Loving Protector (8 page)

“You’ve got your eye on this young
upstart.”

The colonel stood up slowly, standing a
full head and shoulders taller than the Earl. “I think you are in your cups,
sir,” said the colonel. “And as such are causing my great aunt and Miss Haywood
offence. I suggest you go and sleep it off.”

“Your days are numbered,” said the Earl.
“Everyone is talking about what happened at Almacks and how the Duke of
Midchester denounced you as nouveau riche. Soon you will not be welcome
anywhere.”

“You say that as if it matters, Lord Garton.
To me it does not. However, I am sure that for you it does matter, so I suggest
you behave with more propriety in future.”

The Earl was outclassed and he probably
knew it, but before he left, he had one more volley. “Do not think, Windebank
that the His Majesty’s admiration for your war record will protect you forever.
He is, as you know, notoriously fickle with his friendship.”

“Once again,” said the colonel, coldly,
“you say that as if it matters.”

“Brook,” said Lady Bedlington in low
tones, when the Earl had staggered away and the colonel sat down again, “please
be careful. If what you just said is related to the king, you may well find
yourself out of favour.”

“I think I’ve made it plain I do not
care,” said the colonel.

“Perhaps you do not, for yourself, but I
hope you care for Calista’s sake. After all, it was you who wanted her to be
presented to the King.  Are you going to spoil it for her before she even
has the chance to be presented to him?”

 “You are right, as always, Aunt
Agatha,” said the colonel. “Now, let us eat lunch and forget all this
unpleasantness.”

The colonel and his aunt exchanged a
meaningful glance, and Calista felt, not for the first time, that she was a
spectator, coming into a theatre half way through the play.

“I do not mind if I do not meet the
King,” said Calista. “I would much rather live in a society where a man is
judged by his actions rather than by his birth.”

“Nevertheless,” said Lady Bedlington,
sternly but kindly, “you shall meet him and Brook will behave. Really, child,
it is bad enough that he comes out with reactionary statements. People forgive
him because he’s a soldier and they’re allowed to be blunt. But I fear his
influence on you is a malign one and that we shall all be thrown in the tower.”

Calista laughed, because Lady Bedlington
was quite clearly joking. “I promise I will not tell the King that I did not
care to meet him.”

“I’m relieved to hear it. Now if I could
just extract the same promise from my great nephew, I can attend the ball
without feeling on tenterhooks.”

“I shall be the perfect gentleman,” said
the colonel. He was looking at Calista with something like admiration.

After that luncheon was a lively affair.
Both the colonel and his great aunt were tremendously witty, to the point that
Calista could barely keep up with them. All she knew was that she smiled and
laughed more than she had for a very long time. It was as if a dark cloud had
lifted from above her head. Deep down she knew the cause of the cloud, and
feared its return, but she would not think about it. Not when she felt so
happy.

Chapter
Eight

The days until the ball at St. James
Palace seemed to drag by. The colonel was often absent, overseeing the
renovations to his own home. Blanche had half a dozen invitations, insisting Evelyn
accompany her, but leaving Calista behind. Not that Calista minded about that.
Time without her step-sister was spent happily making the most of Lady
Bedlington’s library.

Both evenings, Calista and Lady
Bedlington ate dinner alone, as Blanche and Evelyn had been invited elsewhere,
and the colonel and Mr. Benedict returned late from their work. Calista
suspected, without proof, that Blanche was deliberately keeping Evelyn and Mr.
Benedict apart.

On the morning of the ball, she looked
out into the garden and saw Evelyn and Mr. Benedict talking earnestly. She
could not hear what was being said, but Mr. Benedict seemed to be entreating
Evelyn over something. Evelyn kept shaking her head, and trying to walk away,
only for Mr. Benedict to pull her back and continue his entreaties. Finally, he
drew her into his arms and kissed her passionately. Calista backed away from
the window, ashamed to have been watching them at such a private moment, only
to find that she met with warm, strong resistance.

“Good morning, Calista,” said the
colonel.

She spun around, and realized she was
barely inches from him, but with nowhere to go. Not that she really wanted to
go anywhere. “Good morning, colonel.” Unbidden, the image of the colonel taking
her into his arms and kissing her, as Mr. Benedict had kissed Evelyn, came to
mind. “I was just looking out to see if the weather was fair.”

“It looked rather stormy to me,” he
replied.

“Do you think so? I really believe we
will have sunshine.”

“Have you ever been caught in a summer
storm, Calista? It can be quite exhilarating.”

Whatever they were discussing, Calista
was convinced it had very little to do with the weather. “I cannot say I that
have, colonel.”

“Mr. Benedict and Mrs. Haywood seem to
be caught in one now.”

“I think,” said Calista, happy to change
the subject, but still trying to eradicate the image of the colonel kissing her
from her mind, “that he wants to be with her, but that I am holding her back.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Not deliberately,” said Calista,
hastily. “She will lose papa’s annuity if she remarries and she is afraid I
won’t be provided for.”

“Then we shall have to find you someone
to marry, so that she can be happy.”

Her heart dropped then. How could he
talk so casually about her marrying someone else? The answer was simple. He had
no idea how she felt about him, and he did not feel anything for her. He had
been kind to her, that was all. And she still suspected that the only reason he
arranged for her to attend the St. James’ ball was to get back at Blanche for
the slight on his character. “I want Evelyn to be happy,” said Calista. “But I
could not marry the Earl of Garton, not even for that.”

“The Earl?” The colonel frowned. “Is he
still bothering you?”

“He says he wants to marry me. He has
sent several notes to Lady Bedlington to that effect. And to Evelyn. I do not
think he would be kind to me.”

“No, you are right to refuse. He was not
kind to his late wife.” The colonel looked at her for a long time. So long that
she became lost in his eyes, and it felt as if something happened between them.
Or perhaps she just imagined it had. “I promise with my last breath, Calista,
that you will marry someone who is kind to you.”

“Do I have to marry at all?” The idea of
marrying anyone but the colonel was anathema to Calista. She could not begin to
imagine allowing another man to kiss and touch her, not when she loved him so
dearly. “I wondered … Well, the thing is, Lady Bedlington said I would always
have friends and protection. I wondered if I took a job as her companion, then
Evelyn would still be free from worry. I have been too shy to mention it in
case she thought I was being presumptuous and that she really only being kind.
Perhaps you could suggest it to her. Or if not to your great aunt, then to some
other well-born lady. I read well, I can sew and …” 

“You most certainly will not be a paid
companion.” The colonel sounded so uncharacteristically haughty that Calista
feared she had said something outrageous. “Leave things to me. We will find a
way for Harry and Mrs. Haywood to be happy and for you to be protected.”

“You promise that it won’t involve
marriage to the Earl of Garton or anyone like him.” Or marrying anyone else for
that matter, her heart said privately. Calista did not want to hold Evelyn
back, but neither did she want to spend the rest of her life married to a man
she could never love. Her heart would always belong to the colonel.

“You have my word. Shall we shake on
it?” The colonel took her hand in his without waiting for a response. For the
first time neither were wearing gloves. The feel of his warm hands encompassing
hers sent shockwaves through her. Instead of shaking her hand, the colonel
raised it to his lips. If she had thought his touch was shockingly pleasurable,
it was as nothing compared to the heat of his mouth against her bare skin. “I
will see you tonight,” he said. His grey eyes looked strangely heavy, as if he
were in the grip of some emotion that Calista could not fathom.

“Yes.” How one simple word could convey
so much, she did not know. She hoped that he took it at face value, and did not
realize that she was saying yes to giving him her heart and her undying
devotion.

The rest of the day was filled with
visits and final fittings for her ball gown. Standing in front of the mirror,
wearing an exquisite dress of white silk overlaid with lace, with a high waist
and low neckline, Calista barely recognized the woman in the reflection. Her
hair had been set in loose ringlets, piled on top of her head, and then
surrounded by a thick band of silk to match her dress. Wispy ringlets framed
her face.

She rushed to Evelyn’s bedroom, wanting
her to see the transformation. “Evelyn?”

“What is it, dear?” Her step-mother was
lying in the darkened room.

“Evelyn, are you unwell?”

“I have an upset stomach, dearest. I’m
sure I will be fine soon. Oh do light the lantern and let me look at you.”

Calista did as she was bid, then
approached the bed. She was horrified to see that Evelyn really did look ill. “Perhaps
I should not go tonight,” she said.

“You will go to the ball,” said Evelyn
with a wan smile. “I would not have you miss it for the world. You look
beautiful. Just beautiful.”

“Is Blanche here?”

“No, she has gone out to dine with those
two sisters. I was invited too, but … I cannot stand their prattling when I
feel well, let alone when I feel ill.”

“If you need me, you are to send for
me,” said Calista. She felt guilty because as much as she cared about Evelyn’s
welfare, she did not want to miss the ball. Not so much because of the King,
but because the colonel would be there and she wanted him to see her new dress.
If anyone had told her a few weeks before she would care what a man thought of
her attire, she would have laughed at them. Now it seemed to her that
everything hinged on what the colonel thought of her tonight. She did not want
to let him down in front of the King.

“He will think you are the most
beautiful woman he has ever seen,” said Evelyn, perceptively.

“Do you think so?”

“Yes. I am sure of it.”

Calista rushed forward and kissed Evelyn
on the forehead. “I want you to know that if you wish to be with Mr. Benedict,
then you may. You do not have to worry about me.”

“Why? Have you received an offer of
marriage from the colonel?”

“What? Oh no. Of course not. He is going
to help me.”

“In what way?” Evelyn frowned. “If he
has not offered you marriage, dearest, then I hope he has not made a less
reputable offer.”

“No. No, I am sure that is not what he
meant. I asked him if he could find me a position as a companion to a high-born
lady and he said no, but he would make sure that I was protected so that you
and Mr. Benedict could be happy together.”

“Calista … dearest, do take care. You’re
a clever girl, but also very innocent in many ways. When a man offers to
protect you, but does not offer marriage …” Evelyn paused, leaving the rest
unspoken, either out of deference for Calista’s youth, or because she was too
embarrassed to be more explicit. “I am being silly, I’m sure. The colonel has
always behaved with the utmost respect towards you. But if he, or any other man
for that matter, makes you any offer that involves compromising your good name,
you are not to even think about my happiness. You say no, and come straight to
me. Do you promise?”

“I promise.” Suddenly Calista did not
feel so happy in her new dress. Had the colonel been offering her his
protection? She was not so sheltered that she did not know of the actresses and
women of lower birth who enjoyed the protection of the King or other noblemen.
They were spoken of in hushed tones amongst the gentry, with the gossips
repeating the details in tones that managed to sound both outraged and excited
at the same time.  

It did not make sense. If the colonel
did not think it suitable for her to be a paid companion, he was hardly likely
to offer her his protection. Was he? Men and the way their minds worked was
something of a mystery to Calista. Especially men like the colonel, who were
older and much more experienced than the insipid and hesitant young men whom
she met at dances in her own village. And he were offering his protection in
that way, would he really be introducing her to the king? Part of her was still
concerned that his only reason for doing so was to repay Blanche for almost
involving him in a duel. Perhaps Blanche had been right all along, and he was
in love with her. Was it possible that he wanted to marry her step-sister,
whilst keeping Calista as his mistress?

Given that Blanche had overshadowed her
for so many years, it was all too easy for her to think herself into the lesser
role. Blanche got what she wanted. Blanche had men lining up to dance with her,
only dancing with Calista whilst they waited for her step-sister to be free.
Was it possible that the colonel only intended to amuse himself with Calista
until Blanche accepted his offer of marriage?

It will not happen, she told herself
silently as she went downstairs to join Lady Bedlington and the colonel. As
much as she loved him, she would not become his mistress under any terms. She
would much rather starve in the gutter. If he mentioned giving her his
protection again, she would tell him in no uncertain terms that she did not
need it. How could she have been so naïve as to think he meant anything else by
his offer?

She was halfway down the staircase
before she realized he was waiting at the bottom, watching her descend. He was
frowning slightly, but she barely registered that. Dressed in his uniform, with
its tight fitting red jacket, white breeches and highly polished knee-high
boots, he took her breath away. Never had she seen any man look so powerful and
magnificent. All her previous affirmations dissipated under a rush of desire.

It was only after she noticed the way he
looked that she really took note of his frown. She wondered if he did not like
what she wore. Or perhaps it was because she was not Blanche.

“You look breathtaking,” he said, his
eyes watching her intently as she walked down the last few steps.

“Thank you.”

“But you also look sad, Calista. May I
ask why?”

“I am not sad,” she said. It was not
exactly a lie. She was not sad. Only confused, conflicted and overwhelmed with
longing for him. “I am just a little nervous about tonight. I’ve never seen the
King before so I hope I will not do anything to disgrace myself. Or you and
Lady Bedlington.”

“I am sure you will not.”

Lady Bedlington came from the salon into
the hallway. She stopped and looked Calista up and down, but not in an
unpleasant way. “Oh yes, Calista. You do look charming. The King likes pretty
girls, so I am sure he will take to you. You look very handsome, Brook. Now if
someone does not say something nice about my looks, I’ll be inclined to sulk
all evening.”

Lady Bedlington wore a gown of black
satin and lace, decorated with hundreds of shiny black pearls. Calista had no
idea if they were real pearls, but they were certainly spectacular. “You look
lovely,” she said.

“A picture,” said the colonel, kissing
his aunt on the cheek.

“Is the right answer.”

They travelled across London in a fine carriage,
and as they drew nearer to the palace, Calista’s earlier fears melted away to
be replaced by abject fear. She was going to meet the King. What if he hated
her? What if she did say or do the wrong thing? Exactly what did one say to the
King? She knew that one did not speak unless one were spoken to. So that part
should be easy. Only she had a habit, when she was nervous, of needing to fill
silences. She made a mental note not to do that tonight.

They reached St. James Palace around
nine o’clock, approaching it from Pall Mall. The gate house was lit up and it
was thrilling when the carriage drove through the gates. She was going to visit
the Court of St. James!