Love Notes (18 page)

“Charlie, he’s really going to need you. Football is everything to him. He is the county, hell, the state rising star.”

She wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t know, or already fear. I had the same things running through my mind. In fact, I was more concerned about this, than I was about his surgery.

“I know Tor, I know. Thanks for listening, I really do appreciate it. I need to eat, shower and get back to the hospital as soon as possible.”

I hear a loud sigh on the other end of the line so I know that Tori has something to say but she’s keeping it to herself. “Just say it Tori.”

“Look, all I want to say is, if you don’t take care of yourself then you won’t be any good to him. You know when he wakes up he’ll need you and when he finds out about his knee, he’s going to have a hard time accepting it.”

“I’m well aware Tori,” I snap at her.

I automatically regret and feel like shit for snapping, but damn it to hell, all of this has gone through my head already and then some.

However, I do feel bad and she doesn’t deserve it, she’s always there for me.

“I’m really sorry Tori, I didn’t mean it. I’m just tired, hungry and nasty and I think I stink.”

And just like that, the Tori I have come to know and love forgives me, without a second thought.

“Yeah I know Charlie, I can smell you through the phone. Get your nasty ass in the shower. It’s a hell of a lot more important than eating at this point.”

“Ha, ha very funny. Fine, shower it is. I will call you when Maverick gets out of surgery.”

I end the call, grateful that my friend is there for me and is so forgiving. I hop in the shower, hoping that maybe it will help wake me up from this damn nightmare. As I’m in the shower, I let the water cascade down. I stay in until the hot water runs out and get out feeling no better, with the exception that I’m clean.

I hurry and get dressed, eat and get ready to prepare myself to go back and be with “my” guy.

Chapter 30-Charlie

I’m almost at the hospital. I made myself stay away for a full three hours, thinking that by the time I got there, surely he would be out of surgery.

My anxiety levels are reaching new heights.

It seems to take an eternity to get there. By the time I park and reach the waiting room where Robert and Carol will be waiting, unless of course the surgery is over.

As soon as I walk in the waiting area, I only see Robert. As soon as I reach him, he reaches over, giving me what I have now deemed to be, his traditional bear hug.

“He’s out of surgery and in his room. He’s out of it, but he’s in there and it went really well.”

“Can I see him? Please.”

He gives me a soft smile and says, “Of course you’re family, let’s go. They've moved him into a different room.”

I was still getting used to these niceties. “Thank you,” I whisper back. He leads the way and I follow.

We stop at Maverick's door and peer in, not exactly sure of what to expect. I look in and see him with Carol sitting beside him.

He appears to have his eyes slightly open. Carol looks up and smiles. I walk in slowly, even though I want to run as fast my legs will take me, to his side.

As I approach his bed, I see that his eyes are indeed open, but he looks groggy.

I can’t seem to keep the huge grin off of my face.

“Hey Mav.” I could get lost in those eyes of his.

His lip pulls up on one side in the traditional Maverick smile. “Hey babe.”

Hearing him say that makes my insides turn to Jell-O.

“I’ve missed you, you know.”

He looks as if he may be in some pain. As if sensing my thoughts, “Naw, I honestly don’t feel a thing. They have me on some pretty good drugs. I was so worried about you and I’m so glad to see you’re safe. Have I told you lately, that you look smoking hot?” Just like Maverick to be slightly inappropriate.

“Maverick,” I say. He chuckles his sexy chuckle, “Well, I’m not saying anything that isn’t true, you know.”

I spend a couple of hours with Maverick at his bedside, while he comes in and out of consciousness. Robert and Carol come in and out of the room. Finally, knowing that I’m there and feeling comfortable enough to leave, they go home to shower, saying they’ll be back in an hour. The doctor said it would be like this for several hours. Sitting beside him, just the two of us, gives me a chance to really examine him. Maverick’s features are masculine, but still beautiful. I chuckle low, thinking what a ribbing I would get from him, if I actually said that out loud. It’s unreal to me, that this hot as sin guy, has picked me over anyone else. It’s not just his looks either, but his kindness and sense of humor. It’s also the way he makes me feel about myself and how he hates how my dad had treated me, the day he came over for dinner.

It isn’t long before Robert and Carol walk back in, the three of us sitting and talking. It’s so easy with them. Before long, Maverick starts to wake up, becoming more alert.

The moment he sees me clearly, he smiles, “Hey Charlie, have you been here the whole time?”

“Nope, you’re parents made me go home to shower and eat,” I say with a smirk. Obviously forgetting our previous conversation.

“Good, I’m glad they were taking care of you, while I couldn’t.” I smile up at them and look back to Maverick, “Yeah, they’re pretty awesome.”

Maverick glances over at his parents, “Can I have a few minutes with Charlie, please?” I turn to look at them as they go and smile, grateful for just a few minutes of alone time with him awake.

He’s so intent and serious. He’s just staring at me. He’s starting to make me feel a bit self conscious.

“I heard you Charlie.” he says.

I’m not understanding what he’s saying.

“Mav, what are you…”

He interrupts me, “When you were in here I guess last night, I could hear you. I felt you hold my hand, felt you kiss my lips. I heard you tell me you loved me. I could hear other voices but I felt and heard you. I don’t know what I would do without you. I was so worried about you.”

I’m actually very surprised to hear this. I have heard of these kinds of things happening but never had firsthand experience.

As if to give him extra reassurance I say, “See, I’m safe and sound and I’m here and I love you.”

He grabs my hand and puts it to his lips, gently kissing my knuckles and says. “Yeah, I know.”

Right then I hear a noise behind me and see Maverick's parents peeking into the doorway. I know they’re anxious to speak to Maverick and get the dreaded discussion out of their way. My heart aches for him and he doesn’t even know yet.

“Can we come in? We have a few things we need to discuss,” Robert says.

I feel so nervous about this inevitable conversation, and I start sweating profusely. Maverick must feel the tension in my hand, but he doesn't even flinch at my sweaty palms. In fact, he tightens his grip on my hand.

Robert starts the conversation. “Maverick we need to discuss your injuries and what they entail.”

I glance at Carol looking at her for any sign that I need to leave the room, and give them some space. She knows what my look means, because she gently shakes her head no. I’m glad she wants me here, it’s where I need to be.

“There’s no easy way to say this except to just say it. Maverick, you had what the doctor’s call a hyper-extended knee. Your knee was put through too much trauma and it will never be the same again. You will probably always have knee issues from here on out, and playing would definitely make it worse. You will not be able to play football again. . . It could hyper-extend again at any time.”

Maverick lets go of my hand and brushes it through his hair messing it in the process. Even though he’s in a hospital gown and cut and bruised, I can't help but marvel at my hot as sin boyfriend.

I’m missing the warmth of his hand in mine, until he says, “Charlie I need to speak to my parents and I need you to go home.”

An instant chill runs right through me and I immediately fear the worst.

I feel so hurt. I can see the pain in his eyes and I knew he would be devastated when he was told about the extent of his injury. I truly did, but I never imagined that he would instantly try to push me away.

“Are you sure?” I whisper.

He turns his head away so he’s not looking at me and I receive his clipped conformation, which is all I need to confirm my fear.

Be it in a whispered hush, but none the less I hear it. “Yes.”

I know he’s hurting, but surely he doesn't mean this? I turn to catch the eye of his parents and see the same pain mirrored across their faces. I can't help it. I flee the room with tears streaking down my face and a slowly breaking heart.

Chapter 31-Charlie

I run out of his room as fast as I can through the hospital, all the while watching people watch me like a crazy person or better yet, like an escaped crazy person.

I don’t care, I just know I need out of there . I run to the hospital parking lot, where my beloved Lexie is sitting. Knowing my Jeep is my only safe haven. I pull the door open and plop down in the driver's seat, all the while crying. I yank my iPod out of my bag and shove my ear buds in. I sit in the hospital parking lot and listen over and over to the same song. I'm not ready to leave.

There’s no way I am ready for the tongue lashing I’ll be receiving when I get home. I don’t doubt that my dad will soon be there and that my mom will have told him what transpired between us. Something would need to give. I can’t wait to turn 18 so I can just leave this place. I can’t take it anymore.

I didn’t doubt how Maverick felt about me but I would be lying if his rejection of me didn’t jack with my already poor self-esteem. Deep down I knew his reaction wasn’t about me, but when you already have a not so good view of yourself, it’s very easy to start doubting things again.

When I finally glance at my phone to check the time, I see that two hours have already passed. I’m scared as hell about leaving and heading to the dreaded place I call home. It’s like walking into a death trap. You know it’s going to be bad, but it’s the unexpected you have to worry about. I decide to stop delaying the inevitable and head home.

The minute I pull into the driveway my heart begins beating a million miles a minute. Oh, who am I kidding, it started the minute I left the hospital parking lot to come home.

I mentally prepare myself for the fight that I know is about to come. I walk ever so slowly inside, because why run, right? It’s going to happen regardless, may as well delay it for as long as I can. The moment I open the front door, I can sense the tension in the air. It's hard to describe really, but I know the shit's about to hit the fan. How much more I can take, I don’t know. Letting it out with my mom was huge and believe it or not, made me feel a little freer. It started to let me see things a little more clearly, regarding how I should be treated.

I’m immediately verbally assaulted when they hear the door shut. Not going to lie, my dad scares me and it makes me tremble. My mom does what she does best. Tucks her tail, head down, avoiding any and all contact with me and leaves the room.