LUKE: Complete Series (23 page)

I sat up, satisfied that this wouldn’t be an issue, and dug my phone out of my purse. I scrolled through the names in my address book and stopped at Jesse’s name. My finger hovered over the touchscreen as I tried to imagine what I would say, and what I shouldn’t say. I let my finger fall slowly toward the screen before I stopped myself.

I couldn’t call him. I hadn’t called him in over eight months. If I called him now and accused him of not doing enough to stop my brother from committing suicide he would think I was crazy for waiting so long. Not to mention the fact that he could have been just as clueless about Ryan’s plans as I was.

I had to let go.

I had to forgive myself.

I had to remember that I had already been forgiven, many times.

I ate half the bowl of soup, curled up on the bed, hugging a pillow to my belly, and quickly drifted off. When I woke, Luke was lying next to me staring at my face.

“What time is it?”

“Half past nine. My father passed away an hour ago.”

I tossed the pillow I was clutching to the floor and threw my arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry.”

He wrapped his arms around my waist and dug his fists into my back. His arms shook with the force of trying to hold it together.

I squeezed him tighter and buried my face in the crook of his neck. “What can I do? Just tell me what you want me to do?”

He submerged his face in my hair and opened his fists so his hands were flat against me. “Just lay with me.”

His hands slid down my back and underneath my T-shirt. My skin prickled and I sucked in a sharp breath as his fingers skimmed over the sensitive skin on my lower back. I pulled away and held his face in my hands. He was crying.

“I love you,” I said, as his hands slid further up my back and unclasped my bra. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Whatever will make you feel better, I’ll do it.”

He lifted the bottom of my shirt and I raised my arms so he could pull it off. I slipped out of my bra and tossed it onto the floor behind me. He stared at my breasts for a moment before his gaze traveled up to my lips then my eyes.

“I just want to lay with you, just like that.”

I nodded and he pulled his T-shirt off, maybe as a way of making me feel more comfortable. I couldn’t feel more comfortable.

I brushed the scruff on his jaw with the back of my fingers and he closed his eyes. “Did he know you were there?” I asked. “Does he know you came?”

He nodded as he traced his finger lightly over the skin between my breasts and I shuddered. He didn’t stop until he reached the button of my jeans, which he stared at for a while as if he were contemplating unfastening the button. His gaze returned to my eyes and I took his hand in mine. I placed a light kiss on the tip of each of his fingers before I placed his hand over my heart.

“Do you feel that? You did that. You glued the pieces of my broken heart back together.”

A tiny smile curled the corners of his lips and filled me with joy. “You’ve given me more than I could ever give you. Even before we met, you taught me about the tenacity of the human spirit.” He tucked my hair behind my ear and sighed. “You amaze me.”

“Can I hug you?”

He chuckled as he opened his arms. “Bring it home.”

We wrapped our arms around each other and my nipples stiffened as our chests touched. I laid my cheek against his shoulder so he couldn’t see the longing in my face. His hand slid up and grasped the back of my neck and he turned my head so I was facing him. Our noses bumped against each other and I smiled as I breathed in the familiar scent of his aftershave. He brushed my hair away from my face and continued stroking my hair softly until I was completely relaxed in his arms.

“Do you feel that?” he whispered. “It’s called peace. You are my peace.”

9: LUKE

After spending a sexless and completely perfect night with Brina in our hotel room, I took her home and flew back the next day to help Reese and my mother with the funeral arrangements. The twenty-eight days that followed were spent mostly watching movies with Brina on opposite ends of the sofa; going to dinner with Brina at the most unromantic restaurants we could find; avoiding double-dates with Jill and Milo; occasionally spending the night in my bed, just talking; and trying to convince myself not to rip off her clothes.

Tonight would be our last night spent together without making love and I had no doubt we would make it through. We made it through the July 4
^th
fireworks show at the docks while under the influence of way too many beers without giving in; we could withstand one more night. I needed to prove to her that I was dead serious about making this work. Though I was still numb from my father’s death, having Brina around made the past few weeks more than just bearable. I wanted her to stick around for a long time and it was my intention to tell her this tomorrow.

When my doorbell rang, I put on my best everything’s-fine smile and opened the door.

“I’m driving today,” she declared.

I took in her beauty from head to toe. Her brown hair was cinched in a braid that wrapped around her head and dangled over her shoulder. I studied the curve of her breasts and hips beneath the cream and sky-blue sundress she wore. My eyes snapped back to the swell of her breasts. They looked bigger than they normally did.

“Are you padding today?” I asked, and she swiftly punched me in the arm. “Ow! Sorry, but they look bigger than usual.”

She glanced down at her breasts and her eyes widened. “Oh, shit.”

“Oh, shit, what?”

“Oh, fuck,” she whispered. “I think I’m late.”

My heart clenched inside my chest and I grabbed the door handle to steady myself. “You
think
you’re late? So you’re not sure?”

“Oh, my God. I’m definitely late. I need to go to the drugstore. I’ll call you later.”

She turned to leave and I grabbed her hand. “Wait. I’ll take you.”

She slapped her keys into my palm and pulled me out the door. “We can take my car. Hurry up.”

I shut my door and we quickly climbed into her Honda. The car had to be at least seven or eight years old, but it was in fairly good condition. I turned the key in the ignition and the dashboard lights flashed and turned off. The “Check Engine” light and the “Maintenance” light stayed on.

I maneuvered the car around my Bugatti, a little worried by how hard I had to press on the brake pedal for it to remain stationary, and stopped in front of the gate. I rolled down my window and pressed my hand to the touchscreen suspended on the pedestal and the gate opened.

I pulled out onto the road and glanced at her. She was wringing her hands so tightly her skin was already turning pink. I reached across and grabbed her hand.

“Hey. Don’t freak out. We can handle this.”

She glared at me as I came to a stop at an intersection. “
We
can handle this? What does that even mean?”

I shook my head, but I didn’t reply. I knew no matter what I said right now I was only going to dig my grave even deeper.

“What does that mean?” she insisted, as she yanked her hand out of mine.

I eased forward into the intersection when the light turned green and paused for a moment to make sure I chose my words wisely. “It means that I will support you no matter what happens.”

She shook her head as she stared out the passenger-side window.

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

“No. Just drive. I don’t want to talk.”

I stayed silent as she picked out four different home pregnancy tests and we headed back to my house. As I pulled her car up the incline of my driveway, it sputtered to a stop.

“When was the last time you got an oil change?”

She plucked the plastic drugstore bag off the floor near her feet and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“I’m getting you a new car.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not getting me a new car just because I need an oil change.”

“No, I’m getting you a new car because I don’t want to have to drive this thing ever again.”

“Oh, so my car sucks too much for Luke Maxwell? Yeah, well, I’m sorry I can’t afford to special order sports cars from a factory in Italy!”

“I’m just trying to be helpful.”

She sighed as she leaned her head back. “I’m not upset with you. I’m mad at myself.”

“I thought you were on birth control.”

“I stopped taking it when we weren’t together. I’ve been waiting for my period to come so I could start taking them again. But we haven’t been having sex so I guess I just stopped keeping track. Man, I’m such an idiot.”

“Hey, it takes two. If you’re an idiot then I’m an idiot and we can’t have that.” She smiled and I reached across the distance between us. I laid my hand on her abdomen and she looked at me sideways. “It’s not like you did it on purpose, right?”

She gasped and threw my hand off.

“I was kidding!” I bit my lip to keep from laughing as she glared at me. “Come on, I was obviously kidding. Even if you did it on purpose, I’d still take care of it. If it was born looking like an alien mutant, like Milo Yates, I’d still love it.”

Her glare disappeared as the color drained from her face. “Oh, no.”

“What?” She didn’t have to say a word for me to know what “oh, no” meant. “You had sex with Milo?”

She buried her face in her hands. “No. I mean, yes, once, but not when we were together. It was the day of the conference. I was distraught.”

A fire bellowed inside my chest, my heart pounding as I tried to breathe to keep myself from exploding. I yanked the key out of the ignition and dropped it in her lap before I threw open the car door.

“Where are you going?” she asked in a frightened voice.

“Get inside.” She didn’t move and I gritted my teeth as I resisted the urge to tell her to get the fuck out of the car. “Please come inside.”

10: BRINA

I gathered the plastic bag and my purse into my arms and followed Luke into the house. The shame was rolling off of me as the anger rolled off of him and I could sense a tsunami of disaster coming.

“I have to use the restroom.”

I hurried toward the guest bathroom before he could say anything. Ten minutes later, my stomach dropped out as I read the results of the first test: positive.

The knock on the door startled me.

“Are you okay in there?”

His voice had softened. I unlocked the door and the weight of the situation was too much. I sat on the floor with the pregnancy test resting in my palm. He got on his knees, took the stick out of my hand, and placed it on the counter as he looked me in the eye.

He took my hand in his and kissed it. “I meant what I said…. I’ll love it no matter who or what it is.”

He set my hand down in my lap then reached into his back pocket. My heart stopped when I saw the small gray box in his hand.

“I was going to do this tomorrow, right before I made love to you, but I figured there’s no better time than now, on the bathroom floor with a pee-stick behind me.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” I said, unable to hide my uncontrollable grin.

“I’m dead fucking serious. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Brina. I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to raise your mutant baby. Will you marry me?”

“Of course, I will.” I laughed as I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him, a kiss I had been waiting for for twenty-nine days and it was finally here, on the bathroom floor with a pee-stick inches away.

His tongue slid over mine and I whimpered involuntarily.

“Thank fuck you got knocked up,” he whispered into my mouth. “I don’t think I could have waited another day.”

I sucked on his bottom lip and bit down softly as I pulled away. “You would have waited.”

He kissed my neck and a surge of desire pulsed between my legs. “You’re right,” he whispered, as he licked my earlobe. “I would have waited forever.”

He stood suddenly, keeping his arms wrapped firmly around my waist so we didn’t lose our connection. I held tightly to his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked into the hallway and pinned me against the wall.

“I love you,” he said, balancing me against the wall so he could undo his jeans.

His erection sprung free and I gasped as he pushed my soaked panties aside and entered me.

“Oh, Luke!” I gasped, as he thrust himself inside and a shock of delicious pain coursed through me.

He moved slowly at first, but he quickly grew more urgent as his need grew. The heat of our friction sent waves of pleasure cascading through me.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight,” he growled, as he bit down softly on my shoulder. “I’m gonna come.”

I leaned my head back and smiled. He groaned as he kissed my throat and with each thrust I could feel his warmth filling me. His arms shook, straining with my weight as he finished. I slid my legs down until my feet hit the floor.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his breath hot against my forehead. “That was way too fast. It’s been so long.”

“No need to apologize,” I said, running my fingers through his hair as I kissed his scratchy jaw. “That was only round one.”

“And we have the rest of our lives.”

He scooped me up in his arms and I nuzzled my face in his neck as he carried me to his bedroom. He set me down on the floor next to the bed and turned me around so he could unzip my dress.

“That was definitely just a warm-up,” he said, as his fingers slid the zipper down and a chill traveled up my spine.

He slipped my dress off and kissed my shoulder. His lips lightly traced a trail up my neck as he slid his hands between my panties and my hips. His nose brushed my spine as he knelt down, taking my panties with him. He kissed the dimple above my ass and I flinched from the unexpected tickling sensation. His fingers brushed the sides of my thighs as he stood. I could feel myself getting wetter by the second as I listened to him climb out of his jeans.

I stepped out of my panties as he turned me around. I wasn’t wearing a bra. It was unnecessary with the dress I had been wearing. That would probably change after I had a baby. As if he could read my mind, he cupped my breast in his hand as he wrapped his other arm around me. I arched my back as he took my nipple into his mouth.