Luck of the Draw (8 page)

At that she smiled. He was. But she also felt a bit of guilt too. She hadn’t wanted to bring him fishing with her. She did it because she needed to. “Yeah, we’re friends. All the more reason I’m curious about you.”

Oh, and I’m carrying your baby.

Breck groaned and she had a feeling her question hit a nerve. She didn’t back down, though. It was important for both of them and for their child. But still, she didn’t want to keep something like this from him. Rowan looked at Breck and started to feel sick to her stomach. It wasn’t that she wanted to keep this from him—she was starting to hate it. She just needed to get more of a feel about who or what Breck Wilder really was besides the jokester, the flirt who loved nothing more than poker. Right?

“I haven’t been an angel, Houdini. Being on the road…living the kind of life I do, there have been women.”

“So that’s it? You’re just interested in getting some?”

“No. That’s not it, but it’s happened. I think you’d realize how easily it could happen.” She tried to reply to that, but he kept talking. “It’s never turned out well. I didn’t set out to seduce all the females I ran across, but I wasn’t looking for anything permanent either. Let’s put it this way: the last woman I spent more than one evening with ended up stealing Ace and holding her hostage. I was celibate for a few months after things ended with her and the very next woman I was with snuck out on me while I was sleeping.”

More guilt climbed onto the load she already carried. So, sneaking out on him probably wasn’t the most polite thing she could have done. “I’m sorr—”

“Don’t. I don’t need an apology. I’m just trying to explain why I am the way I am. I can play cards, but my luck is shit when it comes to women.”

There was a dark tone to his words that told her he wasn’t telling her everything. It sounded an awful lot like pain. “There’s more… Another reason, right?”

He sighed. “I travel a lot. I don’t have to take all the games I do, but I like it. That’s really not the best lifestyle for a relationship.”

Tears threatened her eyes at that. He was right; it
wasn’t
the best lifestyle. Suddenly it was a very real possibility Breck wouldn’t ever be in their child’s life.

Rowan sat up straighter. It would be hard, but she could do it. She’d have to love their baby enough for both of them. “Is that all?”

Breck paused. “I’m not in the mood to bare my soul tonight, Houdini.”

His words stung when she knew they shouldn’t. She’d leave that part of it alone, but she needed more. It wasn’t like she could bring up the same subject over and over—while they were on it, she had to take advantage.

“So you don’t ever think you’ll want more… A job where you’re not traveling as much? Someone to come home to? A little piece of yourself to hold… You know, to grow up?” She added the last part so the conversation didn’t sound as heavy as the weight in her stomach felt.

He paused again and she almost thought he wasn’t going to answer. “Why would I? I can do what I want, when I want. I don’t have to worry about someone stealing my cat or giving me a hard time. I’m free…”

Rowan sucked in a breath. She didn’t want to be the one to tie him down where he didn’t want to be. She couldn’t have their child feeling like Breck didn’t want her.

“I’m not trying to sound like an asshole. I take care of my responsibilities and it wouldn’t be any different if I found myself in a situation where there was a child. I’d do right by it.”

His words were meant to make her feel better, but all they did was make the hollow spot inside her deepen. She’d never let her baby feel like she was only a responsibility. Her child would always be the most loved, most important person in the whole world, even if it was only from her. It wasn’t that Rowan hadn’t known she was loved, because she had. In a lot of ways, her childhood looked picture perfect, but she always felt like the add-on. The last child who hadn’t been planned and the one who got lost in the shuffle. Her baby would never feel that way.

“That’s good. I don’t know why I asked.” She hoped it didn’t sound like her heart was in her throat, because it was. It really was.

Rowan tried not to let herself feel down the next couple days. She hadn’t known what she expected Breck’s answer to be the other night, but for some reason, it bothered her more than she thought it would. Which wasn’t fair to him. He didn’t know why she asked and she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. In addition to her worries over how he would feel about the baby, there was a hefty dose of fear mixed in too. Another thing that wasn’t his fault, and she had to stop taking it out on him.

Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t.

It didn’t help that she spent half her mornings vomiting and trying to hide it. She’d heard people talk about glowing when they were pregnant. She must be doing something wrong because she didn’t feel like she was glowing at all. How could one glow when she spent the first part of every morning with her head in a toilet?

Rowan went upstairs to see if Breck had any towels for her to wash. The door was cracked open and he sat on the floor with Ace in his lap.

“I’m sorry you don’t have much space in here, girl.” He rubbed the orange cat’s fur.

“I bet Rowan would love you if she gave you a chance. Don’t tell her I said this, but she can be pretty damn stubborn.”

Rowan’s heart did an unexpected flip watching him with his cat. He loved her. Yes, it was something simple, but she felt her eyes begin to sting. Damn it. Why did being pregnant make her cry so much?

“Hey. Are you spying on me?” Breck set Ace down and came to the door.

Rowan tried to hold back her tears. “No, I just…I needed to see if you had laundry and I didn’t want to interrupt.”
Interrupt him with his cat?
Could she have thought of a more ridiculous answer?

“It’s okay. Ace doesn’t mind sharing,” he winked.

“You’re so bad. Give me your towels so I can wash them and then scrub those words out of my head.”

Breck laughed and she realized she was smiling too. He grabbed the laundry basket, but didn’t give it to her. “I’ll wash these—it doesn’t feel right to have you do it. Then I’m going to head out for a little while. Maybe go see Jace or something.”

“It’s not your job to wash the towels.”

“Thanks, but I already knew that. It’s called being nice. I don’t do it often so if I were you, I’d take advantage.”

She laughed again and stepped out of the way. Breck closed the door behind him and she felt a little stab of guilt for Ace. First her hormones and now pregnancy suddenly made her a cat lover. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to let her out…but then what if she got a guest who was allergic?

She followed Breck downstairs to the washer. She watched him as he turned it on, and started to throw clothes in. The muscles in his back flexed and turned as he did. She’d had her nails in those very same muscles…
Stop that!

Rowan diverted her eyes as he tossed in one of her deep red towels. , She noticed a white T-shirt mixed in. “Oh, grab that. You don’t want the red to bleed.”

“Thanks, Mom.” He winked at her.

If only he knew.

She let him be after that and Breck did as he said, started the laundry and then left. Once she knew he was gone, she went back up the stairs. Rowan thought of the cat behind the door and her insides softened again. She’d show Ace she wasn’t as stubborn as Breck said she was. She only felt a little bit of guilt opening the door. Ace came right to it and she sat in the hallway, the cat on her lap.

She’d always been more of a dog person, but she let Ace nuzzle her and the cat purred. She licked Rowan’s hand and she twinged a little at its rough tongue.

“None of that.”

As though the cat understood, she sat back down and Rowan continued to pet her.

“Don’t tell your daddy I was playing with you, okay? I’ll even let you out, if you want.” The cat purred louder.

Daddy
. For the first time, she really wondered what it would be like if things were different. If she and Breck were different.

Chapter Eight

Breck walked into Jace’s building to see him sitting on the receptionist desk talking to Betsy. They must not have heard him come in, so he watched them for a moment. Jace looked relaxed…more relaxed than Breck had seen him recently. They’d always had a fun time together, but he often felt there was something missing when it came to Jace. Like he held people at arm’s length.

But here he sat, relaxed as ever, talking to the woman Breck had hardly heard mutter more than a few words. The one who turned red every time she spoke to Jace.

“You’ll win. I have no doubt in my mind.” Betsy’s voice was soft…shy, but she couldn’t sound more sincere.

“I sure hope so, B. I’d love to have your kind of faith. I just… I couldn’t handle not coming through for this family.”

“You will,” she whispered. “I know it.”

It sounded crazy, but there was almost something intimate about the two of them. Or maybe
intimate
wasn’t the right word, but like they were on the same wavelength—not something he would expect with them. They couldn’t be more different.

Breck cleared his throat. Jace stood slowly and turned. His tie was loose and he looked worried—not the kind of expression he was used to seeing on his friend’s face. Confidence, yes. Carefree, that too. But not this.

“Hey man. I just thought I’d stop by for a few, but if you’re busy, I can come back.”

“Nah. We’re good. I have a little while.” Jace stepped toward his office.

Breck glanced at Betsy, but the woman was already deep in her computer again. He followed Jace, closing the door. Jace sat in the black chair behind his oversize desk and Breck took the one for guests.

“How ya doing? Everything okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. Just having an off day.” His tone was tight in a way that Breck knew meant he was ready for this part of the conversation to be over. Breck wasn’t one to get into people’s business, but Jace had done so with him and hey: payback was a bitch.

“Looking awful cozy with your assistant. There something going on you want to talk about?”

Jace’s blue eyes narrowed. “You saw me with my date the other night, right?”

Breck crossed his arms, wondering about the hostility in his friend’s voice, but deciding not to call him on it. “Was just asking, man.”

Jace sighed, which was about the only sign of weakness the man ever showed. “Sorry. I’m just tired of people giving me a hard time where she’s concerned. I’m not stupid and I know she has something for me, but I’m also not dumb enough to do anything about it. She’s not my type, and besides, I wouldn’t do anything to screw up our working relationship. She’s become…I guess she’s become a friend in a way. She takes care of shit around here and that’s something I appreciate.”

Breck wondered if his friend meant she took care of him.

“What about you and Rowan? If anyone should be answering questions about a woman it’s you.”

Breck wasn’t real fond of having the tables turned on him. He considered his words. He couldn’t say what Jace had, that Rowan wasn’t his type. One might think she wasn’t. He’d been with actresses and socialites, but Rowan was more his type than those women. “Nothing to tell. I told you why I’m here and it’s not for women. She has a room and I’m using it. I could say the same thing about Rowan, that we’ve become friends and that’s all there is or ever will be.”

And even that was stretching it. He wasn’t sure Rowan liked him as much as he liked her. He seemed to piss her off half the time, but when she let go—he refused to believe that was anything but real. And even though he knew it wouldn’t lead anywhere, he wanted more of that.

Like I had with Bailey?

He’d chased her. They were young and so different, but he’d wanted her and didn’t give up until she gave in. And then he’d gone and fallen in love. Thought she had too. He would have given her anything, but she’d obviously wanted someone more than him. Despite the ring he’d put on her finger and the changes he made for her.

He should run. Run right now, but damn if he didn’t feel like it. He knew what he was doing. He’d never let a woman get to him again like Bailey had.

“Where you at over there, man?” Jace interrupted his thoughts.

“Nowhere. So what’s up? I’m itching to do something.” He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been inactive for so long; he didn’t count fishing or going out to Lucky’s.

Breck was restless.

“I feel like an ass because you came all the way out here, but I’m slammed right now. I have some work to do on this case and some stuff to take care of at home.”

“No worries. I get it.”

“We’re still on for poker at Rowan’s though. I can’t wait to kick your ass.”

Breck laughed at that. Hard. “You wish, man.” He pushed to his feet. “I’m going to head out. I’ll see you soon. Make sure you bring your wallet and don’t feel too attached to the cash inside.” Though he knew they wouldn’t really play for money, that didn’t stop him from giving Jace a hard time.

The other man stood too, stopped Breck from leaving by saying, “Hey…about Rowan. I was just giving you hell. If you’ve changed your mind and you think you might be interested in her…”

Breck didn’t speak immediately, let Jace’s statement hang in the air. It surprised him that Jace went there. Wondered what would make him think Breck might want something more.

Did he? He thought for a second. No—he loved his life and the freedom it allowed him. He didn’t want that to change.

“I think you’ve been working a little too hard. You’re getting delusional.” Breck winked. They shook hands and Jace walked him to the door.

“Catch ya later,” Jace said.

“You, too. Bye Betsy.” The woman gave him a wave in response and Breck left, wondering if Rowan would let him drag her out of the house.

The whole way back to the bed and breakfast, Breck tried to think of some way to get Rowan to go do something with him. Because he was bored. Because he didn’t know the town very well—which was a ridiculous excuse, since it was so small. But he knew he’d need some manpower behind him if he wanted to get her out, because Rowan had been standoffish with him since the night they went to Lucky’s.

Probably because I never know when to stop.
The flirting had been stupid, but he’d enjoyed it. And he still owed her for getting the upper hand when they were flirting too. Breck always cashed in on his chips.

When he walked inside the house, she was just putting the vacuum away. “Let’s go do something.” He leaned against the wall next to her.

“What? I don’t have time. I’m trying to get the house together. Remember? We have visitors coming.”

He didn’t call her on the use of
we
.

“Not for a couple days, right? I’m going stir crazy.”

She crossed her arms and he waited for the foot tapping to start. Such a mother hen, she was.

“Why is that? Because there aren’t ladies here for you to choose from?”

Breck leaned forward. “You keep bringing that up and I’m going to be forced to believe you’re jealous, Houdini.”

She rolled her eyes. “I have never met a man more immature than you. And I’m heading out. I need to go grocery shopping.”

That wasn’t what he had in mind, but at this point, he’d take it. “I’ll come too.”

Surprised sparked in her eyes. “You don’t want to go
grocery shopping
with me.”

“Of course I do.” Which was only a partial lie. Grocery shopping didn’t really sound like what he had in mind, especially when he was this close to Rowan. She bit her bottom lip. He wanted to do that for her. Nibble it and kiss her like he’d done that first night.

Not the way your thoughts should be going, man.

“No, you don’t, but if you’re really that bored, you’re welcome to come with me.”

He smiled. “Great. I need to get some food for Ace too.”

At that, Rowan’s cheeks tinged pink.

“What?”

“I put that on the list…you know, just in case,” she said.

Breck wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to him. “You better be careful. You know they say the way to a man’s heart is through his cat. Are you trying to win me over, Houdini?”

“Yes. I actually can’t think of anything I’d rather have than to make you all mine, Breck. It’s all I ever think of or dream about. You’re
Breck Wilder
, after all. You date celebrities. Win poker. You’re famous. A woman would be nuts not to want you.”

“Smart ass,” Breck mumbled, biting back his smile. Yes, this woman was definitely killing him, but right now, it didn’t feel like such a bad way to go.

…

“Go long!” Rowan looked behind her at Breck, who held a box of rice in his hand.

He wouldn’t.
“You wouldn’t.”

He cocked an eyebrow. Great. Now he would, just to prove a point. “Breck, don’t.”

That’s when the box of rice came flying in the air toward her. Rowan moved the cart slightly and the box landed inside. She was going to kill him. Or die of mortification. “You’re embarrassing me. Stop that.”

“No one’s in this aisle. We’re good. What else we need?” He tried to grab the list from her, but she pulled it back.

“You are
not
getting my list so you can keep throwing things in the cart.” What kind of parents would they be, running and tossing things in a grocery store?

“Then I’ll throw things that aren’t on your list in the cart. Come on, Row. Have a little fun.” He gave her his half grin. Rowan’s heart sped up. Her hands suddenly felt shaky.

Breck took advantage by ripping the list out of her hand and starting to jog away. Yes, there was a grown man running in the store and she automatically started chasing him. The whole time, she was wondering what in the heck she was doing. She didn’t do things like this. Or she
shouldn’t
, anyway. She was an adult. Had just started a business. Was pregnant…but still she couldn’t make herself stop. Couldn’t hide the smile that spread across her face, either. What did he do to her?

Breck skidded around the corner in front of her and turned.

“I have the cart. That’s not fair!” She couldn’t stop herself from yelling. But she also couldn’t contain the laugher bubbling out of her mouth. As she turned the corner, a bag of pasta came flying at her and she caught it.

“Stop,” she tried to say between her fit of giggles.

Breck kept going and she kept following. Rowan couldn’t believe how much she was enjoying herself. Who knew a game of catch in the grocery store could be so fun? Obviously Breck, that’s who.

He threw a few more things from his aisle in the cart.

“Now you know why I’m not having kids. I
am
one,” he said playfully as she rounded the next corner. The comment struck her hard, though, making Rowan stumble. She lost control of the cart and plowed into a display of Hamburger Helper. All the boxes went tumbling to the floor.

One of the grocery workers approached them at the same time. Her whole body felt hot and she wanted to crawl into a corner and never come out. Talk about embarrassing. And yet…she was
still
smiling.

“I’m so sorry,” she tried to tell him, but the man had a smile on his face. Great. He knew what they’d been doing. “I’ll help you.”

Breck had already walked back and grabbed a few of the boxes and held them in his arms.

The jerk had on a smile from ear to ear.

“That’s okay,” the worker said. “Let’s just try to behave in the store from now on.”

The man winked and she realized she knew him. Brandon used to be her oldest brother’s best friend. She’d had the biggest crush on him growing up—used to dream about being the princess that Brandon would come to rescue.

And he’d known it. The look on his face told her he might be remembering it now, too.

Breck stepped up beside Rowan and put an arm around her. “I’ll try to keep her under control next time.”

Rowan waited for him to drop his arm, but he didn’t. “Hey. That wasn’t me, it was you!” She pinched his side and then wondered what the heck she was doing. Being around him made her want to let loose and be silly in a way she’d never experienced before.

“Who had the cart?” he countered.

“Who started it?” When she realized how they sounded, she shook her head. “Now you’re turning
me
into a kid.” Rowan tried to step away, but he held her. Gripped her a little tighter, even.

“I’m Brandon, an old friend of Row’s.” Brandon held out his hand. Breck had to pull his arm from around her to shake it.

“Breck Wilder,” was all he said.

Brandon looked back and forth between them. “It was good seeing you again, Rowan. Maybe we can grab a bite to eat sometime.”

Her inner thirteen-year-old squealed, but how could she say yes to Brandon when she was pregnant with another man’s baby? “Yeah…maybe…”

Before she could say anything else, Breck cut in. “Since it was my fault I’ll help Brandon here clean up this mess.”

Rowan was mulling over the tightness in his voice as Breck stepped between her and Brandon and began to clean up.

The second they were done, Breck was steering her away. “I think that guy likes you,” he whispered close to her ear. Too close. It made Rowan shiver. She closed her eyes briefly, remembering how his stubble felt against her face.

“No, he’s just a friend of my brother’s.” The very same brother who’d been too busy to meet her in Vegas, leaving her right in Breck’s lap.

“No, Houdini. He wants you. Believe me. Looks a little too soft for you, though.”

Rowan glanced his way and saw he had his arms crossed. “You keep saying things like that and I’m going to think you’re jealous, Breck.” Ha! Two could play at that game. The game she only seemed to play with him.

Breck didn’t rattle, just shrugged. “Maybe I am. Doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything about it.” Then, as if he hadn’t just rocked her to her core, he looked at the list. “Let’s finish shopping before you get us in any more trouble.”

She had a feeling she was already there.