Make A Wish (Dandelion #1) (7 page)

“Who knows? Can’t really answer for his actions, but if I ever see him again, I’ll be sure to ask him for you.” I snickered.

“You better, my preggo friend!”

And as expected, let the names begin.

***

I dialed and waited, the phone ringing and ringing. Just as I was about to hang up, I heard the familiar voice on the other end.

“Ziggy’s diner, home of the french fried cheeseburger! What can I get for you today?” Jack’s cheerful voice seeped into the earpiece. With I deep breath, I braced myself before speaking, undoubtedly expecting the worst.

“Hey Jack, it’s me, Juliette.”

“Long time no see, Jules. How are you doing?” His voice was more sarcastic and harsh than even I had expected, but I guess I didn’t blame him either.
His

“About that, I was wondering if you had a moment to talk tomorrow? I’ve been going through some stuff lately and I feel like I owe you an explanation as to why I’ve flaked out on work.” But what can you really say to your boss who you’ve left hanging for weeks? Nothing, right?

“Yeah, that’s fine. Just come in any time tomorrow. I’ll be working the whole day.” His voice was softer and not a trace of irritation could be heard in his words; it kind of surprised me.

“Thank you so much, Jack. I’ll see you tomorrow.” But before I could hang up, he surprised me once again.

“Jules, I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried about you.” With that small admission, there was no holding back the gasp that escaped me. “Well, I’ll see you sometime tomorrow.” And with a click, just like that, I was left alone to ponder over the new direction my life was suddenly going.

I pulled out the journal and stationary that I’d bought the day before. For the first time in my life, I began to write a love letter, one to the person who held the key to my future. The words flowed through me like a waterfall and it took everything in me to suppress the moisture that stung my eyes.

Dear Baby,

It’s been a couple days since I found out I was pregnant with you. To say I was shocked is a complete understatement.

How can I possibly be a good mother when I don’t know the first thing about them? I was never taught what was right and what was wrong. I barely remember my real parents, and every parental figure I had after they passed did and said things that caused me to lose respect for adults and even myself.

I can’t remember a time that I ever let the possibility of having a family enter my mind. I just never thought that I, of all people would one day have that.

I’m more blessed than I thought I was because although we don’t know each other yet, in the end of the day I have you. You give me reason to hope and dream, to look forward to the future.

Because I know someday you will ask, I figured I’d take the chance to talk about your father, Beau. We didn’t know each other well. In reality, we were practically strangers, but something about him drew both of us together. He treated me like I was royalty, the only girl in the world. I was in disbelief that someone so handsome would like me, an average blond waitress with an authority complex. But he did. We danced together and he walked me home. Before I knew it, our affection for each other had spilled over, creating you. My little miracle.

I am not sure whether I’ll ever see your father again, but for your sake I hope I do. I want you to grow up with both of your parents in your life. And although our time together was short, I know that Beau is a kind man with a very big heart.

I imagine it won’t be easy for me but the minute I found out about you, my needs became second. You will always be my priority and I promise to strive everyday to give you the life that you truly deserve.

I love you already.

Xoxo, Mommy

As soon as I’d finished the letter, I closed up the journal and tucked it under my pillow. Pulling out the stationary with the pink and blue stars scattered around the border, I began a much more difficult letter. I had hopes that I could tell Beau face to face, but in the off chance I wuss out—which I’ve been known to do on occasion—at least I could leave him the note.

Dear Beau.

I’m not sure whether you remember me or not, because our time together was rather brief. In case you don’t, this is me Jules, the waitress that works at Ziggy’s Diner.

I don’t normally sleep with guys I’ve just met, so when you left, I was hurt and caught off guard. It took me a bit to realize that all there was between us was a one night stand. Nothing more.

I don’t regret it happening because I learned a lot about myself from that experience so instead I would like to Thank You.

If you are free, I’d like to set up a time to meet up and talk in person. There’s something I would like to discuss.

Thanks,

Juliette

I felt as if my heart was breaking with every word I wrote in the letter to Beau. I wanted to believe there was nothing between us, but deep down I knew I felt something. What it was, I had no idea, but it was there. I didn’t know why it was so hard for me to get over him. It probably didn’t help that I was carrying a part of him deep inside of me. In contempt of how I felt inside, I knew I had to find a way to let go of my emotional tie to him, but how?

***

I sat in a small room that looked eerily similar to the room I was in a few days earlier, when my world completely shifted. The only difference was that this room was in a completely separate wing of the hospital. Saylor was at work, so to my utter dismay, I was there all alone and on the verge of freaking out. The more I learned about being pregnant, the more I realized how clueless I was about the entire thing.

“Hi, Juliette. My name is Katie Hummel. I’ll be doing your ultrasound today.”

Katie was a petite younger woman who seemed just a tad older than myself. She stood off to the side prepping the equipment for use. She had mocha colored hair that was tied back into a neat and tidy bun.

“According to your file, this is your first pregnancy. Congrats!”

Her smile lit up her face as if she’d known me forever and was truly and completely happy for me. The sincerity stupefied me; it was a quality rarely possessed by most people. I was suddenly grateful to have such a nice person doing my ultrasound.

“Since your Hcg levels show that you’re early on in your pregnancy, our best bet is to do the ultrasound transvaginally.”

Katie went on to explain the procedure to me and I constantly found myself more stunned with each word she spoke. I was expecting them to rub some gel on my stomach, like in the movies, and then voilà, the baby magically appears on the screen in front of me. Unfortunately, it seemed I wasn’t that lucky; the ultrasound probe was going to enter my girly parts and all.

After the cursory surprise had worn off, I was instructed to lay back and look up at the screen to the side of me. Before I knew it, an image of my insides was displayed like a billboard for all to see.

“That right there,” Katie said, pointing at a small white blob on the screen, “is your little one.”

Within a matter of seconds, I was a blubbering mess, my heart surging with love and pride for the little jellybean residing in the very depths of me.

“It looks as if you are about 6 weeks along. It’s a little early to see or hear the heartbeat—sometimes at this stage it’s prominent, other times it takes longer to appear. Totally normal.”

After the probe was removed, I slid from the table and threw my arms around Katie. I knew that it was her job to assist me with this, but it meant the absolute world. Even though I knew I had a baby in me, this opened my eyes just that much more.

“Thank you. Really, you have no idea how much this means to me.” The technician hugged me back, truly overjoyed at the display of excitement.

“My pleasure, Juliette. I’m so happy for you. I can already tell what a wonderful mother you will be.”

JULIETTE

I walked into
Ziggy’s
and sat at the front counter, in the exact same spot that Beau had sat in when I first laid eyes on him. I’d only been waiting a few minutes when Jack came around the corner and spotted me. He dropped off a couple plates piled high with food at the nearest customers’ table, then came and sat beside me.

“Long time no see, Jules.”

The genuine concern in his eyes surprised me, once again.

“Yeah. I know. Can we go outside and talk? It’s more private out there.” I glanced around the room, noticing my former co-workers looking rather nosy and listening a little too intently to the barely started conversation between us. It was more private outside and as far as I was concerned, they could keep their nose out of my business.

“Sure.”

We both stood and walked out the front door, stepping into the chilly Los Angeles winter breeze. After we’d seated ourselves at a small black table with a red and white striped umbrella draping above us, I took a deep breath and began, my heart feeling as if it was racing at the speed of lightning.

“I’m sorry that I’ve flaked out on you the past month and a half. I don’t want to make excuses for my behavior because I know that it wasn’t right but I feel like you deserve an explanation.”

I looked into his eyes, expecting to see judgment and anger, possibly irritation too, but I didn’t, making it a tad easier to continue the mini-speech I’d prepared on my drive over.

“I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life. I don’t tell anyone about it because I know there are others who go through much more difficult times than I do, and frankly I don’t want to see all the looks of pity from them. These past weeks, I was going through a depression fall, a pretty bad one at that. What really got me out of it was when I learned I’m pregnant. It was because I found out that I knew I needed to come here and talk to you. Please don’t think I’m trying to guilt you into letting me keep my job; that isn’t the case whatsoever. I just felt like you of all people deserved the truth. If you decide you don’t want me here, I will understand completely.”

I closed my mouth abruptly before I could babble on even further with details that he really didn’t need to know. The silence unfortunately dragged on much longer than I would’ve liked.

Jack cleared his throat and gathered his thoughts before speaking. “Jules. As far as I’m concerned, the job was always yours. Everyone goes through hard times, and though I wasn’t thrilled by the shortage of staff, I do understand.”

“Why are being so nice to me right now? I don’t deserve all your kindness.”

“Jules, not only do you deserve it but I can tell that right now, you desperately need it. It’s not my place to judge you for the things you’ve done. Hell knows my past is riddled with mistakes.” He smiled so big, it drew a laugh from me for the first time in what felt like ages. “With that being said, I should probably get back to work but I’ll see you Friday for the morning shift.”

As he stood to go, he swiftly turned around and pulled me into a hug, leaning closely to my ear. “Congratulations on the little munchkin! That’s big news.”

Just as Jack turned to go inside, I remembered another important reason for coming here.

“Wait, Jack. I have one more thing to ask you.”

He turned to face me. The expression on my face must have been more obvious than I’d thought because somehow I’d managed to give him a look that stopped him in his tracks. “Yes?”

“I was wondering if you knew how I could get in contact with B-Beau.” I was surprised at how hard it was for his name to pass through my lips, but it’d managed to come out more in a stammer than anything else. I urged the newfound tears to stay away but despite all my attempts, it was futile. They appeared anyways.

“Damn.” Jack shook his head as I looked to the ground, avoiding his questioning gaze. “It’s him isn’t it? He’s the father.” The words were just above a whisper, just loud enough for my ears to catch it. It wasn’t how I wanted him to find out and I definitely hadn’t expected him to guess so easily.

“Please… Please don’t tell him. I need to tell Beau myself. It wouldn’t be right for someone else to break this kind of news to him.”

I pleaded with Jack to understand though in my heart I felt really shitty for asking him to keep something
this
big from his friend.

“I care about Beau more than I should despite what went down between us and as hard as it will be to tell him, I want him to know about our child.” I willed the tears away and replaced it with a fierce boldness. My shoulders held back and my head stood tall, despite what I was feeling inside. Just because I normally broke under pressure, it didn’t mean that at that moment I had to. And I wouldn’t.

Jack didn’t respond but walked back inside the diner. I stood dumbfounded in the wake of his absence and never thought he’d just walk away. As I was turning to leave, he emerged from the diner doors and handed me a piece of paper, his chicken scratch writing scribbled across it.

“This is Beau’s address. If I see him first, I’ll let him know you were looking for him. I promise I won’t tell him about your—err situation. Trust me, the last thing I want to do is get caught up in whatever is between you two. Good luck, Jules. See you Friday.”

When would Jack stop catching me off guard? I didn’t dislike it but it was certainly strange.

As I was walking to my car, a little fluffy ball caught the corner of my eye. Wedged in between the parking meter and a crack in the sidewalk sat the cutest and daintiest little dandelion. It amazed me that something so small and magical could find a way to grow with very little to no nature surrounding it, only the hustling and bustling of the city.

I bent down, fingering the little fuzzy weed of a flower. Dandelions had always been my favorite flowers—though most people considered them weeds—ever since before I can remember, all thanks to my mother.

“Mama, look!”

I bent down in a field of tall straw-like grass. I picked the fuzzball from the ground and held it up to her in amazement. I’d never seen one before and it was so pretty.

My mom stood tall and proud, looking down at me with her blond hair blowing in the breeze
—
her face nothing more than a blur in the sunlight.

She bent beside me, placing her hand on my back, the other one gripping my hand that held the little flower.

“What is this?” I asked her.

“Jules, this is a dandelion. A dandelion is a small fluffy flower that has the magic to make any dream come true. After you close your eyes and make a wish, you blow gently on the little ball. The wind will carry the little pieces off into the world, planting seeds for your dream to become true.”

“Can I make a wish? Can I make a wish?” I bounced on the tips of my toes, readying myself and trying with all my might to think of a wish worthy of all the magic that the little fuzzball held.

“Of course, sweetie. Close your eyes.” I did as she instructed. “Think of your one wish. When you’re ready, blow as hard as you can, thinking
only
of that wish.”

I closed my eyes tightly and blew.

I climbed into my car, leaving the small dandelion alone. I could feel my heart beating faster with the memory of something that I hadn’t thought of in years.

Los Angeles was a city full of people who’re chasing after their deepest desires, but just maybe, someone else would stumble across the magical flower and need it more than I did.

***

I had been driving for awhile when my GPS led me onto a deserted dirt road. Just as I was about to turn around, I came upon a small reservation, hidden off in the middle of nowhere. Very private. The entire place looked like a community straight out of a Stepford Wives catalog mixed with that whole fairy tale vibe.

There was only one road that led throughout the reserve and I noticed it wrapped around the entire community before leading back out the same road that I’d come in on. Brightly colored houses lined each side of the paved streets and roses, dandelions, and daisies of every color grew all around. My breath caught in my throat as I took in the magical nature of the place before me.

I continued on until I finally reached the address that Jack had given me.             
Of course he’s rich and has the biggest house in the community.
I sighed before climbing out of my car, my small black purse tucked tightly under my arm. I slid through the white picket fence that surrounded the outside of his home. My eyes took in the perimeter of his almost mansion sized four story home, which was probably the most enchanting of all of the ones I’d seen.

The exterior was painted a very bright white that looked as if it sparkled in the sunshine. The window shutters appeared to be a dark midnight black. A wooden swing hung from the porch overlooking the front yard.

I always had imagined someday living in a house like that, drinking sweet tea from mason jar glasses. Now, I could imagine my child running and playing in the grass, maybe even with a small puppy as company. Maybe someday we’d have that but it wouldn’t be here and it certainly wouldn’t be with Beau.              

I shook my head as if that would help clear the fantasies that swarmed in the depth of my mind, but it didn’t do much to appease the thoughts.

I took another deep breath—which I’d been doing an awful lot of lately—and braced myself to knock. The sound of my knuckles knocking on the hard wood was the only noise to be heard around. My heart felt as if it would jump from my chest at any second.

The anticipation of seeing the man who I wanted to despise but couldn’t wracked through my body and every movement I made. I stood and waited, but no one answered.

Figuring that maybe he couldn’t hear it throughout his abnormally large house, I knocked even louder and much harder. Still no answer came. I pulled the letter from my purse along with a slip of paper containing my phone number and placed it on the wooden swing before turning and climbing into my car, exiting out in the same fashion I arrived... With my dignity.

My heart continued to race, all nerves on point. But they wouldn’t slow and definitely weren’t returning to normal. Doubt encompassed me as I thought of him reading the note and never calling. Why would he? He got everything that he had wanted at the time—my body.

***

Juliette: I left a note for Beau.

Saylor: No way! Are you sure that’s the right choice?

Juliette: 4 me? No. 4 my baby? Yes.

Saylor: Ok, w/e u say. Wanna get lunch tomorrow?

Juliette: Yes!

Saylor: c u then.

Juliette: K.

MILES

Miguel and I pulled up to Juliette’s apartment at promptly seven pm. It was pitch black outside and there wasn’t another car or person in sight, which was rather unusual for Hollywood. Who was I to complain though? It was perfect.

A smug grin spread across my face as I watched all the pieces click together and fall into place. This had been a long time coming.

“This is gonna be like taking candy from a baby.”