes again.”

“How long since your last relationship?”

“About two years, actually.”

“And no one at all since then? Not even just sex?”

He shook his head. “No. As incredibly interested as I am in sex, I want more. I want something that will be a complete contrast to everything that came before.” If he told her the absolute truth, which he was not quite ready to do, he’d only had sex with three women in the past decade. He knew in his heart it was because of her. He’d realized back then that she deserved a man whose past would never come back to haunt him. He’d tried three times to fall in love again and forget her. It hadn’t worked.

“So not ravishing me on our first date is part of that?”

He saw a hint of a smile on her lips, and he nodded. “Yes. You have no idea how hard it is to control myself every single moment.”

She laughed, as he’d hoped she would. “Well, then,” she said, taking his same jovial tone, “I’ll try not to torment you too much.”

“I doubt you’ll succeed completely.”

“You’ll have to forgive me then.” She ran a finger down his arm. “Or punish me.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I’ll keep those options in mind.” He stretched his arm across the back of the couch and touched her cheek. “I’m looking for love, Susan. I’m very confident I won’t be disappointed.” He actually bit his tongue. If he told her he loved her, he’d be putting far too much pressure on her. Besides that, he didn’t want to declare his love two minutes after spilling his sexual history. It seemed very unromantic to him, and he couldn’t imagine it being appealing to any woman.

“I don’t think you will be.” She reached for her purse. “I think I better go. Thank you for being so honest with me.”

They stood up, and he walked her to the door. “Thank you for not running away. My past isn’t scandalous, but it isn’t that pretty either.”