Love for the Matron (17 page)

Elizabeth sat down and the Sisters sat down quickly or slowly according to their age or their nature. Elizabeth looked around the table as if doing a mental roll call to make sure that no one was missing, and, more circumspectly, the Sisters of St. Genevieve
’
s regarded their Matron. There was a suggestion of a murmur of inattention no louder than the whisper of the sea washing over a pebbled beach, but it was instantly hushed as Elizabeth began to speak.

“Good morning, Sisters. For this morning we will depart from the usual custom and hear complaints during the second half of the meeting. No doubt many of you have heard that the builders will start on the new wing, and that inevitably there will be some disturbance of routine. We
’
ll do our best to keep this to a minimum. If at any time a very ill patient is unduly disturbed I rely upon you to let me or Miss Selby know, and we
’
ll try to do something about it
..
. moving the patient if need be to a side ward away from the medical side. Men
’
s Medical will be closed down almost completely and its patients accommodated elsewhere. I wish this could be avoided, but it would be asking too much of the patients to expect them to endure the drilling and other noisy procedures during the early stages of the building. The Path Lab will be doing their work in one end of the X-Ray Department, but as they will have only a small space in which to work you could help a great deal by sending your specimens promptly
...”
Elizabeth went on for another five minutes, detailing the changes, most of which arose as a result of the contemplated building and modernization program.

There was a brief silence when Elizabeth finished and then a buzz of subdued comment as if they were gathering their forces for a reply.

It was Sister Allison who spoke first and her voice was tight and thinned with anger. “I don
’
t see why there has to be so much messing and changing things about. We
’
ve had builders in before now and there
’
s never been so much upset.”

Sister Collins tried to pour oil on the ruffled waters. “Not to the same extent, Sister Allison
...”

Sister Winsley put in a quick: “I don
’
t know how I
’
m ever expected to manage with half my storage space being used as
day
rooms!”

“Couldn
’
t it be done more gradually, Matron?” Sister Moffatt was the first one to address Elizabeth directly.

“The modernization of the wards and the redecorating will be done gradually, but the initial project of building the laboratory block has to be done as quickly as possible
...
even if only from the point of view of noise,” Elizabeth explained. “The only other possible alternative is to close part of the hospital, and I think you
’
ll agree with me that with the new class of assistant nurses starting it would be preferable not to do that.”

A voice said very clearly, without appearing to address anyone in particular, “With the assistant nurses starting we
’
ll probably
have
to close the hospital.”

Elizabeth picked up the challenge. “I hope that I can rely upon all of you to give the new teaching program a fair trial. Other small hospitals have already made the changeover to assistant nurses and report that they are quite happy about it.”

“But not St. Genevieve
’
s. We have a long tradition of training student nurses, and
we
weren
’
t consulted about the change,” said another voice.

Elizabeth felt like asking the speakers to identify themselves in proper delegation fashion. “I don
’
t think I
’
m being unreasonable if I remind all of you that I
’
ve only inherited the changeover
...
it was all decided upon before I took the job,” Elizabeth said quietly. She glanced at Miss Selby. “I think we might have the complaints now, please.”

She listened to the
familiar list ...
orderlies staying too long in the canteen
...
not enough ward maids the wrong type of cleaning woman
...
the kitchen sending up what they thought the wards should have rather than what the wards had ordered ... Each item was discussed and remedies suggested and recommendations adopted. She was quick to notice that much of the earlier hostility had now evaporated under the influence of soothing routine. They all knew that some of the remedies would work, that some of the recommendations would be turned down by the various unions that the hospital non-nursing staff belonged to, that the kitchen would
be more obedient for a time before it slipped back into its dictatorial role
...
but at least they all had the easement of discussion and the brief feeling that something had been done about an irritant at last.

It was after eleven when the final item was cleared from the agenda and maids came in with jugs of coffee, plates of biscuits, and trays of cups. There was conversation now and a relaxed air about the group and no suggestion of a move towards a soapbox to cry the meeting down. The coffee wasn
’
t very hot and the b
i
scuits were all the same variety; then the Ward Sisters began to worry about the wards they had left behind them, and departed with a murmured excuse. So Elizabeth put down her cup and departed too, not quite sure whether Miss Selby and Sister Winsley and Sister Allison had even noticed her departure. She got back to her office to find William sitting there with a coffee tray beside him with one half-empty cup and one clean one. He got to his feet as she entered with his usual courtesy, and yet somehow he managed to make that simple action as intimate as a caress.

“I hope you don
’
t mind having me for coffee as well, but I
’
ve come to see you about Stuart
...
he has
‘
flu rather badly. I think he should be admitted, but he refuses to consider it ... at the moment. However, he did say that he might listen to you.”

Elizabeth stared at him rather blankly. The transition from one world to another had been too abrupt
...
and then her mind went swiftly into action.

“There
’
s an empty side ward on Men
’
s Medical. He would be all right there as it
’
s at the quieter end. I could slip over and see him during my lunch hour. How is the housekeeper coping?”

“I don
’
t think she
’
s any too keen to take in the responsibility, and she
’
s not a very cheerful type to have around when you
’
re feeling like death, anyway I suggested moving him across to Castleford but Dear Emily said she wouldn
’
t even work out her notice if I did. I. think she hates
all
men today,” William chuckled.

“I
’
m sorry
...”
Elizabeth began
.
But William put his hand over hers. “You mustn
’
t be
...
ever,” he interrupted firmly.

Elizabeth steadied the quiver from her lips. “I won
’
t be
...
ever.”

William got to his feet “Time I went to see my patients in the town. I have an idea that this
‘
flu is going to get a lot worse. Better check on your supply of oxygen tents and treble your order of oxygen cylinders,” he warned her, and then went his way.

Elizabeth sat very still for a moment to savor the full flavor of the past brief interlude before she took up the reins of duty once more and got busy on the telephone. Once she knew all St. Genevieve
’
s resources were mobilized for any epidemic outbreak of influenza she relaxed and glanced at the time. If she went to first lunch she could take less than her half-hour without there being any senior staff to notice or comment, and then she could walk over to the Gate House. She needn
’
t change out of uniform. A hospital matron taking an after-lunch stroll on a day like this would attract little attention, she was sure.

Elizabeth rang the bell at the Gate House, and after a lengthy interval Gladys came to open it. She stared rather stupidly at Elizabeth, not recognizing her in uniform.

“I
’
m the Matron of St. Genevieve
’
s and I
’
ve come to arrange about Mr. Nichols
’
s admission to hospital,” she said with crisp authority.

A ghost of a smile flitted over the grey face. “I
’
m pleased about that, ma
’
am. I
’
m no hand at caring for the sick ones and Mr. Nichols is iller than he lets on, but I
’
ve laid out many a dead one in the past.” She peered over Elizabeth
’
s shoulder as if inspecting the ghosts of those gone before.

Elizabeth repressed a shiver. “Please take me to Mr. Nichols,” she told the gloomy old woman firmly.

Stuart stared at her with eyes that were bright from fever and his hand reached out to clutch hers in a hot grasp. “So William did give you my message after all. I wasn
’
t sure that he would trust me that much ... or you either, for that matter.”

Elizabeth flushed a little. “Have you asked Gladys to pack your things for you?” she asked gently.

He laughed weakly. “That old scarecrow
?
Not on your life! She might be measuring me for my grave clothes. They
’
re in these two top drawers, and my shaving kit and so on are in the bathroom next door. You
’
ll find my case in the top of the wardrobe. You shouldn
’
t have to do all this, but somehow I didn
’
t fancy asking William. What have you done to him, Elizabeth? He
’
s like a boy let out of school ... or haven
’
t I the right any more to ask you personal questions?” He didn
’
t appear to expect her to answer but lay back on his pillows and closed his eyes as if content to leave all arrangement and all decision to her.

Elizabeth packed swiftly and then phoned William at Castleford and asked him to order an ambulance. She was thankful that he answered the phone. She hadn
’
t enjoyed the thought that she might have to try to crash through Dear Emily
’
s barrier of non-interruption of William
’
s peace.

The ambulance men were on the doorstep as she was preparing to leave and she left Gladys to direct them and walked back to the hospital. She had no wish to linger and enjoy the spring sunshine. It wasn
’
t so much that she was worrying about Stuart, although she realized that he was seriously ill, but that she found herself resenting the intrusion of other considerations upon this very special interlude in her life. Her ordinary hospital duties would have been demand enough, but Stuart
’
s admission would entail some degree of personal involvement.

Would William remember to phone Sister Allison about Stuart
’
s admission? She decided it was safer to run that risk rather than to have to face the older woman
’
s resentment at the Matron
’
s interfering in a ward
’
s internal affairs. She was beginning to discover that her margin of safety was narrower than she thought possible. It had been a dream
...
once
...
that when she climbed to the exalted post of Matron she would have a free hand to put right all the things that had annoyed her as student nurse, staff nurse, Sister
...
She knew now that it was as impossible of attainment as a child
’
s fantasy of a grown-up
’
s unlimited freedom. No doubt prime ministers and presidents and kings and queens had made the same discovery.

Elizabeth glanced at the
cl
ock. It was really time for her to go off duty for the afternoon, but she hadn
’
t made her round yet and it was rather late
...
Where should she start today? She decided that she was in the mood for the Children
’
s Ward first. She looked for Margaret Smith as she went by her secretary
’
s little office, but the girl wasn
’
t there ... she must still be down in Records collecting some information Elizabeth had been asked for. She didn
’
t bother telling Switchboard. After all, they would expect her to be off now and any calls for the Matron would automatically go through to Miss Selby until five o
’
clock, unless they happened to be personal calls.

The blinds were still down in the Children
’
s Ward as there would be no visitors this afternoon, but already the children were stirring and chattering like sleepy sparrows and one or two of the older ones were having a surreptitious look at their comics which they hastily thrust under their pillows as they heard Elizabeth
’
s footsteps. She smiled reassuringly at them as she passed and they smiled shyly back. There were no nurses in the main ward, but then of course it was still the rest hour officially, She would probably find someone in the dressing ward or the sluice
...
a pity she hadn
’
t checked with the off-duty list before she left her office, and then she would know whether Sister Moffatt were on or not. She came out of the main ward and was about to turn towards the dressing ward when she heard a murmuring voice from one of the little side wards. Perhaps it was Sister Moffatt.

There was
a
screen across the open door but there was space to slip through without moving it. Elizabeth went round the end of the screen and then stopped in amazement at the scene that confronted her. The side of the nearest cot was down and kneeling beside it was Miss Selby with her arms around the small child; they were rocking back and forth and crooning a little lullaby. The childish head was resting against Edith Selby
’
s plump shoulder and one little hand was caressing the woman
’
s cheek; but it was the expression on her Deputy Matron
’
s face that held Elizabeth in frozen stillness. Not even on Maternity had she seen such a look of motherly love. Something about the child
’
s features caught at Elizabeth
’
s attention and then compassion flooded her. The little patient was a Mongolian idiot, and probably singing the simple lullaby marked the ceiling of her achievements.

Elizabeth must have made some sound without being aware of it, because Edith Selby was scrambling to her feet, her face ablaze with protective love and anger at being discovered.

“I thought you were off duty, Miss Graham,” she stammered.

Elizabeth pretended that nothing out of the ordinary had occurred and explained her reasons for making her round now.

“What is the little girl
’
s name? She has a sweet voice, hasn
’
t she? Mongols are so often very musical.” Elizabeth couldn
’
t avoid reading the mixture of resentment and pride and love that swept across the older woman
’
s face.

“Felicity Conway, Miss Graham,” Miss Selby answered as curtly as she dared.

“Felicity ... a good name for a happy child. I won
’
t keep you, Miss Selby. I expect I
’
ll find Staff Nurse in the dressing ward.” She reasoned that Sister Moffatt was not likely to be on duty if Miss Selby was amusing a child in the side ward. She went back around the screen and affected not to notice that Felicity was holding out her arms in pleading to the woman who stood silent beside her cot. Elizabeth had a few brief words with Staff Nurse at the door of the dressing ward and then continued thoughtfully on her rounds. A vague memory was tugging at the edge of her awareness ... a recollection of having seen the name Felicity Conway written down somewhere, and not in a ward report. She would have to have a look through the papers Miriam Brown had left.

She had a moment of wondering what Miriam Brown might think of what was happening to herself and William
...
then she saw that she was approaching the last ward on her round, Men
’
s Medical. For a moment she paused in order to give herself time to draw her customary composure about her like a protective cloak. Stuart Nichols would have been admitted by now and she must be prepared to greet him as casually as any other of her patients. As she turned the sharp
corner
into the corridor that led to Men
’
s Medical she became aware of raised voices. Instinctively she paused rather than infringe upon the speakers. Then she realized it was Sister Allison talking in a very aggrieved tone to someone and she saw that that someone was William himself who was being attacked

“...
and this isn
’
t the first time lately that things on my ward have been arranged without my knowledge or consent. I
’
ve known and worked with you for a good many years, Doctor Gregory, and you
’
ve changed, and I don
’
t think I
’
ve far to look to put my finger on the reason
...”

There was an appalling moment of silence as Sister Allison sensed Elizabeth
’
s approach and whipped round. A tide of red surged up the older woman
’
s face and then without another word she hurried into her office and closed the door with a decided bang, leaving William and Elizabeth staring at one another aghast.

It was William who spoke first. “I suppose you
’
ve come to see Stuart,” he began.

Elizabeth hesitated. “I did come to do a ward round, but as Sister Allison isn
’
t available
...”
she stopped uncertainly.

“Will you take my word for it that Stuart is
...
resting comfortably? It might be better if you finished your round later. I thought you were off duty this afternoon.”

“I am,” Elizabeth said miserably, filled now with the conviction that if she had gone off duty to time she wouldn
’
t have caught Miss Selby unawares on the Children
’
s Ward or walked headlong into an embarrassing clash with Sister Allison.

William glanced at her face and then took her by the arm and led her down the corridor away from the ward.

“Can we go over to the Matron
’
s house? I think we could both do with a cup of tea, and there
’
s
s
omething I want to tell you.”

Something in his voice struck her and she looked at him anxiously. “More trouble?”

He smiled slightly at that. “Not exactly, but let
’
s not talk about it here.”

The two of them walked through the hospital corridors, a spectacle that should cause no surprise, the Matron of St. Genevieve
’
s accompanying her senior physician to the front door. There was no one at the reception desk, but they could hear the girl talking to the switchboard operator behind the partition. They went down the steps, but there were no visitors today waiting to be allowed into the wards and the lawns were empty of all life apart from the birds who were busy with the gestures of courtship. It took only a few minutes to reach the Matron
’
s house and this time Elizabeth handed William the key without being prompted. The door opened quietly, the little hall was dark and cool and there was nothing to suggest the warmth of the scene that had taken place there last night.

William paused for a moment as if remembering and then shook his head and said, “Not now.”

He stood aside to let Elizabeth go up the stairs firs
t.
As they emerged into the sitting-room there was a sound of movement from the kitchen beyond and then Annie came through carrying a tray.

She stopped in surprise at seeing them. “I forgot you
’
d be off this afternoon, Miss Graham.”

Elizabeth glanced at the tray. “Would you make us a pot of tea, please, Annie
?
”

“Yes, Miss Graham, and I
’
ll fetch another cup.” She looked in William
’
s direction. “Seems strange somehow to see you here now that Miss Brown
’
s gone, sir. Would you have heard how she
’
s going
on?”

William shook his head. “It
’
s a bit too soon, Annie. It takes time for treatment to help a complaint like Miss Brown
’
s.”

Annie nodded wisely. “I expect you
’
re right, sir, although calling what she had a complaint sounds funny when she was never one to
complain
.
I
’
ll be making the tea now.”

Elizabeth motioned William to a chair and sat down herself; suddenly conscious of a weariness that went far beyond physical tiredness, as if the wings of her spirit had been beating against the bars of some invisible cage and they were bruised and battered.

“Did you know she might be here?” she asked in a half whisper.

“
Yes, I remembered
...
just in time.”

There was something in his expression that sent the blood singing through her veins, but the consciousness of Annie
’
s presence held her still, and she was content to sit and gaze at William sitting here in her house. Awareness of the growing feeling between them wove a web of enchantment that made her see everything through a haze of happiness that dazzled rather than dimmed.

Annie came back with the teapot and a plate of crumpets. “I recalled how you liked them, sir. The fire
’
s about right for the toasting if you
’
re not in too much of a hurry.” She put the things down and glanced at the tray and clucked irritably. “There I go forgetting the cup. Can
’
t think what
’
s getting into me these days. It must be the changing of things when they
’
r
e
really the same, if you get my meaning.”

She brought the cup and saucer and handed them to Elizabeth. “I
’
ll be away now. You needn
’
t bother to wash up. I
’
ll do them when I come in later.”

She went, but the shadow of her lingered for a little, and Elizabeth had time to wonder if Annie had found out who had shared the crumpets last time; but she had washed up herself after Stuart had gone
...
unless Annie had thought that not even a very hungry Matron could have eaten the whole plateful. Rather guiltily she thought of Stuart lying ill over in hospital, and she hadn
’
t even been in to ask him if he were comfortable.