Loving Protector (7 page)

“Do not say that, Evelyn. Why only the
other day you and I were saying that we should both find happiness again. Have
you forgotten already?”

“No, I have not forgotten, but that
certainty has been replaced by a fear of something bad happening.”

“Lady Bedlington said much the same
thing. Now I feel it. A darkness descending over us.” So dark in fact, that for
a moment Calista thought she sensed it lurking just beyond the bedroom door,
waiting to creep in. She shook her head to eradicate the gloom. “And we are all
being silly. It has been a long, stressful day and we are all tired. Tomorrow
will bring a better day and happier feelings. I know it.”

“I hope so.” Evelyn smiled sadly.

Calista went to her own room and started
to undress. She had told the maid to go to bed, feeling guilty about keeping
the poor girl up so late. For the first time since she had met her step-sister,
she started thinking of her as ‘poor Blanche’. No child should have to live
with the stigma of being illegitimate, especially in such a hypocritical
society. Calista knew of girls from their town who had to go away, returning
many months later looking older and sadder. Some had been sent away from their
parents’ homes permanently.

A few months earlier, she admitted to
herself, she might have been shocked at Evelyn’s youthful behaviour, although
she hoped she would always be sympathetic. Now, because she loved the colonel,
she understood how Evelyn must have felt about Mr. Benedict. The colonel only
had to touch her hand, and through her glove at that, for her to long for his
touch to linger and to turn into something more passionate. At night she had
fevered dreams about him, from which she awoke excited, but also blushing
furiously.

 She could easily understand how
such feelings and emotions could overwhelm a woman so that she forgot to behave
properly and just gave into the desire. Evelyn and Mr. Benedict should have
been allowed to marry. Then there would be no secret shame. It was
reprehensible of her father to have prevented it by withholding the letters,
and reprehensible for Mr. Kirkham to treat Evelyn so badly because of it.
Calista had no doubt that there had been other women for Mr. Kirkham before he
married. Young men were expected to know all about women. Sadly double
standards ruled the day.

On the other hand, Calista thought more
charitably, if Mr. Kirkham loved Evelyn then it must have been hurtful to him to
learn that she had not only given her heart, but also her body, to another man.
She could still not believe that justified him treating her so cruelly over the
years. There was such a thing as forgiveness.

She wondered if Blanche really would be
ruined by such a revelation and conceded that she might well be. Perhaps it
would not have been before their visit to Almacks. Her behaviour with Purbeck
at the ball had already shown her in a bad light. The truth of her birth might
at the very least be one more strike against her in the society to which she so
desperately aspired. It would also ruin Evelyn, and that was something that
Calista did not want to see happen.

“Life is not fair,” she said out loud as
she climbed into bed. “People are not fair.” She sent up a silent prayer that
Evelyn would be safe from censure and that one day she might be able to marry
Mr. Benedict.

Then, as happened so many times last
thing at night, Calista’s thoughts turned to the colonel. She began to wonder
why Lady Bedlington thought he might be in danger. He was a man who was more
than capable of taking care of himself, of that Calista had no doubt. She
wondered where he had gone when he left Almacks. He had not returned to Lady
Bedlington’s as far as she knew.

Instead of going to sleep as she
intended, she went to the window and curled up in the window seat, looking out
in the hopes of seeing him return. With her head rested on the cool window
pane, she began to doze.

It was much later still when she became
vaguely aware of being carried in strong arms to her bed, and then covered with
a blanket. She was sure she dreamed it all, including the gentle kiss on her
lips that followed. She awoke the next morning and found that she was indeed in
bed, with no memory of having got into it herself.

At breakfast, with they took in their
sitting room, Blanche was surprisingly cheerful, and even more surprisingly,
attentive to her mother. “Let me pour your tea, Mama, dearest,” she said,
picking up the teapot. “Would you like some honey for your bread? No, I shall
spread it for you. There.”

“Thank you, dear,” said Evelyn. Whilst
Calista was immediately suspicious about Blanche’s sudden ministrations, Evelyn
seemed relieved. “You are in good spirits this morning.”

“Love has softened me, mama. I
understand now how you felt about Mr. Haywood, and I wish to apologise for my
unkindness. To you too, Calista. I had no idea that love could be so
overwhelming, so all-encompassing. Why, I could become a poet!”

“I’m glad you’re happy,” said Calista,
hiding her own reservations. “Are we to assume Mr. Purbeck is the lucky man?”

“Why of course? Who else?”

“You danced with a lot of handsome men
at the ball last night. Anyone of them might have won your heart.”

“You do say nice things, Calista.
However, despite my popularity at the ball, it is indeed Mr. Purbeck who has my
heart. Our shared troubles have brought us closer together. And you need not
worry. I have written to him this morning, censuring him for his hot-headed
behaviour with the colonel and demanding that he apologise.”

“So are all your thoughts of revenge
gone?” asked Calista.

Blanche laughed heartily at that. “I was
embarrassed and ashamed last night, so do not know what silly things I may have
uttered in the heat of the moment. As if I could have any bearing on Lady
Bedlington’s standing in society. No, I have had time to think and reflect and
I realize that, as she so wisely said, she was paying me a kindness in being
blunt with me. The truth does hurt, I admit that, but I hope it has done me some
good too.”

“I am glad to hear it,” said Evelyn. “I
know you are a good girl at heart, Blanche, and today you have proved it. Has
she not, Calista?”

“Yes. Oh yes, certainly.” Calista was
anything but certain. Blanche was never kind or nice to anyone, and in many
ways Calista preferred that as she knew what she was dealing with. This new
Blanche was a mystery, and as such rather frightening. “Could you pass the
honey, please, Blanche?”

Normally Blanche would tell Calista to
get her own honey. “Of course…” As Blanche lifted up the pot it slipped from
her hand, crashing to the floor and spilling the contents. “Oh, what a fool I
am. Calista, be a dear and call the maid will you? We need more honey. Come on,
Mama, eat up or we shall never be ready to go out walking.”

“Now there’s the Blanche we know and
love,” said Evelyn, with a smile.

“Mama, you are such a tease.”

Calista was not smiling. Despite
Blanche’s apparent volte face, she was still gripped by a sense of unease. She
had no doubt at all that her step-sister had meant every word she said the
night before about bringing Lady Bedlington down.  She had spoken with
cold, calculating anger, not a sudden rush of fury because she felt embarrassed
and ashamed.  It could only be assumed, by Calista at least, even if
Evelyn was fooled, that Blanche had a new game plan.

There was not much chance to speak to
Evelyn alone. The maid arrived to clean up the mess and take away the breakfast
things. Then Blanche was eager to go. “I have ordered a new ball gown, mama,”
she said. “I am told it will be ready this morning.”

“Blanche, I told you we could not afford
anything else. Is this why you are being nice to me?”

“Mama, you hurt me with your distrust. I
told you, I have learned my lesson. Would not a new dress show that you forgive
me?”

“We shall have to see, Blanche. It
depends how much it costs. Also, it is not fair that you should have one when
Calista does not.”

Before anyone could answer, there was a
knock on the door. It was the colonel.

“Good morning. I hope I am not
intruding.”

“Not at all, Colonel,” said Evelyn. “We
were just about to go out walking.”

“I am here to bring extend an
invitation. The king is holding a ball at St. James’ Palace soon and …”

“Oh, mama,” Blanche said, clapping her hands
together. “I told you that I would need a new ball gown.”

“Forgive me for misleading you, Miss
Kirkham. The invitation is for myself, my aunt and one guest. I had hoped that
Miss Haywood would join us.”

“Oh.” Calista put her hands to her face.
“I do not think I could possibly go without Blanche and Evelyn.”

“And you, Miss Kirkham,” said the
colonel pointedly, “would you have such scruples if the invitation included
you?”

“Of course,” said Blanche, coldly. “And
I agree dear Calista must go. Hopefully there will be no one there who saw her
dress last night.” Blanche swept from the room, closely followed by Evelyn.

“Then it is settled,” said the Colonel.
“You will come with us.”

“I am not sure,” said Calista. She could
not help feeling that the colonel had deliberately worded the invitation to
allow Blanche to think she was included. Had he merely done so to get back at
her step-sister for the trouble she had caused him the night before?

Chapter
Seven

“The King does not normally like having his
invitations refused.”

“I am sure that as the king only said
you could bring a guest, he would have no idea I have refused the invitation.”

“And what about me? I know you have
refused.”

“I do not know,” said Calista frowning.
She wanted to ask him, but did not want to seem ungrateful for the invitation.
“I do not wish to cause offence, but …”

“You do not want to go with me?”

“That is not it, colonel. I suppose I
just feel guilty about Blanche. She has longed to meet the King.”

“And no doubt would encourage young
Purbeck to challenge him to a duel if she thinks the king does not like her.”

Calista could not help smiling at that.
She doubted even the foolish Purbeck would dare do such a thing.

“Please say you will come, Calista.” His
voice was gentle and seductive. “My great aunt is very eager to present you to
the King.”

How could Calista explain to him that
seeing the King did not really matter? Only the chance to spend another evening
in the colonel’s company excited her. If only she did not have so many doubts
as to why he had asked her. If only she had the courage to ask him, but she
feared causing offence if she were wrong. It was not the sort of thing one
blurted out when such a kind invitation had been given. Added to which, she was
confused because of her feelings for him. She did not trust her own responses
if he replied that, yes, he had only done it to teach Blanche a lesson. She
might break down in tears in front of him, and then he would no doubt despise
her.

“I’m waiting for your answer,” he said.

“Thank you for your kind invitation. I
would like to meet the King.” Let him think that was her only interest in the
evening.  That way she would not be laying herself open to him.

His eyes narrowed slightly. “Good. Then
it is settled. I have to spend the day at my house, working on the plans with
Mr. Benedict. I will see you at dinner tonight, perhaps.” He bowed and went
towards the door, then turned back. “If I have said something to offend you,
Calista, then I am sorry. Or perhaps it was because of last night?”

“Last night?”

“With my father calling me nouveau
riche. No doubt it made you think differently about me.”

“No. Not at all. I do not see why it
even matters.”

“It does in Almacks. And in most of what
we call society.”

“Is that why you left?”

“No, I left because Lady DeVilliers
asked me to, to help defuse the situation. One thing I learned in the army is
that sometimes one has to know when to retreat and when to advance.”

“It was not fair that you should have to
leave and Purbeck did not.”

“He’s a hot headed child. Such behaviour
in him is more forgivable than it would have been in a man of my age. Though he
is now on borrowed time. He will not survive many more such outbursts.”

“That is what your great aunt said to
Blanche.”

“She is right. Already people are
talking about it, and her name is connected. They were even talking about it
when I went to St James Palace last night.”

“Is that where you went? After you left
Almacks?”

“Yes. That was when the King invited me
to the ball. Why?”

“Oh. No reason. I just …” Calista could
not admit to him that she had sat at the window for ages waiting for him to
return. “I just wondered, that’s all.”

The colonel smiled. “I see. Were you
worried about me, Calista?”

“I hardly think you need anyone to worry
about you, colonel.”

“Everyone needs at least one person in
their life who waits at the window for them.”

 Blushing furiously, Calista stared
after him wide-eyed as he took his leave.

Calista, Evelyn and Blanche had their
coats on and were about to leave for their walk, when they were summoned by
Lady Bedlington. Unusually for such an early hour, Her Ladyship was up and
dressed.

“I am glad I caught you,” she said.
“Evelyn, I wish to make a gift to you and the two young ladies.”

“Your hospitality is enough,” said Evelyn.

“That is very kind. But I still wish to
make a gift and I shall be offended if you refuse. What I thought was that I
would buy you all a brand new ball.”

“Lady Bedlington, really… That is a very
kind offer. Only it seems rather a lot…”

“As I said, Evelyn, I shall be offended
if you refuse. After last night’s unpleasantness, I wish to do something to
show that we are all friends again.”

“It is most generous,” said Blanche, her
eyes shining.

“Thank you,” said Calista, wondering
what had brought about Lady Bedlington’s sudden rush of generosity. Then again
she had already been generous in giving them a roof over their heads for the
season and making sure they met the right people.

“What I suggest,” Lady Bedlington
continued, “is that you, Evelyn, and Miss Kirkham go on ahead to the shops and
order your dresses. Tell the dressmakers to add the bill to my account. If Miss
Haywood will be kind enough wait for me, she can accompany me in my carriage.”

Whilst it seemed a strange request,
Evelyn and Blanche agreed, leaving soon after.

“That was very clever of me, do you not
think, Calista?” said Lady Bedlington.

“I am not sure what you mean.”

“I mean that I wished to buy you a new
dress for the ball at St. James Palace but I did not want to put Blanche’s nose
out of joint as, I gather, my great nephew did earlier.”

Calista did not feel comfortable enough
with Lady Bedlington to ask if she thought the colonel was merely trying to get
back at Blanche. “You really do not have to buy me a dress. Unless… well unless
you think the one I have will not be good enough for St. James Palace.”

“It is a perfectly suitable and charming
dress. However Brook mentioned that it seemed unfair to him that Blanche was to
have a new gown and you were not, so I said I would buy you one. And it seemed
to me that things would be much worse for you if I left Blanche out. Now, let
us go and purchase your gown. Then we will dine out for luncheon.”

The morning was spent in a flurry of
activity, as Lady Bedlington took Calista first to a dressmaker, then to a
milliner and then on to luncheon at a fine restaurant. Calista could not help
noticing that the dressmaker was not the same one that Blanche used, despite
Lady Bedlington saying they would meet them at some point.

“I thought we were only buying a ball
gown,” said Calista when they sat down to luncheon.

“You do not like your new morning
dress?”

“I like it very much only…”

“Do you think your step-sister notices
anything you wear, Calista?” asked Lady Bedlington.

“No, I do not suppose she does.”

“Then the extra dress will be our
secret.”

“I think she might notice it is finer
than all my other clothes,” said Calista with a smile. “I am very grateful,”
she added hastily. Not only had Lady Bedlington bought her two new gowns, but
also new under garments and other accessories such as ribbons and bows, and a
reticule to match her ball gown. All Calista could do was obey meekly as Her
Ladyship gave orders to the dressmaker and milliner to measure her.

Despite her reservations about accepting
the clothes, she could not deny the pleasure of choosing new gowns and
accessories. Or at least choosing as far as she were allowed. Lady Bedlington
knew instinctively what was right for Calista and was not shy about sending the
dressmaker back to find something more suitable. When the dressmaker emerged
with one particularly bright-coloured gown, Lady Bedlington snapped, “You are
dressing a decent, well-bred young woman, not an actress.” The tradespeople
were clearly terrified of her, and she seemed to actively enjoy their fear,
having them scurrying all over the shop to find the correct attire. “When you
get to my age,” she had murmured to Calista, “tormenting tradespeople is one of
the few pleasures in life.”

And yet, despite Lady Bedlington’s
sometimes waspish tongue, everyone seemed to adore her. Perhaps because she was
never unfairly sharp. She would often follow up a tongue lashing with a
charming and well-deserved compliment, to the point that it was sometimes
impossible to see the join.

It was the same in the restaurant. There
were other diners there, some of whom Calista recognized as being higher up the
nobility than Lady Bedlington. Yet it was for her that the waiters dashed
around, making sure everything was perfect. She rewarded them with a dazzling
smile and, before they left, a big tip. The other diners also came up to talk
to her whilst they awaited their food.

One man, a rather jowly nobleman in his
fifties, came over to the table, his legs wobbling dangerously as if he had had
far too much to drink. “So, Agatha, who is this young filly?”

“This is my relative, Calista Haywood.
Calista, this is the Earl of Garton.”

“I’m pleased to meet you, my lord,” said
Calista. She felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny, and only vaguely noticed
Lady Bedlington describing her as a relative.

“And I am very pleased to meet you,
young lady.” The Earl leered at her, still rocking back and for on his toes.
“What brings you to London? Husband hunting no doubt. Well, I’m looking to take
a new wife. May I call on you, tomorrow?”

“I … er…” Calista looked at Lady
Bedlington, terrified of saying the wrong thing, but knowing that she did not
want anything to do with this horrible, drunken man.

“You may not,” said Lady Bedlington.

“Let the girl answer for herself, can’t
you?” said the Earl.

“Calista has not yet reached her
majority, so any protestations of affection you wish to show will have to come
via me. I assure you, I intend to choose very well for my little cousin.”

“Dash it, Agatha, I am on ten thousand a
year, and have a title. She could not do much better.” The Earl looked at
Calista. “You would do well to consider my offer, girl.” He wandered away from
their table, and almost crashed into a group of diners at another table.

“I do not want to marry him,” Calista
whispered. She was gripped by the fear that if Lady Bedlington decided it was a
good match, then she would have no choice but to say yes, out of gratitude for
what Her Ladyship had done for her.

“Of course not. He’s an old man, and a
drunk at that. Do not look so afraid. He asks a dozen women a week to marry him
when he is drunk. No doubt he will wake up tomorrow morning and forget having
asked you.  ah, here is someone to put the smile back on your face.”

Calista turned in the direction that
Lady Bedlington was looking and saw the colonel walking towards them. “You are
late, Brook.”

“I’m sorry Aunt Agatha … Miss Haywood.
The work on the house has just started and I wanted to be sure that the
builders know what they are doing. Mr. Benedict is supervising them now.”

“Well come and sit down and order
otherwise we shall never eat.”

The colonel sat between Calista and Lady
Bedlington, and was immediately given a menu.  “Has everything been sorted
out?” he said to his aunt.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“Sorted out?” said Calista.

“Just some private business between us,
dear girl,” said Lady Bedlington.

“Oh. I am sorry. I did not mean to pry.”

“You had every right to. It is
ill-mannered of Brook to start a conversation in which you can have no part.”

“Yes, it was,” said the colonel. “Please
accept my apologies, Miss Haywood.”

“May I ask you what changes you decided
upon in the house?” asked Calista, assaulted by the intense feeling that she
wanted to change the subject. Although she could not be certain, she had a
feeling that the cryptic conversation between the colonel and his great aunt
had something to do with her and also that it had something to do with her new
dresses.

Was it possible that the colonel had
insisted she be better attired for the ball at St. James Palace? And if so, did
that mean that he had noticed her clothes and found her wanting?

“Aren’t you longing to tell me all about
your new ball gown and pretty new hat?” said the colonel, his lips forming into
a wry grin.

“I am sure you would find that very
boring,” said Calista.

“He is teasing you, Calista. Take no
notice. Now tell Calista all about your house or I shall send you home at
once.”

“Actually I won’t,” said the colonel. “I
want it to be a surprise. I’ve already promised Miss Haywood she can be amongst
my first guests.”

Calista was about to answer, when she
noticed the Earl of Garton approaching them again. “So this is the way the wind
is blowing, is it, girly?” he said to her.

“I am not sure I understand what you
mean.”