Love Always, Damian (28 page)

Chapter 37

Damian

The sun isn’t up yet when I knock on Ellie’s apartment door. I don’t want to wake Lia, and I hope to God Blake isn’t here. The thought that he might be almost makes me sick. This is
my
fucking family, and it’s way past time for me to claim them.

I knock again, a little louder this time. Stepping back, I shift my weight, impatient. I’m ready, so ready to be the man they deserve.

I can’t be without them for another minute. If Ellie doesn’t answer soon, I might resort to breaking down her door. But before I raise my hand again, it swings open. Ellie stands there, hair a mess, sleep heavy in her eyes. She wears a black top with super skinny straps and a tiny pair of pink shorts, and all I can do is stare because even half-asleep, this girl looks amazing.

She blinks. “Damian? What are you—”

“You alone?” I interrupt, glancing around her and into the apartment.

“Uh, Lia’s here. What’s going on?”

“Only Lia?”

Ellie takes a step back. Peers up at me through long lashes. “There’s no one else.” Her voice is soft, and I hope I’m right in what it implies—that Blake is out of the picture.

“No one?” I repeat to be sure, moving into her until our bodies barely touch, her breath coming warm and fast from her chest.

Slowly, she shakes her head. “No one, Damian.”

As she says it, her gaze lowers to my mouth before it flicks back up again, and I realize she’s in as deep as I am. Blake is gone.

I can’t take it anymore. For so long I’ve fought this twist in my stomach, this ache in the depth of my soul, that now, standing here with this gorgeous, incredible woman in front of me, I’m at a loss for words. There’s so much I want to say, that I want her to understand. Instead of saying any of it, I cup my palms around her jaw and crush my lips against hers.

“Don’t ever answer the door wearing that,” I say against her.

She gasps. Stares at me for a second like she’s wondering if this is really happening.

“Believe it, Elle,” I tell her before I return to kissing her.

I walk her backwards, kicking the door closed behind me. I keep going until I have her pushed up against the kitchen counter.

“Lia asleep?” I ask.

“Yeah.” Ellie watches me, the wheels turning in her head. Probably thinking and rethinking what’s happened between us and what’s going to happen. Analyzing it play by play.

“Elle, baby, stop,” I say, calling her out and running my palms under her top and up her stomach. “This—you and me—we make sense. Everything we’ve been through has led us here, back to each other. We belong together, Elle.”

“That’s what scares me, Damian—the past,” she whispers.

“No,” I say, taking her face between my palms again. “The past was our foundation. Yeah, it sucked sometimes, but that doesn’t mean our future has to. You said it yourself: it’s time to stop hiding. Don’t let what’s behind us stop what’s right in front of us.”

I search her eyes. Bring her mouth up to mine. “This is right, Elle,” I say against her lips before I kiss them. “You know it!”

I’m right; I know this girl, and all the signs are there—in her gaze, in the way she bites her lip, and how she breathes with her mouth slightly open. I glide two fingers down the side of her neck. She shivers as she closes her eyes to revel in my touch. When they open, she focuses on me.

“Damian,” she says. Judging by the tone of her voice, her doubts are reeling her in.

“Elle,” I murmur, and taste her again. I won’t let her head get in the way of this. “Stop thinking and tell me you love me,” I tell her, hoping to make her smile. Maybe even laugh.

Instead, her fingers curl into my hair. “I love you,” she whispers.

My heart stops. “Say it again.”

She presses her forehead to mine, pauses there for a moment. “I love you, Damian Lowell,” she says. “I love you so much.”

I push my hands into her hair. Words form on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t get them out. I’m too elated. It doesn’t matter, though, because all I want to do is show her anyway. Talking is suddenly overrated.

I grab a hold of her ass. She gives a little jump, wrapping her legs around me. We’re mentally in sync. Our motions are automatic, like our bodies remember how well we fit together.

Squeezing a butt cheek, I press up against her. Push into her in the same rhythm she has with me. I hold half her weight, the counter accommodates the other. Those tiny shorts she has on ride up her crack, so I’m gripping bare skin and loving every second. I crave each dip and curve of this body, the one that’s so familiar to me, but I never fully appreciated. Tonight, I’m going to change that.

Ellie moans into my ear, then she devours my neck, sucking and nibbling like she’s never tasted me before. And like this, she hasn’t. All of her guards are down. What held her back each time we were together before doesn’t hold her back now because she’s not doing this to help numb anyone’s pain. Right now, she’s pure desire. Want. Need.

I lift her arms over her head and hold her wrists with one hand. With the other, I slide her shirt up, enjoying the sight when it goes over her boobs. Fuller than I remember, they bounce a little as I tug the material over her head. I skim my palms over them. Thumb the hard nipples bubbling from the centers.

As I do, I cover her lips with mine and slide my tongue inside to massage hers. She responds with urgency, her arms lowering and circling my neck to pull herself closer.

I’ve touched Ellie a million times. Kissed her. Felt her. Did all these things, but they’ve never sent me soaring the way they do now. I want to touch, caress, taste every inch of her, and when I’m done, I want to do it all over again.

Ellie’s hips thrust into me, harder each time, and I need to get her to her room and finish stripping her down. With her legs still wrapped around me, I carry her down the hallway to where I assume her bedroom is. I kiss her and try my damnedest to be quiet. The last thing I want is to wake Lia up.

“Here. Left,” Ellie pants, her voice breathy. Then she tugs my bottom lip between her teeth.

Inside, I don’t want to put her down and stop touching her, but I have to so I can lock the door. Afterward, I toss my shirt on the floor before I get back to her. Topless and on her back, Ellie’s so fucking sexy. Large round breasts tempt me, and I slide my knee onto the mattress and crawl up to her.

She shudders under me, and I lower my body over hers to warm her. To protect her. I suckle on her neck, the soft flesh so succulent in my mouth. She holds onto my biceps and turns her head to the side, giving me better access.

I trace a finger over her lips, her chin, and between her breasts. Her lungs expand as she fills them up, anticipating my next move. I don’t stop. Down, down, down her body. Lines of silver stretch marks from her pregnancy run down her belly and hips, and they’re so beautiful to me. They signify the miracle of life that grew inside her, that she sheltered for nine months and beyond.

I run a fingertip over one of them and peer up at Ellie as I do. She looks me over for a second before she rips her gaze away, suddenly self-conscious.

So I bend down. Kiss them. Glide my palms around her hips and bring her up to me.

“You’re perfect, Elle. Beautifully perfect,” I say against her skin. I peer back up at her. “I should have been here. I’m sorry.”

“I am too,” she murmurs. Then, she takes a hold of my wrists and guides them down, trusting me with her. Ellie’s not simply giving me permission; she’s giving me herself.

And I accept. Hooking my thumbs into the waistband of her shorts, I slide them down her thighs, touching as much skin as I can on my way to her ankles.

I toss them behind me, meet her stare, and smile. She’s propped up on her elbows watching me. Her lips red and slightly separated, she’s breathing heavy, and I know I’ll never get enough of this woman.

I skim the insides of her legs, her thighs, working my way up. Hands first, then my mouth follows. I want to kiss every part of her—finally make her mine.

At her knees, I push them open. She relents easily, letting them fall to the sides. With nothing more than a short graze of my tongue over the tip of her clit, I bypass what will be my taste of heaven so I can tease her some. Even after all these years, I remember what she likes. She whimpers, her mouth widening in an anticipation I won’t fulfill yet.

My dick is aching, but this isn’t about me. Too long have I played that game with nothing to show for it except pain and loneliness. So unlike all those times I fucked her to numb myself, I’ll make love to her with everything I have.

I round her hips and smooth over her pelvis. The brotherhood tattoo that matches mine is inked into her skin on the right side, on top of the bone. She cried when she got it done, her eyes connecting with mine as I sat beside her.

I sweep my thumb over it, and I’m reminded of the promise I made Liam—I’d take care of Ellie for him. I’ve done a shitty-ass job so far, and now I don’t want to take care of Ellie for him. No, I want to take care of her for
me
.

I lower my head down to her belly and slowly glide my tongue up her stomach. She flattens herself onto the mattress, still taking me in. Then, she cocoons me around the waist with legs that feel as good as they look. Tightens them around me before she brings me up to her mouth.

She giggles at her little trick, and all I can think about is how wonderful the sound is. How I don’t even care that she’s in the driver’s seat right now. That’s the thing about Elle, she never took the reins when we were together. She simply followed my lead and never asked or complained about anything.

This Ellie isn’t afraid. Isn’t hurting.

“Kiss me,” she says.

And I do. I suck her bottom lip into my mouth and slide the tip of my tongue over the smoothness. Letting go, I feel her exhale against me.

“Better?” I ask.

“Much.”

“Any more requests?”

She smirks. “I’ll let you know.”

I smile, tease her mouth with mine before I move down her body again to those plump breasts. I massage them, kneading them, savoring them. Before, I typically went straight for the gold, bypassing these beauties with little more than a short nibble and a squeeze.

Now, her nipples pebble under me. She closes her eyes and arches her back to relish in the sensation. I lick the tops of each. Blow cool air on them before sucking again. Under me, Ellie squirms against my stomach, raising her hips so my skin rubs her where she’s dying for me. She’s antsy, and I fucking love making her antsy.

Ellie lifts her hips into me, her pelvic bone hitting my arousal in the most perfect way. She props herself up on her elbows again and watches as I dip lower and lower, kissing her as I go.

Even before I get there, her legs are open for me. I can’t wait to be inside this woman, filling her the way she fills me. I kick off the rest of my clothes. I’m between her legs, and she sucks in a sharp intake of air.

I glide one finger through her crevice. Then two.

“You’re so fucking wet,” I murmur, adding another finger and another until I’ve coated my hand with her. She’s so ready for me, and I’m desperate to dive in.

I massage her. Kiss her. Finger her until she comes in my hand.

“Damian,” she cries out, her head sinking deeper into the pillow. It’s the first time she’s called out my name with such pleasure, and I need to hear it again. I belong to her as much as she belongs to me.

“More?” I ask, even though I already know.

“Yes. Yes,” she says, still panting from the orgasm I just gave her.

I position myself on top of her because I want to see her as I make love to her. Look into those gorgeous blues and watch every expression on her face as I take her higher and higher.

“Wait. I don’t have any condoms, and I—stopped taking the pill,” she breathes out.

I lean down and skate a kiss over her lips. “Good. I want to feel you.
Only
you.”

Ellie shakes her head. “But, Damian, what if—”

“I’m taking my chances. What’s the worst that could happen? That Lia gets a little brother?” I grin, and, slowly, a small smile appears on her face too. “I’m in this for the long haul. This is our family, and I’m going to take care of it.”

Her breath hitches, and she stares at me. Pale blue irises connect with mine, and her chest rises as she finally inhales.

“I love you, Elle.”

When she’d hung up on me, I’d only gotten the words half out. Still, I knew she heard them. But now,
now
, she believes them.

Eyes search mine, taking me in. Then, one hand caresses my face. A thumb traces over my lips.

“Say it again,” she says like I did earlier.

“I love you, Elle,” I say. Then I make us one.

Chapter 38

Ellie

The world stops spinning. Or it’s spinning faster—I don’t really know.

When I saw him on my doorstep, I had a major
Jerry McGuire
moment. Though he had me way before “hello.” The man who helped pick up the shards of my brokenness and then pieced me back together after Liam died is the only one who can make me whole. And that’s exactly what he’s doing now—making me whole.

Slow and tender, Damian glides in and out of me, making love to me in a way he’s never done before. He cradles me, caresses me, kisses me. Gently strokes my body with a softness I didn’t know he had.

I’m not used to this Damian. The one I knew only worked you enough to make his climax better. But now? Now he’s owning this. Not only with his body, it seems, but with his heart and soul too. I see it in his eyes—they’re brighter than I’ve ever seen. And as he stares at me, rocks into me, there’s a different kind of desire in his gaze. One that’s not focused on deadening the pain. It’s focused solely on me.

Through the lungfuls of air I’m heaving, I slip my tongue in his mouth, moving it to the rhythm he’s set for us. His thumb slides back and forth over a nipple and the sensation drives straight to my core. Between that, the kiss, and the perfect way he’s thrusting into me, I’m close to losing it again.

I tighten around him and dig my fingers into his biceps. It’s not until he speaks that I realize I’ve stopped kissing him.

“Come for me again, Elle. Just let go,” he murmurs against me.

I cling to him. My heart pounds against my ribs, and I wonder if he can feel it too. He pumps into me faster, tipping me over the edge. With my face buried into his shoulder, I cry out my pleasure. I raise my hips to meet him as the aftershocks rock my body.

He slows but doesn’t stop. Eases himself in and out as I contract around him. He sucks on my neck and I lay back to let him do whatever he wants. I’m putty in his hands.

“That. Was the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.” He’s grinning like an idiot, those dimples I love pinching in deep.

I’m still catching my breath, so I don’t answer. He’s not waiting for one anyway.

He lifts up on his arms to stare at me. A mischievous grin appears on his face.

“You good?” he asks.

I nod and reach up to lower his mouth to mine again. Our tongues meet in the middle, and he begins to speed up again, and I realize he hasn’t finished yet.

As if reading my thoughts, he smirks. “I want to hear you one more time. Louder.”

I’m speechless, and the only thing I can think to say is, “Lia-Kat?”

“We gotta talk about that nickname, baby. Don’t worry about her. That girl sleeps through anything, and tonight is about us. So lay back and enjoy what I’m doing to you.”

I don’t respond because his lips are on mine, and I have no choice but to obey. I sink into the mattress, concentrating on his body against mine. Skin against skin. Warmth against warmth.

God, he feels so good.

I run my palms up his arms, devouring him with my touch. I used to cover up the brotherhood tattoo on his arm as if by doing that, it would conceal the guilt I felt for sleeping with him. Like Liam wouldn’t see what we were doing.

Now though, I realize it’s a piece of Damian—a piece of me—that has led us to this place.

He pushes into me, and I’m so lost in him. I focus on his eyes, those brilliant sapphires I’ve dreamed of for years, which finally belong to me.

Damian slips a lock of hair behind my ear. “I love you, Elle. You. Only you. Everything about you.”

“Damian,” I say, just to taste his name on my lips.

He lowers himself over me, covering the length of my body with his and pushing deeper into me. His breath flows against my neck before he sucks the tender skin between his teeth. But I still need him closer, somehow still afraid that if I let go, he’ll disappear.

I wrap my legs around his hips and bring him into me. He groans, causing my desire to build higher. I wind my fingers in his hair to hold myself together for a little longer, because I don’t want this to end.

“Elle, you feel so amazing; you’re going to make me lose my mind,” he murmurs.

“Good. I want you to,” I breathe, barely able to get the words out because I’m so close to the edge. My whole body tenses, anticipating the release that will send me soaring again. I can’t hold back much longer.

Damian delves into me once.

Twice.

I squirm under him, gripping onto whatever part of him I can.

Three times—

And I lose it.

I hear Damian’s moan at my ear as he comes with me. His arms cradle me against him, his lips leaving a trail of kisses as they move from my neck to my mouth.

“Promise that I get to hear you cry out like this every night from now on.”

I’m panting, unable to catch my breath as I bathe in the afterglow of our love.

“Promise me,” he repeats, tucking my hair behind my ears.

Slowly, my senses return, and I nod.

“I promise.”

~*~

Damian

The last traces of moonlight dance over her skin. Her head nestles against my chest. Ellie fell asleep cuddled up like she used to do. Only this time, I want her here because she belongs.

I trail my fingers up and down her bare back, and it’s like touching her for the first time. This beautiful woman, the mother of my child, loves me. It’s crazy amazing. Especially after all we’ve been through—pain, loss, more pain.

But I’m ready. I’m so ready to move on. Because after so much darkness, I finally see the light.

I sweep Ellie’s hair from her face and kiss her forehead. Her lashes flutter but don’t open, and the simple act makes me smile. I hug her closer, press my lips against her, and close my eyes.

Life doesn’t get better than this.