Mad About You (20 page)

When I got home, I found Lara, Yuri and Claire sitting around the kitchen table making puppets from paper plates and coloured paper. The children were thrilled with their new toys.

‘Look, Mummy, it’s a ladybird,’ Lara said.

‘Mine’s a scary spider,’ Yuri said, waving it in my face.

‘Wow, they’re really brilliant,’ I enthused. I was delighted that Claire was doing arts and crafts with the kids. It was something I rarely did. For some reason, whenever I planned something like that, the result was invariably dreadful and the kids lost interest.
Blue Peter
was never going to be knocking on my door, that was for sure.

‘And we went to the shop and boughted blackberries and made a cake,’ Yuri added.

‘It’s not a cake, it’s a rumble,’ Lara corrected him.

‘Crumble? Yum! I love blackberry crumble and it’s Daddy’s favourite.’

‘You seemed a bit hassled this morning, so we wanted to make something nice for you,’ Claire said.

‘That was so sweet of you.’

‘Is everything OK? Can I help at all?’ she asked.

I looked at my beautiful children, so happy and sweet and adorable. ‘Everything’s fine. I have something on my mind, but it’s not a big deal.’

‘Would you like me to heat up the crumble now, or would you prefer to wait and have it with James when he gets home?’

‘I’ll heat it up later. If I start it now, there’ll be none left for him!’

Claire started tidying the kitchen table, putting the craft things away. ‘I heard James’s team won on Saturday. That’s great. I guess it means he’ll be working late a lot, preparing for the next game?’

‘I hope not. The deal was that he’d get through that game, then start keeping more regular hours.’

‘Well, if you need me to do extra to help you out, I’d be happy to. By the way, I made a lasagne for your dinner. It’s in the fridge.’

‘Thanks, Claire. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.’ She really was fantastic. I was too tired to cook anything and now it was all done.

‘It was easy to do. I also finished the ironing.’

I smiled at her. ‘Brilliant. James says you’re by far the best ironer we’ve ever had.’

Claire blushed. ‘I actually like ironing,’ she said. ‘I find it very soothing.’

Soothing? I found it really frustrating. Just when you got one side of a shirt crease-free, another crease would appear on the other. It drove me nuts.

‘How are things with you?’ I asked. ‘Were you out this weekend at all?’

She stacked the children’s dinner plates in the dishwasher. ‘I’m kind of seeing a guy actually,’ she said shyly.

‘Oh, my God, that’s fantastic! Is he nice?’ I was thrilled for her.

‘Well, I’m taking it slowly. We’re still getting to know each other.’

‘I’m so pleased for you.’ I noticed she was wearing new red trainers. It was a start: maybe she’d begin making more of an effort with her appearance now she had a boyfriend. ‘If you ever want me to make you up for a date or anything, just ask. I’d be happy to do it.’

‘Thanks so much,’ she said.

The doorbell rang and I went to answer it. An oddly familiar woman was standing outside in a raincoat.

‘Emma?’ she said, holding out a hand.

‘Yes.’

‘I’m Maggie, Claire’s mum.’

‘Oh, right. Hello, nice to meet you.’ I ushered her in out of the rain. She was an older version of Claire.

‘I was working late at Poppy’s and I thought I’d call in and walk home with Claire.’

‘No problem. I must say we’re so happy with Claire – she’s just wonderful.’

‘Oh, that’s good.’ She looked pleased. ‘So, everything’s going well, then?’

‘Couldn’t be better.’

‘Poppy tells me your husband is a rugby coach. That’s exciting.’

‘He’s with London Irish.’ I didn’t think it was so exciting any more.

‘Does that mean he’s around much during the day?’

‘What?’ I looked at Maggie, and then I understood. She was worried about Claire being around an older man after her bad experience with the teacher.

‘My husband is hardly ever here, to be honest. He works very long hours. I did notice that Claire was terribly shy around him in the beginning, but she’s coming out of her shell a little more each week. James thinks she’s great too.’

When we walked into the kitchen and Claire saw her mother, she frowned. ‘What are you doing here?’ she asked, in a not too friendly tone.

‘I thought we could go home together,’ Maggie said. ‘It’s getting dark earlier and I don’t like you being alone.’

‘I don’t need a chaperone, Mum. You’re like a stalker,’ Claire snapped.

I could see that Claire found her mother overbearing and I felt for her – my own mother drove me to drink sometimes. But I also understood why Maggie felt protective of her. I thought it was sweet that she had come round to walk her home. Claire’s reaction reminded me that she was still a teenager – we’d all gone through that phase of being embarrassed by our mothers.

‘Are you Claire’s mummy?’ Lara asked.

‘Yes, pet, I am.’ Maggie leant down to talk to her.

‘You looks just like her,’ Lara said.

‘And you look like your mummy,’ Maggie pointed out.

‘Yes, but Babs said I’m lucky cos I don’t have Mummy’s yucky hair. I have beautifuller yellow hair like Babs.’

Maggie seemed taken aback.

‘My sister’s a bit mad,’ I explained.

‘I doesn’t look like Mummy or Daddy cos I comed from an orf’nage, but I’m the same as them in all the other ways,’ Yuri said.

Maggie went over to him. ‘I’ve heard all about you. Claire is always telling me what great children you are.’

‘I love Claire,’ Lara said, going over to hug her.

‘Would you like a cup of tea, Maggie?’ I offered.

‘No, thank you. We’ll be off now and leave you in peace.’ Maggie picked up Claire’s coat and bag and ushered her out.

Claire whispered to me, as Maggie left the room, ‘Don’t say anything about my boyfriend. I don’t want her to find out.’

I winked at her. ‘Your secret is safe with me.’

I woke up on Wednesday morning feeling rested for the first time in days. Until last night I hadn’t slept properly since the vibrator incident on Saturday. Apart from a brief nightmare, when I’d dreamt Babs had killed Gary with an axe and gone to prison, I’d had a good night.

By this evening, Gary would know about the baby and I suspected my sister would have discovered what a scumbag he really was.

I turned to James. ‘Don’t forget I need you home early. Babs is telling Gary and we both know what his reaction is going to be.’

James rolled out of bed and headed for the shower. ‘It’s not going to be pretty. I wouldn’t be surprised if Babs stabbed him in the face with her fork or something.’

‘Jesus, James, don’t say that. I’m worried enough as it is.’

‘Sorry!’ He closed the bathroom door and I could hear the shower running.

His phone beeped. I checked the message:
I am H4Y. IWS
.

Christ, what was this? I had no idea what the texts even meant, so I called the one person who would be able to decipher them: Babs.

‘It’s eight o’clock in the bloody morning so this’d better be an emergency,’ Babs croaked. ‘You know we don’t have to be in until eleven today.’

‘I need help. James just got another text and I don’t understand it. It’s all coded and I need to know what it means.’ I read the text out.

Babs sighed. ‘“H4Y” is obviously “Hot for You”. And “IWS” is “I Want Sex”. I’m going back to sleep now. Do not call me unless someone is dying. In fact, don’t call unless someone is actually dead.’ Babs hung up and I sat in bed, waiting for James to come in from the bathroom.

As I was waiting the door burst open and Yuri came in with a pile of post. He was waving something around.

‘What have you got there? I asked, still distracted by the text.

‘It’s a present, Mummy.’ He put the post on the bed and concentrated on the package. He ripped the paper off the ‘present’. Something fell out. ‘Wow!’ He sounded thrilled. ‘Come on, Mummy, play with me. You be the bad guy and I’ll be the policeman and I’ll put these clickies on you.’

I peered at his hand. Jesus Christ, he was holding a pair of leather handcuffs. I grabbed them, but he refused to let go. ‘No! I founded them, they’re mine.’

I ripped them out of his hand and grabbed the paper. There was a printed label, addressed to Mrs Emma Hamilton and a card that said:
J loves using these on me
.

A sob escaped from my mouth, but it was drowned by Yuri wailing, ‘Give them back to
meeeeeeee
.’

The bathroom door burst open. ‘What in the name of God is going on?’ James demanded.

I threw the handcuffs at him. ‘These, James! And this text!’ I shouted, shoving his phone up to his nose.

‘I hate you, Mummy! You’re so mean!’ Yuri roared, as he tried to snatch the handcuffs from James.

James read the message and clung firmly to the handcuffs, despite Yuri’s best efforts to take them from him. He looked gobsmacked. ‘Emma … I don’t … What the hell is this?’

Yuri was winding up for a full tantrum. I needed to get him out of the room. ‘Yuri,’ I said firmly, ‘go downstairs and get yourself some crisps.’

‘Really?’ He was so shocked to be getting crisps before school that he forgot about the tantrum.

‘Yes.’

‘
Cooooooool!
’ He ran out of the room.

To James, I said, ‘Would you like to explain to me what this means? Filthy texts and now handcuffs! Jesus Christ, what the bloody hell is going on?’ My heart was pounding in my chest.

James sat down heavily on the bed and stared at the card. ‘I haven’t got a clue. I don’t understand any of this. It’s completely insane. Who is doing this?’

I stood up. I didn’t want to be near James. I was so angry with him. He had brought this on us. It was clear now that it wasn’t one of the rugby guys, unless they were insane, so it must be a woman. It had to be someone who was in love with James and wanted to get rid of me. She had our address, she knew my name. She was sending porn to our house in front of our children. What the bloody hell had James done? Whatever it was, it was now invading all of our lives.

‘You must have some idea who this is,’ I yelled. ‘You have
got
to know who this nutter could be. Who have you been talking to? Who have you been flirting with? Who have you been having sex with?’

James threw his hands into the air. ‘I have no idea. I swear to you, I haven’t even looked at another woman. I don’t speak to other women. All I’ve bloody done since we moved here is work, eat and sleep. I’ve been one hundred per cent focused on proving myself to the management so I get to keep my job.’

I grabbed his arm. ‘You
must
have led someone on. A woman doesn’t do something crazy like this without being provoked. This is
Fatal Attraction
stuff. You’ve brought this on yourself and me and your family.’ I began to cry.

James tried to put his arm around me, but I shook it off. ‘Emma, I swear on our children’s lives I have no idea who this is. I’m just as shocked and furious as you are.’

My whole body was shaking with rage and fear and confusion. ‘Figure out who the hell it is and then tell the lunatic to
stop.
And if you’ve had sex with someone and are trying to pretend you didn’t, I swear to you, I will kill you. Confess now, because if I find out you’re lying, I will NEVER forgive you. Are you having an affair?’

‘No, I bloody am not,’ James barked. ‘I’m as much in the dark as you are. I’m horrified. Do you think I’d knowingly allow someone to do this to you, or our children? I have no idea how any of it happened. I don’t understand why someone would do this.’

‘Really, James? Are all those late nights just about rugby?’

‘YES! I need to make this work. I can’t lose another job. I’m trying to provide for my family. Since when did that become a crime?’

‘So who the hell is doing this?’ I screamed at him.

James grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me to look at him. His voice was low and urgent. ‘I swear to you I have no idea who this person is. I can’t even think of a woman I’ve had a five-minute chat with since we moved to London. There is no one.’

‘What about Harriet in the club?’

‘I barely see her and she’s a very normal person, happily engaged
and
she’s pregnant. I don’t see her as being capable of something like this. Emma, you have to believe me, I just don’t know.’

He let go of me and stood back. I looked at my husband, the man I loved, the man I had agreed to spend the rest of my life with. I felt only doubt and anger. This was the first time in my marriage that I had ever felt so vulnerable. I could
feel a tightness in my chest. ‘The problem is, James, I don’t believe you. This cannot have come from nowhere. There’s something you’re not telling me.’

‘I don’t know what else to say to you, Emma. I’m as confused as you are. I have no idea why someone would send sextexts to me and crazy stuff like this to you.’

‘I don’t believe you,’ I said, tears pouring down my cheeks now.

The door burst open. ‘I want crisps too,’ Lara demanded.

I quickly wiped my face and stuck on a smile. I was glad of the interruption. I needed to get away from James. I needed to think.

Somehow we managed to get the children fed and ready for the day. I was taking them to school as I was starting work late. James tried to kiss me goodbye but I pulled away from him.

‘I’ll call you later. I love you, Emma, and we’ll figure this out,’ he said, as he left. I didn’t answer.

As we walked to school, Yuri brought up the ‘present’ again. ‘Mummy, when I come home I want to play with the clickies.’ Damn, I was hoping he’d forgotten about the bloody handcuffs.

‘What clickies?’ Lara asked.

‘The things that the police put on bad guys. Like the sheriff in
Scooby-Doo.
’

‘I want to play with them.’ Lara pouted.

‘Forget about them. They’re not for kids,’ I said.

‘Who gaved them to you?’ Yuri asked. ‘It’s not your birthday, is it, Mummy?’

‘No, pet, it isn’t.’

‘Why did you get a present, then?’

I sighed. ‘It wasn’t a present, it was kind of a joke. A really stupid joke. Now just forget about them.’

‘I didn’t see them. It’s not fair. I want to see them and play with them.’ Lara was relentless.

‘Lara, I’m warning you. I do not want to hear another word about those stupid things. Just drop it,’ I shouted.

Lara’s eyes welled. ‘You’re a meanie. I hate you. You’re always grumpy. I love Claire. She’s nice and she never shouts. I wish she was my mummy.’

I felt as if I’d been stabbed. Lara knew exactly how to hurt me.

‘I’m not always grumpy,’ I said, feebly defending myself.

‘You are grumpy, Mummy, and you’re very grumpy to Daddy,’ Yuri joined in. ‘I hearded you shouting at him. Claire never shouts and she likes playing Lego with me and you never do.’

I willed myself not to cry. I felt really guilty for snapping at the children and upsetting them. But I was angry too – furious with James for bringing all this weirdness into our lives.

Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to sound calm. I crouched down. ‘I’m sorry I was snappy and I’m sorry I was grumpy too.’

‘Why are you cross with Daddy?’ Lara asked. ‘He looked sad today.’

‘Because he …’ I hesitated. I needed to tread carefully. Despite my anger towards my husband, these two little people thought their father was perfect. It wasn’t fair to criticize him in front of them. ‘Because he’s working too hard and I think he should come home and spend more time with us.’

Yuri’s smooth, pale brow creased. ‘But, Mummy, he has to work hard. He has to make his team the bestest so they can win the big prize.’

I opened my arms and pulled my two precious babies into a bear hug. ‘I love you, guys.’

Thankfully, Lara and Yuri hugged me back. ‘I love you too, Mummy, but I love Claire best.’ Lara drove the knife further into my heart.

‘I love Daddy the most,’ Yuri told me, twisting it.

I wanted to cry. What a morning! I dropped them off at the gate and headed straight for the tube. I wanted to get away from the school and sit down in a coffee shop to gather my thoughts before work. I was in a state. I needed to get a grip on my emotions.

As I sat in Caffè Nero, near Putney Bridge tube station, I went over the morning’s events. Although my initial reaction was that James must be having an affair, Lucy was right: why would someone he was sleeping with send stuff to my house? Unless she was a complete nutter, of course, but then, I couldn’t imagine James having sex with a crazy person. Besides that, he seemed genuinely shocked and upset by it all. Should I trust him? He wasn’t acting like a man having an affair: he always left his phone on the table for me to read his texts if I felt like it. But he was working late a lot … Then again, so did a lot of people.

I rubbed my eyes. I felt exhausted and it was only ten a.m. I decided to give James the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions. I wouldn’t let this deranged joker ruin our lives. Whoever it was, he or she was obviously trying to frighten me. I wouldn’t let them win. I straightened my shoulders, and picked up my bag. Onwards and upwards …