Make A Wish (Dandelion #1) (6 page)

What have I done? I’m screwed.

“I understand completely, I just wanted to give you the choice. With that being said, since we do know that you are for sure pregnant, I would like to schedule a time tomorrow or the following day for a dating scan ultrasound. Although I can get a rough estimate of how far along you are based on the Hcg levels in your system, it doesn’t give an exact time frame, that of which the ultrasound scan can determine more accurately. Even though it might be a little early to see all that much, the ultrasound techs should be able to see enough. Will that be okay?”

“Y-yeah… That’s fine,” I stammered.

“Great. I’ll set up the appointment and you’ll get an exact time and date as soon as you’re released. Congratulations and good luck with everything.”

Dr. Reinhart smiled her most genuine smile and then walked out the door, surely to tend to the large amount of other patients still waiting.

***

We barely stepped into my apartment when I collapsed into a ball on the floor beside my bed. I hugged my knees to my chest and sat contemplating my situation. “How, Say? How can I, of all people, be a mother when I have never had one of my own?” Saylor was right to have had me go to the doctor but I was not happy with what I learned about myself. I was terrified. Could I even do this?

Saylor sat next to me and pulled me into her arms, letting me cry. For someone who never cried, I sure was doing it a lot lately.

“You know what I think, Jules?” she finally spoke. “I think you’ll be a pretty damn good mom. You have always had a motherly instinct and been more levelheaded than anyone I have ever known. You’ve never really had a mom or motherly figure, but I think because you haven’t had those things, you’ll aim to make sure that your baby has everything that you didn’t. In the end of the day, the biggest thing you’ll need to provide is love and I know you, Jules. The second you see the little face of your beautiful baby, you’ll be hooked. Besides, the munchkin has the greatest auntie in the whole entire universe. Can’t get much better than that!” She winked, succeeding in making me smile, a feat that only she could have done in that moment.

I knew without a doubt that I had the greatest best friend in the world. I couldn’t do this without her.

“You really think I can do it?” I asked her. Uncertainty hung in the air as I struggled with the news.

“I have no doubt. You got…” I gasped, cutting Saylor off from finishing. “What?”

“Beau… Shouldn’t he know? I mean it’s his baby, too.” Thinking of Beau nearly tore me to shreds. It brought back all the things I’d been feeling since he walked out and I didn’t want to think about him anymore, but now there wasn’t a choice.

“Psht! He left you, Jules. He just fled after you guys slept together. I mean, who even does that nowadays? What a shmuck!”

“Okay. I get that, but I mean, its just as much his kid as it is mine. We both made him or her. If the situation were reversed, I’d want to know.” Even though I argued with her, I understood where she was coming from. She was right, but she was also wrong.

“Well, I don’t think he has a right to know, but that’s just my opinion. Then again, this isn’t my child. So, do what you want to do. I love you and I want what is best for you, Jules, I hope you know that. But Beau brought on a very big, almost life-ending depression. Do you really want to keep bringing more pain into your life and that of your baby? I have to go but just think about that, please,” she begged and I nodded, letting her know that I would.

JULIETTE

I lay in bed thinking over my dilemma, and while I agreed with what Saylor thought, I knew in my heart that telling Beau about our baby was the right thing to do. I didn’t expect or want anything from him. I’ve learned over the years to not expect anything from anyone, which can sound really pessimistic, but it’s true nonetheless. Once he knew, any involvement from there on out would be in his hands, as terrifying as that was.

There was no doubt in my mind that being around him was going to be crazy hard—in fact it was pretty much the last thing I wanted to do after the way he left things—but if he wanted to be involved in our kid’s life, then I wouldn’t object to it.

I knew more than anyone how much a kid needs both of their parents and I couldn’t help but think how different my life would be now if mine hadn’t died and I’d been raised with them by my side.

For the first time since hearing about the news of my pregnancy, I placed my hand on top of my stomach and sang to my baby as I curled up in bed and closed my eyes.

My life had changed so much already, and as unexpected as this whole thing was, I was determined to savor the beautiful moments. I knew they didn’t normally come along as often as I’d like.

MILES

“If you don’t believe me, see for yourself.”

I pushed the laptop across the lab counter to my buddy, Miguel. I wasn’t lying to him and now he’d see that. He looked every bit as shocked as I felt. It wasn’t everyday you discover a half-human half-animal hybrid that just happened to also be a girl I hated more than anything. I knew I needed to do more testing to understand the depth of my discovery.

“Okay, I believe you, but what do you expect me to do about this?” Miguel asked skeptically.

“See… That’s the thing… I need your absolute word that nothing that’s said here will ever be repeated. Got it?” With a quick nod from Miguel, I continued. “We need to do more testing on Juliette Mitchell. With this information, it’s very possible we can come up with cures for fatal diseases. Not to mention the fame and money that comes with medical discoveries, a definite plus for us.”

“Okay… I’m following so far. Go on.”

Miguel and I had known each other for a while and he was known for jumping into situations that had great odds of success
and
lots of benefits. I knew he’d be the perfect one to assist me in my plans, since he could never resist temptation. However skeptic he was, the thought of the medical discovery was too intriguing for him, and he couldn’t let the opportunity slip through his fingers. Just as I had predicted.

I was also more than excited to finally get revenge on her as well, though I wouldn’t share that little bit with Miguel. Jules deserved it for all she had done to try and destroy me.

“I’ve spoken to Dr. Reinhart and she has specifically forbidden me from doing more testing on this girl, but I believe I’ve come up with a solution to work around what she said.”

JULIETTE

I woke that day feeling like a new person. Like nothing or no one could ruin my happiness. I hadn’t ever felt
true
happiness before, but considering I couldn’t wipe the silly smile from my face, I assumed that’s what it felt like.

I was still so shocked over the news but for some reason it gave me a newfound hope. I thought that Beau might have been my future but I couldn’t have been more mistaken. He played a part in creating my future and I’ll be forever grateful, but the little one growing in my currently flat stomach was
already
my reason for living.

No matter what the future held, I’d tackle it to the best of my ability. It was now my responsibility to take care of someone else’s needs before my own. I was terrified that I’d be a terrible mom, and I didn’t have a clue as to what to expect but I knew I’d do everything I possibly could to not fail my child. I’ve had too many people fail me when I needed their help the most, so as long as I lived, he or she wouldn’t go through what I had to. I had to believe that.

There are times where I feel there is a God, Guardian Angels, or some other high power, while other times I don’t see it. In this instance though, I felt deep down that there must be someone watching over me. I swallowed an entire bottle of pain pills and survived. Whoever has a hand in my life saved me and saved my baby. I have no doubt.

I was still taken aback by the thought that I’d almost killed my baby by taking those pills.
If I had succeeded, I don’t think I could live with myself.
I knew that there wasn’t a way to take it back, and it was something I’d live with for the rest of my life, but I was so thankful that it didn’t work.

“I promise, little one, that I won’t take things for granted again.” I rubbed small circles over my stomach with my thumb. “For you.”

***

I pulled up to The Grove, one of the largest shopping centers in Hollywood. I never found much time to get away, but I adored it here, especially around the holiday season.

I made my way past the ginormous decorated Christmas tree, past the Dancing with the Stars stage setup and various restaurants before finding my way to my destination. Barnes & Noble. It’s one of my favorite places, three floors where I could spend hours upon hours getting lost in the books. When I got to the top floor, I liked to treat myself to a Venti Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks.

Today, though, I didn’t have as much time as I usually did cause I was running late for my girl’s night with Saylor.
c as ..
I headed straight for the section I always chose to skip over—the one that housed all the informational pregnancy and baby books. I still couldn’t believe that I, of all people, was having a baby. I hated surprises, so the sooner I learned about what I was going to be dealing with over the next nine months, the better.

I had a feeling that, regardless, I’d just been put on a never ending rollercoaster ride that was gonna spin me up and down and all around
and
make me fat.

I’m gonna blow up like a balloon.

I stood in front of the bookshelf, looking and feeling as lost as ever. Where the hell did I even start? Which ones were the good books? I sighed as I turn to a small girl stocking the shelves. She looked to be about my age, maybe younger, and had very dark brown almost black hair that hung just below her shoulders.

“Excuse me, but do you happen to know which of these are any good? I’m really new to this whole thing,” I stammered.

“Of course! I just had a son a few months ago, so not long ago I was in the exact same position you are. Do you know what you’re having?” the girl asked me as she began pulling random baby books from the shelves.

“Um… No, not yet. I just found out, still trying to wrap my head around the whole thing. I wasn’t expecting this to happen
at
all.” If I was being totally honest, I’d admit that I was kind of freaking out, but no one besides Saylor needed to know that. I intended to put on my cyborg exterior and get through this.

“Oh, I totally get it. Being a mom is the toughest job you’ll ever love but it’s so rewarding being able to experience it. Here.” She handed the stack of books to me. Her small smile spread wide across her face. “These are the ones that seemed to have helped me the most while I was pregnant. I found I thought of an abnormal amount of questions every day of my pregnancy and these books seemed to answer all of them. I know it can be scary, but it’s all worthwhile when you finally get to meet him or her. Well, I have to get back to work but it was really nice talking with you. Good luck on it all.” She smiled politely and walked back to finish working.

I looked down at the five books in my hand and, on a whim, decided to purchase them all. It’s not everyday you’re pregnant for the first time. On the way to the checkout line, I decided to make a quick pit stop in the stationary section. I picked out a letter and envelope set with pink and blue stars sprinkled around the border, along with a gorgeous journal with the quote, “You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. -Richard Bach.” Beautiful hibiscus flowers were vividly displayed on the cover.

I never spent a lot of money, even though it’s all mine and I worked long hours to earn it. For some reason, I always felt like I was doing something wrong when I spent it. Not this time. This time I was excited and I couldn’t think of a better investment. At least I’d have an idea of what I was getting into with a baby.

***

“Are you gonna call Jack?” Saylor plopped down beside me as we watched ‘The Grinch’ while she shoved caramel coated popcorn into her mouth. The crumbs dropped down her shirt as more pieces fell into her lap.

The Grinch had been our favorite Christmas movie when we were kids. We would sneak into the group homes’ common room late at night and watch it nearly every Christmas Eve we were together. It was the only tradition we ever kept up into adulthood, and I looked forward to passing it to my child someday.

“As much as I’d rather avoid him altogether, I need my job now more than ever. I’ll probably have to beg and grovel for it back, but I’ll do it if I have to.”

“Definitely give him some puppy-dog-eye action. Poor guy won’t be able to resist that.” Saylor giggled, but I couldn’t help the sigh that left me, Beau instantly coming into the forefront of my mind.

I really tried not to think of him, but more frequently than not when I thought of the little miracle growing inside of me, it was hard not to think of him too.

“Please don’t tell me you’re thinking about
Hottie McDouche Pants
again?” Saylor  chuckled as I shot her a questioning look. How the hell did she know?

“You have a faraway look in your eyes. It’s obvious. I can totes read you like a book.”

“Damn. It’s as if you jumped into my head. Okay, fine. I
am
upset that Beau left. I won’t lie and say it didn’t basically destroy me, but I don’t regret the situation happening. I mean, how could I? It’s probably one of the best things that’s happened to me, as frightening as that is.”

“Okay, fair enough. I get that, but still, there wasn’t a better way to leave?”

I could tell that Saylor was furious and it only made me appreciate her even more. As crazy and rambunctious as she is, she is fiercely loyal and protective of those she loves. Some of her greatest attributes, I think.