Maid for the Single Dad (9 page)

A
FTER
Mac had put the kids to bed, Ellie stepped out of the French doors onto the steps that would take her to the gazebo. She wasn't sure what she was doing. She had no idea what she would say. But even though they'd had a great trip to the mall, she'd seen the bodyguards. She'd also sensed Mac's fear. He might have taken Lacy and Henry out that night, but she sincerely doubted he'd do it again.

The thought that he couldn't see that they didn't have to live in a prison wouldn't let her alone. She had lived that prison. Plus, she was trained to help women transition out of abusive homes, and everything about this family reminded her of the families she dealt with at A Friend Indeed. She'd be shirking her duties as A Friend Indeed volunteer if she didn't try to help him.

She tripped down the yellow steps and strolled past the pool. Cool night air swirled around her, indicating that a storm was probably rolling in.

Passing the patio beyond the pool, she walked along the stone path to the gazebo where she paused just in front of the two steps that would take her inside, to where Mac sat.

When she entered the gazebo he'd either think it was a coincidence that they'd gone to the same place, or he'd know she'd watched him come out here and followed him.
Which was bad on so many levels. The only way she could comfort herself was to remind herself that she was trained to help spouses transition out of bad relationships. And if he needed her…

She took the two steps up into the gazebo.

Soft music greeted her. She didn't recognize it. It wasn't pop or rock or even a well-known classical song. Soft and mellow, it reminded her of a blues melody.

“Hey.”

He glanced up at her and rose from the chaise lounge. “Hey.”

Showing him the baby monitor, she said, “I brought this so we could have a few minutes to talk.”

His eyes narrowed. “You want to talk?”

She nodded.

“So do I.”

“Then it looks like we're on the same wavelength. You go first.”

“No. You go first.”

“All right. I thought the trip to the mall went very well tonight, but I sense that you weren't comfortable and you might not do it again.”

“Ellie, this isn't a matter of me being uncomfortable. It's a matter of safety.”

“I understand that, but you can't keep your kids in a bubble forever.”

“I won't.”

She laughed lightly. “You'll try.”

“Of course, I'll try. I'm a father. It's what we do.”

“But without a mom to argue the other side for your kids, you're always going to win.”

This time he laughed. “Actually, that's what I wanted to talk about with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Tonight when I mentioned getting a permanent nanny, you seemed to get really sad. I wanted you to know that if you truly wanted the job, I'd hire you in a heartbeat. Nobody's ever been as kind to Lacy. She adores you.”

Ellie fought the tears that wanted to form in her eyes. Lacy was such an adorable little girl that Ellie couldn't believe a mother could abandon her. But soon Ellie would also abandon her. “I like her too.”

“But?”

“But I have a job that I love.”

He smiled ruefully. “That's exactly what I told myself when I saw the sad expression come to your face. You might love my kids, but you also love your Happy Maids job. And you're working your way up the corporate ladder. You're getting experience in management that will lead to security.”

She straightened her shoulders, obviously proud of her accomplishments. “I am.”

“So you need to stay where you are.”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Which means someday I won't be your boss.”

She frowned, wondering what the heck that had to do with anything. She raised her eyes until she could meet his gaze. When she did she saw the same curiosity in his expression that she felt twinkle through her every time they got close enough to touch. The sensation got worse every day because every day they seemed to grow closer emotionally.

He'd held his curiosity at bay because of their employment situation, but tonight they'd basically set it in stone that soon she wouldn't be his employee.

She swallowed. She'd never thought of that and from the look on his face he hadn't either—until tonight. Tonight with a gentle rumble of thunder mixing and mingling with
the soft music filling the gazebo, and a sweet-scented breeze wafting around them, they'd made the connection that they didn't have to ignore their attraction.

The music shifted from a spirited blues song to something soft and wistful and he stepped toward her. “I can't remember the last time I danced. I'm very adept at dodging would-be partners at charity events. But tonight is different. Tonight I'm in the mood.” He caught her gaze. “Want to dance?”

His blue eyes were soft and honest and though she knew it was foolish considering that she was still in his employ, still living under his roof, something inside her couldn't say no. She wanted this. She wanted to feel his arms around her, his chest pressed against hers, his chin resting on the top of her head. Nothing would come of it. At least not while she was in his employ. She was very strong when it came to holding the line in her relationships. Plus, he was as taken as she was by their attraction, but she had seen him pull back several times. Surely, she could trust him to pull back again, if things got too heated.

She smiled and held out her hand. He pulled her into his embrace and the whole world softened. It was everything she could do not to close her eyes and melt against him.

He nudged her a little closer.

The muscles she held so stiffly ached in protest, so she relaxed a bit.

He pulled her closer still.

And her body relented. Doing what her head had been so determined to stop, she melted against him.

“That's nice.”

“Yes.” Her voice was nothing but a thready whisper that wove into the sweet music drifting around them. The
remnants of distant thunder continued to grumble overhead, matching the muted warnings whispering through her brain.
Be careful. Be careful. Be careful.

But the warnings were soft, and as she swayed to the song, nestled against a man she was coming to care for, they grew quieter and quieter, mitigated by the other side of the argument running through her brain. Mac wasn't a man who would hurt her. She'd seen his worst when he discovered Ava in his kitchen. He'd also apologized, not rationalized that no matter what her explanation she was somehow at fault, as Sam would have done.

Thinking about Sam sent a burst of fear skittering through her, but as quickly as it manifested, it shimmied into nothing. Sam and Mac were nothing alike. In fact, she'd venture to say they were polar opposites.

Oddly, that realization scared her even more. The defenses that had been protecting her, the fears that saved her from another mistake, were being silenced around Mac. Her instincts were screaming that that was because Mac was a good man. But was he? How could she say for sure when she'd only known him a few weeks?

Suddenly Ellie realized they were no longer dancing. The music still drifted around them but they stood perfectly still. Her hand tucked in his. His arm comfortable at her waist. Their chests a breath away from each other. Their eyes locked.

“I won't hurt you.”

Had he read her mind? Was she that transparent?

She whispered, “I know.”

“So don't be afraid.”

“I'm trying.”

“That's all I ask.”

She expected him to pull her close again. Instead, he leaned down and brushed his lips across hers. A light, wistful sweep of his mouth against hers. A promise more than a real kiss.

Mac stepped back, releasing her. “You might want to go back inside now.”

She continued to hold his gaze. Sincerity and stability were the two most important things to her right now and his perfect blue eyes were telling her she could trust him.

Then his gaze dropped to her mouth and as seconds ticked away, the expression in his eyes shifted from soft to sexually charged. He was a good man, but he was also a man who wanted her.

Her heart stuttered in her chest. She wasn't sure how to deal with that or even if she could. Part of her simply wanted to relent and do what they both wanted to do. The other part was afraid. She'd been burned once. No matter how many times she told herself he was different, he wouldn't hurt her, she knew her instincts about men had been wrong before. They'd told her she could trust Sam. She knew she had to be strong, smart.

And the smart thing right now would be to follow his suggestion and leave.

She turned and ran out of the gazebo, up the soft grass, along the cool tiles and up the stone stairs to the kitchen. In her room, she stood by the window, staring out at the gazebo, knowing he sat in there alone.

 

Mac fell into the chaise lounge again. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to think of that kiss. Unfortunately, when he shoved his mind off the kiss it jumped to Ellie being abused. When he shifted his mind off that, he envisioned her younger, alone and frightened on the streets, running
from a foster home. He couldn't handle the thought of Ellie being alone. He tried not to imagine how it felt to live on the streets as Phil had said she had done. He tried to ignore the swell of protectiveness that rose up in him.

Especially when a soft voice reminded him that he'd opened a door tonight that he probably shouldn't have opened. She'd already escaped several bad situations, and if he got involved with her he would be taking her directly into another. She wouldn't be on the streets or living with an abusive man, but she'd be locked in what she so clearly described as a private prison. If what he felt for her blossomed into love and they married, she'd live here, behind a gate. If she did leave the house, she'd be surrounded by bodyguards.

He cursed and began to pace. What was wrong with him? He knew better than to start something with her. She was too sweet, too innocent. He should have kept his hands off her. Not because she wasn't pretty enough or even because she wasn't special, but because she
was
special. Honest. Genuine. His life would crush her—or at the very least crush her spirit.

But what if it didn't? What if beneath all that sweetness was a layer of steel? What if her life had made her strong? And what if she chose him? What if she entered this life of his with her eyes wide-open? Ready to handle whatever came their way. Ready to mother his kids and love him.

Thunder rumbled closer this time, as if reminding him that wishful thinking was dangerous.

The only way she could come into his life, eyes open, fully prepared, would be if he really did let her choose. If he backed off and let her make the next move.

A
FTER
a nearly sleepless night, Ellie woke at four. Refusing to let herself think about what had happened in the gazebo, she sauntered downstairs, but Lacy wasn't at the weathered table. So she made a pot of coffee and sipped at three cups, waiting to make Lacy's breakfast, but to her complete joy Henry's six-thirty wake-up call came before Lacy woke.

Finally, closer to seven, the little girl tripped into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes sleepily. “Hi.”

“Hey, pumpkin.” Ellie juggled Henry on her lap. “You must be really hungry after that long sleep.”

“Yeah.” Bear under her arm, Lacy ambled to the table.

“Who had a really long sleep?” Mac walked into the room, dressed, as always, in a dark suit. Today he wore a white shirt and aqua tie. He couldn't have been more handsome to Ellie if he'd tried.

Then she remembered he'd kissed her.

She caught his gaze and for several seconds they simply stared at each other. So much had happened between them the night before and yet nothing had really happened. He'd brushed his lips across hers. That was all. It hardly counted as a kiss.

So why was her heart beating erratically at just the memory? Why did her breath shiver through her chest? Why couldn't she look away?

“Lacy had a really long sleep,” she said, working to make her voice sound normal. “She just woke up.”

Mac's gaze swung to his daughter. “Really?”

She grinned at him and nodded.

He strode to the table. “Well, that's cause for celebration.” He glanced at his watch as if gauging the time he had and turned to Ellie. “Can you make pancakes?”

Glad to have both of their minds off that kiss, Ellie happily said, “Absolutely.”

Henry screeched.

Mac took him from Ellie's lap. “I haven't forgotten you.” He kissed his cheek noisily. “Has he eaten yet?”

“Yes. Henry woke a little before Lacy did. I bathed him and fed him.” She surreptitiously caught Mac's gaze again. “So you're safe.”

Mac laughed and hugged his son.

Something warm and soft floated through Ellie. She didn't have to worry that he'd ravish her in front of his kids. He was a dad and though he liked Ellie, there was propriety to consider. She also didn't have to worry that he'd treat her any differently. In fact, they were behaving as they always did. Except today she wasn't on the outside looking in. That kiss the night before had brought her into the world she'd only been working in yesterday. Today she was part of the family. A
normal
family. Everything she'd always dreamed of. Everything other people had but she'd always believed was just beyond her reach was suddenly hers.

Tears filled her eyes and she turned away, busying herself with the pancakes as Mac entertained the children.

That was foolish, dangerous thinking. This wasn't hers. It wasn't her life. She wasn't even really their maid. She was a stand-in. Temporary help.

But what about that kiss?

Beating the pancake batter, she squeezed her eyes shut. It wasn't really a kiss. It was only a brush.

No. It was more like a question.

Is this right?

Do you want this?

The tears filling her eyes threatened to spill over. Did she want this? Of course, she wanted this. That wasn't the question. The question was…was it right? Would she get hurt?

Didn't she always get her hopes up and get hurt?

Yes.

That was why she was strong. Why she looked before she leaped.

She sucked in a breath, forced her tears to stop, made the pancakes and served them to this happy little family the way a good maid was supposed to. Though she knew Mac wouldn't have protested if she'd served herself a pancake and sat at the table with him and his children, she resisted temptation. She was too smart to wish for something she couldn't have.

She helped Henry wave goodbye to Mac as he left for work then dressed Lacy in something pretty. And fought not to think about how well she fit, how much her intuition screamed that she belonged here.

When Ava arrived that afternoon, Lacy and Henry were napping. The kitchen was quiet enough that the instincts and urges tormenting Ellie couldn't be quieted. To get her mind off her own troubles, she focused on Ava's date.

“So how'd it go?”

“It was fun.” She peeked up from the pages she was separating for Ellie's signature. “We're going out again over the weekend.”

“Really?” Ellie kept her voice light and found she actually did feel better forgetting about herself and talking about Ava.

Ava's face reddened endearingly. “Mark is a very nice man.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “That's all you can say? That he's nice? You're such a romantic.”

“And since when are you an expert on romance?”

Since the night before.

Since she'd been kissed with tenderness and honesty that zapped her fear and made her yearn for things she'd long ago forgotten she wanted.

Since she'd felt sexual heat that hinted at pleasure far beyond what she'd ever experienced.

Since she honest to God wondered if she wasn't falling in love.

The thought nearly suffocated her. In love? Oh, Lord! How could she fall in love with a man she couldn't have?

“You're right. I'm not the one to give romantic advice.”

Ava sighed. “Ellie! I was teasing.”

“I know, but I'm still not the one to be giving advice.”

Ava laughed. “Good grief, girl! You are
Magic.
You are the advice giver.” She glanced around the kitchen. “What the heck is happening to you here?”

Ellie pulled in a breath. “I'm losing touch with reality.”

“Since when did you deal in reality?”

“Since my intuition went on the fritz.”

“I find it hard to believe that your intuition is on the fritz. Why would the woman who's been right on the money with every premonition she's had suddenly decide she had no more intuition?”

“Because I'm always wrong when it comes to myself and men.”

“Really?”

“Yes! That's how I know the weird vibes I've been getting here have to be wrong.”

“What vibes?”

Ellie debated telling Ava the truth. She was going crazy with sadness one minute and going crazy wishing for things she was sure she couldn't have the next. But the worst were the times when she genuinely believed she could have everything she wanted from this little family, if she'd just say the word. If that was true, and she walked away, let fear control her, then Sam was winning. Ruining her life when he wasn't even around.

Ava was older, wiser, able to discern things. Maybe instead of intuition she needed real advice from someone with experience?

“All right. You asked for it. I'll tell you. My intuition keeps telling me Mac is the man of my dreams. The love of my life.”

Ava gaped at her. “No kidding. He's quite a catch. I'd be tempted to take that premonition and run with it.”

“This from the woman who hasn't dated in thirty years.”

“My situation was different. I was married for twenty years before my husband died. I had known what it was like to be blissfully in love. I'd had children. I'd built a very satisfying life. I already had my good memories. I didn't fear another relationship. I wasn't sure I wanted one.” She caught Ellie's hand. “You, on the other hand, are afraid.”

“You're damned right I'm afraid.”

“Mac is, by all accounts, a wonderful guy. Even you've told me that.”

“He is.”

“And does he feel the same way about you?”

Ellie whispered, “He kissed me last night.”

“Ah.” Ava squeezed Ellie's hand. “I don't think there's any reason to be afraid, but if you are, there's a simple cure. Take this slowly. Get to know him. And everything will turn out fine.”

“Right.”

“You don't sound so sure.”

“I have my reasons.”

Ava's face fell in concern. “Like what?”

“For one, his ex-wife is a movie star! How could I possibly believe I'm in his league? What if I'm setting myself up for a colossal fall just because my instincts really want for me to belong here?”

“So in other words, you're afraid because your intuition is telling you you belong here and you're questioning it?”

Ellie took a breath. “I've spent my whole life listening to my intuition, and in this house it's seriously on the fritz. I feel lost not being able to trust it.”

“Well, if you don't trust your intuition, there's another way to analyze this. Think about what you would listen to if you didn't have intuition.”

Ellie frowned. “What else is there?”

“Your head and your heart. What do they say?”

“Well, my head knows that he's a fabulous dad, a good man.”

“And your heart?”

“My heart thinks he's wonderful.”

“Oh, my dear, Ellie.” Ava rose from the kitchen table. “You've already made up your mind. Now you just have to get over your fear, and the best way is what I've already said. Get to know him. Take your time.”

“What if he goes faster than I can handle?”

“Then you just pretend he's one of the Happy Maids' employees who won't listen to your instructions.”

Ellie laughed. “Are you telling me to fire him?”

“No. I'm telling you to stand your ground.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “Right.”

“I am right. That
is
what you need to do. When he gives you work instructions you have to listen. But when the mood turns romantic, you're in charge. If he goes too fast, pull away…walk away.” Ava patted Ellie's hand one more time for good measure. “Trust me. You'll know what to do.”

“I hope you're right.”

“Right about what?”

Both Ava and Ellie spun to face the butler's pantry as Mac walked through into the kitchen.

“I…um…” Ellie stammered, unable to think of anything to say.

Luckily, Ava picked up the ball. “Ellie and I are in charge of a Labor Day picnic for the woman at a charity we work for. I told her we wouldn't have to worry about finding a place even though it's late and everything's already booked.”

“That's why I hope she's right,” Ellie jumped in, glad for Ava's perfect cover story. “We don't want to have to cancel the picnic just because we were a little slow on the uptake.”

Mac set his briefcase on the counter. “How many attendees?”

“Counting workers, we have about thirty.”

“This place can accommodate thirty people.”

Ava's eyes widened in surprise. Ellie gasped. “You'd let us have a picnic here?”

“Sure. I have a pool, a big yard and a gazebo with a huge grill. I think this place is perfect for a picnic.”

Ellie shook her head in dismay. “We can make quite a mess.”

“I'll hire Happy Maids to do the clean up the next day.”

Ava pulled a pen from her purse and a small notebook. “Sounds good to me. I'll call Ayleen and tell her we can stop looking. We're having our Labor Day picnic here.” She smiled at Ellie.

Ellie faced Mac, so flabbergasted by his generosity she was surprised she could speak. “Thanks. You don't know how much we appreciate this.”

He waved his hand dismissively. “I think that gazebo was built for parties, yet I've only grilled hot dogs for the kids. It'll be good to see the house get some use.”

“True,” Ellie agreed, loving the fact that he was coming out of his shell because of her.

“Besides, Lacy will enjoy it.”

“Exactly. Plus, we won't be here all day. Most of the guests will arrive around four. We usually clear out around nine or ten,” Ava said, obviously not about to let Mac change his mind. She faced Ellie again. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

 

Ellie walked on air the rest of the afternoon as Mac worked in his office. He let her serve dinner and clean up while he played with the kids, and took charge of getting Lacy and Henry ready for bed. He even stepped back when she came
into the bedroom to kiss Lacy good-night. Then he said good-night to her and headed for his own room without so much as a hint that he might kiss her.

Relief rippled through her. Then she wondered why. She wanted this. She wanted to be romantically involved with him. She knew Mac was a good man. His light kiss might have been his way of telling her he wouldn't push. And tonight's behavior might have been his way of reinforcing that. So, why was she so worried?

She made her way to her suite, undressed and got into bed. Thoughts of Mac again filled her head. And she did something she hadn't done in years. She discounted her intuition and really thought about him. She thought about his life, his bad marriage, the way he behaved with his kids. She thought about how he'd strong-armed her into taking this job then apologized. She considered how well he treated her and even how he'd changed his mind about letting Ava come to the house as a show of trust.

That was the one that pushed her over the top. He wasn't just fair; he treated her like an equal. Even though she was his employee and he didn't owe her any explanations or apologies, he admitted his mistake in yelling at her, and eventually gave her her own way on the situation, telling her Ava could come to the house to do the daily reports for Happy Maids.

Sam would have never done that.

For a few seconds she also thought about Sam, but they were very important seconds. Not because she once again realized how different Mac was than Sam, but because she realized how different
she
was.

It might have taken her three years to get beyond the emotional hurts enough that she could mature into the
person she was supposed to be, but she'd done it. Thanks to Liz. Thanks to A Friend Indeed. She was normal. Finally.