Luck of the Draw (10 page)

What would she do if other people found out before Breck? Sidney and Betsy were different. She would have exploded had she not told
someone
, but still, it felt wrong. She’d even withheld telling her brothers.

“It wasn’t a date. We went grocery shopping and had dinner.”

“You’re right. It doesn’t sound like a date.”

Rowan’s head snapped up at Sidney’s words. What was wrong with her evening out with Breck?

“It sounds like you’re married!” Both of her friends let go into a fit of giggles. “Rowan and Breck, sitting in a tree,” Sidney teased.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.” Rowan crossed her arms and pretended to be mad at her friend. Still, something inside her ached at those words. They were what she always wanted—to meet a guy and become friends with him, fall in love, get married, have babies they both wanted more than anything in the world, and to live happily ever after. A little Disney movie, yes, but dreams could be that, she figured. Reality didn’t seem to work that way.

“I’m scared,” she admitted.

Betsy was the first to make it to her side, followed by Sidney. “I know I can, but I’m freaked to do it alone, and I’m just as scared to tell Breck. I want him to be there for the baby, but I want him to
want
it, not do it because it’s an obligation. Every day I feel more guilty for not telling him, but when he finally starts to be real with me, he goes into another reason he doesn’t ever want to settle down.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Sidney knelt beside her. Betsy set her hand on Rowan’s shoulder.

“He treats everything like it’s a game or a contest. It’s hard to know when he’s being real. I’m so scared of not telling him and causing both Breck and our baby to lose out on something important, but I’m scared of telling him too. What if I do and he turns the baby away? Or sticks around, but our baby always feels like more of an obligation to him than a little person he loves?”
What if I do?

It was Betsy who replied. “You’re going to be the best mom in the world, Rowan McKinley. I know it. Whatever happens, your baby will be so very lucky to have you for her mama.” The passion behind Betsy’s words surprised her. They felt more personal—like Betsy was talking about more than just Rowan.

“Thank you.” Rowan hugged both of her friends. “I keep getting all emotional!”

“You have a pretty good reason.” Sidney squeezed her hand. “I don’t want to push you, Row, but I really think you need to tell him. I kept my feelings from myself and from Kade and we could have missed out on so much. I don’t want you to make the same mistake.”

“This is different,” Rowan added. “I’m not in love with Breck.”

Sidney gave her a sad smile. “You never know what the future will hold. I remember you telling me what you want in a man and maybe you could have it here. If not…well, I think you’ll feel better once you tell him about the baby. It’s important, Freckles.”

Rowan nodded. Scared or not, she needed to figure all this out. Rowan looked at the clock. “Oh. I need to get a move on. There’s a guest coming in soon and I want to make sure everything is ready.”

“I need to go, too. I have a dress to finish before Kade gets home tonight.” The smile on her friend’s face warmed Rowan’s heart. She loved seeing how in love Sidney and Kade were. If there were ever two people meant to be, it was them. They read each other like no one she’d ever met. They complemented each other. Not at all like her and Breck. They were opposites, where Sidney and Kade fit together perfectly.

“What are your plans?” Rowan asked Betsy as they walked toward the door.

She shrugged. “Not much… I have something I need to take care of and then I’m going to work late with Jace tonight. He’s on a tough case.”

“Oh…” Rowan didn’t know how to reply to that. She didn’t know Jace and Betsy spent time together afterhours, unless it was with their group of friends.

“It’s just work.” But Betsy didn’t meet her eyes. Her brown hair fell into her face, and Rowan immediately felt guilty. The woman was opening up to them so much more, and she didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.

“I know. He’s very lucky to have you.” And he was. “Now shoo. I have to get to work.”

They did exactly what she asked, but a part of her wished they hadn’t. Sidney was going home to the love of her life—her best friend. Betsy had a meaningful work relationship with Jace. Rowan hated it, but she sat there feeling left out all over again.

Chapter Ten

“You’re really a poker player? Like, on TV?” The woman sitting next to him asked a different version of the question for the third time. She was an attractive enough woman with dark hair and big brown eyes, but he wasn’t in the mood to chat with the guest.

Breck groaned, looked across the table for Rowan’s help, but she wouldn’t make eye contact with him. She sat there pushing her food around her plate, her lips turned down, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she didn’t feel well.

Next he looked at Shakes. The old man had no problem glaring at Breck with annoyance.

What the hell?

“Sure do,” Breck finally answered. He wished like hell Rowan had never told her. “I win them more times than not, too— Ouch.” His shin ached from where Shakes had just kicked him. “What—”

“This sure is a good dinner, Rowan,” Shakes interrupted him.

“It is. Everything you make is incredible.” Breck’s shin still hurt, but he took the time to compliment her, hoping it would change the subject.

“He’s been covered by ESPN multiple times too. He’s actually quite famous in the poker world.” Rowan still didn’t look at him as she spoke. He was about to call her on it when their guest piped in again.

“I’ve always wanted to learn how to play poker. Maybe you could teach me?”

Damn. He hated getting pushed into teaching poker. It might sound crazy, but it was something he was very particular about. He didn’t like teaching just anyone. It was almost like giving away a part of himself.

But he wanted this to go well for Rowan too. He knew she needed business and word of mouth was huge. He’d hate to turn the other woman down and have it somehow hurt Rowan. “I’d love to, sweetheart.” Breck smiled at her.

Rowan pushed to her feet so hard, her chair almost hit the floor. “If you’ll excuse me. I need to finish dessert.”

By the time the swinging kitchen door flipped closed, Breck was standing as well. He took one step toward her when Shakes spoke. “Let her be, there, young stud. I think she needs a few minutes to herself.”

He sat back down, listening to the other man but not liking it one bit. There was something going on here and Breck wanted to get to the bottom of it.

After dinner Rowan swept in with dessert and went right back out again. His poker admirer didn’t stop talking long enough for Breck to slip away. When Houdini came in again she set down a deck of cards. “I’ll take care of these dessert dishes so you can get to your game.”

Damn it. There would be no getting out of it now. “You wanna play with us, too, Row?”

“No thanks. You guys have fun.” She gave him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. He cocked his head, trying to see if he could read her tell—see what was going on behind those big green eyes of hers—but she turned too quickly, slipping out of the room.

“I have a feeling you’re going to be a
very
good teacher.” The honeyed voice snapped him back like a rubber band. It almost shot him to the past, to the games he played and all the stops he made. She was like so many of the women he’d run across. Flinging her hair back and forth, smiling for no reason. It used to be he’d played the game right back over the years, or hell, sometimes started it, but now he couldn’t get into it.

Breck spent an hour teaching cards to the woman, but his mind wasn’t on the game. This wasn’t what he came to Shamrock Falls for, and when his cell rang, Jace’s number flashing across the screen, Breck stood. “I’m sorry to cut this short. It’s a business call that I have to take.”

And then he was gone. As soon as he was behind the kitchen door he hit silence. He’d call Jace back later, but Breck still slipped through the door that led to the wraparound porch. He wanted to be sure the visitor didn’t follow him.

When he stepped around the corner, he saw Shakes was with Rowan. The older man hugged her, his embrace that of a father. Rowan’s back was to Breck, a blanket wrapped around her, and at the sight of her, he felt some of the tension ease from his body.

“You’ll be okay, kiddo. You’re stronger than you know,” he heard Shakes say. At the same time, Breck’s eyes met his. The man squeezed Rowan’s shoulder.

“Thank you, Shakes. I don’t know what I would do without you,” Rowan told him.

Another hug and then he disappeared into the night.

“Hey.” Breck walked her way.

“Hey. You done playing with your friend?”

“She’s not my friend.”
Click, click, click.
Everything started to snap into place. Rowan was upset because she thought he was flirting with the woman. Breck paused between her and the door. This wasn’t a good thing. His instincts tightened around him like a noose, tugging him toward going back inside.

In the past, Bailey was the only woman whose jealousy might have gotten to him. Bailey, whom he’d loved. Whom he’d given up everything to marry. The very same woman who pulverized his heart. And now here he was with Rowan, another woman who he’d have to leave. He had tournaments arranged with sponsors counting on him and a life out there that didn’t involve settling.

But damned if he didn’t take another step toward Rowan. And then another. He didn’t know where this was coming from, but he didn’t want her hurting—or angry. “That was nothing in there. I’m not sure what you’re thinking—”

“I’m not thinking anything,” she said, cutting him off. “It’s not my business. I was only asking a question.”

Ah, his stubborn little magician. Of course she wouldn’t admit anything. “Okay, so you weren’t—not that one could blame you.” The look she shot him as he reached her made him see this wasn’t the time to play around.

Breck leaned against the wood railing as she did. There wasn’t another house for miles. Just darkness and what he knew, in the light, would be green surrounded by clouds. “Just so you know, I didn’t want to teach her a thing. I wanted her to leave me alone, but I worried it could mess something up for you. I know you were excited to have a guest. Figured being nice could only be a good thing for you.”

She was silent for a few moments and he wondered if he’d gotten it all wrong. If he somehow just came out of this looking like a cocky jerk again. Finally, she spoke. “It’s not my business,” Rowan reiterated. “But…thanks.”

The vulnerability in her voice flipped his insides. He cared about this woman. A lot. Their friendship had grown to mean something to him. And despite the fact that his whole body became aware the second she entered a room or that he noticed every day how beautiful she was—or perhaps because of it—friendship would be all they could have. He needed to make sure she knew that.

“Like I said earlier, Houdini. Women and me? It’s a no go. It never turns out well and—”

She turned her head, looking embarrassed. “Don’t do that. Please? I’m just having an off night. I don’t need you to say anything to make me feel better.”

Rowan turned to walk away, but Breck reached out for her arm. She stopped, sighed, and turned to him. Jesus, she really was beautiful with all those dark red curls. “Maybe I need to say it for me.”

There was no maybe about it. He liked this woman in a way he hadn’t let himself in a long time. Did things to hear her laugh and enjoyed being around her. When was the last time he actually liked spending time with anyone? Really liked it for reasons that weren’t physical or because it was one of his buddies? When was the last time being with another person didn’t make him feel lonelier than being by himself?

“I’ve had exactly one real relationship in my life, Houdini, and it ended in disaster. Other than that, it’s all been a good time. I like the fun. Need the fun. The rest is too much of a risk.”

She seemed to mull those words over for a bit. “You’re not willing to take that risk for anything? I’m not saying I’m asking, but…”

“No.” He suddenly hated that word.

“I guess it’s a good thing you drive me batty, then. You’re too much work for me to fall for, anyway.” Her words were playful, but it didn’t completely ring true. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking, which after what he just said to her, he had no right to hope for at all.

“I’m a damn good fishing buddy, though, and if you ever need anyone to go grocery shopping with you, I’m your guy.”

“I think I’ll pass on that second part.”

“Your loss.” He shrugged.

“It’s getting cold. I’m gonna go inside. I need to make sure my guest doesn’t need anything else.”

Breck nodded and Rowan made it all the way to the door before she turned around. “I’m not saying me, Breck. I want to make sure you know that, but…but it’s a shame. There are some things out there that are worth the risk. In fact, everything that matters is.”

She didn’t give him a chance to reply, just sneaked back into the house, closing the door quietly behind her.

Breck felt lonelier now than he ever had before.

…

“We might have lost at pool, but we’re kicking ass and taking names tonight.”

Rowan rolled her eyes and Breck leaned forward and pulled all the chips toward them. Jace, Betsy, Kade, and Sidney sat at the table with them. It was only their group at the house since her guest had left.

“You mean
you’re
winning. I’m just going along for the ride. I didn’t even know how to play until you taught me.” For the two days since their chat outside, things had been awkward for them. She’d felt strange and unsure of how to act. Breck must have too, but he overcompensated by being even more silly and flirtatious than usual, which resulted in her feeling more nervous. It hadn’t worked.

She still couldn’t even say what had gone down between them—if anything. What she did know was she had no business saying what she had to him or noticing the little flecks of darker blue in his eyes. How the hair on his face looked a shade lighter than the dark hair on his head. How he smelled and how his muscles moved.

Or sneaking into his room to visit Ace when he was out, just because it made her feel closer to him. She didn’t need to feel close to him. Or maybe she did, since they would forever be connected by the life inside her.

Shame blanketed her with another layer.

“Are you kidding?” Breck pulled her out of her thoughts. “You’re doing great. You catch on quickly, Houdini.”

Poker was what had finally snapped them out of it. Breck reminded her that Betsy, Jace, Kade, and Sidney were coming over for a game and asked if she wanted him to teach her a few things before they showed up. They’d practiced for a few hours before their friends arrived.

He was in his element here, she noticed.

“Ever think that’s because you’re a professional, you ass?” Jace tossed his cards to the table.

“I thought you said you knew my secrets? That you could beat me.”

Jace scowled and Breck continued. “Come on, buddy. You’re not the only one losing to us. You’re just losing a little worse than the rest.” Breck dodged a poker chip as Jace tossed it at him.

“Yeah, man. Even I’m beating you,” Kade added before a chip flew at him too. The men started bickering and thumping chests like only guys could do. Rowan enjoyed watching them. It was almost seamless the way Breck fit in with Jace and Kade. She expected it with Jace since they were friends, but it was almost like he’d known Kade forever as well.

She had a feeling that was a sign that their poker game was over. Her guess was confirmed when Breck leaned back in his chair, his shoulder brushing against hers and said, “So how’s work going, Jace?”

Betsy’s eyes dashed to Jace and then away. It was strange watching them, Rowan thought. They obviously worked well together and even though she knew Betsy had it bad for him, there was more than a crush there. Like they were friends in a way that the rest of them didn’t see.

Which she assumed had to do with them working together. It made sense.

“Eh. You know how it goes,” Jace finally replied.

“Finding enough work to keep you busy here?”

“More than.” Jace took a drink, and Rowan watched Breck for any flare of interest. He’d told her he had his law degree. Was it something he’d ever want to do or did he love poker too much? Not that there was anything wrong with that, but she wanted to know more about him. Everything about him. And not just for their baby, either.

“What about you, Freckles?” Kade cut in. “Do you realize we’re sitting in your dream right now? You did it. We couldn’t be more proud of you.” He reached over and grabbed Sidney’s hand. Her friend mouthed
love
you
to her.

Rowan’s eyes began to mist. They
were
sitting right in the middle of her dream, weren’t they? There were times she still couldn’t believe it. Things might not have picked up just the way she’d like yet, but she’d still done it.

And she had even more amazing things she’d be doing in the future.

Rowan thanked Kade, suddenly feeling horrible that he didn’t know the truth. This was her friend. Breck was the father. What was she doing lying to everyone she loved so much?

She was even more surprised when Breck reached over and squeezed her knee. She jumped. It was something so simple, just a way for him to say he was proud of her too. She could see Kade doing it to Sidney and no matter how small, it held an intimacy that suddenly made one of the tears actually roll down her face.

“You’re leaking,” Jace told her.

“Jace!” Betsy screeched and then she smacked his arm.

The whole table went silent. Rowan would do something like that. Sidney would, but it felt so out of character for Betsy…but pretty incredible too. Betsy didn’t look like she thought so, though. Rowan had never seen her face so red.

“First you’re keeping me in line at the office and now here too. I think I’m going to have to give you a raise, B.” Jace looked over at her and winked.

The breath Rowan didn’t know she held rushed out. Bless Jace for making her outburst okay. Kade was the one to laugh first, followed by Sidney, Rowan and Breck. She didn’t feel like crying anymore. She was scared out of her mind and possibly the world’s biggest liar, but she felt pretty damn lucky to be in the same room as these people right now.