Make A Wish (Dandelion #1) (3 page)

JULIETTE

I had to keep reminding myself to breathe. Being this close to him and having his arms wrapped around me took my breath away, succeeding in turning my brain to mush. Touching him felt better than I could have imagined and I never wanted it to end.

It took me a few minutes to register that the music had faded into a fast paced techno song, and we stood still, our arms never leaving each other.

“You wanna take a walk?” He bent down and whispered into my ear, his breath lingering, sending shivers down my spine.

I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I nodded. As we were getting ready to walk out of
Rush
, I pulled back. “One second.”

I stepped away and ran over to Saylor, who was manning the bar. She was pouring drinks and dealing with the drunken stupidity of customers who couldn’t hold their liquor and was doing a pretty great job at it, from what I could tell.

“Beau and I are going to go for a walk. You don’t mind do you?”

“Not at all, just be safe.” She winked, smiling and bouncing up and down.

“It won’t go that far, Say. It’s just a walk.”

“I meant, bring your pepper spray. Geez, get your mind out of the gutter, Jules.” She giggled as I rolled my eyes at her and gave her a quick side hug.

Beau stood propped against the exit door as I walked back up to him. “Kay, we’re good to go.”

The step outside brought a plethora of fresh air into my lungs and I relished in the ability to breathe normally again. The bar smells always got to me, though I’d never tell Saylor that.

“Where to?” Beau asked as I led the way down the block, away from the loud noises echoing throughout the still night.

“My apartment is only a couple of blocks from here. I can come back for my car tomorrow. That is, if that’s okay with you?” The minute the words left my lips, I regretted it. I realized that I was essentially asking some man who I barely knew to come back with me to my apartment. “Shit.”

Thank god for pepper spray.

“Jules, it’s okay, really. I can just walk you to the door.”

My tense shoulders relaxed at his words and I smiled up at him as he laced his fingers with mine. “Thank you, Beau.” We walked in silence for a few minutes longer before I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Why did he want alone time with me? “So, what did you want to talk about?” Straight to the point.

I took in the scenery around us as we walked, waiting for him to answer. Building after building lined every street in not only this neighborhood, but all of Los Angeles. People bustled around, going in and out of shops and restaurants. There was even the occasional homeless person sitting on the side of the road holding up a cardboard sign. While LA wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, I loved it here and never wanted to leave. I’ve grown accustomed to the city life, and it felt like home.               Beau finally broke the silence, bringing me out of my thoughts. The pad of his thumb rubbing circles on the palm of my hand only had me further aching to feel his hands running up and down my body.

What is it about Beau that makes me just want to throw myself at him? Ughh.

“I like you, Jules. I don’t have a clue as to why but I do, I mean you’re hu… Um, you’re not the type of girl I usually go for.”

“I see.”
What the hell does that mean? What kind of girls does he go for then?

BEAU

We walked in silence for what felt like a very long walk, but couldn’t have been more than five minutes. I almost blew it. I almost told her that I don’t normally go for human girls. One moment with her and I almost endangered my entire pack.

What am I doing?

We finally came upon Jules dilapidated apartment building. The battered and crummy complex looked as if one big storm would bring the whole place crashing down. Weeds overran the yards and snaked up the side of the exterior walls. The stairs that led to the upper floors were crooked, each step hanging at a different angle than the one before it.

The girl I felt I knew deserved better than to live in this kind of building but it wasn’t my place to say anything, so I didn’t.

I had every intention of walking Juliette to her door, maybe stealing a kiss and walking away, leaving her for good. It’s what was best for both of us. But once she unlocked her door, she caught me off guard, pulling my body against hers, her lips reaching for mine.

Kissing her was better than anything I could have imagined. I’d take her sweet, soft lips over anything, any day. She pulled me inside her entryway, never breaking the kiss, opening her mouth enough to allow me entrance. As my tongue laced around hers, a soft moan escaped her lips, further pressing my arousal against her lower stomach.

I pulled back, resting my forehead against hers, both of us breathing heavy, needy for air.

“Are you sure?” I asked as I looked into her piercing blue eyes.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Her words were shaky but quickly replaced with confidence. She pulled my mouth back against hers as her hands made their way through my hair, sending a shiver down my spine. I kicked the door closed behind us and walked her back to the bed in her one room apartment, my lips never leaving hers. I laid her gently on her back, my large form enveloping hers.

What am I doing? This feels right but it’s wrong.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” I can’t take advantage of this girl, no matter how much I’m enjoying the closeness and the smoothness of her skin.

“Beau… Please.” Her voice was small and needy, as her eyes pleaded for to me to continue. Looking at her, I knew the ache she was feeling, because I was feeling it too. Every part of me was saying to continue, my wolf for once in agreement.

How could I deny what felt right for both of us?

“Okay.”

She winked at me as I gave in, pulling me back into her arms, resuming where we left off. Within a moments glance, we’d shed all forms of clothing, exploring each others’ bodies.

I couldn’t place what was happening between us, though the attraction was strong. Every touch ignited something beneath the skin. I longed for Juliette’s touch to linger just a bit longer; it was never enough and I craved more. Our bodies molded perfectly together and I adored how her body reacted to my touch. The look of passion in her eyes proved that she felt it every bit as much as I did. Every touch, kiss, and embrace left us both breathless.

We spent the night as if a magnet held us together, inseparable. I made love to her as if she was a gentle flower that would break under the pressure of a strong wind. I’d never have enough of her, and that fact scared me.

***

Lying beside Juliette as she slept in my arms only made me feel guiltier. I undoubtedly adored every second spent with her, but deep down I knew it was a mistake.

Jules had surprised me by pulling me inside and I shouldn’t have continued when I originally had stopped, I should have been the bigger person. Tonight would be the only night I would ever share with her; come morning, I would be gone.

As Alpha it is my job to protect my people. Being with Jules not only puts them at risk, but also her. There are other wolves whose job is to hunt down and exterminate the humans who are aware of our existence. Not to mention, it’s eating away at me knowing there is no possible future ahead of us, together.

Just simply spending time with her will break both of our hearts in the process and, if I leave now, I know it’ll save her a lot of pain in the long run.

I looked down at the beautiful blonde, memorizing her every feature and admiring her beauty. It just might kill me to leave her.

Knowing in the future there would probably be another man who’d bring her happiness brought an insufferable agony to me, and my wolf agreed.

This moment between us was just a fleeting memory. A once in a lifetime kind of ecstasy. I’d always remember her and our beautiful time together, and I hoped for nothing but happiness and joy for her, for the rest of her life.

I slowly slid from Juliette’s embrace, making sure not to wake her in the process. I recovered my clothes scattered on the floor and dressed silently. With one last kiss on her forehead, I slipped out the door.

I jogged down the stairs, glancing around to make sure no one was in sight, before I phased mid-sprint into my wolf form, leaving everything behind. I was gone long before the sun began to rise.

JULIETTE

I woke with a big smile on my face, daylight peeking through the blinds of my apartment, making itself known. I sat up and stretched, reaching my arm out to the space where Beau slept, only to realize it was empty.

I live in a small one room studio apartment, and I knew the moment I realized he wasn’t beside me that he was gone. I didn’t have to leave the confines of my bed to know that I probably would never see him again.

The morning had already started off like complete and utter crap. I was just not in the mood to face the day and any of the people that came with it.

I was lucky that I could function normally most days, but today wasn’t one of them. I needed to sulk, scream, cry. Anything to feel better after sleeping with a man who didn’t have the balls to face me afterwards, who just up and left after getting what he wanted from me. My body.

I felt bad for thinking those thoughts about him, but after the night and morning I’d already had, I felt like a day of wallowing and loathing was well deserved.

I reached over to pick up my phone and dial, knowing the voice that would answer on the other end.

“Ziggy’s Diner, home of the french fried cheeseburger! What can I get for you today?”

“Jack, its me, Juliette.”

“Oh hey, Jules.” His voice grew cold at the realization that it was me calling. “What do you need? Wait, let me guess. You’re late?”

“No… I’m actually not feeling all that well today.” I fake coughed into the phone, hoping that he’d buy my pitiful excuse I had mustered up on a whim.

“Mm-hmm… Okay. I guess I’ll see you on Monday for your next shift.”

A feeling of triumph overcame me as I smiled to myself. “Thanks, Jack, see you then!”

Before I could hang up though, Jack cut me off. “Oh Jules, don’t be late.” And just like that, my schedule is miraculously cleared.

I crawled back under my blanket and let the tears overcome me as I drifted off into unconsciousness. Occasionally I’d wake, gorge myself with ice cream and then the process would repeat.

I was tired. I couldn’t help but think that my life was more trouble than it was worth. I couldn’t catch a break and I was tired of trying to be strong when I knew I wasn’t. I didn’t want to do it anymore. I didn’t want to be me.

I’m an orphan, no family, no life ambitions and no goals. Everyday I just focus on getting through the day, surviving. If I happen to find small spurts of happiness, I’ll take it, but it doesn’t happen often and I don’t hold my breath expecting it to happen either.

My life had never been easy. I suppose maybe the first six years or so were okay, but I only have vague memories of my parents. I’m not even sure if the people I’m remembering are actually them. For all I know, my memories could be from a movie or a stock photo from a picture frame. It’s better to not think of them at all.

I’ll never admit it to anyone but I’m angry at them, even after all these years.

I was only six when they were killed in a car accident with a drunk driver who’d run the stoplight. When the police arrived on scene, I hadn’t been hurt. Not a scratch was left on me from the accident. My mom and dad, on the other hand, hadn’t survived the impact of the crash. The moment the truck and our small car collided, they were gone. At least, that’s what I’d been told, but I really don’t remember it much.

Why couldn’t they have taken a different road? Why couldn’t they have fought harder to live? Why did they leave me with no family? And most importantly, why hadn’t I died too? Why me?

From there I went on to foster home after foster home, my foster parents only taking me in to receive the benefits that came along with me. They only ever wanted the money, money that was supposed to be used for any essentials I would need, but was used—more often than not—on beer and drugs. Each home I went to was worse than the last.

When I was seven years old, I’d tried to tell an adult where the bruises on my body came from, but with a quick brush off of the situation, it was buried. No one believed any word that came from my mouth, no matter how many times I tried to bring it to light.

I was a
liar
who couldn’t be trusted to speak the truth; that’s what I was told over and over.

Countless fractures and broken bones, even a concussion here and there, still no one questioned it. I lost what little respect I still had for adults. I lost my ability to trust.

In difficult times, my mind reverts back to my past memories. My psychiatrist told me that by giving light to those negative thoughts and feelings, I was feeding the
depression monster.

I don’t care.

In fact, I don’t give a flying fart in space, words courtesy of Saylor. I want to wallow in my own self-pity. I want to spend time just hating the world. I wanted many times to end my life, but could never bring myself to follow through with it.

Is it too much to ask for some time to be miserable? To find a way to get over myself and my pissy attitude, to move on? Everyone goes through shitty depressing moments. I’m not the exception.

This situation with Beau spiraled me further downhill than I’ve ever been before. I felt stupid for getting so worked up over a guy I’d just met. The whole thing was just so not like me.

I gave myself completely to him without the slightest idea of who he was. I felt dirty and more alone than I ever have, just proving that everything I was ever told growing up was true. With each breath I took, the world grew darker and darker. I didn’t want this life.

Days went on and the darkness never went away. Instead of feeling better, I keep feeling worse. It was almost as if I was in a sinking hole with no way out, and to me, it didn’t matter if I ever found my way out of this mess.

What’s the point? Why bother?

Weeks flew by and the knocking and consistently annoying phone calls continued, but I just couldn’t gather myself up enough to open the door or answer the phone. All I felt like doing was sleeping or crying. Crying gave me the peace I needed.

I was done feeling pain from everyone around me. All my foster parents were right about me. I was worthless and unlovable. I would never be happy and live a good life. It just wasn’t in the cards for me and I knew that now. I’ve never been a bad person but I know that I’m not a particularly good one either. I couldn’t do it anymore. I just couldn’t.

I reached over and pulled open the drawer of my small wooden nightstand, bringing my hand to grasp a bottle of pills. Uncapping the bottle, I looked inside, seeing the little pink pills sitting at the bottom.

Pills of happiness.

I tilted my head back and brought the bottle to my lips, brushing away my thoughts of doubt.
This is right.
I poured the pills into my mouth, making sure to take as many as I could fit. With a quick gulp of water, it was done, the pills sliding down my throat with ease.

SAYLOR

I’d had it.

It had been a little over a month since I spoke to Juliette despite the ungodly amount of times I tried. I dropped by her place two, sometimes three times a day. Even called and sent hundreds of texts. Nothing; all my effort in vain. I was worried.

Juliette’s car still sat outside
Rush
from the night I last saw her, when she’d walked out with Beau.
God. I can’t believe I approved of her walking off with some strange man, no matter how hot he is
. The longer I couldn’t reach her, the more my mind started fabricating possible outcomes, most of which ended horribly.

I stormed inside the office of the apartment complex that Jules lived in, my lips drawn into a permanent scowl, mentally preparing myself to face the idiots that worked there. I yanked the door open and let it swing, banging against the wall behind it.

The superintendent’s eyes grew cold as he looked me over, taking in the expression on my face, but I knew I would not be breaking. I came here to find out what the hell was going on with my friend and I’d be damned if I didn’t leave here with what I wanted.

“Give me the key to apartment 313 or I’ll tear through this place till I find it. Don’t you dare give me a hard time, Salvatore. The wrath that I can and will unleash on you will make your nightmares feel like a fantasy.”

Salvatore ran his hand through his black Justin Beiber styled locks, never taking his eyes from mine. I could almost see the hamster wheel turning in his head as I waited.

He knew me and was well aware that I was friends with Juliette. This was not an unlikely request, seeing as I was pretty much always there anyways.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Saylor, but that is against regulations. I cannot do that.”

“You
can’t
do that? Are you freaking kidding me?” I stuck out my pointer finger and stabbed him square in the middle of his chest, making sure to have his full, undivided attention. “You listen to me, and you listen to me good. My best friend, who I’ve grown up with, who’s been my
only
family since I was eight years old, hasn’t been heard from in over a month!” I could feel my temper hitting a new high but Salvatore never flinched, just continued to stare at me as if I was growing a second head or something. “What if she is lying dead or injured and
you
—” I poked him even harder than the first time, “—had the ability to help her but chose not to. It would be on
your
conscious, buddy. How could you even live with yourself?”

I couldn’t care less that I was laying it on thick, but I was desperate. I hoped that I could appeal to his conscience, and as I’d expected, he caved like an avalanche under pressure.

He reached over to the board behind his desk that hung all the apartment keys and grabbed one, then handed it to me. I took it from him, glaring right into his face as I turned to leave.

“It’s about damn time.”

***

I hadn’t imagined seeing what I saw when I stepped through Juliette’s apartment door. Though her apartment was usually a tidy mess, this was something different altogether.

Trash lined every inch of the counter and tabletops—take out containers growing mold and attracting ants and other bugs. Clothes were strewn about the apartment floor and hanging over chairs and lamps alike.

Pile after pile of used, crumpled up tissues sat atop the bed accompanied with various bottles of pills. I walked to the bed and picked up the bottles, only to notice that one was open and empty. The rest sat untouched.

I couldn’t see Juliette in sight, so I walked to the bathroom and spotted her curled up on the floor. Unconscious.

I panicked, expecting the worst as I rushed to her side, shaking her furiously over and over. “Juliette, God dammit. Wake up!” I was barely holding it together when her eyelids began to flutter open. “Oh! Thank God!”

“Hey Say… Long time no see.”

“Don’t you freaking long-time-no-see me, Jules! Where the hell have you been and why the hell haven’t you at least picked up the phone and said, ‘Oh Saylor, no need to worry, I’m not dead or anything. Talk to you in a month’? You are so freaking lucky that I love you or I just might’ve killed you.” I couldn’t keep the flood of words from spilling from my mouth. I was relieved she was okay, but my heart was still beating a mile a minute and it was all I could do to keep myself from freaking out even more.