LUKE: Complete Series (18 page)

Every name on every marker sounded like the name of someone I had once known. I imagined each one of them and what they might have looked like. Someone left a happy birthday balloon tied to a card on Joseph Finley’s grave. I didn’t know who Joseph Finley was or how Joseph died, but I knew a little bit about how he lived because someone out there still loved him.

I must have walked down forty or fifty rows before I finally found it. And I didn’t have to make a mental list of suspects in my mind to know who had left a single red rose on my brother’s grave.

I fell to my knees as the blood rushed away from my limbs toward my shattered heart. The letters on the headstone blurred before me and I was grateful to be blinded by the grief. I didn’t want to see Ryan Kingston – Washington – U.S. Marines – June 18, 1989 – November 6, 2011 – Purple Heart – Operation Enduring Freedom.

I lifted the rose and clutched it against my chest as I curled into myself. The guilt that had absorbed me for eight months loosened its grip and I took a deep breath. I breathed in the scent of the rose and the grass. I breathed in the earthy scent of the sunbaked stone marker. Then I listened. I listened to the breeze rustling through the giant elm tree nearby. I listened to the sound of footsteps crunching through the grass. I listened to the voice in my head—Ryan’s voice—telling me to get off my knees and get on with my life.

6: Luke

I had never seen anything more beautiful and more tragic in my life. Brina bowed before her brother’s headstone, her face hidden beneath a curtain of brown hair as she clutched the rose I had placed on his grave. Her body quaked as she sobbed into the earth. I wanted to go to her, to comfort her, but I didn’t want to intrude.

I stepped out from behind the elm tree, where I had hid the moment I saw her walking up the path. I waited. If she looked up at that moment I would go to her.

She didn’t look up so I made a beeline for the curved concrete path. I walked quickly, trying not to glance at the many names of fallen heroes on either side of me.

“Luke?”

I whipped my head around and my heart jumped. She was still on her knees, but she was looking over her shoulder straight at me. I hurried back down the path until I reached her row then made my way to her.

Her nose and cheeks were damp and screaming red, but she was more beautiful than the day she walked into my office six weeks ago. I knelt next to her and took her into my arms.

“I knew it was you,” she whispered, as she wept into my neck.

I kissed the top of her head and breathed the scent of her shampoo. She wrapped her arms around my waist and, for the first time in six weeks, I felt like I was right where I was supposed to be.

She pulled back and wiped at her face. I took her fragile face in my hands and brushed away the tears with my thumb. Her face screwed up as if she were trying to keep herself from crumbling.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” I whispered, “but I hoped you would.”

She smiled at this confession. “You know me well.”

I didn’t believe in fate, but I did believe that something had broken inside her today when she left my house. The walls protecting her from the honest introspection she so desperately needed to get past her brother’s death were collapsing. That was why I let her go. I knew that if I allowed her to be strong rather than trying to give her strength, she might finally forgive herself and maybe then she could forgive me.

“I want to get to know you better,” I said, as I kissed her forehead. “I think we need to take a timeout; slow things down.”

She heaved a deep sigh. “You want to be friends?”

“For a little while. I already broke up with Olivia, but I don’t want to rush into anything with you. Because I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone and I don’t want to screw this up again.”

Her lips curled into a tiny smile, more than I expected at a moment like this. “There’s nothing in this world I would like more than being your friend.”

I held my hand out to her and she stared at it. “One month. If we can be friends, real friends, no ripping each other’s clothes off, for a full month then I don’t think there’s anything we can’t face. Deal?”

She gazed at my hand as she thought about this proposition then she slowly reached for my hand and shook it. “Deal.”

PART FIVE: TIMEOUT

1: BRINA

I pulled up to the gate at Luke Maxwell’s multi-million dollar cozy bungalow on the water and glared at the touchscreen, which was mounted on a steel post. I laid my palm flat on the screen over the nifty outline of a hand. The screen flashed green.

“Brina Kingston. Identity confirmed.”

The gate swung open and I shook my head as Luke’s geeky side was becoming more apparent. I had never actually come to his house in my own car so this gate routine was new. I pulled my car into the curved driveway behind his Bugatti and glanced at the empty coffee cup in my cup holder and stack of unemployment insurance paperwork on the passenger seat. Luke and I lived in two different worlds, which was exactly why I was here—to bridge the gap.

I hadn’t left my parents’ house for four days--I’d been holed up in my bedroom ever since I visited my brother’s grave—but Luke insisted we were going to do something fun today. I only agreed to come if he allowed me to drive my car to his house instead of letting him pick me up as if we were going on some kind of date. We were not supposed to be dating.

My sneakers tapped the pavement as I approached the glass front door. The glare from the late-morning sun made it impossible to see through the smoky glass into the house. I rang the doorbell and tried to listen for the sound of the bell, but the door was sealed too well. I heard nothing. A moment later, the door swung inward and Luke stood before me wearing a smile that could melt glass. His eyes slid up and down my body, taking in my sneakers, jeans, and the Redskins jersey I wore over my tank top.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

He had asked me to dress in my best sports gear for whatever outing he had planned today. Not being a huge sports fan myself, I borrowed a jersey from my best friend Jill.

He shook his head as he continued to grin. “This is
not
going to work.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, as I stepped over the threshold. “You told me to dress sporty.”

“No, I mean this timeout. It’s not going to work if you keep looking so damn sexy.”

He closed the front door and we stood face to face, our noses inches apart. My chest trembled slightly with every breath I took. His scent was intoxicating: sunshine and sea breeze.

“We can’t do this,” I whispered, unable to tear my gaze away from his lips.

Luke and I had agreed to take a thirty-day “timeout” to get to know each other better. There was no doubt we had rushed into things when we were together six weeks ago. And we were both keeping so many secrets back then, it was impossible to know if we had fallen in love with each other or with a lie—a hot, sexy lie.

His hand reached for my face and I closed my eyes as I anticipated his touch. He brushed a stray lock of hair away from my cheek and I shuddered.

“I can’t
not
do this,” he whispered, as he took my face in his hands and kissed me.

I clutched the front of his T-shirt as I melted into him. His tongue danced around mine and a fire pulsed between my legs. We hadn’t made love in six weeks. I ached to feel him inside me.

He pushed me against the wall and devoured my neck as he reached for the button on my jeans. I clutched at his hair as he slid down, pulling my jeans down as he knelt. I peeled off the jersey and tank top and kicked off my sneakers so he could pull my jeans off. He knelt before me, his eyes taking in my body as I unhooked my bra and tossed it aside.

He grabbed my hips and kissed my belly. I shivered as his lips moved down and he lifted my leg over his shoulder. I tried not to come as soon as his tongue came in contact with me, but I couldn’t help it. It had been so long since we’d done this. Less than two minutes of his tongue twirling slowly around my clit and I came hard, doubling over as I lost control of all the muscles in my body.

“Oh, Luke,” I breathed, as he set my leg down and I fell to my knees before him so we were face to face.

He peeled off his T-shirt and I gulped as I marveled at his sculpted chest. I brushed my fingers over his hard pecs and he sucked in a sharp breath. I smiled at the affect I had on him then reached for his jeans. I unbuttoned them slowly and as soon as I unzipped him, his long, hard cock burst through the slot on his underwear. I bit my lip as I anticipated tasting him, but the floor was too hard to kneel here.

I pointed at the table a few feet away where he always tossed his keys on the way into the foyer. “Sit down,” I ordered him and he cocked an eyebrow.

“I think I can find something a bit more comfortable than that,” he said, as he stood and held his hand out to me.

He led me outside naked into the garden and down the path to a lower terrace. When we reached the hammock he’d installed in his pagoda, I stared at it for a moment as I thought of the agreement we had made just days ago. He grabbed my hips and turned me so I was facing away from him and toward the water. His erection crushed against my bare ass and my breath came in shallow gasps. His hand slid over my belly and down to the apex of my thighs as he laid a soft trail of kisses from my shoulder up to my neck.

“I want you so fucking bad,” he whispered in my ear and my body convulsed as his fingers explored me.

I spun around and looked into his eyes. “I’m all yours.”

The hunger cast a gray shadow across the aquamarine pools of his eyes and I quickly climbed into the hammock. His chest heaved with every breath as he watched me lie back and part my legs for him. He shrugged out of his jeans and climbed onto the hammock. I let out a gust of nervous laughter as he crawled toward me while the hammock rocked beneath us. He settled himself between my legs and pressed his lips together as he entered me. My eyes widened and I gasped with pleasure. I had been longing for this moment for six weeks.

“Not laughing anymore, are you?” he whispered against my lips.

“Definitely not.”

He slid his hand behind my knee and lifted my leg as his hips rolled back and forth. I whimpered as he pierced me slowly and torturously. He closed his eyes and I clasped my hands around the back of his neck and pulled him toward me.

“Look at me,” I whispered.

He gazed into my eyes and his hips moved even slower. “Do you know how much I love being inside of you?”

A warm pool of pleasure was building between my legs and I had to fight the urge to arch my back and give in to it.

“How much?”

He released my leg and slid his arm beneath my waist before he flipped over so I was straddling him. I placed my hands on his chest and leaned forward slightly as he sunk deep inside me.

“Oh, fuck,” he whispered, as I rocked slowly up and down on him. “I’d give up everything if we could stay like this forever.”

I moaned as the friction between us sent delicious waves of pleasure echoing through me.

“No, don’t come yet,” he said, turning me onto my back again. “I want this to last.”

I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him tightly against me. He kissed me tenderly, his mouth moving in time with the slow rhythm of his thrusts. I gasped into his mouth as he slid deeper inside me and hit my center.

“You like that?” he whispered against my cheek.

“Yes,” I breathed, as I dug my fingernails into his shoulder. “Don’t stop.”

I clenched myself tightly around his shaft as he plunged in and out of me, taking his sweet time. He cupped my breast in his hand and sucked my nipple softly at first then harder and a blissful heat shot straight to my core.

“Come with me,” he urged, grinding his pelvis against my mound as he looked me in the eye. “Come on, baby, come with me.”

“Oh, my god,” I gasped, as my legs began to quiver.

I arched my back and he pounded me harder. Every thrust sent me further and further over the edge until I couldn’t take it anymore and I screamed. He came inside me and I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as he collapsed on top of me, both of us panting heavily as our hearts beat against one another.

“Holy fuck,” he whispered into my neck. “I missed you so much.”

I clutched his hair to steady myself and realized it wasn’t me who needed steadying. “You’re shaking.”

“Because that was amazing.” He pushed up on his hands and planted a soft kiss on the corner of my lips before he rolled off of me.

I turned to him and held my fist above his chest. “Bro-fist, ‘cause that’s the last time that’s going to happen for a month.”

He bumped my fist then pulled me into a headlock.

“Stop it!” I squealed through my giggles and he let go. I tossed my hair back to get it out of my face and he was grinning. “What are you grinning at?”

“I’m going to have so much fun teasing you this month.”

I rolled my eyes before I lay back and stared at the sheer canopy above us. “You’re gonna cave, brother. You’re going down… down to Chinatown.”

He propped himself up on his elbow and his eyes widened. “We should get Chinese food after the game. On me.”

“Friends go Dutch.”

“Let’s live life on the edge. Let me buy you some egg rolls.”

“You are so generous with your billions.”

He shrugged and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to pinch his cheeks or straddle him. I settled for a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Let’s go, Moneybags.”

2: LUKE

It took every ounce of self-control in me not to reach across the console and touch her as I drove us to the bar after playing field hockey at the Connolly Center.

“I can’t believe you blocked my shot!” she complained for the fourth time. “Friends are supposed to help each other out.”

“We were on opposite teams, nerd. I’m
supposed
to block your shot.”